Moving abroad is a real challenge. Unfortunately, not everyone is conscious of this! People who have never travelled or lived abroad usually have a lot of misconceptions about expat life. So here are some of the most common remarks you should expect from people abroad or your friends and family in your home country.
You're always having fun
Sadly, expats are often mistaken for tourists, perhaps due to their looks and lifestyle. And yet, in most cases, it took a lot of efforts to become an expat. Those who have relocated to tropical or Mediterranean countries will identify more easily with this remark. "You're always on vacation!". Alas, little do they know about your daily routine. Between the bus or metro and work, you hardly find the time to buy grocery or prepare dinner since you are exhausted after a long day at work. Recently, you have been sharing some great photos on social media after visiting a beautiful place over the weekend. And messages start to kick in: "You're always having fun!", "You are lucky! ", or “What wouldn't I give to be in your shoes”. If only they knew how you could afford this, especially the savings and sacrifices you've made during the past few months. They wouldn't really feel comfortable in your shoes. So don't worry about remarks and criticism and try to make the most of every moment in your new country despite the many challenges.
You must be living a King's life
Many expats have moved abroad for better career prospects and higher wages. Obviously, this has required a lot of efforts, especially in terms of education and training. So they totally deserve the lifestyle they had been looking for. However, not everyone has the same reasons for moving abroad. For some, it has been a real sacrifice to stay away from their loved ones and trying to give them a better life, supporting their parents financially, trying to complete an old project, etc. Let's be honest: earning a good living does not mean that you can afford to eat out every day in a restaurant, travel every weekend or have a King's life. Considering your rent and bills, groceries, health insurance, transportation, school fees and other expenses if you have children, you might be very far from that lifestyle.
We don't do this here!
It can take quite some time to adapt to your host country and its culture. But being around people who make fun of you or don't find it important to support you can be even worse. It is common for expats to look for familiar things when moving to a new country. And this is quite normal. For example, you may find yourself in the supermarket looking for products that you're used to getting at home but are not available locally. There may be times when you order a coffee or a beer that you used to like in your home country. Or there may be habits and customs that you're finding it hard to drop, and people will tell you that "we don't do this here" and that "you have to get used to this now". It's quite normal to miss certain things, so don't be harsh on yourself. Maybe you should just make it more obvious that you're making an effort to adjust.
What language are you speaking?
As an expat, learning your host country's language will be a priority. And this can be quite complicated when you didn't know the language at all before moving abroad. It's not an easy thing to learn a new language and use a whole new vocabulary. You will find it hard to express yourself and, perhaps, to pronounce certain words. People will laugh at you, obviously, but don't take it seriously. You will often get confused between your mother tongue and the language you are currently learning. You may also find yourself speaking to your relatives in this new language that you've been practising every day. But even if they make fun of you, see it as an opportunity to teach them something new. They will thank you later.
You fled from your country
As an expatriate, you don't probably want to talk about what's happening in your home country every day, even if you're following the news. But people will want to make a conversation out of it or simply try to annoy you. And if it is a political, cultural or religious issue, in particular, matters can get worse. So expatriates are usually advised to avoid this kind of topics, whether it's about their home country or their host country. Stay neutral as much as possible and avoid expressing your personal views to people you barely know, even if you are very tempted to do so.
To trailing spouses: You must be bored!
So this is the mistake we should absolutely avoid! Trailing spouses are often underestimated. As the term suggests, these people have usually given up on everything to follow their better half abroad. In many cases, this implies significant sacrifices, such a quitting a job, leaving family and friends, etc. Once they have moved abroad, trailing spouses often feel discomfort, loneliness or anxiety. While one spouse spends long days at work, the other usually spends his or her time biting nails, stressed up about their future, wondering about their existence. So, there is no need to add more to their tension. As a trailing spouse, you can expect questions like "Don't you get bored?" Or "Do you ever go out?". But don't get offended. Instead, see this as an opportunity to do something meaningful, something you have always dreamed of. Starting a blog, or a new business can be a good start. Besides, you can talk about it to people and create a social or professional circle.
