Nature of Turkish guy

I'm married with a Turkish man , and have a baby together. When you first get together they probably won't tell his family about you until he knows your sireous , ( he can see marriage in your future) most Turks don't date for fun , it's always with the idea of marriage. I would say after 1 year you would know if he's sireous about you or not. Wanting to introduce you to his family , both sides of the family meeting. Getting engaged. In the Turkish culture it generally goes from dating in secret to getting in engaged in a short amount of time. If you need any advice or Somone to talk to , feel free to message me

I'm also married to a Turkish man. It depends on the family but most people I met don't date in secret, especially men. If he introduces you to friends, family, coworkers I would say he's serious. It depends on how fast your relationship progresses but I would say if after a couple months of dating you haven't met any of his family (at least a sibling or maybe one or both parents) then maybe he does not see it as serious. And it depends on age as well. If he is young then maybe it will take longer to see if it is serious or not but if he's older, usually older men especially those over 30 are usually looking to get married so you should know fairly quickly if he is serious or not.

I think you're worried maybe he's not serious about you because you're a foreigner, but don't think that. Plenty of Turks marry foreigners. There are some bad people who like to date foreigners for fun and the novelty of it, but the majority aren't like that. If you search online you can see lots of Turkish- Filipino married couples.

Just give it a try and you look out for any red flags

The most important information I can give you is don't settle for anything less than what you want or deserve. There are too many good choices to make and this will be the most important choice you will make in your life. Total respect, trust, and love has to exist if you really want to have a long-lasting relationship. Take your time my friend do not rush into s decision until you are totally confident.

Good luck has nothing to do with it, but good luck.

Dennis

Hi!  I been dating a 30 yr old Turkish man.  Been seeing each other for a couple of months. We just share intimate moments at me place.  He lives with others, states he's not embarrassed to be with me and the relationship is more to him than just intimacy.  However as an American I see just breadcrumbs.  Second time meeting he has asked me to marry him.  Is this cultural dating for Turkish men?  Am I missing something?  I like him a lot and don't want to give it up but if he's not serious then I don't want to waste my time.

Hi Kate!  I just did a post on dating a Turkish guy. Been together for a couple of months.  We met privately but do not go out in public.  Is this a cultural thing?  As an American I see that he's just breadcrumbing me.  He states the relationship is more than just intimacy and is happy where we are.  Help.  I don't understand.

That seems like he's not serious. It's not normal in Turkish culture for men to date in secret. Also not normal to ask to marry you on the second date. If he was serious about you he would have introduced you to his family and friends. I'm married to a Turkish man and observed relationships Turks have, what he's doing is not what a serious and earnest man would do.

Thank you!  That's what I needed to know.

Hi guys. In this day and age of covid, I met my now fiancé online and he is Turkish. From Kusadasi. I've been 3 times to visit as it's far easier than him coming here right now but he is in process of visit visa to U.K. what I will say is we have been together 9 months. I have children from a previous relationship of 21 years. He is 40 and I am 43. He worked bar and hotel work most his life so never really settled down with anyone seriously. When I went over I stayed with him and his mum, she calls me daughter. I've spoken to his sister. His neighbours know me. He gave up bar work for me because we would fight over my trust issues, because of his lively past. But when I am with him I can see the real him. We shop together, walk together, it's all kind of new for him and he said his life changed when he met me. We are now engaged, he tattooed my name and I did his(crazy maybe but I love it). I still need to ask though, these are all good signs right? Meeting family and friends and talking with sister. He's told me his family back in village will buy me gold bracelets for when we marry and they all know me

Hi 👋  dating a turk for last 3 months in California. He told me he is not seeing anyone else or talking to anyone else but does not call me his gf.

His family is back in Turkey he has been married before as well and been divorced for 5 years now. He's been in America for the last 5 years and single, he's 42. I assumed I'd be his gf by now since we see eachother 3 times a week and everything is perfect.

How long do Turkish men date before becoming serious?

Should I ask him if he sees a future with me or is serious or wait longer? He's brought up serious topics like kids, future home plans, and living style and kids names.

I'm not trying to waste my time with any guy and he seems to enjoy his bachelor lifestyle here in socal.

Hello Ladyinsocal,

Welcome to expat.com!

If you've been dating him for the last 3 months, I would suggest you have a serious talk with him.

For a future together, it is important that both of you are on the same page.

More advice and suggestions of other members are the most welcome

Cheers,

Yoginee

Expat.com team

@honeylethreyes27

mid he wants sex in first week then - guess what he is just sowing seeds in your garden

I doubt he will be your permanent Gardner

@fireflowermk - for your sake I hope he is the real deal

if you already have trust issues from his lively past - then expect that the leopard does not change spots at that age -

does he have a job or you are now sponsor to him - if yes then - you are just his menu and the way to pay

if he has not got a job then you have the wrong guy

@bill30 he has been in the usa for 5 years and is successful with a well known company and has a green card already before I met him....

@Yoginee thank you!  We did have a chat last month that he stated he's only seeing me and there's no one else and he said "I thought it was obvious" (since we see eachother so consistently and was there for my birthday and met my friends and birthday gifts).

But he still likes to go out with his single friends to places I would consider are meat markets out here once a week for a fun time which bothers me. He mentioned this last weekend if i was considering moving i should move into his apt building (closer distance)...but he didnt say move in with me. So it's just hard to tell if he wants to be a bachelor 😕  for a while.

@Ladyinsocal  good start -

Hi guys help me out here,

I've been dating a Turkish lad of 30 for 4 months now, I'm 37 and we see each other 2-3 times a week for Dates out and sleep overs and I've met some of his friends. I'm starting to get feelings for him but I'm so scared to tell him in case I scare him off…. I know he is starting to get feelings for me by the way he treats me and he calls me “My love” even in front of people. I'm just unsure how to approach it…. Do I wait for him and just let things progress naturally. 

@R_yav31 have a talk...I had this "serious" talk with mine in Aug and this month. Gave him chances to be honest, caught him in lies last week and he tried to turn the page and say his feelings were different all off sudden. It's because he knew he got caught in a web of lies and seeing someone else behind my back. Definitely dont waste time we broke up because he was a liar and cheat.

@Ladyinsocal Good on you! Hope you find someone who appreciates you and treats you with love and respect ❤️

Hello Ladyinsocal,

Thank you for the little update.

I agree with N.maria, you deserve someone who would treat you with love and respect. Do not settle for anything less

All the best for the future,

Yoginee

Expat.com team

I met a turkish guy during my holidays in Istambul and I'm so in love with him. He was amazing, very sweet during the time we spent together. As soon as I left Istambul he stopped texting. Should I text him and tell him about my feelings or it is pretty obvious for him was just sex? I'm 38 and he is 32.

****

If he is not replying it means he is interested only physical relation ship

@Kate1818 Hiya, me and my turkish boyfriend have been speaking for a while now we met well i was on holiday. but i'm unsure of how to go about getting him to move to the UK to live with me. we both want to get married but not too sure how it all goes. could you please help me out with how you did it all. TIA x

He should probably with another girl now, so move on.

@Kate1818 would you be happy to email me? ***

@dncole4156 I totally agree with you

@R_yav31 what is his first name? This Turkish guy sounds like the one I have been dating.

@R_yav31 what is the first name of this turkish guy? I am dating a Turkish man, same age and also calls me “my love” - so just want to be sure it isn't the same man.

@Kate1818 my Turkish  man has told me that he has told his Mom about Me?????idont know  whether she will like me😔😔😔😔😔

Turkey's divorce rate is getting closer to 30%. Most of these divorces occur in bigger cities.  The top 3 Reasons for divorce is Financial, Family, and Faith.

Financial: What kind of job does he have? How long has he worked there? Is he good with money? Is he in debt?

Family: How does his family accept you and how does your family accept him? Once married can you agree how your children should be raised? How will you make a final decision if both of you can't come to an agreement?

Faith: Does he share the same moral standards as you?

Turkey is still a Muslim country that embrace ideologies and beliefs that govern these questions. If you can't agree with your boyfriends ideologies and beliefs it will be difficult to have a good marriage. His expectations for marriage is based on the culture he has experienced all his life.

It is still possible to marry a foreigner and have a great marriage. There is much more to be said about this subject, but your relationship with him must be built on a mutual agreement about your expectations in marrage.

I ment to include under the catigory of faith: faithfulness to each other. How do you know the faithfulness of an individual? Find out what his deepest convictions are and see how faithful he is to them. If he ignores his own convictions, this is an indicator of how faithful he will be to you. Another question to consider is how he treats his mother. Like I said before there is much more to this subject, but I think these are some basic things to consider when entering into a relationship. Hope this helps!

@N.maria

I e been with my partner 6 months now and I e met his sister and mother on the phone so is he serious with me

@Christinaasmr1 I want to know it too. The same age and calls me "my love"

@Christinaasmr1 It's the same for me. Met Turkish 30 yo on Tinder. We've been chatting for 2 months. I'm going to meet him for New Year's. He calls me "my love" as well

Gunaydin (please pardon the lack of proper punctuation - American keyboard)!

So I've been dating my 40 year old Turkish man for about 4 months; I'm 46. The first weeks were very intense where he was surprisingly emotionally expressive in stark contrast to past romantic interests so much so I mistook it for love bombing, having already experienced narcissistic partners. I decided to end the relationship until I realized that he's sensitive by nature and the intensity is cultural so I asked us to make up and we did, and here we are 4 months later.

As a testament to his kind heart, he did not turn me away despite the harshness with which I treated him during the two weeks I thought he was a potentially toxic partner. When I asked him why didn't he turn me away, he said never turn away someone who is walking towards you. I have not regretted resuming the beautiful connection we have rather I still feel guilty for having accused him of being toxic… He's forgiven me but does bring it up every now and then as a joke, which embarrasses me. I've shared with him how embarrassed I feel and he has stopped mentioning it but that doesn't mean he is over it. Will he eventually forgive me or do Turkish men hold a passive-aggressive grudge if they believe their honor has been insulted?

The main reason I'm writing is that he says he's divorced from the mother of his child who is 9 years old and when I ask him what happened between them, he consistently says he'll tell me later. I know there's the Turkish concept of events or topics that are unspoken and I shouldn't pry yet I can't shake the feeling that he's still legally married even if the relationship with the mother of his child has ended, which I believe to be true. Ultimately what I'm trying to ascertain is whether it even matters to the development of our relationship at this point where we communicate mostly through an app since his English isn't strong and I'm learning Turkish albeit slowly? If he is married, it's not like we have plans to marry even though I've told him I would happily marry him. He's adamant about making it clear he wants nothing financial from me. He's also prickly about me giving him gifts for Christmas and his birthday. He says all he needs is my heart. At what point is it making it clear to me that he does not seek to benefit himself at my expense and at what point is it machismo where he will not accept it because he's not providing it or paying for it (he's also a man of humble means)?

Tessekur ederim for any comments or feedback on anything I've shared in this post!

@honeylethreyes27 I was married to a turk once and I knew a lot of foreigners that were married to Turks, non of them together any more (including me).

They may be very romantic and caring in the beginning (even overwhelming) and quick to ask you to marry them, but as soon as you become "his" in his mind - they may become the opposite of caring and loving and turn into nightmare, also jealous, selfish and disrespectful to you. The may also have double and triple life and multiple lovers, Keep in mind in turkish culture they lie a lot (or lets say deceive you a lot and its almost normal), so everything they say - think that about 15% of that is true. Also keep in mind if you decide to marry him - you will be marrying his entire family. You also will find yourself alone through all your holidays like Christmas, bday etc, they don't really celebrate it. I found that unless you are from middle eastern culture (or some east russia culture) - the difference in culture is huge and people usually try in the beginning to ignore it and even to change themselves to stay in relationship, but true nature of each person soon of later will come out and when romance worn off - good thing if you don't have kids to fight over, cause you most likely won't be able to take them out of turkey, no turkish court will allow. My sister lost her son, because turkish husband stole him when he was 2 years old and hid him somewhere in his family village, The fixed divorce and paternity rights to his parents, without even inviting her to court, she never saw he son again, and eventually got sick and died over it. And when it comes to young turks marrying older european ladies - let's say husband can't wait when its time for wife to go.. So be very careful, alert and use your best judgment when dealing with such relationship.

@Kate1818

So i am serious about a turkish man .

But i am confused about him .

I want to let him go but i am having a hard time .

He is  a crazy turk and enjoys suffering and making people around him suffer . Especially me . I am hanging on to him and i kmow it cant be love anymore , he is a wrecking ball . 

I want to free of loving this animal ,

Whatever it is i feel for this guy is toxic and its killing me .

I adore him , he is not even cute , he is not the kind of man i really want , what can i do to really just stop feeling anything for this p.o.s.

I am suffering too much , and i dont kmow why .