Is this young Moroccan man playing with me?

If one person is funding the other and its not a sharing of funds its most likely not a true bonding
I know several middle aged English ladies who send money to young Moroccan beach workers only to find the guys have hundreds of ladies
sending them money.
Of course there are some very sincere
Moroccan people

Honestly, reading some of these stories is heartbreaking. But as there are multiple analogies for this statement, I'll just say there are two sides to every coin. Both parties are to blame. The naivety of individuals and the impracticality of not looking at the bigger picture.

Irrespective of the country or the society, when a place loses its values and morals that once made it gleam, corruption will take over. But ultimately, it is the older men and women who must remain vigilant and educate because young adults and teenagers won't change unless they have gone through the same experience or on the rare flip side, are mature enough to be always wary.

I'm not stating this applies to anyone specifically on the Expat site, but generally speaking, why are older women and rarely older men acceptable to younger men / women? Is it because of love? No, it actually isn't, because love can be organic or inorganic. Census and history shows us that, in extreme cases where there are large age differences, those older women and rarely older men just want to feel a sense of longing, a sense of being accepted by society or even for the first time - by this I mean being in an meaningful relationship and/or the potential to marriage. Marriage doesn't even have to take place to fulfil those criterion, because said people can say they are in a (long distance) relationship for X period of time and marriage on the horizon.

And let's be honest, after a certain age, women and men lose their desirability, so where does that leave them in terms of potential partners? Even older men and women? Perhaps, but so few and little to no chance in procreating. Similar age? I think older women and older men are wary of being with someone the same age because said people may have had past relationships that didn't work out (i.e., now divorced), so those older women and men who want meaningful relationship don't want to face that - there is also the factor of children existing or may be involved, which can always complicate things if you are ‘forced' to be a second mother so fast. So that leaves an abundance of young men (and rarely young women) for those older individuals.

I personally don't advice anyone to have a relationship with someone far younger than them unless it is in your home country or in person. Especially Maghrebi men. These cases are not exclusive to foreigners and do happen to Moroccan (and to a greater extent, Maghrebi) women, too, but you don't hear about it often because it is harder to evade accountability.

I've said this before in another thread, but I'll say it again. Don't let out your heart on the internet, no matter how charming an individual is. Meet them at least once in real life (video chat doesn't count) and look at what they do for you or don't do for you before you base your judgment about them. Women tend to be very good are identifying based on body language, so use that instead of being in a daze. Ask him/her scary questions about how they would react if something happened to your finances and analyze their answer to their lifestyle. Is it realistic? In my experience, many young Moroccan men fear commitment and will flea if the sound of children is mentioned. And finally, look a person's character, not their outward appearance. Ask them private questions like if they watch adult content or whether they would watch adult content with you (don't tell them your preference before you ask this question). The answer will either be truthful or a lie and it would be pretty clear.

I do think its strange when a young man wants a much older lady.
Also its very natural for a man to like younger ladies
But does a young lady want an older man for love. I think some do like a more stable and older man.
I do think where there is economic disparity people should think twice
About relationship

Hi,

So no one bats an eyelid when an older man dates a young girl..but the other way round is not ok?

Thats a very narrow minded view...and trust me a lot of older men also supply financial advantages to the younger girl..as they have already established themselves and can provide a better living standard..

Not all younger men want young girls, especially in Morocco, as young girls want babies (plural) and not every man is on the same page..they want a life before settling down and travel and the older the girl gets, the worse she is looked upon...

I don't think it's the matter of bashing the other way round.
It is another topic if the agreement is clear and the mature lady/gentleman wants to be in a "relationship" that is majorly based on exchanging, let's say, services and company.

Here there is bashing of people that know that the second person emotionally falls for them and is in love, but they are not themselves. Yet they keep the image of being in love as well just to get married and benefit from it. This will devastate the second person as (no matter how naive we consider it to be), they hoped for the real love and finally having someone next to their side.

To me, the first arrangement is not to be judged as both parties involved know what they are signing up for.
The second one I condemn.

I think that with a substantial age difference (hard to say precisely, let's say 8 years and more?) the person needs to be wary and well think of what they are getting into. Regardless of the nationality of the partner. It can be a true love story. But it also can be an exploitation. And the risk IS getting higher if someone is falling so hard for your whereas you cannot have proper dating, intimacy or just some life hurdles that you go through together.
Another thing is, what do you actually know of the person if you only contact online? You limit yourself very much to experiencing people behaviours. Behaviours that come to light only when you spend a lot of time with them personally. It is easy to be sweet, polite, understanding and loving when it comes down to write a text or throw a phone/video call now and then.
In my mind, the core personality and when we can evaluate if this person actually matches you, reveals itself in some every day situations or reactions you cannot hide as good in reality. And this is the problem in online long distance relationship like that. You simply don't know and need to trust your guts. It would be advisory to meet each other as much as possible before going for big step. Travelling by both people would be advised.

It may be that even a person is not a scammer, but how many times it happened that we thought we knew the person we are with and keep on dating or being in a relationship.  Then only after a solid time and perhaps even living together it resurfaces that once the struggles of real life hit, you are/aren't well matched to resolve them.

Another thing is, you need to ask yourself a question if you can get rid of the doubts eventually. Let's assume the person is genuine and hears you still think they might be a scammer. That would be devastating to them as well. Also, it may happen that the second person actually will have troubles moving or finding a job for a while. Especially in covid recession times. Will you be a supporting partner? or the gloom of a thought "ah yeah, I should have known, (s)he might have actually wanted that. Maybe they just always wanted me to provide for them all the way?". Then no matter how genuine person is, these doubts will sooner or later blow up and make things worse in my opinion.

I wished people who are writing here their stories would come back to us and shared what was true or not :). Now when you read theym they only plant the seeds of suspicions, but no resolution.
It's like reading a book planting all possibilities in your head and then you see that the final chapter was torn out. You are left only with these thoughts what could there be.
And sadly, usually, people don't really go to the internet forums to spread the word how happy they are and how it turned out. They share the happiness with the close ones and that's more than enough. You mostly go to the forums to release the negative emotions like anger/uncertainty. So the stories or inner struggles that you need to let out of your chest but maybe you don't want your immediate social circle to be aware of.

Yes guys don't Marry if they can't have kids

🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂😂

***

Moderated by Diksha 2 years ago
Reason : Please use only English on the anglophone forum.
We invite you to read the forum code of conduct
Dougherty Olivia wrote:

Yes guys don't Marry if they can't have kids


Sshhhhh. That's supposed to be our secret. Those older white western women dating/talking to young men are not supposed to know this fact. So please. But on a serious note, it is refreshing to hear this from a white western woman.

***

Moderated by Diksha 2 years ago
Reason : Please use only English on the anglophone forum.
We invite you to read the forum code of conduct

Yes, yes and heck yes!!
I married a Moroccan man.
Don't do it. He is playing.

Yes, he is playing with you. He wants to get out of Morocco. Don't fall into the trap that I did.
He is the most loving man as long as be is in Morocco, but as soon as you marry and he gets in your country, he will ignore you and reject you. He will also show just how lazy he is.
They are handsome, but they are as romantic as  broom.
Trust your instincts. S
DONT DO IT!!!

What is his name

Sorry I  just ask to see if I know him

What is his name maybe I know him

If his name is Badr then yes, douche canoe 100%

And most Moroccan men will marry if a white western can't marry. I can still have kids and my partner who's Moroccan accepts if I can or if I can't so let's not stereotype all Moroccan men

MissDia02 wrote:

Hello, I am from America. I am in Morocco now because I am marrying my Moroccan man. Let me know how it is going with your Moroccan man. Mine is 27 years old and I am 34 years old. I pray that he does not play me. I feel that he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life. Most of Moroccans are good at lying and playing games. If their Moms always be around them and their loved ones and are trying to control them or doing something like that, that means they just want them to get visas or money from their loved ones for supporting them and their families. Mine is not but I have to watch their moves and read their body language since I am deaf and I can't hear.


That's not nice. Lol

I met a Moroccan man on Instagram.

He is 35 I am 56. I have told him I am older his reply is age is just a number. We've been chatting for 9 months now and have alot in common during this time I have spoken to his mother, brother and sister. He has told his mother he loves me and wants to marry me. I do love him but its the age gap that worries me. Any advice


When I was 35, my mother was 55. At that age, I looked at my mother and everyone else as old looking. God forgive me, now. Use your common sense. If he can support you and himself and has his own house, then maybe his feelings are true. If he hasn't and financially struggling, then it's fake and looks at you as way out. Just my opinion as a man.

@claudia576 I really like your opinion 

@Yahya411 
Thank you for your advice 
Your right it makes sense 

@jaharmani good movie

[link moderated]



@soufiantahiri4 thanks

@itsmebtches22 What is the name of this Movie you say is good

Is his name Badr Laaroussi from Fes?
@jaharmani
Let's your heart guide you and you will find the right answer
I'm sorry sister he is definately playing you ! I am Moroccan but was raised in Europe . Moroccan guys that are well off  don't usually do this nonsense because they don't need to. But those who are struggling because of lack of opportunities in Morocco or not well off do anything to find the naive person from Europe or USA to charm and manipulate them to get out. Once they are out they show their true colours without even pretending! They know us Moroccan women raised outside know their games so they look for those who don't know them well to possibly have a successful manipulation plan ! So watch out and don't get yourself in mess . It can be one big regret of a decision . Follow your head and gut instinct , not your heart in this case 😁
As a moroocan man i feel sorry to hear about this story -and you're not the first or will be the last -but dosn't mean that we are all the same or we have the same attitude the answer is NO of cours ,bad persons are everywhere so don't take judgements just because you saw a bad behavior from someone ..europeens and americans are not angels too ..so don't make all egges in one paket ..
Hi Everyone

I know it is a post from a few years back, but how did the relationship go with the Morrocan man.  I am in a similar situation where the man is 17 years younger than me.
Are you sure all are like this?
Even if the guy is genuine, you will need to have a serious discussion with him regarding his faith. Is he very religious?  I am (british) married to a moroccan man. We were in our 20s when we met. We've been married over 30 years. It is coming to an end though. In the beginning he wasn't very religious. However, he is now! Because he is getting older and worried about going to hell. I think this is not uncommon. Over the years he has put pressure on me to convert to Islam. I've even been to the mosque on several occasions, but I am not going to convert to please anyone. Moroccan men can be controlling. I've seen this trait in my SILs husband too and many others. Be very careful. The cultural and religious differences are huge.
@Wise lady

did you say your marriage is coming to a end after 30 years??? I would love to connect with you more (and anyone else) about this topic. Im 30 my moroccan bf is 29 we met almost a year ago via social media im american 🙈. ive been to morocco to visit I LOVED IT he doesn't he loves his country but wants more freedom. we've been arguing about everything lol religion, residence, and cultures. i trust him and everything its just soo many differences sometimes im like what am i doing!
and just fyi to everyone i hate the term "moroccan bf" lol like who talks like that? but just to give everyone proper details and context lol 🙈

@act2373 I been married 2 months with this guy from Morroco we talked 2 years and after I came back to America he changed  totally I see his real side bit is too late I married him in Fes Morocco and now I dont know what to do

You took him to usa?
@Maria Valladarez

i am so sorry to hear that! 😭 me and this dude have not talked that long maybe a year but we are in no rush atleast for any marriage plans, and we dont plan on living in the USA idk if that matters much tho! but im definitely sorry your situation isnt working im scared about that too tho!
@jaharmani
How many times have you met him in person? And his family? It sounds like it's all online.  Take at least a couple of trips to Morocco for a couple weeks at a time .  Meet everyone. Do things together. Get a feel for it.
I've been married to a Moroccan (Tamazight) man for 8 years now. we've had our ups and downs but in general things are fine. I went to Morocco twice before I decided to move there. We have a huge age gap as well 40 and 66. I am currently back in The States, because of COVID restrictions, but I will be going back there soon.
I would encourage you to take at least one long trip there. Meet his family, his friends, see where they all live, etc. Good luck!

@aitsaadanezakaria1 no

No not yet