10 questions that trailing spouses do not want to hear anymore!

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Published 2019-09-26 12:09

When a couple decides to settle abroad, very often there is the person who leaves for work and the one who follows. And while both partners have usually properly thought through their decision, the entourage is not always very open-minded regarding the role of the “trailing spouse”. What are the questions expat partners get asked all the time but cannot stand?

First of all, there are the general questions that get really annoying...

But, why do you want to leave?

So that my partner does not have to decline a job offer, to live a new experience, to discover a new country and a new culture, for all this and so much more!

Do you not mind giving up your career / your life to follow your spouse?

What do you mean give up? I see it as a new beginning and a unique chance to experience something new and exciting.

Are you not scared you will end up regretting your choice?

Time will tell! In fact, I would definitely be more afraid of missing out on a great opportunity just because I did not dare to.

And your spouse, is he/she grateful at least?

Well, I hope so. But to be honest, it is a common adventure. Even if we are leaving because of him/her, it is something, a life experience that we choose to live together.

There are also those back-handed reflexions to partners who do not intend to work...

What will you be doing, then?

I'll tell you when I'll get there but do not worry about me, I'm full of resources and I could certainly do all kinds of volunteering and other activities.

Are you going to be able to take care of your little wife or your little husband and cook lots of good food for when she / he comes home from work?

Why not? From time to time, yes. But just because I will not be working does not mean I will become a housewife/husband.

Are not you afraid of not integrating?

With a minimum of goodwill, I should be able to meet locals or other expats and integrate easily and I will have just enough time for that!

And, if you’re a woman you will surely have heard the following…

To those who do not have children: Maybe you will finally have time to have children?

Raising a child or children just because I have time on my hands or am bored is kind of out of fashion, I think. I’d rather wait for the moment when I feel like it, actually.

To those who already have children: you will have plenty of time to take care of your little family?

I would have more time for my family for sure, but over and above that, I will still give myself time for personal projects.

Surely you will meet other people in the same situation... 

Probably, but it does not mean that I will skim the housewives clubs or moms!