BTW, This came from Wales.............
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies "just in case".
Canada doesn't have any alert levels.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defence cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Terror threat Levels across the Continents
Love it 
We Scots are known for our gentle nature:D
My old man used to relate some great Scot jokes during his time. One went like this. "Three Scotsmen went to Church on a Sunday morning. When the pastor came round with the hat one fainted and the other two carried him out"
musicman wrote:My old man used to relate some great Scot jokes during his time. One went like this. "Three Scotsmen went to Church on a Sunday morning. When the pastor came round with the hat one fainted and the other two carried him out"
Thats the English you are talking about 
Music man; I had to copy and send that one. GREAT!! (smile for Alliecat 
MM, glad the South Africans are not amongst that lot, perhaps because they always on 'strike' and never know whats happening around them 
jswwjw wrote:Music man; I had to copy and send that one. GREAT!! (smile for Alliecat
Appreciate it! (sticking out my tongue at jsw 
)
You guys are free to conjure up whatever lurks in your minds related to the same analogy for South Africa or any other nation that has not already been addressed in my original post.
We still enjoy some freedoms on this blog. Thanks Julian!
As for me I would say that a suitable terror alert for South Africa could be, "Give us more condoms"
The new Italian Army tanks have 6 gears, 1 gear for forward and 5 for reverse (retreat)
...and they are all manufactured by the Berlusconi Corporation
In defense of the Italians, they're lovers not fighters 
Some time ago Tony Blair was on a good will trip in Africa. With him was Gordon Brown and Alister Darling.
Mr Blair in a generous mood suggested throwing out a 20 pound note as it 'Would make some one very happy'.
Mr Darling clever man that he is, suggested throwing 4 5 pound notes out and 'Make 4 people very happy'.
Gordon Brown being a man of money said 'These people are very poor, so if we throw 20 1 pound coins out, it will make 20 people very happy.
The pilot who had been listening to this conversation turned to his copilot and said 'If we throw those three misers out we will make millions of people extremely happy'.
Now this has made excellent reading and lots of laughs - thanks to all for the entertainment
Alliecat wrote:In defense of the Italians, they're lovers not fighters
Oh sure, the LOVE to FIGHT
jillndave wrote:Some time ago Tony Blair was on a good will trip in Africa. With him was Gordon Brown and Alister Darling.
Mr Blair in a generous mood suggested throwing out a 20 pound note as it 'Would make some one very happy'.
Mr Darling clever man that he is, suggested throwing 4 5 pound notes out and 'Make 4 people very happy'.
Gordon Brown being a man of money said 'These people are very poor, so if we throw 20 1 pound coins out, it will make 20 people very happy.
The pilot who had been listening to this conversation turned to his copilot and said 'If we throw those three misers out we will make millions of people extremely happy'.
and what would that take the terror threat level up to, i wonder?
One of the years (in south africa) we had 'another one of our HIV campaigns' our government handed out pamphlets with yes you guessed it a condom stapled onto the pamphlet and thru the condom - how cool was that ... for us health care workers that was the joke of the whole campaign.We were totally sure the community would try out this 'new product'. 
sure, ive heard of one who tried tremendously hard to stretch it across his piano, successfully, since he didnt own an organ and his wife still got preggy
so much for the instruction manual.....
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