Jordanian man and American women

Sorry to hear that.

No it doesn't. If it had to do with his culture:

1. He wouldn't have had sex with her before marrying her.

2. He wouldn't have left after finding out, he would have married her.

Sorry but your dad is just an indecent person.

I just read that they frown upon people having babies before marriage in Jordan and in his country they could possibly be put in jail. Maybe he was afraid that his family would disown him? Either way it's wrong to put a child and mother through this.

Brg12392 wrote:

I just read that they frown upon people having babies before marriage in Jordan and in his country they could possibly be put in jail.

Sure but he wasn't in his country and regardless if it's “frowned” upon, the right thing to do is give your child a healthy home to live in and marry the mom. I know many people who were in the same situation. Many many many people. And they all got married. They took responsibility for their actions.

Nobody was gonna do anything to him in America, and his family would have accepted the situation sooner or later.

Ugh, this is heartbreaking. I'm unbelievably sorry that happened to you and your mother... 💔

I'm a Canadian married to an Arab. I lived in the Middle East for ten years, and I have two Palestinian daughters... I'm also a Muslim convert. I can tell you, it is an unfortunate and common occurrence for Muslim men, and Arab men, to use foreign women for sex. Premarital sex is completely illegal in the Middle East, and yes you can be arrested for it or worse. A resulting pregnancy is obviously undeniable evidence of committing a crime in Arab and Muslim culture. If your father was Muslim and your mother was not, and they had premarital sex, he likely had no intention of staying with her. He used her and left. Whatever his motives, it's truly irrelevant as his behaviour was abhorrent, and to ignore his own child for the duration of their life is unforgivable and a far larger crime than having sex in the first place.

Sadly, men leaving a woman when she's pregnant is not uncommon, in any culture. If you're seeking to forgive your father by finding an excuse for his behaviour, his culture is no excuse. The laws against premarital sex in the Middle East are rooted in religious values and beliefs, and the punishment for him abandoning his own child far outweigh any punishment for having sex outside of marriage.

Rather than seeking a means of understanding and forgiving your father, I'd reflect on what your mother was put through and the sacrifices she undoubtedly made to raise you alone, and be sure not to make the same mistakes. If you're seeking a sense of identity and tie to your Arab roots, maybe make some Arab friends, go to a local mosque and ask for someone from the Muslim community near you to teach you more about where your father came from and the values he should have upheld when he met your mother. My heart goes out to you and her.