Do not minimize the formalities
The administrative paperwork regarding marriage is not necessarily the most fun part of this adventure, yet it is more than essential. To ensure that the union is recognized in both your host and home country, you will be required to do everything in order and produce the appropriate documentation before and after the wedding. It will not only depend on where you are from and where you are staying but also on which continent you find yourself on! Because not all jurisdictions are the same regarding marriage, you should start by asking yourself the right questions: Am I eligible to get married, and what do I have to do to get married in my host country? It is not just enough to say yes and be in love! Obviously, there is so much more to getting married in another country.
On a positive starting note, you should be aware that if you are both of the same nationality, most embassies and consulates will be more than willing to organize a civil ceremony. This can make the process easier in some cases.
Be careful, however, of the type of marriage you opt for, whether it is a civil or a religious one! In some countries, religious marriage is equivalent to civil marriage, but this is not the case everywhere. Therefore, it is crucial to find out about the legislation in your host country and plan your union accordingly. It would be such a shame and waste of time to get married, only to find out later that it is not recognized anywhere!
As such, it is good to know that in European Union countries, civil marriage is a legally acknowledged formality to which religious marriage can be attached when the bride and groom choose so. In the same vein, it is also worth noting that in some countries where religion is considered as an intricate part of their social foundations, the right to marriage is strictly subject to state religion; like in Saudi Arabia, which only allows Muslim marriages, or in Indonesia, where atheists or agnostics are not allowed to marry. Keep in mind also that getting married in a foreign country is about confronting a religious culture that is different from what you know and are used to! This is the expat life, indeed.
As for the formalities, note that not only do they have to be planned beforehand but also taken care of after the wedding! But be patient, as all of them have a reason.
Before the wedding, you should first check the national legislation that applies to the marriage and the matrimonial regime, both of which will have very significant implications for your rights and obligations as spouses. It is also important to check the formalities to be completed in the host country and in the couple's country/ies of origin to ensure that the union is valid everywhere. Among the requirements, we especially need to mention the obligations regarding registration and publication of the banns.
After the wedding, you can have your marriage recognized in your country of origin if you wish. This process must be done according to the applicable rules and legislation. The consular office of your home country is likely to help you and notify you about whether it can be registered directly with them or if you must necessarily return to your country.
The good news is that if you are from the EU, your marriage is generally automatically recognized in all European countries.
The marriage contract is another issue that needs to be addressed. In some countries, it is mandatory, while in others, it is strongly recommended, especially for binational couples, and in some destinations, it is a very rare practice. So, again, consider bringing this up with the consulate, embassy, or authorities in your host country.
Consider checking the country's current legal age of marriage! Some states, such as Singapore, only allow marriage at the age of 21 without parental consent.
And lastly, note that some couples decide to get married outside their host country if the legislation is too restrictive for expatriates. They either choose to return to their home country to celebrate their marriage or to go to another country where the procedures are less cumbersome (as in Gibraltar).
What about the change of family name of one of the spouses?
Getting married also means having to deal with a possible change of name. In France, the United States and Japan, for example, the wife usually takes the husband's surname, while in Italy and Spain, each spouse keeps their own family name.
However, modernity being what it is, many legislations are more and more flexible on this matter, especially in Western countries. In France, for instance, it's possible to keep one's maiden name or to take both surnames to make a compound name. In Germany, on the other hand, the two future spouses will have to choose which name to use before the wedding date, and so in that sense, the husband can very well opt to bear his wife's family name if he so wishes.
Following a change of name, it is essential that you make it official with all the organizations where your former family name is registered. The change of name needs to be first notified to the local administration, such as the prefecture and other national agencies. As a matter of fact, the same procedure will need to be done for those of your country of origin. For guidance, contact your consulate or embassy.
You will also have to change your identity papers, especially by taking the appropriate actions concerning your passport, identity card, driver's license, and visa if you need to have one to live in your current country.
You will need to make sure that your change of name is reflected within organizations such as social security, health insurance, pension fund, tax department, banks, your employer and/or job search organization, your telephone and internet provider, postal services, your energy and water supplier, and any other service or organization that has your old last name.
Finally, notify all your contacts who may not be aware of your marriage, such as your doctor or the association in which you volunteer.
Inequalities in LGBTQ+ marriages around the world
If you're an expat LGBTQ+ couple, you should always keep in mind that marriage for all is not legal everywhere. In fact, there is only a small fraction of the world that gives everyone, including LGBTQ+ couples, the opportunity to get married and start a family. For the time being, the following countries have legalized marriage for all: the Netherlands (the first country to legalize it in 2001), Belgium, Spain, Liechtenstein, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland, Denmark, France, Luxembourg, Ireland, Finland, Malta, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, the United States, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Costa Rica, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Ecuador, Mexico and Taiwan.
Other countries like Hungary, Croatia, Greece, Estonia, Cyprus, Italy and the Czech Republic only allow civil unions.
However, many countries still prohibit and even penally sanction same-sex marriage, especially in Africa and the Middle East, but also Russia, Bulgaria, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania and Slovakia.
The road is still long, but doors are opening, and things are progressing slowly. In the meantime, if possible, a short trip to one of the countries that allow same-sex marriage can be a solution to your wish to get married! However, your union will not be legally recognized in your host country.
What about the transcription of the marriage certificate?
If you get married during your stay abroad, a legally valid transcription of your marriage certificate must be submitted to have your marriage recognized in your country of origin or in another country, should you need to go elsewhere. And this is not always easy to obtain. Here again, the local authorities, consulates and embassies will be at your service to get it. Some requests can be made online to facilitate the process, but in other cases, it will be necessary to present it by mail or to do it physically at the office of the competent authorities.
We know this is quite a lot to process, but now you know everything about expatriate marriage. Check everything out beforehand, and gather all the information you can, not only from the competent authorities but also from your friends and acquaintances in your host country, especially those who are expats themselves and who got married there. The rest will take care of itself. Long live the future and newlywed couples!
