Etiquette in non-business situations for Expats internationally

Greeting people in a non-business situation.

Ms. Musayeva, whom we here refer to as

Etiquette Coach, says that at a party or in

another non-business scenario, the first greeting

should be offered according to gender and age.

¨Men greet women and younger ones

greet elder ones.¨

  ---

Men must say hello first, Coach?

So is a single man at a party obligated

to be first to say hello if he finds himself

near a married woman not accompanied

by her husband?  Hmm, I don't think so.

I consider that a judgment call.

The younger person must say hello first

to the older person?  My grandparents

in New York were never waiting around

for me and my sibling to say hello before

launching into small talk.  If the difference

in age is not that much, how do I assume

the other person is younger or older

than yours truly?

If Person A's gender indicates that A

greets B first but the age difference

indicates Person B should greet first,

then. who says hello at the outset given

Etiquette Coach doesn't explain this

point.

I say it should be another judgment call

and nobody is obligated automatically.

cccmedia

Shaking hands?

In a video posted in late 2022,

Etiquette Coach says that if you enter

a lecture hall where everyone else

is already seated, ¨then you're the one

who has to greet everyone

in the room.... If you start greeting

with hello and a handshake, then you

have to go and greet every person

in that room with a hello and a

handshake.¨

---

Apparently, Etiquette Coach has

forgotten the worldwide Situation

that has pretty much taken

handshakes out of play, especially

if you enter a lecture hall with 100

seated strangers and somebody

sticks out their hand to you.

Are you then obligated to reach

across rows and aisles to initiate

handshakes and say hello to

every lecture-goer?

Wrong again, Etiquette Coach.

Not sanitary, not practical,

not intelligent.

cccmedia

Alternative methods.

So I'm throwing Etiquette Coach's

¨Golden Rules of Small Talk¨

out the window .. and here are

personal rules I offer as

an alternative.

One.  Be kind, while not feeling

obligated to greet everybody in

a crowded room with a hello or

Buenas Tardes, etc.

Two.  If somebody is there who

has treated you disrespectfully

in a previous encounter, don't

make a big deal about it .. and

don't feel obligated to offer to

shake hands or show another

form of deference to that

individual.

Three.  There are ways to include

others without shaking 100 sets

of hands upon entering a room

where people are already seated.

Give a general wave .. say

Hello, Everybody .. or just nod a

few times.  You are not

obligated to say hello 100 times

or to do every single move

recommended by Etiquette Coach

or anyone else who has published

an etiquette book or lectured about

etiquette internationally.

Four.  Smile upon entering the room

and be generally friendly.

Handshaking in this era is

strictly optional even when

it's the other personal attempting

to initiate that particular greeting.

cccmedia

Alternative methods.
So I'm throwing Etiquette Coach's
¨Golden Rules of Small Talk¨
out the window .. and here are
personal rules I offer as
an alternative.

One. Be kind, while not feelingobligated to greet everybody in
a crowded room with a hello or
Buenas Tardes, etc.

Two. If somebody is there who
has treated you disrespectfully
in a previous encounter, don't
make a big deal about it .. and
don't feel obligated to offer to
shake hands or show another
form of deference to that
individual.

Three. There are ways to include
others without shaking 100 sets
of hands upon entering a room
where people are already seated.
Give a general wave .. say
Hello, Everybody .. or just nod a
few times. You are not
obligated to say hello 100 times
or to do every single move
recommended by Etiquette Coach
or anyone else who has published
an etiquette book or lectured about
etiquette internationally.

Four. Smile upon entering the room
and be generally friendly.
Handshaking in this era is
strictly optional even when
it's the other personal attempting
to initiate that particular greeting.

cccmedia
-@cccmedia

CC: Thought this might fit into your suggestions

(Written by Alex Ferman)

What is the biggest lesson you learned that no one teaches?

    1. Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

    2. The easiest way to wait for something is to forget it exists.

    3. Leave, when a promise turns into a sorry.

    4. The worst type of loneliness is the loneliness you feel when you are with people.

    5. There are no rules of attraction when it comes to meeting your match.

    6. You don't need to compromise on your standards, the right person will come to you.

    7. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

    8. A toxic person only changes their victims, never themselves.

    9. A conversation about how you feel is not supposed to end in an argument.

    10.   Someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

    11.   You can be the whole package at the wrong address.

    12.   Facts over feelings. Don’t let your emotions play with your intelligence.

MAc

-

Top responses.

Numbers one and eight are excellent.

Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

A toxic person only changes victims, never themselves.