Adjusting to life overseas.

tropicalescape · 2007-07-14T00:18:23+02:00

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tropicalescape Member

Member since 13 July 2007

tropicalescapeMember13 July 2007 22:18:23

Greetings,

Since most of you are hard core expats, you might not find this useful but a few months ago someone asked me what it is like to live overseas in the Caribbean. The following is the response I provided:

My wife and I have a bit of experience living overseas and adjusting to new places and cultures. We have always found that adjusting after a move comes in sort of three stages without any definable time limits because the stages are based on the individual. If you were to draw it out like a map the adjustment period might look like a rising peak, followed by a valley, and then leveling off to a coastal plain.

More specifically, the first stage is the honeymoon period, which is characterized by an irrational love of everything (both good and bad) that your new location has to offer. For example, the beaches are unreal, the folks here sure do drive crazy but thats ok Ill wear my seatbelt, or my personal favorite you mean you dont have any raisin bran in stock without bugs, boy thats great I love this place this must be one of those cultural differences I heard about before I moved.

The second stage, which can creep up unnoticed, is a complete one-eighty change from stage one and is quite easy to distinguish because you will now display a very strong disdain and hate for everything your new location has to offer. For example, what do you mean you cant fix my god dam electricity for two weeks!!!? Or, if I have to wait five hours to pay my phone bill again today I just might go insane and start banging my head against the wall to kill the time. And the favorite, you dont have any raisin bran in stock without bugs? I truly detest this place why on earth did I move here?

The third stage is the leveling off period where you find a balance between stages one and two. You will know youre in the third and final stage when, driving to the store to get the now ubiquitous raisin bran a cement truck coming in the other direction tries to kill you by running you off the road and you begin to shout expletives and lose your temper but then you rememberafter you stop at the store youre going to the beach and some friends that you talked to just that morning were digging out from another foot of snow.

Of course, the times vary greatly depending on the individual and their particular circumstance. Also, I will have to assume that some version of the same adjustment process is true for people who come to live in the U.S.A.

Certainly, I am not saying that this represents everyone's experience, just mine. I would like to hear how others have adjusted to life overseas.

Bob K VIP Member

Member since 25 June 2007

Bob KVIP Member14 July 2007 10:44:06

7675

Good post. We are just starting our second year in the Dominican Republic and definitely had all three stages though stage two was very short. However we are still looking for rasin bran with out bugs;).
Every day it gets easier to remember why we moved here.

Bob K

Julien Founder

Member since 11 March 2005

17 years of happy life abroad

JulienFounder14 July 2007 20:19:07

52747

Very good post indeed! All this is so true

zurich_expat Member

Member since 05 November 2007

zurich_expatMember05 November 2007 14:45:45

Good post - thanks

indinpj Member

Member since 24 April 2008

indinpjMember24 April 2008 08:08:21

Man, You must be an oracle!

Went through the exact same stages in Sri Lanka.

Now I am moving to Malaysia in May.

Will let you guys know how things work out.

Jess2010 Active member

Member since 10 April 2010

Jess2010Active member10 April 2010 22:35:37

Amazing post and so true!

Without even knowing anything about this, I referred to the first stage as the "honeymoon period". For me, it made a lot of sense because I really love the UK. I even came here having a feeling that if this didn't work, I wouldn't know where to go.

Next was a really strange period. I didn't seem to care anymore and coming back after Christmas didn't seem to make me happy although it was supposed to. It was just really awkward. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Things improved when I was seriously thinking about moving somewhere else for a year. Suddenly, I ran into loads of friendly people and I got to play a more important role in the clubs that I'm part of. It seemed as if lots and lots of opportunities were suddenly opening up. Maybe I'm stubborn or out of touch with reality but I refused to accept that I might not love this country anymore.

Now that I've travelled a lot in the UK to try and solve my little crisis, I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not going anywhere outside this lovely island next year. I was like fooling myself into thinking I might be moving just to say in the end: "Erm... it's not happening." I've just been to Scotland and now want to move some 100 miles further north. But that's all I want to do. I don't want to leave the UK - ever.

merrie New member

Member since 16 April 2010

merrieNew member17 April 2010 20:02:48

It sounds like ya are all experienced at this living out of your birth country. I have been trying to get an idea of the cost of living in Antiga. Maybe near St. John's or the southern end of the island. My husband and I are considering a move out of the US.Please feel free to send an info.
Merrie Lou

Ochando New member

Member since 10 June 2010

OchandoNew member14 June 2010 14:16:39

Hello,
I`ve lived in Mexico for the last 15 years (born in Spain, grow up in States) got married, have two kids, moving to Vietnam end of summer, does anybody have any good advice about schools, security, cost of living etc...
Regards

Julien Founder

Member since 11 March 2005

17 years of happy life abroad

JulienFounder15 June 2010 10:29:10

52747

Ochando, could you please post on the Vietnam forum ? Thanks

Minerva909 Active member

Member since 19 September 2007

Vivere non est necesse, navigare necesse est!

Minerva909Active member15 June 2010 15:29:57

#10

It is true the first time ( or may be even the second and third) but once you have moved to different places for a while you experience all the three stages at the same time: not necessarily at once, but on the same day: you may have a balance (between annoynace and enjoyment) when consuming your oversweetened oatmeal for breakfast at a local cafe, then enjoy - over the top, honeymoon style - the bliss of a powdery, protected beach and the beauty of nature... and then go to a grocery store and really, really hate not being able to get fresh vegetables in a tropical paradise, where they ought to grow like weeds, and having to resign yourself to buying overpriced tomatoes... imported from Canada! (as was my experience in Puerto Rico) ;-)

iamalrit Member

Member since 17 June 2010

All is fair in love and war

iamalritMember25 June 2010 06:07:22

#11

I think it all depends on the way you grew up. I've seen people who are very fussy about simple things and others who don't mind anything at all.

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