Is this normal for a moroccan married man?!?

I've heard of men like this (here in Morocco and elsewhere) but it's definitely not the norm!

Hi Jessie, Are his friends married or single?  I'm just curious. Actually that is not unusual unfortunately from what I've seen. But it doesn't matter if it's normal or not because it's something you've expressed to your husband that you're not comfortable with & he continues to do anyway. The bigger issue in my mind is him not respecting your concerns. It doesn't matter if all his friends do this, his wife doesn't like this and he should compromise.
I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I can completely empathize with you.~Mary

Hello ,
Moroccan men are not all like that , some men like to go enjoy time with friends to break the boredom specialy in the last month of lockdown  but not doing this , Your husband like to spent times with his friend because he is his bestfriend that have strong friendship relation but he need to understand that marriage have rules and need to stay close to you specialy your situation here with no familly and friends , you need to talk to him very seriously in a calm way and ask him and talk to him but not complain every time bec that will make him keep run away , i know its hard feelings to not complain but you need to make a decision talk or you will be in depression again . I hope things turn to be goid with you inshaelah . 🙏  ≈ soufian

***

Hi everyone! Thank you all for taking your time to read my post and help me. Your opinions and advices meant a lot to me. And actually, it WORKED. It took many hours of serious talk, I was hopeless because we have these conversations almost every week and it never leads to anywhere, we also had a fight but then we solved everything, he understood my point of view and is now going to spend more quality time with me ☺️ I guess we both just needed to be more open and honest in the conversations.. we are now better than ever and more honest. THANK YOU ALL! God bless you!

hkh m43 wrote:

I've heard of men like this (here in Morocco and elsewhere) but it's definitely not the norm!

I agree! Thank you so much for sharing your opinion. I really appreciate!

happygirl412 wrote:

Hi Jessie, Are his friends married or single?  I'm just curious. Actually that is not unusual unfortunately from what I've seen. But it doesn't matter if it's normal or not because it's something you've expressed to your husband that you're not comfortable with & he continues to do anyway. The bigger issue in my mind is him not respecting your concerns. It doesn't matter if all his friends do this, his wife doesn't like this and he should compromise.
I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I can completely empathize with you.~Mary

Hi Mary! You are absolutely right, and it was never my intention he stops seeing his friends but him ignoring my need to spend some time with him made me feel disrespected and like he didnt care. His friends are all single and either unemployed or freelancers so they have all the time in the world to go out, unlike my husband that has a job (online stores) and is married. Good news is that after lots of talking, some yelling too, we were so tired he was finally very open and honest about everything... and we sorted everything out. It was partially my fault I guess, he said he didnt feel like I want to be with him really.... just that I didnt want to be alone in the house. Now we are better than ever. Thank you for the help! I really appreciate!

touritox wrote:

Hello ,
Moroccan men are not all like that , some men like to go enjoy time with friends to break the boredom specialy in the last month of lockdown  but not doing this , Your husband like to spent times with his friend because he is his bestfriend that have strong friendship relation but he need to understand that marriage have rules and need to stay close to you specialy your situation here with no familly and friends , you need to talk to him very seriously in a calm way and ask him and talk to him but not complain every time bec that will make him keep run away , i know its hard feelings to not complain but you need to make a decision talk or you will be in depression again . I hope things turn to be goid with you inshaelah . 🙏  ≈ soufian

Hi Soufian! Thank you so much for your help, your comment was probably the most helpful as I have already tried to talk to him many times about this but followed your suggestion and tried to talk to him with a different approach, being calm, to not annoy him or make him feel like running away, my calmness didnt last long but we understood each other and solved our problems. We are now better than ever and going out and spending quality time! Thank you once again. God bless you all for your help!

You welcome Jessie 😊
Happy to heard that my advice helped you 🙏

I can understand a man wanting a little time away from home like a visit to the bar for a drink. Some men like freedom but in your case the freedom was excessive and causing you pain.
Some men do lead a dual life . I have had Moroccan men introduce me to their girlfriend saying their wife was at home cooking the dinner.
It's good that Touritox here has helped you.
I hope your depression has lifted.

Hi

It Only become normal if you allow it happen. Ask yourself some questions
1-  Why did you marry him?
2-  Why did he marry you?
3-  Why does he spend or want to spend more time with his friends instead of spending it with you?

Getting married is about growing up and spend more time with your partner and family. It's a commitment that is universal and spending more time with friends rather than your partner is NOT normal. I am telling this as a Moroccan with a British wife and who stopped his friends from distracting him from wife and his children. I hope that this helps and I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

Said

No it's not normal hes married
I have a friend she married a Moroccan man and he did this to her
What she did she went out and made friends joined women groups which took her time less at home alone the language was a barrier but she learnt French language to be able to get to know her new friends
Today she has told me that her husband has asked her to be home more ???
So what's happened is now her husband doesn't like her out and about .
He gets angry just to make her stay home but she has said until you start acting like a married husband then maybe i look at making outings twice a week
So now she has told her that married women should be a home due to her coming from New Zealand  she said no and will continue to have friends see to her groups until he decides to change if he continues then she said she will as well
I said to her they need to sit down and talk about what thos is doing to there marriage

It's all about putting your foot down. Only single people behave like this in morocco. Even Moroccan wife don't tolerate this kind of behaviour. There nothing wrong with going out with your friends ( both of you ) once a week twice at a push. Couples and families in morocco do things and enjoy each other nowadays more than our parents did. All you have to do is go out to a seaside day or night to see how people spend time with their loved ones. Woman staying at home in morocco nowadays is just a tool some men use to control their partners. There is nothing wrong with taking your partner with you to see and spend some time your friends either. Unless your are ashamed of your partner or up to no good. Marriage is partnership of equals as far as I am concerned.

Said

No it's not normal
If I was in this situation which am not
I wouldn't aloud my husband to be going out every night with his friends
It's a put control from thos husband when you marry it's a partnership not a single one
He goes you go you have no children to keep you home and if you did have children share and share alike that's what marriage is about

Hello dear love vichi,
Getting married a moroccan man is quite complicated (in general)

Relationships between people from different countries never works. Time proved this !!!

But it's finally my propre opinion.


Regards,
Amal,

Vicki is my  name not vichi
Your wrong  about marrying from different countries
I have a friend that married a Moroccan and she is from Italy they been married 22yrs
So were you got that from must be lies

Sorry then... Vicki (I made mistake)

And... Sorry for my opinion.


Regards,
Amal,

@Jessie29

Why have you put with this nonsense for so long?  Don't say ‘because you love him'!

4 years + in Morocco & no friends?  Any reason or aren't you ‘allowed'?

Do something on your own, build a life around your interests, and make friends instead of relying on him for everything.

Am assuming you're a Westerner, so no excuse for being a ‘downtrodden doormat'!