Contact requests

Sister, it’s just as bad for us guys. I’m always getting contact requests from women, wanting to get to know me!!!

Goldkhalifa wrote:

Sister, it’s just as bad for us guys. I’m always getting contact requests from women, wanting to get to know me!!!

Well good luck with that lol 😂

You're absolutely right.  I don't know what can be done about it, but it's super annoying.

happygirl412 wrote:

You're absolutely right.  I don't know what can be done about it, but it's super annoying.

I am hoping the admins step in and start organising this forum a little bit or i will close my account, i have been members for years but recently its out of control🤦🏻‍♀️

Hello sarasmum,

Unfortunately there is nothing admin can do about it. To prevent this typ of behavior they have already mentioned it in forum code of conduct "Please keep in mind that Expat.com is not a dating or matchmaking service. Do not post forum topics either seeking or offering a romantic relationship." 

A forum is a forum, anyone can be a member but people should have some dignity on them. Just ignore them or you can go to privacy and setting section and do some changes there so you do not get those requests direct to your mail. Cheers!

If you get a request via your in box message system just click on 'actions' at top of the message, then 'block this user'.

Ditto to above..

sarasmum wrote:

happygirl412 wrote:

You're absolutely right.  I don't know what can be done about it, but it's super annoying.

I am hoping the admins step in and start organising this forum a little bit or i will close my account, i have been members for years but recently its out of control🤦🏻‍♀️

The various team member ban all the sex pest we see on the forums but we can't access your private messages unless you authorise it.
To let the moderator team see the problem messages (but none of the others), hit the report button.
That sends the message to the mod team and they'll consider the problem.
Sex pests are always removed from the forum.

Please help us to get rid of these very unwelcome members by reporting their messages, private and on the open forums.

finnbo wrote:

Hello sarasmum,

Unfortunately there is nothing admin can do about it. To prevent this typ of behavior they have already mentioned it in forum code of conduct "Please keep in mind that Expat.com is not a dating or matchmaking service. Do not post forum topics either seeking or offering a romantic relationship." 

A forum is a forum, anyone can be a member but people should have some dignity on them. Just ignore them or you can go to privacy and setting section and do some changes there so you do not get those requests direct to your mail. Cheers!

Hello sarasmum,

As finnbo has suggested, the only way to not receive these unwanted messages and contact requests  is to make some changes to your account settings.

You can access them by clicking on your avatar on the top right hand side, you find will find ''Account Settings'' at the bottom of the drop down menu.

On the ''Account Settings'' page, scroll down to see the options ''Enable private messages system'' to set it up to ''Contact only'' and ''Disable contact requests system'' for which you shall choose ''Yes''.

Also, as Fred has already mentioned, please report any unsolicited private message you might have received or suspicious profile to the Team, we will look into the matter.

Thank you,

Diksha

Team Expat.com

I agree with you Sara. This was/is supposed to be an Expat forum but it is more and more a forum for anyone living in Morocco.
This is not a racist comment, just a comment on the main reason I, and other expats I know, seldom, or no longer, use this forum.

I just ignore and move on. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff 🤔😁

Keep smiling

Ali

I couldn't agree with this more, DougElliot.  This thread is my first interaction in a couple years for these very reasons.  It's really a shame that this site isn't a better resource for expats in Morocco.

I get them too but just block or deny contact.

Cathylesher wrote:

I get them too but just block or deny contact.

Block? absolutely, but also report so they can be banned and other people don't have to worry about at least that sex pest.

I know how to block and deny requests,its just exhausting and i dont have time or patience for that, the whole idea is to limit locals membership since this is forum is called expat.com or am i wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️
There is no point of having thousands of members if they can’t contribute!?
Most contact i get is people who just open an account so they can « hunt »
I am hoping admins to give a good clean to the forum.

sarasmum wrote:

I am hoping admins to give a good clean to the forum.

A fine hope, but it's hard to make it happen unless members help out by reporting sex pests and whatever other scammers, spammers, and general pains in the bum message you.

We had a big clean up on the Vietnam section a while ago, that working well because the members were pretty great about helping out.

Give us a hand - hit that report button on any stalking/spamming/scamming PMs, posters with friends requests you feel are inappropriate, or forum posts you find objectionable.

While l see the argument on all sides, l just block requests that are inappropriate. I don't think it's possible for the admins to police bad behavior on this site!

On the other hand we can not block all requests as this will block other expats from contacting you.

I have had other expats not just my fellow Canadians contact me on this site. So it's not realistic to block everyone.

Cheers,

Ali 😎😁😎

Fred wrote:

sarasmum wrote:

I am hoping admins to give a good clean to the forum.

A fine hope, but it's hard to make it happen unless members help out by reporting sex pests and whatever other scammers, spammers, and general pains in the bum message you.

We had a big clean up on the Vietnam section a while ago, that working well because the members were pretty great about helping out.

Give us a hand - hit that report button on any stalking/spamming/scamming PMs, posters with friends requests you feel are inappropriate, or forum posts you find objectionable.

Thanks  Fred for all your efforts.

ITS-ALI wrote:

While l see the argument on all sides, l just block requests that are inappropriate. I don't think it's possible for the admins to police bad behavior on this site!

On the other hand we can not block all requests as this will block other expats from contacting you.

I have had other expats not just my fellow Canadians contact me on this site. So it's not realistic to block everyone.

Cheers,

Ali 😎😁😎

Hi Ali
No one said we should block everyone,
My message is clear and i think few ladies and even men here undertood excately what i meant.
Cheers

I'm glad you have raised the issue.  I used to enjoy this site when expats helped or gave first hand advice when people raised issues or had problems. Now, with so many locals on the site, my friends have stopped using it.
Hope admin takes note and resolves the issue, but I believers all about the number of members, as the more members they have, the more advertising revenue they get.  Although if their sponsors took a close look at the demographics, they may well stop advertising.

This is a problem that is not just restricted to the Morocco forums but is endemic across most forums in the wider Middle East as well.  Most culturally segregated societies face this.

As others have said, hit the report button.  People do get blocked and banned.   Most experts in different geographies do this but we can't cover all the posts and neither can the mods.  In an average week, I report dozens of posts / do bans but private messages / friend requests are not visible to anyone.  Therefore, as Fred says, help is needed from everyone on this.

Yes. It is very good that sarasmum raised this issue. But the question is how admin can resolve the issue by themselves? As some senior members emphasize only way to handle this issue at least to some point is other members get involved in it and help the team.
The team can ban an account or take other actions against an user but then it is only a matter of time this immoral user be a member again with a new account, with a new email adress. What can the team do about that?
It is all about self respect, When a person choose not to respect him/her self creates a social problem. This is what it is. How can admin resolve a social problem?

The duff users are usually IP banned so they have to sort out a new connection or use a VPN.
That doesn't stop determined sex pests but it gets rid of the vast majority.

Silence is the ultimate weapon of war !

Heart Collector wrote:

Silence is the ultimate weapon of war !

In the Arab culture they say silence  is a sign of obedience

Lol

Why should we keep quiet?? Abusers fraudsters non expats really need to be deleted or action taken as is a form of harassment and bullying.
Is not tolerated in any country

sarasmum wrote:

Hi
I am getting lots of contact requests from local moroccans, this is an expat forums and i would like the admins to do something about that, messages from guys seeking marriages etc is getting really annoying, i am moroccan my self originally but lived in europe all my life so no need to comment on how racist etc this post might be  but again this is for expats only and not locals.
Admins please stop the invasion as we are lost in messages and contact requests.

Hi Sara.

I get your point, and I understand your frustration. To be honest when I was young, I used to be the first to attack chancers wherever I found them online - on forums, social media, chatrooms, and other sites looking for their victim(s).

But I've toned it down over the years. Immigration was a big topic at the time (still is), and I took an interest in it. One of the questions I would ask anyone who cared to listen, as I was curious about their views on marriages of convenience to circumvent the tough visa requirements- "Would you marry anyone, if you lived in a developing country, to move to a developed one?" - To my surprise, all the replies I received were the 'err uhh duh of course' type without a moment of thought.

Honestly, if you had a bleak future in your country Morocco, would you marry to move to a more developed country with better prospects? Would you use the internet to look for a way out of your less than ideal conditions?

I probably would, and I reckon you would too, do the same as those you speak about, if you were in the same situation. I've learnt it's easy to criticize others until you've lived in their shoes for a while. So I've calmed down. If someone tries to use me, I don't get as annoyed as I used to. I just delete/block, and move on. That could have been me if I was in their situation. So I sympathize a little now.

I don't...no one should ever make another feel they love them if they don't and no one should use another for their own purposes this is morally wrong and playing with peoples hearts ..people get heartbroken ...Wrong in all aspects

how about this option

I mentioned the morality comment once when discussing this topic with a women who did and also new many women from her country that marriage people preventing to love them, but just did it for the money and immigration options and the answer the person gave was truly thought provoking.

Her response was, "Morality only benefits those who are not poor". 
If I objectively think about this I understand it.
Some people are born in to life with horrible disadvantage.
They see other people born in to easy lives or really great lives.
Does the world "REALLY" care about the poor?
If it did there would not be so many people suffering while other people live in extreme gross wealth.
So if you look at things from that perspective how can we really blame someone from trying to move up in live when they feel so desperate.

At the end of the day each person rich or poor needs to seek out their best interest in any situation they embark on and then take accountability for our own actions.

Lynn1964 wrote:

I don't...no one should ever make another feel they love them if they don't and no one should use another for their own purposes this is morally wrong and playing with peoples hearts ..people get heartbroken ...Wrong in all aspects

First of all, you don't sympathize because clearly you're still hurting after being used. You're upset at what happened. So I'm not surprised you don't sympathize. This is expected. Secondly, you're not living in a developing country. It's easy to talk about what is right and wrong when you're living comfortably, and not faced with the suffering others face. Who knows what you would do if you were going through hardship. Maybe you would do the very same to get out of that situation and improve your quality of life. Very easy to say you wouldn't when you're NOT dealing with it. Thirdly, scams are everywhere in Britain where you live. People use others even when there is little to no justification for it. Big deal. I got cheated out of a considerable amount of money in England. I had very little experience in investments and business. I naively trusted people. I thought this is England, they won't do that to me. That they are honest and decent. But they do. I don't blame the English or anyone but myself for this. People lose, people win. This is life. I lost, you lost - get over it, and move on. Learn from that lesson, as I did. I haven't lost a penny since. And I'm sure you are unlikely to be used again. Isn't that great!

Sometimes the content of a post is not what the author really meant. I hope that is the case here.

"If a person thinks that he/she is living in a low standard life, it is ok for that person to cheat another person who is living in a high standard life, to get to the country that high standard level person live in."

And what you say to the "victim" (person who has been cheated) is this

"Try to look the situation in cheaters point of view, cheater had a reason to cheat you. Get used to it and move on."

One thing is to think that we all may do what ever it takes to survive but to justify an immoral act is totally another thing. Drag down the level of peoples thinking is the result of that typ of justification, wrong will be right, immoral will be normal over the time. That is what has already happened and that is why OP had to start this tread.

Reading this stuff posted on this forum really makes me wonder why so many people lack street smarts.  If you don't look out for your own best interests the world will chew you up and spit you out.

This forum also seems to be filled with mainly threads created by people asking the same question .... "How can I marry someone from Morocco".  No sure why people keep on creating new threads on the same topic rather then reading the previous numerous threads on the same topic.

I you read what I wrote before I deleted it ... lucky you.  If not I might have just created my own future next to zero cost start up business ; )!

Nobody contacts me so nobody loves me

Gags1 wrote:

Nobody contacts me so nobody loves me

🤣🤣🤣

The answer is simple, the forum need an option of deactivating message and friend request or who ever send alot of request will be banned for a month  sending friend’s request . Although i am against this it’s just a vittual world and people try to get to know each other by adding and message 😁

The forum has an option for you to report such posts or messages. If you have a friend request open it and then a panel appears underneath the request.
You can accept, reject, or block the person. 

If you get a message there is a box marked "actions" above the message. Open that then select which option you need and then click on it.

finnbo wrote:

Sometimes the content of a post is not what the author really meant. I hope that is the case here.

"If a person thinks that he/she is living in a low standard life, it is ok for that person to cheat another person who is living in a high standard life, to get to the country that high standard level person live in."

And what you say to the "victim" (person who has been cheated) is this

"Try to look the situation in cheaters point of view, cheater had a reason to cheat you. Get used to it and move on."

One thing is to think that we all may do what ever it takes to survive but to justify an immoral act is totally another thing. Drag down the level of peoples thinking is the result of that typ of justification, wrong will be right, immoral will be normal over the time. That is what has already happened and that is why OP had to start this tread.

Errr... uh, what? You don't make any sense. No one is saying it's right to cheat others.

And it's interesting that these women like Lynn, from Western countries, when things don't work out with men of their own culture/religion/background, because of that mans behaviour, cheating and so on, they don't come online and talk about it all day long. Warning people not to marry men from that country/background. But when things don't work out with a man from a different culture/background/religion than themselves, they go nuts, come online and moan about it all day spreading negativity and hatred towards their ex-partners country and/or religion. How many threads do we see them starting or commenting on when it comes to things not working out with a Moroccan, Algerian, Egyptian, Tunisian, and so on? Heck, not content with posting on forums, they've even created their own websites to continue their warnings and moaning! Lol. I don't see much said when it comes to things not working out with men of similar background. Why? Because they accept it and move on with their lives. So I suggest they do the same with men from different backgrounds - stop the hatred towards their country and/or religion, stop spreading negativity, accept it and for your own sake - move on. Thank you.