For many people, Christmas and New Year are familiar markers of the year, shaped by traditions they have grown up with. But not everyone shares the same cultural calendar. For expats from countries where Christmas is not widely celebrated, living in a place where the holiday dominates public and social life can be surprisingly disorienting. Decorations, music, and rituals suddenly become unavoidable, turning a festive season into a reminder of cultural distance. In this article, we look at how expats experience this contrast and how they learn to adapt when Christmas is not their holiday.
It's almost time for that very special time of the year. The malls are already decorated, the trees are up, and if you turn on your TV right now, there is a high chance you will be looking at something Christmas-related.
For a lot of us, Christmas is something we look forward to. Family dinners, time off work, holiday mood…what's not to like? In fact, you've probably seen videos or read articles about expats struggling when they find themselves in locations where Christmas or New Year are not celebrated the same way. But what if you find yourself, time after time, in the opposite situation?
According to the Pew Research Center, in 2020 there were about 2.3 billion Christians worldwide, which represented around 28.8% of the global population. So, roughly, one in every three people on Earth identifies as Christian. About 12% of them are Orthodox Christians, who celebrate Christmas slightly differently and on different dates.
Today, most sources show that Christmas is celebrated in roughly 160 - 170 countries around the world. This means that the majority of the world does celebrate the holiday in some form. But the thing is that even countries that don't officially celebrate Christmas (as a public holiday), for example, often choose to celebrate it commercially, visually, or socially.
"Every year, we decorate our office for Christmas and have a Christmas party. We only have two foreign colleagues from England, and most of our company is Chinese; we don't celebrate Christmas at home. But at the office we do", shares John, an expat in Shenzhen, China.
With the majority of the world celebrating Christmas (in one way or another), we rarely put ourselves in the shoes of those who are not used to large-scale Christmas and New Year celebrations and then find themselves in countries where these holidays are a really big deal. The contrast is even sharper for expats from regions where the biggest annual celebration is not Christmas at all, but Lunar New Year, Eid, Diwali, or Independence Day.
Imagine growing up with an entirely different emotional calendar, and suddenly living inside someone else's.
The psychology of culture shock during the holidays
If you are an expat, culture shock is most likely not a new term for you. Researchers often describe it as a curve: a soft rise, a steep drop, and a slow climb back up.
Holiday culture shock, on the other hand, tends to hit hard and fast. One moment you are doing fine and adjusting to your new life, and then a collective celebration of a holiday that you are not a part of throws you right back into the feeling of being an outsider because it heightens the contrast between ‘us' and ‘them'.
When the place you call home is speaking a cultural language you don't naturally speak (songs, rituals, family codes you never got to learn), your brain may do what it always does when it encounters something unfamiliar—panic.
Some studies suggest one effective countermeasure to this sudden spike of emotional distance is cultural immersion through “low-stakes participation. This basically means that instead of forcing yourself into a new tradition you can't relate to, you may want to consider easing into it: starting with small, manageable parts of the holiday. For example, consider stopping by a local Christmas market or helping plan an office Christmas party to get a better idea of why so many people feel attached to the tradition.
On the other hand, you could also find yourself in a situation where you are simply not interested in integrating into the holiday in the traditional sense. What should you do then?
"I remember always seeing lots and lots and lots of lights everywhere. In the shopping malls, windows, my colleagues' homes, even at work. I liked them at first, but year after year, seeing the same decorations and hearing the same songs…it got tiring.", shares Kumar, from India.
Adapting to large-scale winter holiday celebrations when it's not a big deal for you
"When I first moved to Interlaken (Switzerland) from Satun Town (Thailand), I knew that I would need to adapt to very different weather and a somewhat different way of life. But I wasn't really ready for how big the celebrations are every December. The whole town turns into a Christmas fair; people come from nearby countries. It's fun, but when you are not part of the celebration, it feels lonely and sometimes over the top", relates Preeda from Thailand.
That's the thing about Christmas and New Year. When we do celebrate them, it's usually done on a rather massive scale, and occupies a relatively long period of time. Trees and decorations can go up as early as November, holiday-themed advertising and TV shows get a lot of airtime, and whenever you go outside, it may feel like the famous "holiday spirit" is almost stalking you.
Sure, being abroad and missing a holiday back home can be difficult. But the other side of the story is opening your door to Christmas carolers and feeling like an outsider. And when you live in an environment where every winter you are bombarded with messages about a holiday that you don't celebrate, you may start to feel left out and, eventually, quite annoyed.
So, is there anything to do? We've talked to a few expats who often find themselves in similar situations. Here's what we've learned.
The simplest (but very short-term) solution to feeling out of place during Christmas holidays would be to simply plan a trip for this time of year. If you are in a country that actively celebrates Christmas or New Year, chances are, you will also get some time off work during this time. If you plan ahead of time, you may actually turn the holiday rush into a relaxing getaway.
"I am not a fan of winter. Paris is beautiful during the holidays, but once you've seen one Christmas tree, you've seen them all. So every year I take my family to a warm country for winter holidays. It's now a tradition," shares Igor Mistayevskiy from Ukraine.
Another idea is to mix things up and add a bit of your own tradition, something you are used to to the holidays celebrated around you. For example, you may give in to the holiday mood but make it about the things that YOU want to celebrate, instead of traditional Christmas festivities. You can cook the food you like, decorate your home in your own way, and enjoy this time of year in your own way.
If you are worried about the social aspect of Christmas and feeling left out, why not take matters into your own hands and host a fusion party? If you are invited to a Christmas party, consider making a dish from your culture that you hold dear and that reminds you of home. This could be a great way of making the event more meaningful for you and introducing your colleagues or friends to a new experience.
I may add my own example here. When living in China, an American colleague of mine used to host potluck Christmas dinners. They took place on December 24th, but instead of following Christmas Eve tradition closely, he encouraged all of his guests to bring their favorite family dish and share stories from where they come from. These parties quickly became favorites with expats, as we got to experience something different every time.
If you are struggling during Christmas time because of religious and spiritual differences, the best way around it would probably be to find local expat communities sharing your beliefs and holiday practices. You can do this both online (through groups on Facebook, Telegram, WhatsApp, etc.) and offline by searching for expat clubs, churches, temples, and cultural associations.
If you are not feeling particularly active during the holiday season, it could be a good time for quiet reflection and focusing on your mental wellbeing.
"I do celebrate Christmas, but recently I've been feeling very disconnected from "loud" holidays. So, last Christmas I spent 4 days in a silent retreat here in Hong Kong. It's been a great experience, and I came back to "real life" fully recharged. I did miss out on some holiday gifts, though," shares Jasmine, an expat in Hong Kong.
Finally, if you don't have anything specific in mind this holiday season, a great way to overcome holiday blues could be to give back or volunteer. One could argue that charity is the perfect antidote to over-the-top Christmas and can offer a grounding sense of purpose that many of us seek abroad.
