What is it like in Jordan?

1. I'm a woman
Then act like a woman, do as you are told an follow him.

2. I was born in Australia but I look very asian.
Very asian? Does that mean half-asian like Olivia Munn or a Fobi?

3. I"m a short
A short what?

4. I only speak english (he speaks Arabic)
Learn Arabic, even a little helps.

5. We're not married ..YET! and
He sounds too good for you.

6. Saw the DFAT travel warnings..not good.
Written by someone in Canberra who is over-cautious in order to cover their arse. Jordan is fantastic.

SO my question is, should I stay home in my safe little bubble or risk it all for love?
Of course you should.

What can an asian dwarf expect in Anman? Do people automatically assume I"m his maid? Can I go out alone? Do I have to bow to him?

Are you really a midget or just short. People will assume you are his maid, so make sure you always bow to him. Everywhere.

its more personal questions that you have to ask yourself rather than ask us here... "to follow your love of your life or just stay in your little bubble".

But if you want to learn about Jordan, its quiet & safe country here most of people know English but it doesn't hurt to learn some Arabic before coming here.

Leapoffaith wrote:

The love of my life is going to Jordan to work next year.
He wants me to come with him.
I'm freaking out because :-
1. I'm a woman
2. I was born in Australia but I look very asian.
3. I"m a short
4. I only speak english (he speaks Arabic)
5. We're not married ..YET! and
6. Saw the DFAT travel warnings..not good.

SO my question is, should I stay home in my safe little bubble or risk it all for love?

What can an asian dwarf expect in Anman? Do people automatically assume I"m his maid? Can I go out alone? Do I have to bow to him?

First time I ever came to Jordan,two weeks later the US invaded Iraq,a close neighbor to Jordan.I wasn't scared.I left for a few months(had to take care of some business in the US),and returned to my husband here in Jordan.No one can tell you what you should do.Do what your heart tells you to do.Personally,I love it here and feel quite safe here--especially as a woman.BTW:Jordanian's are accustomed to seeing a lot of different people here as we have a lot of tourists come to Jordan.All I can say is,life is too short to stay in 'safe bubbles'.Peace.

Thanks umhail and Naji,

If only it was that simple. What's holding me back is ignorance. I only know of Jordan from what I see on the news and it's not good. Hard to find any information other than from a perspective of a tourist. Technically I am one, but planning to stay there for 1 year and not 2 weeks.

Kimbosman

You sound like a dream catch! If only I was single *SIGH*

hi leap

tell you the truth, its safe over here, so just ignore these warnings

you might be mistakenly "assumed" as his maid (out of ignorance), but usually maids serve a family not a single guy so don't worry, actually i know a few jordanians married to asians, mainly chinese. ive never heard them complain.

as for you being short, i dont know what kind of people you will meet, but in general, its forbidden in islam to mock or even make fun of how gods creates us, but thats not always the case, there is always people who breaks this rule

and maids dont bow to anyone over here, ive never heard of that during my 7 year stay in amman, its also forbidden in islam, you only kneel and bow to God

Leapoffaith wrote:

Thanks umhail and Naji,

If only it was that simple. What's holding me back is ignorance. I only know of Jordan from what I see on the news and it's not good. Hard to find any information other than from a perspective of a tourist. Technically I am one, but planning to stay there for 1 year and not 2 weeks.

Fantastic comment by JackJones.I want to add this:Never,Ever,believe what you see on what I call "tel-lie-vision".It's your life and the decision is ultimately up to you.All I can say is,if I had lived in fear,I would have missed out on the greatest love of my life(9 years married).,and met the best friends I've ever had(his very large extended family),all whom I trust with my life.

jackjones wrote:

hi leap

tell you the truth, its safe over here, so just ignore these warnings

you might be mistakenly "assumed" as his maid (out of ignorance), but usually maids serve a family not a single guy so don't worry, actually i know a few jordanians married to asians, mainly chinese. ive never heard them complain.

as for you being short, i dont know what kind of people you will meet, but in general, its forbidden in islam to mock or even make fun of how gods creates us, but thats not always the case, there is always people who breaks this rule

and maids dont bow to anyone over here, ive never heard of that during my 7 year stay in amman, its also forbidden in islam, you only kneel and bow to God

Fantastic comment Jack.

HI
As a Jordan American male I advice U to marry him before coming to Jordan and aslo being an asian is not a problem I know many Jordanian married to Asians specially filipinas and they are very happy
U welcome to e mail me
sunhinyyyyy@yahoo.com
I will be glad to help.
any one else like to contact me about any matter or for friendship PLS feel free to do so
take care and GOD BLESS
bye

a very wild idea might be to actually visit Jordan for a couple of weeks and see how you feel about it ...

I have a fully furnished apartment in west Amman 3 bedroom 2 bath for rent if U or any one else like to rent it pls contact me 0798 214 770
thanks and have a great day

Hi davidoluv!

Could you please post in classifieds?

Thanks
Armand

Jordan is save specially for women. No discrimination for your length (short or tall). Many Arabian women are 150 cm tall. and they are charm. People here automatically will consider you as his wife, but don't tell that you are not his wife. Make your close friends from the expats in Jordan.
Welcome to you in Jordan

Hi all

thanks for your insights, it's reassuring to know.
As for going to visit him for 2 weeks to find out,I don't think it's the same as living there for a year, so it's pointless.

Like any country, it's wonderful to visit for a few weeks, but it's different to stay there for months and months.

As long as it's fairly safe, then I suppose I 've got nothing to lose right?

Leapoooooo Go ahead. You will gain a lot by this visit. See you in Amman

I'm not so sure about Chinese wives of Jordanian men in Jordan not complaining! That's news to me. Whenever we are there I hear lots of complaints from them. They say people refer to them as "aswad" (black) and talk down to them, sometimes from within their husband's families. They do complain about being treated like maids when they go out to shop alone. It's not like being Asian in Australia. And they are all self employed. They couldn't get paid work.

Mind you, these are all pretty independent people. Even if you are happy to hang out with the family, my advice is not to expect too much. There's members of my family who have not even sat in a room with me, let alone spoken to me, in what is now getting on for nearly 30 years. They literally leave the house or room if I am part of the visiting family. When I was in my 20s I thought this quite insulting. So much for the brotherhood/sisterhood of Islam. Now I just laugh.

Hello deb568,
You have mentioned a lot of untrues. Never happened that Jordanian people have color discrimination. Because a lot of Arab people are black or semi black. Yes Arab People have gender discrimination, if the woman marry an Arab guy. But if she is wife to non Arab guy, there is nothing to fear about. Also, some Arab families have no such discrimination at all. It depends on their cultures. Even some of them have western culture.
Anyhow, don't agree with me. I am just clarify the point

deb568 wrote:

I'm not so sure about Chinese wives of Jordanian men in Jordan not complaining! That's news to me. Whenever we are there I hear lots of complaints from them. They say people refer to them as "aswad" (black) and talk down to them, sometimes from within their husband's families. They do complain about being treated like maids when they go out to shop alone. It's not like being Asian in Australia. And they are all self employed. They couldn't get paid work.

Mind you, these are all pretty independent people. Even if you are happy to hang out with the family, my advice is not to expect too much. There's members of my family who have not even sat in a room with me, let alone spoken to me, in what is now getting on for nearly 30 years. They literally leave the house or room if I am part of the visiting family. When I was in my 20s I thought this quite insulting. So much for the brotherhood/sisterhood of Islam. Now I just laugh.

Then 1.You either married into a very bad family or 2.If so,I'm sorry for you because as for my expeirence,the party doesn't get started until I arrive! OR 3.Your story is full of untruths.

omrhmdy wrote:

Hello deb568,
You have mentioned a lot of untrues. Never happened that Jordanian people have color discrimination. Because a lot of Arab people are black or semi black. Yes Arab People have gender discrimination, if the woman marry an Arab guy. But if she is wife to non Arab guy, there is nothing to fear about. Also, some Arab families have no such discrimination at all. It depends on their cultures. Even some of them have western culture.
Anyhow, don't agree with me. I am just clarify the point

Are you seriously dreaming? Do you really think that every Jordanian has no prejudice against people based on their race? Well, that's the same surely amongst all races, that some people don't discriminate on the basis of race and others do. My impression was the fairer the skin, the more it is prized. And nowhere more so in West Amman. Asian girls have a double whammy to contend with. Not only do some people not like the idea of mixing Arab and Asian blood, but for sure they won't be automatically thinking the girl is the man's wife, not if they move in a part of the culture where maids are the norm.

If anyone marrying into an Arab family believes everyone in the family will be delighted with their family member's choice, they are completely deluded. Your experiences are no doubt different to mine.

Why bring wives of non Arab guys into it? I thought the subject was foreigners marrying into local Arab families? As for gender discrimination, a significant number of women who have ever worked, in the West, in a male dominated office will know all about the glass ceiling and gender discrimination.

umhalil wrote:

Then 1.You either married into a very bad family or 2.If so,I'm sorry for you because as for my experience,the party doesn't get started until I arrive! OR 3.Your story is full of untruths.

What has my family in law got to do with this topic? I think insulting them is uncalled for. And the one in my family who chooses not to meet me - that is between him and Allah and I no longer care.

What exactly do you think cannot be true about what I have said?

We all have our experiences to share and imho it isn't a picnic being a foreigner in Amman.

deb568 wrote:

I'm not so sure about Chinese wives of Jordanian men in Jordan not complaining! That's news to me. Whenever we are there I hear lots of complaints from them. They say people refer to them as "aswad" (black) and talk down to them, sometimes from within their husband's families. They do complain about being treated like maids when they go out to shop alone. It's not like being Asian in Australia. And they are all self employed. They couldn't get paid work.

Mind you, these are all pretty independent people. Even if you are happy to hang out with the family, my advice is not to expect too much. There's members of my family who have not even sat in a room with me, let alone spoken to me, in what is now getting on for nearly 30 years. They literally leave the house or room if I am part of the visiting family. When I was in my 20s I thought this quite insulting. So much for the brotherhood/sisterhood of Islam. Now I just laugh.

The bit for me that just SO doesn't ring of any truth is when you say that going on THIRTY YEARS you've put up with a family that literally LEAVES the room or HOUSE when you come.That is beyond rude,and I've never known any Jordanian family to do that.I think there are rules to our postings here..no politics or religion.Could be wrong on that.But I've never known any Muslim family to do as you say.You put up with it(FOR THIRTY  YEARS no less!),so I wouldn't go complaining about it now.

umhalil wrote:

The bit for me that just SO doesn't ring of any truth is when you say that going on THIRTY YEARS you've put up with a family that literally LEAVES the room or HOUSE when you come.That is beyond rude,and I've never known any Jordanian family to do that.I think there are rules to our postings here..no politics or religion.Could be wrong on that.But I've never known any Muslim family to do as you say.You put up with it(FOR THIRTY  YEARS no less!),so I wouldn't go complaining about it now.

I didn't say family. I said "some family members". Two men, in a family who number hundreds, who don't accept me. At first I was quite shocked. Now I couldn't care less. There is a possibility, for any foreigner marrying into a conservative, racially homogenous Arab family, that one or more people in that family won't accept you.

I have no choice but to "put up with it", as you so insensitively put it. It's their choice, not mine.   And I am not complaining, merely pointing out that living as a foreigner in Jordan may not be the bed of roses that you insist on thinking it is going to be. You never know, your idealism and positivity may see you through. I wish you the best of British luck, something tells me you are going to need it.

deb568 wrote:

umhalil wrote:

The bit for me that just SO doesn't ring of any truth is when you say that going on THIRTY YEARS you've put up with a family that literally LEAVES the room or HOUSE when you come.That is beyond rude,and I've never known any Jordanian family to do that.I think there are rules to our postings here..no politics or religion.Could be wrong on that.But I've never known any Muslim family to do as you say.You put up with it(FOR THIRTY  YEARS no less!),so I wouldn't go complaining about it now.

I didn't say family. I said "some family members". Two men, in a family who number hundreds, who don't accept me. At first I was quite shocked. Now I couldn't care less. There is a possibility, for any foreigner marrying into a conservative, racially homogenous Arab family, that one or more people in that family won't accept you.

I have no choice but to "put up with it", as you so insensitively put it. It's their choice, not mine.   And I am not complaining, merely pointing out that living as a foreigner in Jordan may not be the bed of roses that you insist on thinking it is going to be. You never know, your idealism and positivity may see you through. I wish you the best of British luck, something tells me you are going to need it.

I dunno.This just blows my mind because EVERYONE in my family adore me.I'm foreign born and we have another wife who is also forgein born.Family is family.I'm just very sorry you happen to have a couple of donkey's in yours.I've lived in Jordan for 9 years.Quite happy here.If this family of mine lived on the MOON,that's where I'd live as well,I love them THAT much.I feel for ya.You seem to have a good handle on it anyway.Just keep ignoring these pinheaded family members.I don't know about anyone else..but our family(and we have A LOT of family),are a unit.If there is a problem with one family member(sickness,or any kind of trouble)the family works to solve any problems or take care of the sick.I know if my husband is EVER a jerk to me,I can go to any of my family and they'll set him straight again.They are as much my 'protection',as he is.Peace.

umhalil wrote:

I dunno.This just blows my mind because EVERYONE in my family adore me.I'm foreign born and we have another wife who is also forgein born.Family is family.I'm just very sorry you happen to have a couple of donkey's in yours.I've lived in Jordan for 9 years.Quite happy here.If this family of mine lived on the MOON,that's where I'd live as well,I love them THAT much.I feel for ya.You seem to have a good handle on it anyway.Just keep ignoring these pinheaded family members.I don't know about anyone else..but our family(and we have A LOT of family),are a unit.If there is a problem with one family member(sickness,or any kind of trouble)the family works to solve any problems or take care of the sick.I know if my husband is EVER a jerk to me,I can go to any of my family and they'll set him straight again.They are as much my 'protection',as he is.Peace.

Did i say it was my husband treating me like the two family members I referred to? No. Nor do I hold him responsible for another man's actions. Why would I?

Sisterhood among Muslims, imho, extends to sisters people "meet" online, as well as face to face. I haven't had to put up with cyber bullying of the kind you have dished out to me before. But presumably you have different lower standards for how you treat your sisters online than I do? I certainly wouldn't ever accuse my sisters of lying about their experiences in a public forum. I for one am glad that of the Muslim sisters I have ever met both on and offline, very few of them have behaved towards me in the non sisterly manner you have.

deb568 wrote:

umhalil wrote:

I dunno.This just blows my mind because EVERYONE in my family adore me.I'm foreign born and we have another wife who is also forgein born.Family is family.I'm just very sorry you happen to have a couple of donkey's in yours.I've lived in Jordan for 9 years.Quite happy here.If this family of mine lived on the MOON,that's where I'd live as well,I love them THAT much.I feel for ya.You seem to have a good handle on it anyway.Just keep ignoring these pinheaded family members.I don't know about anyone else..but our family(and we have A LOT of family),are a unit.If there is a problem with one family member(sickness,or any kind of trouble)the family works to solve any problems or take care of the sick.I know if my husband is EVER a jerk to me,I can go to any of my family and they'll set him straight again.They are as much my 'protection',as he is.Peace.

Did i say it was my husband treating me like the two family members I referred to? No. Nor do I hold him responsible for another man's actions. Why would I?

Sisterhood among Muslims, imho, extends to sisters people "meet" online, as well as face to face. I haven't had to put up with cyber bullying of the kind you have dished out to me before. But presumably you have different lower standards for how you treat your sisters online than I do? I certainly wouldn't ever accuse my sisters of lying about their experiences in a public forum. I for one am glad that of the Muslim sisters I have ever met both on and offline, very few of them have behaved towards me in the non sisterly manner you have.

Er.,I was talking about MY husband,not yours.Please re-read my post to you.I never wrote with any harmful intentions towards you,so with that I will bid you a fond farewell and not reply back to you again as it seems what I write has been mistaken for other than what I intended.("Cyber bullying"??? WHERE have I EVER cyber bullied you?Wait.Don't answer,because I will not reply back)~~~umhalil