Menu
Expat.com
Search
Magazine
Search

Unsure of intentions

T
#1
Hi I have been speaking to a man from algeria for some time. He is lovely. Always in contact with me. Makes me feel really good about myself. But everything I read online seems like he could be just looking for a visa. He has invited me and my children to visit algeria  and said he does not mind if we live together in algeria or Ireland in the future. He has a friend in sweden so is telling me that he can visit Europe though this. He has also said he has plans in the future for us to live in sweden as a family. I cannot see why he says to be lies. He a Muslim but not very religious. Would like me to convert but does not mind if I do not.. he has so much time for me so I do not think he has a relationship like this with someone else. He also works. And is always sending pictures and videos of himself when he is out and about. Im looking for good stories from people basically. Anyone who met and married a man fpm algeria and it worked out.
2 members reacted to this post
See also
XB23
#2

Traciiiiii wrote:

Hi I have been speaking to a man from algeria for some time. He is lovely. Always in contact with me. Makes me feel really good about myself. But everything I read online seems like he could be just looking for a visa. He has invited me and my children to visit algeria  and said he does not mind if we live together in algeria or Ireland in the future. He has a friend in sweden so is telling me that he can visit Europe though this. He has also said he has plans in the future for us to live in sweden as a family. I cannot see why he says to be lies. He a Muslim but not very religious. Would like me to convert but does not mind if I do not.. he has so much time for me so I do not think he has a relationship like this with someone else. He also works. And is always sending pictures and videos of himself when he is out and about. Im looking for good stories from people basically. Anyone who met and married a man fpm algeria and it worked out.


If he can visit Sweden via his Sweden-based friend as he claims, then you can setup a meeting in Sweden... I bet he can't. So go ahead, tell him, lets meetup in Sweden. He has plans to live there with you, so why not. See the country together. Lets see if he can even obtain a Sweden visa...

Anyway, it's not in the culture for Algerian men to be in a relationship with a woman who has kids. They only do it for temporarily purposes (i.e obtain visa and be settled abroad, then divorce).

1 member reacted to this post
T
#3
He said once we have one child together he will be happy? So I am being foolish? Thank you for your response.
XB23
#4

Traciiiiii wrote:

He said once we have one child together he will be happy? So I am being foolish? Thank you for your response.


I speak Arabic. I am a Muslim. I come from, and understand this culture. We do not generally marry a woman with kids. Even a childless divorced woman has a difficult time finding a husband. However when it comes to trying to obtain a USA/Canadian/European etc visa, we would 'marry' anyone to leave the country. Algeria has a very high level of unemployment and even those with high qualifications and who work suffer from low wages, forcing many of it's people to seek opportunities and life abroad. Do you know even living on social assistance in the rich countries of Europe pays more than many jobs in Algeria. They know this. So it doesn't matter if he works. They know they can make more abroad.

4 members reacted to this post
T
#5
Thank you for your honesty. I hbe shown him this he said it is an opinion not  rule. His parents are divorced. He raised his siblings. Said he is different. And had planned on visiting Sweden but flight ban happened in 2020. And that if I do not convert he can still marry me as it is allowed?
XB23
#6

Traciiiiii wrote:

Thank you for your honesty. I hbe shown him this he said it is an opinion not  rule.


Ask him how common it is for Algerian men to marry Algerian women with children. How many men does he know who did this? How many of his friends or family members did this? How many Algerian men do this? I hope he can give you a truthful answer than come up with excuses or lies.

Traciiiiii wrote:

Said he is different.


Of course he would say that. They all say that they are 'different', 'honest', and 'sincere'. I would be careful believing what is said.

Traciiiiii wrote:

if I do not convert he can still marry me as it is allowed?


A Muslim man may marry a Muslim, Jewish, or Christian woman. I assume you're Christian.

1 member reacted to this post
T
#7
Yes I am. I asked him these questions. He said none. That it is not heard of.
XB23
#8

Traciiiiii wrote:

I asked him these questions. He said none. That it is not heard of.


Exactly! It is unheard of because it is not something that is done - that is my point. I personally wouldn't want to get involved in something that is unheard of, hehe. It would likely only lead to problems in the future. Your choice of course, but I think I've provided enough information. I wish you the best of luck!

1 member reacted to this post
T
#9
I hoped I would be the exception not the rule. But it is not likely. Thank you for all your help.
XB23
#10

Traciiiiii wrote:

I hoped I would be the exception not the rule. But it is not likely. Thank you for all your help.


And so did the many who were scammed - they all hoped it will work out differently for them. That they have found someone who truly wants them and nothing else. That this person is 'different' from others. But alas, the result was the same. I honestly think deep down, similar to you, that they were unsure of intentions, but did not have the courage to end it. Instead deluding themselves that hopefully, somehow, it will all be fine.

I know how hard it is to let go of something you have invested time, emotions, and hopes on. Especially when the person we are communicating with is saying all the right things and very convincing. But isn't that the job of a scammer, to convince us! It is a difficult decision. But that is life isn't it. Sometimes the right decisions are tough to make, and it is easier ignoring the harsh reality, and carry on living with the hope that things will turn out the way we want it to. But will it? That's the million-dollar question. I am not here to ruin your hopes. But provide a reality check.

I don't want you to live with regret. That is the main reason I responded to your post. And believe me, I have posted about this topic many times, and was ignored. Then later on, I have seen them come back and rant about how terrible all men from that particular country is. And warn others to avoid them all. I don't want to rub salt into the wound and tell them I told you so, but I sit there thinking, you were told. The man isn't to blame. You are. You made the decision. No one forced you!

I am not saying this person is a scammer. But chances are high that this is the case. Nothing wrong in taking risks in life provided the odds are in your favour. But this is a huge gamble, and will be very costly, both financially and to your emotional wellbeing if it turns out indeed it was a scam all along. I hope you take a step back and decide if it's worth it all.

1 member reacted to this post
T
#11
Unlike others he has never asked me for any money or gifts. He has sent me a couple of gifts nothing big but sentimental to us. It will not cost me for him to come here. Not financially anyway. So I guess the question i will.have to say is ot worth the chance of heart ache. Tha k you so much for your honesty.. I definately see things clearer.
XB23
#12
They are not all stupid enough to ask you for things before you're officially together and scare you away. Because they know it comes across as suspicious and so they wait and be patient for the right time. Sometimes the requests comes later after you have engaged/married. Such as there is someone 'ill', and some money will be needed to be sent to help pay for 'treatment'. It would be impossible for you to verify this sob story. This is just an example of what may or may not happen.

I'm not sure what you mean it won't cost you to bring him to Ireland. Since you're financially responsible for the visa application and his stay there. Unless you mean he will send you the money and cover the cost for every single thing. But there will definitely be a financial burden to bear, regardless of small or big. I don't see any way that such relationships will cost you zilch.

And finally, ask yourself these questions - if you were an Algerian living in Algeria, would he honestly show any interest in you as a person with children.. Or if he was already living in Ireland/another developed country, would he show any interest in you as a mother with children? Answer these questions honestly to yourself. Ask yourself why there is an interest, when there wouldn't be, had you been living in Algeria, or he was already in Ireland.
1 member reacted to this post
T
#13
I have no answer to these questions as it would be normal for this in ireland. We have spoken for some time. About the future etc. He has never asked me for money said he will pay for everything himself? I dont have money. He knows this. Im raring 4kids. He will send the money for it all. Thank you for all your information and honesty
T
#14
I have no answer to these questions as it would be normal for this in ireland. We have spoken for some time. About the future etc. He has never asked me for money said he will pay for everything himself? I dont have money. He knows this. Im raring 4kids. He will send the money for it all. Thank you for all your information and honesty
farid farid30
#15
:cheers: I am from Algeria
XB23
#16

Traciiiiii wrote:

I have no answer to these questions as it would be normal for this in ireland.


I don't know about the norms in Ireland regarding single childless men forming relationship with women with children. But I believe it's not very common in Ireland. I do know for certain it's not the norm for Algerians. He already agreed with this. As such, I'm unsure why you would want to involve yourself in something that is unheard of in Algeria.

Traciiiiii wrote:

He has never asked me for money said he will pay for everything himself? I dont have money. He knows this.


This basically means he is willing to cover the cost of things, provided you apply and make a visa for him, and bring him to Ireland. It's really all about investing some money to move to Europe. Are you aware so many Algerians are very desperate to obtain a visa to Europe? You can even see plenty of them posting on the Europe Forum of this site, enquiring about moving to Europe and work there. Many want to leave Algeria, and this is a fact. Your friend/partner is no different.

T
#17
Thank you for this.
1 member reacted to this post
sowyfeilnm
#18
Every person is different. I am an American with a man from Algeria and there are many different reasons here in America that some has come and some has gone. A man here from Algeria married a woman with 3 children, who could not have any more children. They have been married 7 years and he has gain citizenship and adopted the kids.

But take your time to really get to know the people. Video chatting and getting to know his family and friends can help a bit too.

Good luck with whatever choice you decide.
2 members reacted to this post
XB23
#19
In life, of course there is always the very few exceptions, and reasons why they are so. For example the man may already have children of his own (this can be known about or even kept as a secret), or he is infertile, or his partner has money and he is better off financially staying with her for the time being until he establishes himself and is in a more favourable situation and less dependent on her etc. When you're in a new country, you may not yet have the resources to lead an independent life, and need time to first settle down. Staying after obtaining citizenship can be for financial reasons rather than genuine love.

One must not give precedence to the rare exceptions that appear positive from the outset and ignore the majority of cases which turn out negative. Nor ignore the advice of the experts at the USA Embassy in Algeria who share my opinions. They have plenty of experience with these types of relationships. They have seen many fraudulent cases so many times that they decided to warn about it! Here is what they say about marriage in Algeria:

"Many Algerians befriend U.S. citizens through Internet dating and social networking sites and these relationships may lead to engagement and marriage.  While some of these marriages are successful, the U.S. Embassy in Algiers warns against marriage scams.  It is not uncommon for foreign nationals to enter into marriages with U.S. citizens solely for immigration or financial purposes.  Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are especially susceptible to manipulation.  Often, the marriages end in divorce in the United States when the foreign national acquires legal permanent residence (“green card”) or U.S. citizenship.  In some cases, the new U.S. citizen or permanent resident then remarries a wife he divorced before, around the same time as entering into a relationship with a sponsoring U.S. citizen."

The U.S. Embassy has seen several cases in which U.S. citizens are lured to Algeria and are then held against their will in abusive situations.  U.S. citizens who do not speak the local languages and are dependent solely on the one Algerian national are especially vulnerable.  Sometimes the U.S. citizen is able to escape only with police / Embassy intervention.  U.S. citizens in this situation have often found that their personal and financial information is hacked.  As a U.S. citizen, you need to be responsible for ensuring you are in legal status in Algeria and not rely on someone promising to take care of it for you.  The Algerian national may try to threaten to have you arrested/deported if you do not follow his or her commands.

While chat rooms and dating and social networking sites are great ways to make friends across international borders, the U.S. government urges U.S. citizens who meet foreign nationals on the Internet to take the time necessary to get to know them well before considering marriage.

Source: USA Embassy in Algeria - Romance and Marriage fraud
Kat A Strophic
#20
He à fraud. Babe.      Please trust me.      I just had a year of my life wasted by a asshole.  Who dropped me as soon as he found a bet. ter candidate.     Have you met his mother.        Have your families talkedto discuss te marriage and agree on terms ?     If not.    Don't do it.  I can show you proof   of what I went through.    I reporting him to my countries immagration services. As welll as the country of the new woman.              He's going to gas light  you make you think   your crazy for not trusting him.       Has he asked you for anything.?   Have you said no to    him.           Trust me.      When I say. They have a hard time even getting regular tourists visas   because of these things.        There are goood Muslim men.      But if he's not religious      he will will have no fear of Allah.
1 member reacted to this post
P
#21
Hi Kat. I met a man from Algeria on Facebook. There's a 20-year difference between the ages of 33 i 53. His family and he are very religious. No doubt I had told him but he swears he loves me. He swore on his family allah and with the Koran in his hand. On Facebook and Instagram he has many women he follows but he says he doesn't talk to any women. I talked to a few of them and they told me they were looking for a woman to live with. But why I, for example, in Europe
G
#22
Dear,

Just be carful
Algerian man never marry a woman with children but he will if his intentions is to get citizenship of another country,there is plenty of Algerian woman with children in Algeria  a young Algerian man don’t marry them  ,once you get married with him ,cleared from immigration ,he will divorce you.,
he knows if you will have a child together ,living with you or not he will have citizenship under having parental relationship with a child born in your country he doesn’t even needs you after that.
1 member reacted to this post
P
#23
hello. hello. We argued a lot because he follows a lot of women on Facebook and Instagram but swears he has no relationship. I blocked him one day and then I unlocked and asked him to see what friends he had on Facebook and he gave me the password after he had all the women he had. But I saw it. He asked for a relationship with a woman only five days after I blocked him. And he said if I blocked him that's why he asked for a relationship with another woman. Only after five days. I'm 20 years older and he swears he loves me and wants to stay with me. He said he didn't want Europe. He wants me to go to Algeria. She wants me to be a Muslim. I blocked him one day and then I unlocked and asked him to see what friends he had on Facebook and he gave me the password after he had all the women he had. But I saw it. He asked for a relationship with a woman only five days after I blocked him. And he said if I blocked him that's why he asked for a relationship with another woman. Only after five days. I'm 20 years older and he swears he loves me and wants to stay with me. He said he didn't want Europe. He wants me to go to Algeria. She wants me to be a Muslim. I blocked him one day and then I unlocked and asked him to see what friends he had on Facebook and he gave me the password after he had all the women he had. But I saw it. He asked for a relationship with a woman only five days after I blocked him. And he said if I blocked him that's why he asked for a relationship with another woman. Only after five days. I'm 20 years older and he swears he loves me and wants to stay with me. He said he didn't want Europe. He wants me to go to Algeria. He wants me to become a Muslim.I blocked him one day and then I unlocked and asked him to see what friends he had on Facebook and he gave me the password after he had all the women he had. But I saw it. He asked for a relationship with a woman only five days after I blocked him. And he said if I blocked him that's why he asked for a relationship with another woman. Only after five days. I'm 20 years older and he swears he loves me and wants to stay with me. He said he didn't want Europe. He wants me to go to Algeria. He wants me to become a MuslimI blocked him one day and then I unlocked and asked him to see what friends he had on Facebook and he gave me the password after he had all the women he had. But I saw it. He asked for a relationship with a woman only five days after I blocked him. And he said if I blocked him that's why he asked for a relationship with another woman. Only after five days. I'm 20 years older and he swears he loves me and wants to stay with me. He said he didn't want Europe. He wants me to go to Algeria. He wants me to be a Muslim.
G
#24
Hi parasmariana1,
His love probably be genuine, who knows,but just be careful, you are very young ,20 years old girl is a big massive  bargain for him.giving you the password of his Facebook is not a sign of a good faith, he can have 3 or 4 Facebook accounts which you can’t get access to.
Good luck to you.
P
#25
not. You got it wrong. He's 33 and I'm 53 is a 29-year difference between us. He gave me his Facebook password but he also has 2 on Instagram and said he doesn't use them. I searched other Facebook addresses and it doesn't. I also searched photos on google but couldn't find it. He admitted to talking to other women but only as friends. I've read a lot of conversations between him and other women. He talked a lot about religion. He's trying to attract a lot of women to Islam. With another woman for more than d not. You got it wrong. He's 33 and I'm 53 is a 29-year difference between us. He gave me his Facebook password but he also has 2 on Instagram and said he doesn't use them. I searched other Facebook addresses and it doesn't. I also searched photos on google but couldn't find it. He admitted to talking to other women but only as friends. I've read a lot of conversations between him and other women. He talked a lot about religion. He's trying to attract a lot of women to Islam.
P
#26
With another 2-year-old Timo woman I read that they had sex online. That was five or four years ago. That was in the past. Now he said I was able to change it a lot. And he wants to live with me in peace and quiet. I am 53 years old, I have 2 children and I am divorced. He's 33 and wants to stay with me. I asked him why he didn't want a woman from Algeria. He said the women of Algeria are demanding. They want to have their own house, take the car and make a lot of money and a good job. I'm talking to him onlWith another 2-year-old Timo woman I read that they had sex online. That was five or four years ago. That was in the past. Now he said I was able to change it a lot. And he wants to live with me in peace and quiet. I am 53 years old, I have 2 children and I am divorced. He's 33 and wants to stay with me. I asked him why he didn't want a woman from Algeria. He said the women of Algeria are demanding. They want to have their own house, take the car and make a lot of money and a good job.
P
#27
You think that's a bad sign because he gave me his Facebook password? He gave it to me so I could trust him? I have very little confidence. I haven't met his family or friends for two years. He just shows me his family when he prays or when he eats and that's it. He asked me for money four times and I sent it. Then I told him that a true Muslim didn't ask a woman for money and apologized and swore he'd give me my money back soon. Is it possible that he swears with his hand on the Koran in front of me? Jura on AlaYou think that's a bad sign because he gave me his Facebook password? He gave it to me so I could trust him? I have very little confidence. I haven't met his family or friends for two years. He just shows me his family when he prays or when he eats and that's it. He asked me for money four times and I sent it. Then I told him that a true Muslim didn't ask a woman for money and apologized and swore he'd give me my money back soon. Is it possible that he swears with his hand on the Koran in front of me?
P
#28
It is possible that he swears to Allah and Muhammad and his family and with his hand on the Koran. Swear he loves me and he's not a thief or a crook. Is it possible that he's so desperate to do these things and yet be a scam? Do you think it's fair of him to show me how men pray in the mosque or how he or his family pray? He's showing me everything webcam. Do you think he loves me? A 53-year-old woman even though I'm a sportswoman and I look much better? Or it doesn't matter to him
G
#29
Hi, probably he do loves you,I was mistaking your age because of your post , in one you said you are 20 years old and in the other one you said you are 53 ,is not a problem let’s go back to your situation : if that was my case I won’t start a relationship with a younger man,love has no age , but if I was in your situation I would be very careful,I know you are living in a very difficult situation but I suppose if you won’t to be with someone should be no headaches,should be smooth ,should be peaceful relation.
He got right to say that Algerian woman are demanding is that means that you will support him financially when he is with you ? In the beginning you will happy you won’t care but as time goes you will fill that you have enough, you had what you want and you won’t need him anymore, you already been married and I think you have good experience.
P
#30
Certainly. We still haven't met and I think that's why i may seem like I love him. Maybe when we see each other, we'll like each other or not. He says to find him a job when he comes to me and after a while we go back to Algeria to live together. I asked him if he wanted to have children and he said yes but I can't have any more children and he let me know that he was going to have another woman to have children with and he'd be happy for me to raise his children.
P
#31
He always tells me that he doesn't approve of me working. He wants me to stay home and take care of his house and his family. He said I wouldn't miss anything and no one would touch a hair on me. I honestly don't know what happened to me that I'm so addicted to him. Use nice words and never speak to me ugly is strange why in reality this does not happen. In any case I don't agree with his ideas. In the future have another woman and I raise her children🤣
P
#32
He and his family, they're very religious. If they are so religious, how could they accept an older, divorced woman with children? I know religious people keep their culture well but he said he doesn't care what people think and talk. And the fact that he wants me to take care of his house and his family like it's a case of a servant. I don't agree with what he wants but I don't know what happens to me that I love him🤣. I think I talked to him too much and he brainwashed me. I feel sorry for him. He is indeed poor and has no future in Algeria. He found in me an empathetic person and takes advantage of this. I think I should abandon him, but I only suffer as long as I think about it. He admits all the mistakes he's made and always apologizes. He asked me for money, talked to other women and many other things. Excuse me for writing you so much but I'm confused and I don't know what to do
G
#33
Hi, sorry to say that ;but this guy sound  silly,how can he have a child with another woman and take it from her for you to adopt???? He should love the woman if he wants to have a child with her ,can you image him having a child with you and after birth he snatches your baby to give it to another woman;rather  than wasting your time with him ask your self this question:why he is trying to twist any solution to be with you????? Is that because he loves you??? I doubt …….
Wadnur
#34
Unless he dont snatch he keeps by her and has himself as father fulfilling his duty (he will be having his heir without harming anyone),or rather adopt legally
G
#35
Exactly, well spotted…… , but the thing here is that he wants to have a biological child,because she is not able to offer him that so he got the idea of having a child somewhere else , brainless  he suggested to have a relation with another woman while he is with her , seriously  this man got no sense of love or respect,reasoning beside the point.
G
#36
Hi traciiii

Every where ,where ever you go , there is bad or good people, not all Algerian men are same,what ever the reasons in his head you should follow your instincts, is good to seek advice ,but you don’t have to follow , i am not going to lie to you but all what XB23 mentioned to you is true until prover otherwise, (when an how honestly I don’t know),just bare in mind  that not all your fingers are same as people are not.
Good luck.
1 member reacted to this post
minabridget
#37
I married an Algerian in London we had two children and moved to spain where he took them to algeria.

Be careful be very careful. charming they are until !!!!
1 member reacted to this post
Y
#38
Hi
I have been in an on line long distance relationship with an Algerian man for a year. At first he love bombed me and everyday told me how much he loved me etc etc.
I have uk and us dual citizenship so looking back on it I was a perfect person for him to scam.
I believed everything he said. It was during Covid lockdown and he was a light to my day.
In June when everything opened up he told me he was getting a visa to Spain. He showed me his expired visa and told me he will easily renew it and meet me in Barcelona. We set a date and made plans and I travelled to Barcelona. When I arrived at the hotel he called me to say his visa had been denied at the airport. He was sad and couldn’t even talk to me.
The next plan was that he wanted to learn English in UK but didn’t have the money for the class. Would I send him money so he could apply for a study visa at a UK language school? He even went to a Place in  Algiers and put me on the phone with a man in an office who told me my boyfriend was applying for a student visa. They needed a copy of my passport. When I refused my boyfriend became angry and stopped texting me for several days.
That was when I had time to wrap my head around the fact he was scamming me.
All our plans to be together were about him getting papers.
This was 3 months ago and he still insists that he is trying to get a visa to see me in Paris. He even had a friend in the UK call me to prove his sincerity.
The Algerian man in the UK has a wife and children in Algeria and is also engaged to a woman in the US.
These men scam.
I am a Muslim convert and 20 years older than my then boyfriend.
I toy with him on What’s Ap. Now I see through him and believe me it’s shameless how these men operate.
One time I phoned him late at night. He was in bed and when he answered the phone he was half asleep. I heard a woman’s voice speaking Arabic in the background and he hung up.
I am sure they are not all bad but honestly, take the advice you have been given in other posts and run away from your boyfriend.
Good luck.
1 member reacted to this post
signorsensitive
#39
All men are not same. You will have to open your eyes ladies. A man is not a man who asks money from a women and if a man asks money from a women, he is not a man. He is just a scam.

I am not able to understand that why ladies could send money to an online friend or lover they never met or even met once/twice. Internet is full of fraud. Hoping to find a good guy can get you with wrong person.

be careful

Regards,
Melissa 41
#40
Ladies! Quit giving men you’ve never met your hard earned money! Not all Algerian men are trying to scam, just like not all American women have blonde hair with blue eyes. You need to trust your gut, meaning if a person doesn’t seem to be honest with you and encourage you to be a better version of yourself then move on. Why are y’all acting like you can only find love online with people you have never met? The borders are open in Algeria, how about you apply for an Algerian visa and come here, don’t waste your money and time on helping a man travel to another country because he called you pretty and told you he loved you a few times.
Btw I’m living in Algeria and happily married to my Algerian husband, there are good guys out there.
Closed

Make your relocation easier with the Algeria expat guide

Forum topics on living in Algeria

In a long distant relationship with an algerian man
Scam for money and love
Getting married in Algeria
I want to a marry with a Algerian girl
How do I find someone in Algeria?
Visiting algeria
Itunes Gift card in Algeria
Met an Algerian Muslim man online and wanting more info.
Getting married with a foreigner
How to make friends in Algeria
Algerian boyfriend
Meeting Algerian women?
Algerian woman marrying a foreigner
Marriage to Algerian
Married to an Algerian woman
Dating an Algerian man
Women and girls in Algeria
I love my Algerian boyfriend
Similar discussions about life in Algeria

Essential services for your expat journey

Choose the best health insurance
Protect your health and get easy access to treatment for expats in Algeria.
Plan your international move
Facilitate your move to Algeria by getting a quote from our top rated movers.
Open a bank account that suits you
Discover the best international banks to manage your money securely.
Send money overseas at the best rate
For fast, safe and secure money transfers to and from Algeria.