I love my Algerian boyfriend

Welcome on board 

I always wondered how can someone who met someone online  love the other without meeting in real life. Spending time together, doing things together et cetera. My best advice is to meet him in real life and spend some time together.
If it feel good to you and you are more comfortable with, bring someone with you.

Despite that you love him, you have doubts as well  and I think you should be.
Saying that his device has no webcam is ridiculous, it seems that he doesn't want you to see him  how he looks like in real. I guess you never talk to him trough Skype or any other similar programs. Maybe its time to do so. And if he has not webcam, he can always buy one.

The fact that he has more than one account, doesn't have to mean anything. Me, for example, have also more then one account for several purposes. But it can also mean that he is talking with other girls too. If I was you, I would ask him why he needs so many accounts.

If you are going to marry this guy, you don't need to convert. Its totally up to you. I must say that when you get children they become automatically Muslims. The religion goes trough the male blood line. How they will raise, its up to you both but in most cases the men insist on a Islamic breeding. In that case it can more practical to convert. In this matter I want to tell you also that Christians and Muslims can not heritage from each other. if you convert then you do.
I don't know how traditional he or his family is, but he will married in the Islamic way.

If I were you, I would read everything about the culture and traditions of the Algerians and also the basic way of life of the Muslims and the religion. You have to be aware that two different cultures and religions are a great source to learn about each other, It can enrich your life and experiences but it can also be a burden. Respect for each other in all different kind of ways and accept that the other think different due many things is a way to succeed a multicultural relationship.

hello disney girl and welcome on board
as Primadonna said, the best way to know that you are in love with someone is to meet the person face to face, to spend some time with the person....because it's totally different than talking behind screens
well, there are some points which are not really clear from your boyfriend's side, like when he says that this device does not support webcam conversations....that's not fair, he can go to a cyber shop and chat with you for example, there are lots of options
maybe you are talking to someone different than the one in the picture, have you tried to see different pictures of him, or you only seen one??
what i want to say, first make sure that you are talking to the right person, then you can ask about geting married in islamic way....
by the way im from Algeria, and it is a pleasure if i could help somehow

cheers

Hello,
I have seen different pictures of him.

Good advice form the other members.

I would suggest that you step back from this and take a long hard look at what you have found out about him with multiple accounts. You need to sort out where this online relationship will take you. 

You also have doubts about him. I personally would not bother meeting him at all and break off the relationship.
There are too many sad endings to cases like this where the woman has been used by the man as a way out of his present living conditions and to reside in another country.

There is a saying "love is blind"   Don't be blind yourself as it will get you into a mess.

Don't be blind, you are in love with a picture and don't even know if it is him.

Understand that you are a young woman and in fact you have lots of doubts yourself so you should take your time and think it over what you are going to do next.

Talk to your close friends and perhaps also your family and get their opinions.

Yes dear. If he is a muslim, you have to convert to be a muslim before the wedding. You have to think first, a hundred times maybe?, because there's a lot to consider. Give yourself more time.

Hello,
Thanks for the reply! We are planning on meeting. He joined the police forces to get the money but he said it would take a couple years. We have used Skype but he said he doesn't have a webcam. I think I will talk to him about his religion and ask questions. I assume he knows I'm not Muslim but when I tell him I don't want him to run away because we are not of the same religion.

Be careful and please don't rush. When you chat on Skype, always insist to put his cam on.

hey as a member already mentioned above, you can get married with him even if you are a christian and he is a muslim, also, different races, cultures, religions and countries relationship works good sometimes....lots of people are happy in that kind of marriage, its depend on the persons and what is their intention...

people tell their point of view, give advice, at the end of it, you are the one who have the feeling toward him
if you are scared from falling  you will never learn how to ride

please let me know if you ever need any kind of help

cheers

Nadji

There is something I don't trust about you told us. You using Skype without cam because he hasn't one?

Something is not right and I get the feeling he is not completely honest with you.

Hello disney_girl,

Some of the most basic rules of internet safety are being totally ignored. You are still a very young person and perhaps not very worldly yet. Young love is always wonderful, but you have to think first with your head and not your heart nowadays simply to protect yourself.

Rule 1.   If someone you have known for an extended period won't talk on camera or doesn't give you a (land) phone number or won't accept calls, then you should NOT trust that person at all.

Rule 2.   When a person has multiple accounts on any social media, there's a reason for this - usually a sign of trouble. They generally use multiple accounts in order to help avoid confusion between the "romances" that they're running at the same time with different people.

Rule 3.  When the other person brings up the subject of MONEY, no matter what the reason is or how innocent it may seem at the time, it usually is a sign that somewhere down the road, and not too far off in the future, they're going to be asking for your help financially.

Rule 4.  Get to know everything you can about the other person and VERIFY that information by any source you can. How do you know this guy isn't already married or dating? How do you know that he's not just looking at you as the way to a visa for Canada? Even if he says otherwise it could be. Many such men say they have absolutely no intention at all in leaving their homeland, then start putting up all kinds of barriers, giving all kinds of negative points if you suggest that you go there instead. They hope this will become so frustrating that you suggest they come to your country. They're very sophisticated and know exactly how to work this.

If you know all the red flags are up before this even gets off the ground, and you're already very concerned about the way women are treated in the Middle-East you should listen to yourself. Your gut instincts are probably right. If you're born and raised in Canada I can tell you that you're NOT going to be prepared to adapt to such a radically different lifestyle where all the freedom you've always taken for granted will be gone.

Listen to the advice of those who know you best, they're saying date somebody at home, then that's just what you should do.

Cheers,
James          Expat-blog Experts Team

a wise advise from mr James...

Thank you everyone for your advice!

you welcome 

I have a lot if experience with this subject as I met ny now husband online 😊 .. I met my husband on a social network site called 'Tagged' we conversed on there for about a week before then using Skype, I fell in love with him instantly when I saw that handsome face, we spoke every ending for 3-4hrs for 9 weeks before I flew out to Algeria to meet him and his family, it couldn't have gone any better, has family accpeted me with open arms and hearts, we married on the 2nd evening the Muslim way called a Fatiha, my husband is Muslim and I am Catholic and have no intention of converting and it was never expected of me either, like I said everyone accepted me for exactly the way I am.. I stayed in Algeria for 1 month, came home 🏠 and then went back 2 months later where I stayed for 4 months.. Best time of my life, we found out I we where expecting a baby, life was perfect and everythig I could dream of, after the 4 months my visa was up and I had to return to Scotland and await my husband coming to visit, I was pregnant and alone, and working long hours.. We didn't see eachother for 6 months because the visa process took so long, he finay arrived in Scotland in May just on time for the arrival of our now 6.5 month old daughter, Sophia. My Algerian husband is the most amazing man I have ever met, even though we chose to live life differently we accept eachother, hes Muslim I'm  not, he doesn't drink alcohol, I do,  I eat pork, he doesn't.. I am my own person and have never been controlled in anyway by him so the people judging Muslim men are talking rubbish.. And also you do NOT HAVE to convert, a Muslim man can ask his non muslim wife 3 times only, to convert and if she declines 3 times he cannot ask again, my husband didn't ask me once because he knows that if I want to I will

We have now been legally married on paper and in the muslim way for over a year and are enjoying life in Scotland with occasional visits to our family in Algeria. Maybe I am just one of the lucky ones, just make sure that you folow your heart, but most importantly your gut! - if something seems not right, it probably isn't. Good luck!!  😘😊😊

Hi,
I m algerian also...in love matters we can t convince  the person in love about what he or she has to be aware of...
As you said or as i ve understood from your message that you didn t see him face to face which is not normal ...nowdays no one can t say that he doesn t own a webcam i think it s just an excuse....when  we fall in love we do everything  to be close to the beloved person....that s the reality...
second thing  it s too expensive for  a normal algerian to buy a ticket for canada as it s too far ...
i advice you to think well about it ...and don t dream of unreal person ,,,,advice from a girl like you ...regardless the nationality or religion because we have the same human nature.....
take care of your feelings and your heart

Hi Disney girl....I have just read your post and as an English woman married to an Algerian for over 18 yrs and living in Algiers,I can maybe give you advice,weather you take it is up to you...
I would say this man/boy is definitely looking for a visa for Canada,red flags everywhere...I know that's not what you want to hear but better sooner than later!!! I hope I can be wrong but having no webcam is a big giveaway ....be very very careful please,I know lots of women who have been used by men who just want visas.........yes,there are good ones out there,the ex-pat community over here is big,so not all men are bad!!!! But just the way you have explained about the person tells me he is just trying to get into Canada...I hope you don't get hurt my dear..take care...xx

I guess sistersuae is right.

hi!,i am algerian and i live in Tlemcen,i completely agree at what you said,i think that this guy is just lookng for a visa to canada,besides,a video conv can be made in every "cyber café"with only a few dinars!!and if you give me his name,i can play the detective for you here in Tlemcen

That's not true, she does not have to convert, a muslim man can only ask his wife 3 times to convert and if she declines after all 3 he can't ask again, do your homework being making such uneducated, false statements.

u need to meet him .

yes youre right !

i completely agree,but he lives here in algeria and he probably will say that he needs a help to get the Visa to Canada,i suggest that she tells him that she wants to visit Algeria et see his réaction!

If you know your future you will have no future.
Trust yourself.
Best luck,
Sam

Good morning to you all, how amazing ae we human being full of imigination and assumption no one of you knows the guy or meet him or spoke to him,how do you assume he intends to be friend her for visa reason or other

I myself married a lady from USA 10 years ago and i did her residency in UK as they are not allowed to settle and i am Algerian.and we are living in Algeria with 3 kids

I strongly disagree with some posting i find them unjust and without a strong argument, i advise disney girl to visit him in algeria and see his situation and then she can come with right decision
My advise to you all to be fair that is all, because you never know the situation my reverse and you be the circle of the topic
Thank you and all the best disney girl and feel free to contact me for any further information

I am Canadian (Vancouver), and married an amazing Algerian man last summer.
Please DO NOT visit him to find out more about him. That is crazy...lol
Before you travel to Algerian, you need to know as much as possible about him and his family. I not only talked to my husband via video Skype, but I talked to his two sisters, two brothers, and his parents. And he video chatted with my mom, brother and a few friends before my first visit to Algeria.

Tlemcen (where I went on my honeymoon) is a large city, so if he wants you to see his face on video, he would be able to do so.
Although it may be extremely difficult to do, I would say to him that you need to video chat now, otherwise stop contacting him (or at least have it just be as friends, and not a romantic relationship).
Btw, I was not Muslim when we got married, you just have to believe in god for a Muslim man to marry you!

If you have any questions please feel free to send me a private message! I'm in Canada so I can share my experience of going over there etc if you like!!

hi,you are right ,chez has to comme to algeria,but will he agree?he dont evn chow himself on a webcam,he says ,he hasnt one,but why didnt he go to a CYBERCAFE,its not expensive!!!!

yes !!!tell him,you want to visit algeria!!

Hi Disney Girl - I'm Eiliyah and had married with an Algerian for going to be 9 years now with 2 wonderful kids. My advise to you is that don't believe what others said take theirs for reference. Judge with your own heart and eyes. Your 's worries was mind too.

When I was single, I'm a Chinese Bhuddhist. I raised in a very typical chinese family which 3 generation under one roof and my mom have to cook 3 meals a day and in dinner we must have everyone sit on dinning table and I have four elder brothers and only daughter in my family. So can you imagine how strict my family had brought me up.

I met my husband who was an Algerian through a friend. After we know each other and be sure that is the right man / the right lady for him we decided to get married. He told me If I'm a Christian or a Muslim is no issue to get marriage as they originated same root. I reverted to Islam

Disney I have to tell you in my marriage I gained not only a great husband and a great father to my kids but TO BE A MUSLIM. Islam never force, but teach us to be more respectful, generous, faith, getting our family and friends boding closer, hygenic, health etc. You can try to read Al Quran and Hadith and Sunnah to understand what Islam about. I am 100% sure that you will revert to Islam with all your sincerity heart.

You are Canadian and he is Algerian, there must be a great difference in cultures, life style etc, Trust, faith, Torlerance, patience are key words for you. Get to know him personally then you decide.

I wish you good luck and have a happy life.

Hi,

Very easy solution...
As your words and personality indicates, you are an innocent lady. You may fall in love with any male so easily. Switch to someone else in Algeria or any other country, and you will find yourself loving the second one.
By the way, vast majority of Muslim husbands are so nice, loyal, faithful and polite, not 100% though. You must not fear from Muslim males. They respect women.
All black paint put on the image of Muslim is propaganda of western politicians. Study Islam and you will have pleasant surprise. A good Muslim is a perfect husband.

I wouldn`t trust that man in your place

Dear Sir,

May I ask you would not trust that man? in what basis did made your jugement or opinion? do you know him or heard anything about him?

Thanks

Hello disney_girl

I think all have been said on this issue, wish all the best to disney_girl in her future life.

Closing down this thread (please do not forget we expect contents in relation to expatriation on the forum)

Regards
Kenjee
Expat.com Team
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