Life as a female expat in Dominican Republic

Oh wow, now this will be interesting.  This will be based on my experiences here. I;ve been here almost  15 years (yes time flies when you are having fun) and have always worked here.

I love my life here and there have been adjustments.

1. This  society and culture is about  40 years behind North America in valuing women. There is a long held believe that the man is head of the household. It is still prevalent. Women are expected to take care of home and family and often work as well.

2. Spouse, ex spouse, girlfriend and baby momma abuse is ridiculous here in this country and should never be tolerated. Finally  laws are catching up.

3. As a single expat or "gringa" as you may be called,  you are often seen as rich or as a visa opportunity.  Keep your guard up and if it seems to good to be true...it is!

4. IF you ever feel unsafe or threatened in a relationship, get out.

5.  In most places you can get around safely and easily.  Until you know where and when that is,  don;t go alone.  Ask other women.  If a local won't go there,  you should not either.

6. Get to know other expats in the area you live.  Make sure you have an emergency contact on your phone in case of issues! 

7. Learn Spanish asap!

8.  It can be a lot of fun living here.  This country is very very social!  Get involved and get to know people.

9.  Do not accept if a man tells you he is single,  verify!  You do not want to date a man who already has a wife here.

10 Work opportunities have tended to be traditionally female type jobs.  They are also underpaid. There have been changes to this, slow but sure.

11. Girl tax - yup it exists here. For example as a woman going to a mechanic I will be quote and charged more than a man.  So,  you deal with it. Send a man you trust to get it fixed.

Support networks:

1. Here, this site.
2.  FB local groups online
3. Your local watering hole, you can often meet a lot of expat there.
4. There are not a lot of support services offered here by gov't or church that would be of much assistance to expats.

Story:

Once I was painting my  house I rented.  My neighborhood kids stopped by to see what I was doing. 

Asked:   why are you  painting. 

Response:  because I want to paint my place.

Little boy asks: Why? Don't you have a man to do that? That is mans work!

Yes, read & learn, but there is so much more to it. When i was about 10 or 11, I used to sit on the floor when my mom had her girl friend over for coffee, beers or whatever. It did not take long to realize that their vocabulary was foreign to me. When their  aunt was visiting or Mary hasn't arrived etc.  I realized then that females were far from being male. my couriosity led me into a life long search for understanding of how different we are. Impossible to learn enough, but sufficient enough to enjoy & relish the difference. For a woman to move to a very different culture will require a sense of self worth & an ability to laugh at the sometimes not so subtle approaches used by the local dudes.   We all want & need friendships & more. Dance, laugh, have adventures, but above all, have patience, the good stuff is here.   My reading of the ladies Home Journal & Good Housekeeping only gave me some recipes, never any insight into the feminine psyche.  ( way before Cosmo, thank goodness). I was lucky to still love women.

Planner aa usual you say it so well....what can be added? Not much.....

We have been hanging here for three years...Initially the marriage proposals and hopeful boyfriends made me crazy! One ol guy around 80 offered me marriage 3 times in two weeks saying he didn't have a house or money but he had his canuco? garden space to feed me and rhat he would make peace wirh my nasty neighbor for me! Wouldn't take no as answer. Finally had to send my Dominican brother to stop him.Funny now but was super annoying then. Now they all leave me alone because they finally realize NOT LOOKING....Some are starting to stare at my daughter now though..Mama bear says "don't even think about it".....

Other than that its been ok. I am happy to let the guys be macho and carry the heavy stuff especially when its hot and distance is involved...Water bottles for example. Or to have them do the gardening again why not? If it makes them feel good and saves me hard work in the heat...go for it! More than willing to accept that. On the other hand also enjoy seeing their faces when I do something that is only for 'men" like painting whole interior of my house or recaulking the sink among other things! Lol....

Once your here for awhile they figure you out and seem to accept you as you are. Of course we don't do the party scene or other things to make guys think we want something.Nor do I ever do anything that flaunts money or supposed wealth. I surprise neighbors sometimes by not having cable or other things even the poor ones have. Just tell them I can't afford it and then they are like "wow your poorer than us!"...Thats good for me because then not a robbery target. They see me walk everywhere not dressed fancy etc...I prove my point. My funds go to other things we need and my rescue work...They don't realize that but its ok...I an the poor kind helpful neighbor and that's fine with me! Lol.

Also EVERYTHING Planner said!  She has been my go to source of wisdom here! Thank you Planner...

Can't think of anything else especially after long night of doggy interruptions....Oh yeah maybe YOU should get a dog if worried about security or lonely lol....

You are a smart woman on the right road to living well here. Feel free to PM me for any questions or thoughts you may have.