Searching for a school in Berlin for my Dyslexic, Autistic child.

Member since 22 September 2019

ErynnSchandingMember23 May 2022 18:43:07

Later this summer, we will be permanently moving to Berlin. Despite speaking virtually no German, and living in USA, we will be German citizens. My children will be 19 and 11 yrs when we arrive. Both have been diagnosed with high functioning Autism, ADHD and dyslexia. My son just graduated with honors from high school. My 11 yr old received special education services in a public school, main stream classroom, but needed more support than was available and has been homeschooling for the last 2 years. Our German is basic but we are taking classes. I’m looking for continuing education for my 19 yr old who is interested in writing & voice over work and am also looking for a school for my 11 yr old. My 11 yr old is intelligent but severely dyslexic and below grade level for reading, writing and math (and that’s in native English language.) Our budget most likely won’t allow for private school. We are also neighborhood hunting and would like an lgbtq friendly, affordable area.

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beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

Member since 08 August 2010

Germany & Singapore Expert

beppiGermany/Singapore Expert23 May 2022 20:02:52

15608

You are asking for a lot, even in cosmopolitan and open Berlin!

Let's start with schooling for the younger boy:

Home schooling is not possible in Germany (by law!), and from what you describe your son won't make it in a normal German school - not for his lack of German (which will of course hinder him in the first year or so), but because of reading, writing and maths, which are all expected at that age and there would not be any special support.

If international schools are out for financial reasons, his only option is a public special needs school ("Sonderschule"). As far as I know, none of these teach in English - and most only up to "Hauptschule" level, which leads to apprenticeship in a manual trade. I don't know the "Sonderschule" scene in Berlin, but this webpage will give you further information (and a list of schools), some of it even in English:

https://www.berlin.de/sen/bjf/en/educat … nal-focus/

For the older boy, it is not clear to me what you are looking for. At that age,he could enter university - provided he has a high school certificate accepted as equivalent to a German "Abitur" and the required language level (usually C1). There is also a number of other options, which are too complex to explain here. "Interested in writing & voice over work" might be too unspecific, but I know 19-years-olds seldom have clearer goals for life.

Since autists do not take change easily, I doubt the wisdom of your planned move. My daughter is mildly autistic, too, and I had to postpone my dream of further international jobs until after she is out of the house.

As for the "neighbourhood hunting": Forget it and search whatever and wherever!

Berlin already had one of the most difficult housing markets before thousands of Ukrainian refugee families started arriving - with a severe lack of residential property for rent or sale and skyrocketing prices. If, after a few months of searching, you find something half-decent, count yourself lucky!

If you are picky with location and/or amenities AND need a place fast, you should probably budget double the market rate or more to find suitable options (and if you need a furnished place, triple!).

ErynnSchanding Member

Member since 22 September 2019

ErynnSchandingMember26 May 2022 20:22:36

Beppi, Thank you for your reply. There are many good reasons why staying in the US is not an option for us. We have moved a lot, including internationally and my kids do well. We are looking to stop traveling and put down roots. I am open to German cities other than Berlin. I chose Berlin because I spent my childhood there, still have some distant relatives living there, it has great public transportation and it’s LBGTQ safe.

Any recommendations for us as we start searching for a flat to rent?

TominStuttgart Germany Expert

Member since 19 March 2012

TominStuttgartGermany Expert26 May 2022 21:25:01

2795

Beppi, Thank you for your reply. There are many good reasons why staying in the US is not an option for us. We have moved a lot, including internationally and my kids do well. We are looking to stop traveling and put down roots. I am open to German cities other than Berlin. I chose Berlin because I spent my childhood there, still have some distant relatives living there, it has great public transportation and it’s LBGTQ safe.

Any recommendations for us as we start searching for a flat to rent?

- @ErynnSchanding

One might look around at lots of other options in Germany. If one is familiar with the city and has relatives then those are strong factors. But while no other city is so large, most German cities are safe and most have better public transportation than Berlin which is known for having one of the most decrepit systems in the country. And the big cities problems have increased over the years. People who lived there a few decades ago might find the atmosphere has drastically changed. It is no longer the cheap, laid back, place full of artists and alternative scenes anymore. Now it is expensive and cut throat where a lot of desperate people are competing to survive. A bit like someone going to San Francisco and expecting to find hippies and the summer of love vibe which is now more characterized by homelessness and beggars.

Dricke Member

Member since 19 June 2022

DrickeMember19 June 2022 11:36:57

I'm a bit late to reply but I just wanted to chime in ErynnSchanding because your situation is close to home. My child is 11 and has mild ASD with adjustment difficulties. We opted to go for the German education system because we were planning to stay longterm. We arrived with all our paperwork (school reports and psych reports), neither the coordination centre nor the school itself were interested in them so we assumed they would be considered as part of the medical examination we were told children have before beginning school.

We were assigned to an evangelical school in the city centre. After a few weeks they contacted us because our child was struggling to adapt. We reminded them of the diagnosis and they asked if we had hid it because we were ashamed? We explained there was no shame associated with the diagnosis in our school system where our child attended a mainstream school and received a little assistance where necessary. But they didn't have the desire, knowledge or resources to help him. Eventually the relationship broke down as they consistently and viciously engaged in victim-blaming for natural behaviours of a child with mild ASD.

We're leaving the country as the result of this experience. My child is so depressed and filled with self-loathing as a result of this treatment that it breaks my heart. I can't allow myself to raise child in a place where children with disabilities are still considered 'unfit.'

Please do what you can to contact the school and school authorities to ensure they understand your child's needs and are genuinely able to accommodate them. Sorry this reply is so long but if I had been aware of the system earlier I would have made drastically different choices.

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beppi Germany/Singapore Expert

Member since 08 August 2010

Germany & Singapore Expert

beppiGermany/Singapore Expert19 June 2022 18:55:24

15608

Dricke: I suggest that most of your bad experience was due to misunderstandings and wrong expectations towards the German public school system - which, as wrote above, is not set up (nor expected) to take care of special needs of individual students. As I mentioned before, there is a parallel system of special needs schools ("Sonderschule") - and there are also other ways to arrange for any needed support (the health insurance subsidizes a lot of such efforts).

As an example: There was a physically disabled child in my daughter's school, who needed 1-on-1 supervision 100% of the time. The parents had to organise that separately from the school, but the supervisor was allowed on premises and in all lessons. That way the student could attend a normal school - and she was actually pretty popular among her classmates.