Need advice to live with separated girl

Stemik62 wrote:

I am wanting to move to the philippines sir someday soon after I can build a savings. I fully retire in 6 years. So when I save maybe $75000 is dollars I think that time I move there. I would rather have a very simple life. Even province life is good for me. I have been there 2 times already and lived the simple life and love it. Unless I find a girl to help support me until my retirement, but this is against my beliefs.
Salamat sir

So you wait 6 years and then retire to the Philippines on your own terms.  It will be good practice for you to have some patience, plenty of which is required to live in the Philippines.

Stemik62 wrote:

Wadja
I appreciate your comment calling me stupid without knowing me personally sir. If you have to apologize in parentheses then maybe you should not have said that to begin with, or just pm me with that comment instead of publicly saying this.
I came on this site to seek advice but on this site I seem to have found many degrading comments as well as some sound advice. I know the laws there, I have talked with lawyers there. And I will gladly leave this site as soon as I contact the admin to remove my profile. I now know that the filipinos and filipinas are much more respectful than the expats. When I do move there my life will be as their life. I do prefer the hard wooden beds with no foam and mosquitoes to comforts of luxury.
Goodbye ug pag-amping

Hopefully you will seriously consider the sound advice provided here and not worry about insults from people you will never meet or have to deal with.  Hopefully you will realize that the potential problems you are setting yourself up for go beyond laws and lawyers.  Good thing you don't require the comforts of luxury, hope you don't crash too hard from your Rocky Mountain High.  Good luck.

Stemik62 wrote:

And to mugtech
Rocky mountain high????? Really
Admin can not get me off this site fast enough.

Just a John Denver joke, hope you can smile during your exit.  Good luck.

Stemik62 wrote:

Thanks mugtech. Maybe 20 years since I heard that song at least. I forgot about hat song. All is good. I thought you was referring to our stupid marijuana laws here. Another reason I want out of here.

"You're better off with a joint than with a drink, I think" Pure Prairie League from I'll Fix Your Flat Tire, Merrill.

samangelevski wrote:

aussiekiwi, I guess you both. I to believe you gave good advice to some people here,
must be single no kids, never been married, and have a good job, to me this is perfect if you could find one ??

Tons of decent Filipinas that meet those requirements here, but yeah, it takes a little effort to find them.   I think many of us get hooked on the first sweet girl we meet here, and often times she's not the most compatible for a relationship.  Still better than the alternative, I suppose.

Good luck to  Stemik62  with the annulment and moving forward.  Too many nice single girls here for me to ever go down that road, but I'm not gonna judge.  And not sure if anyone mentioned it, but it's not illegal to kill a man if you catch him with your wife.  Something to think about!

samangelevski wrote:

aussiekiwi, I guess you both. I to believe you gave good advice to some people here,
must be single no kids, never been married, and have a good job, to me this is perfect if you could find one ??

Allow me to join you please,

In the Philippines, millions of decent, young, educated, graduated, working, single girls.

If you go to bars, you will only see the s*** of the society, only the bad and the worst,
If you go to business centers, you meet the business girls
If you are desperate and you chat via websites, you only get the desperate girls also who cannot compete with good girls and is trying to find a stupid horny foreigner who is easily giving everything for her.
I have been living in the Philippines for years, get this advise: " Do never marry or meet any girls who is not single, beautiful, educated, and independent financially" even if you are not educated, or not with decent life, you should not go to the left over women...
remember why I call some girls the leftover, because no man (especially no Filipino) would like her or accept her, so why would you?

Finally: in the Philippines, the rate of girls is like 3 or 4 girls for 1 man , which means that millions of girls including the top level ones cannot find a local partner and are ready to make a good family with you.

wadja wrote:

samangelevski wrote:

aussiekiwi, I guess you both. I to believe you gave good advice to some people here,
must be single no kids, never been married, and have a good job, to me this is perfect if you could find one ??

you should not go to the left over women...
remember why I call some girls the leftover, because no man (especially no Filipino) would like her or accept her, so why would you?

Was just discussing this with wife last night as we watched so many expats at the mall with their wife and HER kid.  Single mothers are ostracized here (or as you call it, leftover) because the Filipino guys are very entitled and spoiled.  Most of them have multiple kids scattered around, but they won't date a girl with kids.  Hypocrisy, but that's how it works here.

In the western world, it's very common to date a single mother, so when foreigners come here, they don't see anything wrong with dating separated, divorced, or single mothers....especially if they already have kids of their own.  Very hard for Filipinos to understand that, and they always assume the worst anyways.

Personally I wouldn't, but I had no previous kids or marriage....so it wasn't unreasonable for me to expect my bride to be the same.  For others....up to them.  Just have to be smart about it.

expatsteve48 wrote:

wadja wrote:

samangelevski wrote:

aussiekiwi, I guess you both. I to believe you gave good advice to some people here,
must be single no kids, never been married, and have a good job, to me this is perfect if you could find one ??

you should not go to the left over women...
remember why I call some girls the leftover, because no man (especially no Filipino) would like her or accept her, so why would you?

Was just discussing this with wife last night as we watched so many expats at the mall with their wife and HER kid.  Single mothers are ostracized here (or as you call it, leftover) because the Filipino guys are very entitled and spoiled.  Most of them have multiple kids scattered around, but they won't date a girl with kids.  Hypocrisy, but that's how it works here.

In the western world, it's very common to date a single mother, so when foreigners come here, they don't see anything wrong with dating separated, divorced, or single mothers....especially if they already have kids of their own.  Very hard for Filipinos to understand that, and they always assume the worst anyways.

Personally I wouldn't, but I had no previous kids or marriage....so it wasn't unreasonable for me to expect my bride to be the same.  For others....up to them.  Just have to be smart about it.

I agree but depending on the person..
If it is love, no comment, ... (impossible to fall in love with a woman who doesn't speak your language, share your dreams, walk on your side and you feel proud of her, understand your accent, watches your movies, etc...
Do never imagine that making sex with a woman makes her love you or you love her too 
here comes the profile of the foreigners in the Philippines
If your profile is over 60 years young,  or lazy to search, or physically not attractive, or bad attitude (alcohol, drugs, ...)  and you want a ready woman who will feel lucky to be with you, you can be contented with a s woman with no education and with kids, because she is cheap and has no choice except to date you and to act love with you, or you can pay a young single prostitute from a bar to marry you.
if you are a man with social life, you can never marry a woman with no education or social level, because you need someone to share your social life, not to be your maid, and your sexmate only.
If you are someone looking for long term relationship, you should think to make your own kids, not to sponsor the kids of another man, remember that every time you see these kids, you see the face of their father who is laughing at you in their eyes.

Again, it will depend on the man first and his expectation, cheap men get cheap women , good men get good women

Stemik62 wrote:

Hi everyone. I have been in a relation for 2 years with a girl who is separated. I was thinking of moving there with her. But I have heard stories warning me of this. Is it true about extortion,  being arrested, and maybe death? Her ex has another family and yes I believe he knows of me. She tells me he does not care. He lives on a different island now. And is it difficult for someone like me who is not retired yet, I am 56 years young, to live there? We plan on opening a small business. She is a province girl who is trying to get her life together after being married and abused for 13 years. She married right after high school and I helped her get her 1st ever real job. She is 35 years of age and never worked a real job until this year. Thanks guys. And girls.

Yes, those stories are true. Some of those foreigners were conned, which is why it is important to do due diligence if you want to have a relationship with a woman from a foreign country. You are on the right track to have sought the advice of a trusted lawyer and direct your girlfriend to them instead of relying on hearsay.

It's unsafe to flash money around, but even more unsafe to have very little.  To live here, it would be best to have a constant source of income, i.e. a pension / SS benefits / retirement fund. For savings, aim for at least $100k (around PhP 5 million). A female expatriate here once had asked for advice on how to get money to pay for a PhP700k emergency heart surgery, for which did not have any funds. Avoid getting into that situation. Get your health in order before coming here.

As for a small business, you cannot put a sole proprietorship under your name. There are a lot of sound advice on setting up a business and buying property in the Philippines here on this site. Just ignore the insulting posts and keep your expat.com account to get in touch with those who can actually help you with your plans of moving here.

If you are willing and able to adjust your lifestyle and be open-minded, you will do well here. And I think you will especially when you said, "When I do move there my life will be as their life. I do prefer the hard wooden beds with no foam and mosquitoes to comforts of luxury." I've been a member of this site for a long time. There are foreigners who would not give the Philippines a chance because, on their visit, the hot cocoa they ordered was too hot, or that tiled floors were too slippery. If you are like them, just don't bother coming here.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

There are foreigners who would not give the Philippines a chance because, on their visit, the hot cocoa they ordered was too hot, or that tiled floors were too slippery. If you are like them, just don't bother coming here.

I don't know...I ran out of tissue and just about slipped in the CR trying to tabo this morning, and then burned my lips on my Milo afterwards...horrible country!   lol

But seriously, great post.  I think a lot of us use forums to vent, so we can put our best foot forward IRL.  It's not easy sometimes.  We're all still learning and trying to prosper here, and actions speak louder than words.  Filipinos rarely complain, as it's not in their nature, and typically futile.  So it not easy for a Filipino to understand why a foreigner would complain and still stay here....you understand that having seen both sides.