Understand and accept your feelings
A good place to start is acknowledging and accepting your emotions for what they are. There is a technique in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) known as radical acceptance. Radical acceptance implies that if you find yourself in a difficult situation, you should recognize and accept your feelings instead of trying to avoid them. So, if you feel homesick and lonely during the holidays, first, accept that this is how you feel. Next, let's think of the proactive steps you can take to address these feelings.
Find new ways to connect with loved ones
Many surveys available online will tell you that you are definitely not alone in feeling lonely. As many as 40% to 70% of respondents in these surveys admit to feeling lonely — especially during major holidays. If you are spending holidays away from your family and friends, the first thing you need to focus on may be somewhat of a cliche, but a useful one in this case: you are not alone. True, the circumstances of your holiday celebrations may be different, and your loved ones may be thousands of miles away — but what is spectating you is just distance (and, possibly, a time difference).
What you can do here is simply find new ways to connect with your family and friends. Yes, having a Zoom New Year's Eve may not be quite the same as being home — but e-celebrations have their own advantages. There are lots of ways that you can make this fun:
- take your family on an e-tour of your new destination,
- show them how the holidays are celebrated where you are
- organize a group video call during a shared meal experience
- have your family and friends share their experiences of their best and worst holiday celebrations, etc.
Remember, even though you can't celebrate the holidays the way you usually do, there is no reason to give up on a family celebration altogether. Get creative, involve family and friends, and organize a unique gathering you will remember for years.
Don't buy into the holiday guilt
Your feelings of homesickness, loneliness, and overall pre-holiday uncertainty are often related to expectations. You are expected to have a good time during the holidays. TV commercials, Hallmark movies, and mall decorations will make you believe you should be planning something grand this holiday season. And everywhere you go, people may inquire about your Christmas plans.
Do your best not to let commercial and other people's expectations ruin your day. Even if you have nothing special during these winter holidays, you can make this work to your benefit. This can be the time for you to slow down, spend the day with yourself, save up some money (that you would have otherwise spent on celebrations and gifts) — and lots more.
Focus on what you do have
Consider the value of embracing gratitude during your holiday abroad. It's easy to feel homesick, but shifting your focus to the positives in your current situation can be transformative. Acknowledge the unique experiences you're gaining, the new friendships you may be making, the new destinations within your reach, and, most importantly, the independence and personal growth you're achieving. This isn't about ignoring your longing for home but balancing it with an appreciation for the present. Embrace the new traditions and cultures you're experiencing. Such a perspective can bring a sense of fulfillment and joy, alleviating feelings of loneliness.
Create your own traditions
Living abroad is a great opportunity to create your own traditions. This can be a powerful way to combat homesickness and loneliness. Whether it's exploring local holiday customs, organizing a festive potluck with friends from different cultures, or even setting aside time for a personal ritual like a reflective walk or a special holiday journal entry, starting a new tradition can bring new excitement and meaning to the holidays.
Ask your family for care packages or send them yourself
Receiving a package filled with familiar items from home can be a tremendous comfort when you're abroad. It may be a good idea to reach out to your family and request a holiday-timed care package with your favorite snacks, photos, or small keepsakes. Our memories are all about the details — and, sometimes, a favorite chocolate bar or an old photo are all you need to jumpstart your holiday mood.
Alternatively, assembling and sending packages to family and friends back home can also be fulfilling. It's a thoughtful way to stay connected and share your new experiences with them, fostering a sense of closeness despite the distance.
Give yourself a gift
If arranging a care package from your friends and daily back home is not an option, take matters into your own hands. Sometimes, there is nothing better than gift shopping for yourself. After all, you are the one who knows yourself best. A self-organized shopping spree can be a great way to keep busy during the holidays. It may be a fun event to plan — plus, you can shop online and offline. You can also suggest this idea to your new friends and get together for a pre-holiday shopping adventure.
Plan a solo getaway
If you have time off work or study for the holiday season, it may be the perfect opportunity to spend time with yourself. You may want to plan a solo trip, enjoy a staycation in a good hotel, treat yourself to an international buffet or a spa retreat – and more. There may be very few occasions in the future where you will have the time and freedom to design your own holiday time. So, scope out opportunities to make this holiday season (or at least part of it) about yourself. Better yet, list things you've always wanted to do but never had the time. You can then use this as a base for planning your solo holiday celebrations.
Consider giving back
Volunteering for a cause you're passionate about is a heartwarming way to combat loneliness during the holiday season. Engaging in acts of kindness, like helping those in need, can instill feelings of love and pride. It's also a reminder to appreciate what you have and can connect you with like-minded individuals.
Being part of something bigger than yourself genuinely embodies the holiday spirit. Consider acts of goodwill in your community, such as helping the less fortunate shop for the holiday dinner or volunteering at a local animal shelter.
Summing it up
As the holiday season unfolds, embrace what you are feeling. Once you know what you are dealing with, you will be able to devise tools and coping mechanisms to improve your emotional well-being.
Embrace the opportunities to volunteer, focus on gratitude, and don't hesitate to seek support when needed. By taking these proactive steps, you can transform your holiday experience abroad into a time of growth, joy, and meaningful connections.
