Loneliness when you're abroad

i have been living as an expat for last 3 years and still feeling lonliness. i couldn't get even one friend in last 3 years.

do something you always wanted to do.
example: join a yoga class or an art class.
or get involved with something happening in the country.
(music festivals, art shows...)
you can meet lots of people this way.
or if you really can't, make yourself busy and you'll soon adapt.

hope this helps.

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Well, Yeah. loneliness creeps in once the feeling of adventure in a new city or location wears away..
What to do in that case ?

go to Lonelies Bars/Clubs : Chances are that after being surrounded by very loud music/chattering/few drinks........
We tend to come out lonelier than before.

Internet : Its like talking to ourselves. Often I find that I only want to continue in a chat if the other person agrees with me on most of the issues....not fair ?! I know. So, chatting, surfing etc only makes a person weary. But surely, in small doses its great.

I feel, instead of immersing ourselves in sounds which are audible even on Mars (ha)...or typing on a keyboard, clutching the mouse......and going on a meaningless journey into cyberspace...   Here are some goods options (most of which I have tried and they work) :

A walk in a garden ALONE.
Stopping by  and appreciating a scenery...
Just the feeling of BEING NOW AND HERE.......in the present tense.
Laughing thru situations which are otherwise would have me perturbed.
Realising that the new city is infact the same as my original city only difference is the hoardings and boards on the shops are in a diff language......There is that same grocer, the same laundry, the same bus stop, the same train station, the same airport......only the facial features of people are different.

Try to find a new hobby.
Being adverturous in eating ..
Just taking a bus at random and going to the last stop and coming back in the same bus..........meeting people on the way.

Smiling just for no reason : it is contagious. try it.

Well, lots of things to do.......

Infact loneliness and being a stranger in a new city give a person a lot of chances to dive deep into his/her own personality and get united with the inner-self !

have fun

Working abroad can be a exciting, yet lonely experience. With your family and friends in another time zone it is easy to feel disconnected from them. To overcome this loneness  make lots of friends and i like you say the best way is to get learning the local language!.......

Hi, I know what you mean.  After being away from home for about 7 years, it really hit me hard.  It's now been 15 years since I've been away from home (Hawaii), and things are much better.  What I do when I get homesick and lonely is pick up the phone (skype, actually) and call my sister.  Or go on facebook where I can see my whole family and post to them.  When I go for a visit (not often enough), there is a sense of familiararity, naturally...the food, the customs, the shopping!  But after a spell, I remember too, how nice it is to be experiencing life in a different place.

It is hard to hear,
I think lonliness is something that is inside of someone, if you feel lonliness, you should open yourself with others and you will feel lot of peoples love each other.

I am going Paris in September, if someone can guide me.

Hello and welcome to Expat.com, ashraf219,
You should maybe post also in the forum of Paris if you need infor on the city!
Cheers Arlette

Yeah its boaring in the week end and really I am looking for female frnd to talk chat and have coffee together

Hi every one,

It is very true that living overseas is a challenge. Time really heals, its does get better with time.

I do it excatly like you when I was in saudi arabia internet cafe.

Hi All!

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, especially the 'loneliness' aspect.

Regards,
Sheetul

Sometimes its not about not knowing ppl, or having something to do. Sometimes loneliness is just being different... the road less taken, which can be a very lonely road.

I've had a hard time since i returned to my country of origin. I look the same like everyone else, which is nice for a change, but I think differently, talk a different language, act differently. sometimes people want to reach out to me and connect, but I just feel more safe in my own little world, so I know I'm blocking them out, but...
Oh well.

Whenever you get bored, just try a new thing to do that you never have done it before;)

I am seriuosly feeling lonely nowadays. To get out of that, I am just watching movies and listening music etc. There is no kick in job also, so I am searching new field in which i can get kick .

Well, I am staying Toronto for 6months up to now so far..

Sometimes I felt lonely but I made friends here and there and we have common interests as well. However when I see some family who have a dinner together and take the subway with family. I feel lonely

But i will go back within one month!

yeah we cannot help it but we feel lonely when we are far from our family. I comabt it by thinking happy thoughts.

reading magazines, eating chocolate and watching sex and the city...always a good solution!

Welcome to Expat-blog, Tryfly!

Hope that you establish new contacts soon with members.

All the best.

regards,
Sheetul

Hi Violets,

The internet really helps when you are bored cos some how, you meet either new people online or old friends and loved ones.

Used to be working in Macau for a short while. The greatest thing I missed was the food back home. Hard to find anything that can beat home-cooked food with double boiled soup. Maybe I'm a typical Chinese home person but that was really what I missed most.
We (expats staying same area) ended up getting together at home sometimes just to cook dishes for ourselves. Beats spending time at restaurants & clubbing. That was teh time where those few of us became very close friends even until now when most of us had moved on from there.
Think the more cosy & intimate setting gave all of us a chance to be truly ourselves. Great way to make friends in a foreign land. We get some locals too. Guess food really has no borders

It's very hard being away from home for oh wow...10yrs...not good. But, someone has to try and make it better for the family...so for me its work, work, and more work and for the highlights of my life, dinner with the hubby who makes me laugh...but what sucks is that underlying nagging lonely feeling no matter how much happiness you portray. I am constantly home-sick...Sad to say at nights I find I cry myself to sleep.

Get to know your neighbors, the folks at the corner store. I don't know where you may be but at least here in Colombia people will reach out.

abu dhabi in united arab emirates, noway to meet people

But in dubai i have to most cool group i have ever met i wish if i can come back to live in dubai again

I wait for probably working in Benin for a ONG and I know nobody there.I write this message for prepare my travel
and have relatives there in benin for receipt me in South
Cotonou and Grand Popo.
I am french but can english and german speaking.
I am a white woman and I wait for have recommandations about this state and knowledges about it too.

Welcome to Expat-blog, Karpov

Your discussion would best fit under the Benin forum where members could easily get in touch with you. Could you please start a new discussion there?

Regards,
Sheetul

I got married ....after that i do not feel lonely any more :-)

i agree with you ......

well ...i also think that finding places where you could practice your favorite hobbies would make a big difference.......

also having a pet is a great idea indeed!

I have some health problems, and particularly at this time of year when it's cooler I suffer more. When I'm feeling lonely it's usually at a time when I'm feeling not well enough or strong enough to go out, and I feel a nuisance because of my health so I don't let friends know how I'm feeling. I just stay home and watch TV, do crosswords and read books. I have lots of board games of different kinds, but no one to play them with.

My brother had a great way of enjoying company before retiring, he used to take a couple of board games down to the pub and friends and relatives would arrive and they'd play in teams if there were too many of them! It got a bit rowdy at times, but great fun.

I have 3 cats of my own that I brought from the UK with me, and 4-months ago I fostered / half adopted one, who is so naughty with my girls that he'll have to move on soon I think.

LOH wrote:

Hi, I know what you mean.  After being away from home for about 7 years, it really hit me hard.  It's now been 15 years since I've been away from home (Hawaii), and things are much better.  What I do when I get homesick and lonely is pick up the phone (skype, actually) and call my sister.  Or go on facebook where I can see my whole family and post to them.  When I go for a visit (not often enough), there is a sense of familiararity, naturally...the food, the customs, the shopping!  But after a spell, I remember too, how nice it is to be experiencing life in a different place.

Hi LOH,
I couldn't agree more. I am glad that my sister and I are that close too. The sense of familiarity is there when I go back for a visit, but a sense of strangeness as well. Everybody has moved forward and almost everything has changed since I moved abroad. It is a bit sad to realize that I am actually stranger in my own hometown. But then, you are right - It is nice that I do have a home away from home.
Cheers,
Fanling

Great topic.
I do not wish anyone to feel lonely, but it feels nicer in a way that it is not only me who struggles..
I do feel lonely very often. You cant make yourself busy all the time. Sometimes you have to stay in due to lack of money, horrible weather etc..What to do then?
I do not have anyone to call on skype back home. everyone moved on, have kids and no time to be there for me when I am lonely.
English people are not very easy to get close to. At the biggining I was fooled by their entusiasm and promisses about meeting up and becoming friends. All empy words. What I have learnet over these few years is that English people pretend a lot, they will constantly say how much tehy love you to bits and other stuff but their actions will prove otherwise..plus they keep saying these things to everyone..Also I experienced many situations when I spend a lot of time at party for example talking to someone and feeling we geting to know each other well, laughing, having great time and this peron might not even say hi next day..It happened many times so it cant be coinsidence..
It was shocking to me..In my coulture it is pure falsness and I prefer cold but real an honest people, at least I don get my expeations high and I do not feel fooled.
I wish I knew all this before setting up life here. Now it is really hard to leave but loneliness is getting bigger I feel

hmm, just the right topic at the right time. i lead a very active lifestyle but still, loneliness just kicks in at times when an empty apartment is all u get when u go home. nevertheless, having several great friends really does make a huge difference in your life abroad. do fun things, go travelling, partying, find new hobbies, meet new people from sites like this for instance are some of the ways i find good to kill loneliness. i hope some, if not most, of you will find your ways.

malteaser1955 wrote:

I have 3 cats of my own that I brought from the UK with me, and 4-months ago I fostered / half adopted one, who is so naughty with my girls that he'll have to move on soon I think.

Dear fren,

Pls be happy evything will go well...have u heard about meditation???maybe u can give a try...anapana meditation...it will help u to be calm and focus...
I did experience what u wrote...last nite we were fren...the next day they act like strangers

i spent the day meeting and talking with friends when homesickness set in or i may spend uploading new pics, chatting, or malling and end up buying unnecessary stuff...LOL..

i just close my eyes and i imagine New Caledonia:)

I am lonely but it my bad.
I don't try enough.

I believe Everything is in your mind. Where ever you go you take your mind with you. That is why you feel alone. Try to change yourself and be open.