Marrying a Morrocon

I am a british citizen born in uk, and a muslim. I would like to have as much advice as possible, regarding my relationship and whether it was going to be a fake or real marriage based on the following scenario:

some one has told me, he believes the girl I was with is 100% certain she is a fraud, scammer, gold-digger, and only wanting a British/European passport. she lives in casablanca , morocco.

He said If you don't believe me, ask others.

he believes she will not be anything but a financial burden to me based on the following examples:

shopping she made you pay for before the marriage, which was around £1,100 including around £400.00 for the jewellery,- tell me is it normal in moroccon marriage culture to allow the due to be wife to buy cloths and other materialistic things of her choice? please note this dosent include the moroccon wedding dress.

- she was expecting seperate dowry money of 10,000 dirhams, shouldnt this money of been included in the shopping she did??

and the money she asked me to send her based on her nephew being sick was around £300.00 via e-mail claiming she needs money because she lent money to her brother for his son's sickness,

The fact that I didn't stay at the girl's house, and the fact I stayed in a hotel during the marriage process and didnt meet all her family, cousins, uncles and aunties, and so on, does it PROVES it's a SCAM?

he told me in moroccon culture Because in moroccan culture, marriage is a big thing, and they make a HUGE NOISE about it.

he said Your marriage is similar to mine. where he didn't meet all the girls family, and it was kept QUIET. Why do u think that:?? It's so OBVIOUSLY FAKE.

I am really struggling to understand whether this girl is only interested in a british/european passport or not, as I have know her for over 3 years now, and have visited her about times. and she does say she loves me.

thanks for your help

Scam indeed  :mad:

i hope ur joking.  :blink:

otherwise i dont know who scares me more... u for believin its a real relationship or her... both of u are scary...  :o

my advice is.. run and don't look back

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hi there, many thanks for your response, so what part of my story, u feel proves that my relationship is a scam?

all of it... . u dont have to explain to someone an obvious scam. a scam is a scam. if i offered u a brand new iphone 6 for 50$, u dont need an explanation from someone why its a scam. scams are self-explanatory. if u dont see why its not a scam, i cant help u. marry her and find out the answer later if ur not sure. the rest of us know the answer already.

sure, i totally understand your point, u see the only reason why  wasn't sure is because i didnt realise certain parts of my experience actually prove that it was going to be a scam, for example: I stayed in a hotel and not at the  girls house during the marriage process, i didnt realise this was part of moroccon culture to allow the due to be husband to stay in the girls house, also I didnt meet the girls uncles, aunties, grand parents, or cousins, but only met her parents, brothers and sisters apart from one of her brothers and sisters hence why I wanted to get this clarified from as many moroccons as possible, for my satisfaction, by the way r u moroccon also?

All of the story you have recounted proves that this whole thing is a scam.

They want money out of you and a visa. You'll end up paying for the whole family's "disasters" too for the rest of your life if you don't get out of this relationship right now. You have already been cheated out of £300 for a non-existent nephew's non-existent illness. If someone can't afford private health care in Morocco, they can get it free from the public hospital, so this was a scam.

"shopping she made you pay for before the marriage, which was around £1,100 including around £400.00 for the jewellery,- tell me is it normal in moroccon marriage culture to allow the due to be wife to buy cloths and other materialistic things of her choice? please note this dosent include the moroccon wedding dress."

Scam. Although the man is responsible for much of the cost of the wedding itself, make-up and clothes should be the bride's responsibility and if the husband were to buy them, it should only be in the run-up to the wedding itself

"- she was expecting seperate dowry money of 10,000 dirhams, shouldnt this money of been included in the shopping she did??"

Yes.

"and the money she asked me to send her based on her nephew being sick was around £300.00 via e-mail claiming she needs money because she lent money to her brother for his son's sickness,"

This is an out-and-out lie. See above.

"The fact that I didn't stay at the girl's house, and the fact I stayed in a hotel during the marriage process and didnt meet all her family, cousins, uncles and aunties, and so on, does it PROVES it's a SCAM?"

Yes, they are ashamed of you. Are you black or Pakistani? If so, it is a disgrace that you are marrying her and the family have made a calculation that they can live with the disgrace as long as it's not too obvious to the family because the bridegroom (you) is clearly gullible and they are going to make a load of money out of you.

"he told me in moroccon culture Because in moroccan culture, marriage is a big thing, and they make a HUGE NOISE about it."

You should be celebrating with the men beforehand, all the friends of the family and all the male cousins and uncles, brothers and so on. During any marriage you would meet the rest of the family.

"he said Your marriage is similar to mine. where he didn't meet all the girls family, and it was kept QUIET. Why do u think that:?? It's so OBVIOUSLY FAKE."

He's right,

"I am really struggling to understand whether this girl is only interested in a british/european passport or not, as I have know her for over 3 years now, and have visited her about times. and she does say she loves me."

She says she loves you? For goodness sake, pull yourself together. How can she "lurve" you when you have only visited her a few times? It's easy to say "I love you" to someone who's wasting their money on them. Just wait till the first time you say "No". You'll see a different face of your beloved and her family then.

Hi Laduqesa,

Thank u do much for your response and input. it has indeed been very valuable for me to know this. Really appreciate your time. there are certain things I would like to discuss with u on this. please do let me know when u r free and on what days, so  can ask. many thanks again for your help.

oh my..... please.... tell me.... wat is there left to discuss? scams arent discussed... they are RUN AWAY from. the longer u think about them and remain involved with a scammer, the more u are going to lose and get scammed even more....seriously dude, everyone has told u its a scam. one bothered to take his time and explain it...its becoming beyond ridiculous now. u are getting treated like that by her because u are allowing her to take advantage of u. u should be angry that u already lost money and time, but instead u want to waste more time on it, and possibly money, by remaining in the relationship and discussing it after its already clear its a scam? wats wrong with u?

@behappy786

All of those members who have answered your post have done so in good faith and with you in mind.
You are being scammed pure and simple.
Get out now.

behappy786 wrote:

Hi Laduqesa,

Thank u do much for your response and input. it has indeed been very valuable for me to know this. Really appreciate your time. there are certain things I would like to discuss with u on this. please do let me know when u r free and on what days, so  can ask. many thanks again for your help.


Hi

I don't know what more I can tell you. Get out of this marriage/relationship now. Immediately! There is nothing to discuss.

One more thing I'll add to show that this is a scam is that if one of the partners is going to bring no one (or only a couple of people) to the wedding celebrations as a guest because they live far away or they are from abroad, a large, expensive wedding (that it doesn't seem you were invited to because they are ashamed of you) with loads of clothes for the bride and lots of guests is not the norm. If the other family insists on a large, fancy wedding, then this is up to them to pay for it, not you.

Hi,
thanks for your response, in reply to your question about me, yes I am of Pakistani origin born and bread in the UK, but before I asked this question about my experince I was seriously confused and really did not know all these factors had a big influence in determining that the marriage/relationship is a scam, especially regarding the fact I stayed in a hotel and not the girls house. so from what I understand now, is that no matter what country some one is from, if they are getting married to a moroccon, it is very normal, traditional and expected to give the man or woman accommodation (i.e: the bride/grooms house) to live in while the marriage process is taking place? and not to allow them to stay in a hotel. it really has woken me up, please forgive me for asking but are you male or female,  sorry I cant tell by your name, are you born in UK or Morocco?

my friend, we have taken everything into account, and the conclusion has all been the same. a scam, pure and simple. one person in fact already guessed correctly that u are either pakistani or black. and here now u tell us thats indeed right. so what does that tell u? and he already broke it down bit by bit and showed u how its a scam. marriages of convinience are popular all over the world. im sorry to say it, but its people like u who they target. she says she loves u? she "loves" u, but none outside of her immediate family know that u even exist? she has kept u a secret, i mean, i dont know about u, but someone who loves me doesnt hide me away from others like dirty laundry. thats what u are to her, and cash machine. are u not ashamed? where is ur pride?

You would normally be lodged at a male relative's house. It's a disgrace that you were stuck in an hotel and that you were hidden away. This is because you are Pakistani and they are ashamed of you. I thought this might be why they kept you away from the family.

She doesn't love you. Get that into your head right now. You are a wallet on legs for her and her disgusting racist family. Indeed, she's a racist too. Get out of this NOW.

I don't know what more to say to you. If you want to be bled dry of every penny, carry on. If you want to retain some money and self respect, then cut off all contact, don't reply to emails, phone calls, letters. She will beg and scream, ask you what she did wrong, tell you that she loves you. It's all an act. Stand firm for a while and then you will see the real face of these scumbags. The threats will start. They'll send a relative in the UK to "get" you, they'll have you done for rape so you can never come back to Morocco, they'll never give you a penny back.

Just get out now.

If there is one further piece of evidence to convince you that they are ashamed of you and that you are simply what they consider a cashpoint, have a look at this video. You should have been sitting on a similar throne with your new wife in front of guests.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91PWOHq0-HY

hi ,

many thanks for the video. I think there may have been a slight misunderstanding. I understand this vedeo is demonstrating a moroccon marriage party. But the thing is  hadnt gone that far yet in the marriage process. My situation had only gone as far as having all the marriage documents, prepared translated in arabic, and verified by the court, because time had run out while I was in Morocco, and I had to return to the UK the next day, I was unable to go to the adoul office to sign for the nikka papers.

I mean, would this not have probabaly happened with me any way If I did decide to go ahead with the marriage?

BeHappy786 - Evening,

Lets get straight to the point & not waste time, and be honest about this. When you opened this thread, what did you want to hear? What were you hoping for from the replies?

I will tell you exactly what I think. I believe you were hoping for someone to clear away all your doubts about the relationship. Deep-down, you know it's a scam. You don't need anyone to tell you that. Otherwise you wouldn't of opened this thread. But you hold on the hope, that it could, somehow, still be real. That we could change it around for you.

This reminds me of some contestants on Dragons-Den, which I'm sure you've watched. Someone comes in with a business that isn't doing well at all, but they've invested a lot of time & money into. They come in with the hope, that they will get the miracle they need to change it around, in this case, much needed investment, and a Dragon on board. Needless to say, they don't get any offers, because it's failing, and heading to complete failure. The Dragons can see that, and they too, if they are honest, can see it, but because they've sacrificed a lot of their own money & time building it up from scratch, they don't want to admit it's best to drop it and walk away from it. Because it's not easy to give up on it, due to the amount of time invested. The sensible ones accept it and move on, looking for new & better ideas to spend their time & money on, while the less sensible continue to lose more and more money, until they are forced into a position where they have no other option but to put an end to it, which they should of done earlier.

If you don't see my point, I will tell you it. You are heading to disaster. Fortunately you have the option to decide now, whether to be sensible and end it, or to continue in the relationship, losing more money and time, until you reach a point where you realize, it's not what you want out of a marriage, and forced to divorce.

Accept the 3 years as wasted. Look for someone else. There are better people out there who are more worthy of your time. Don't waste time on something that is clearly not working and only will be costing you more time & money. We are not going to throw you a lifeline, by convincing you it's real, and that your doubts are all based on misunderstandings. They are not. You're not mistaken in the belief that the things that happened, shouldn't happen in a genuine Moroccan marriage. There really isn't anything to discuss. It does make you sound desperate that you still want to cling on it. Maybe you have self-esteem issues? Quite clearly you lack confidence in yourself. I think if you work on those things, and regain some self-respect, then you wouldn't continue for another second.

If you are still not convinced, I tell you what, spare us a thought, put us out of our misery, bugger off and marry her.

Heed that post from xb

OK, you didn't get as far as the party, thank goodness. You should still have met all of the friends and relatives though and you should have been put up by a male relative. Relatives meaning cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins and the rest. It's a terrible thing to say, but a Moroccan would have met them.

You have time to quit,

Do so.

Hi, XB23,

Thank you for your input.

I understand what u have said.

of course the idea of coming on to this blog 8s to get  a true genuine understanding of my experience with opinions and point of views from people of the country of Morocco itself.

Which of course I have do now quite clearly, and I have nothing more to dougbt. its only normal that every angle is looked into when discussing a subject like this.

well, to be straight, I had already decided to quit a while ago, and for some reason I have never been happy or confident about the relationship since I returned from there last year

Look, it doesn't take an expert to tell you this:

If Something doesn't feel right it probably isn't.

You're stuck in a hotel. Her family, apart from her parents, sisters & brothers, don't even know you are there, let alone that you exist. The nephew that was "sick" and "required" an urgent financial assistance from you, did you meet him for a start? You're in a hotel and no one even knows you're there, when they all live in the country.

No doubt, the plan is, to once again, fly there, book yourself quietly yet again in a hotel, meet her in the court & Adoul's office the following day, and sign on the dotted lines without any fuss. How romantic!

well to be straight, I dont exactly have any intensions of going after having read this, and due to what my gut insticts have beenetelling me since last year. Its all about getting as much views and opinions as possible from different people mainly from the people of Morocco, so that you then have a relatively clear understanding of what your position is.

So what is your position?  :)

hi, xb23,
well its highly unlikely this is going to go ahead

hi there primadonna,

thank u for your reply, on this blog,

I would like to ask u something in particular,

Oh dear. "Highly unlikely"?

Please don't fool yourself. It must NOT go ahead. If you leave the slightest doubt in your decision, then when the emails and phone calls begging you to reconsider start, you will weaken and give in yet again. She'll say, "Oh what did I do wrong?", "Let's make a fresh start", "I'll be the perfect fiancée in future", "My family loves you so much", "This would break my poor old Gran's heart, after all, you saw her, she loves you". And so on and so on.

Please tell us it WON'T go ahead.

behappy786 wrote:

hi, xb23,
well its highly unlikely this is going to go ahead


You still haven't made up your mind, when the scam has been made very crystal clear, because she is still talking to you, isn't she. And telling you how much she loves you.

I tell you what. A flight to Morocco is cheap, and only 3 hours away. Since the only thing left is signing the contract, go on, book your ticket, book your hotel, and you will be done in a day, and no more discussion. What are you waiting for?

Ticket: 

I would recommend EasyJet.

Hotel:

Try booking.com

Adoul's Office:

No idea where she lives, so ask her for the address.

What to take:

Cash. And more of it.

What not to take:

Your brain.

I might not have the chance to say it later, so will say it now... Congratulations on your marriage!  :heart:

behappy786 wrote:

hi there primadonna,

thank u for your reply, on this blog,

I would like to ask u something in particular,


There is nothing to ask. I've already given you details of what to do. What else do you want to know? Ask Laduqesa instead, he lives in Morocco, and will give you the information you're looking for. Once again, congratulations on your marriage.

XB23,

I understand everything clearly. as I mentioned, i was only trying to consider the experience from all different angles, which is always an important thing to do when considering a serious and important matter such marriage, and especially when I have invested a lot of effort, time and money in to it.

I have appreciated very much your advice and input.

But i haven't married her yet, so it was quite unnecessary to make the comment of congratulating me on the marriage, and telling me the steps I have to take to make the marriage happen, which I also know perfectly well with out you having to tell me this.

I have been very, very restrained. I haven't spoken my mind. If you want to really know how I truly feel about this scam, I would get banned for posting my opinion.

But it gets to the point, where seriously, someone needs to tell you, the bitter truth. Everyone here has advised you against it, and told you it's a scam. I'm sure your friends, and your colleagues have said the same. Yet, you for whatever reasons, still feel there is a need to discuss it, earlier with Laduqesa, and now with Primadonna. Have you noticed, some of the members who posted their comments at the start, have since left the thread? Because this thread isn't up for a discussion. All it needs is a one-word answer, like any other scam out there, and you've received it.

A scam is a scam. No discussion required. What is required, is leaving it behind you and moving forward with your life, and learning from the experience. I gave you the example of a failing business, where someone invests a lot more money, time and effort than you invested in this, and if they continue, it will only make matters worse for themselves. It's best to invest your money & time on something that isn't heading to inevitable disaster. You're lucky enough to be able to get out and put an end to more loss of time & money. Upwards & onwards.

You have still not made up your mind, so clearly there is every likelihood you will return, you didn't confirm you're not going back, hence why I'm congratulating you.

Hi again,

Sure thats fine.

I totally understand what you are saying.

May be it was just naivity on my part for having such faith in this relationship.

Some times it takes others to see and notice things happening around you, and to make you aware of them, which unfortunately the person who is involved them self are not able to see or notice because they are too distracted.

Any way no hard feelings and thanks for your input once again.

behappy786 wrote:

hi there primadonna,

thank u for your reply, on this blog,

I would like to ask u something in particular,


Shoot!

behappy786 wrote:

Hi again,

Sure thats fine.

I totally understand what you are saying.

May be it was just naivity on my part for having such faith in this relationship.

Some times it takes others to see and notice things happening around you, and to make you aware of them, which unfortunately the person who is involved them self are not able to see or notice because they are too distracted.

Any way no hard feelings and thanks for your input once again.


Evening,

I genuinely apologize if you have felt offended. Please don't be. Believe me, that is not my intention to offend you, and that I only want the best for you. I've read your story. It hurts to see people treating others like this. Taking advantage of those who are good-hearted, kind & generous. Unfortunately it's becoming ever more common. I hate scammers. I really really do. They only leave behind financial & emotional ruin & walk-off without a care in the world of what they've caused to an innocent person. So my anger, which may appear directed at you, is actually directed towards the scammer.

I'm not telling you what to do with your life. That's your choice. My comments are in an attempt to wake you up. You don't appear to be fully aware of what's going on, or the seriousness of the issue at hand, and the potential consequences, which can range from moderate to severe. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, needless to say. Why commit yourself, to someone, who is nothing other than a gold-digger with ulterior motives. I'm sure, that's not what you want. And I'm here, telling you that, as you appear to be blinded by "love" or under some sort of spell, as we in our community call it "black-magic" or "love-spell". Whatever it is, all logic seems to have been thrown out the window. You need someone to shake you up, I can't do that, and can only post on here. So that's why I'm replying to this thread. Wake up & smell the coffee. If it takes frank comments from me to wake you up, that's exactly what I've set out to achieve.

Whatever you decide to do next, I sincerely wish you the best for the future.

no worries,

I totally understand it wasnt your attention to cause any offence.

I can clearly see the idea was to make it clear to me the circumstances surrounding my situaton and the potential consequences.

by the way just out of curiosity, are you moroccon as well?

what do u mean by this? shoot?

behappy786 wrote:

what do u mean by this? shoot?


I know right. She sounds suicidal, doesn't she?

Lets hope I'm wrong. It means - ask!

behappy786 wrote:

what do u mean by this? shoot?


It's an horrendous American idiom meaning here ask me your questions immediately.

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