Filipinas who develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner

423POSTS

12 years ago

mugtech wrote:
FilAmericanMom wrote:
.

This went on and on, and just wasting our time

Sound familiar?

...i honestly believed, that the title should be "Landlords' Measly Fil-Am daughter who acts like ****head to their (mother's) tenant's complaints on their poorly-maintained but highly priced properties, and then went on bashing them on the internet".

1 member reacted to this post

mugtech ViP

4732POSTS

12 years ago

#42

Popolocroix wrote:
the title should be "Landlords' Measly Fil-Am daughter who acts like ****head to their (mother's) tenant's complaints on their poorly-maintained but highly priced properties, and then went on bashing them on the internet".

BIG IMPROVEMENT

1 member reacted to this post

protogama Active member

78POSTS

12 years ago

#43

mugtech wrote:
Popolocroix wrote:
the title should be "Landlords' Measly Fil-Am daughter who acts like ****head to their (mother's) tenant's complaints on their poorly-maintained but highly priced properties, and then went on bashing them on the internet".

BIG IMPROVEMENT

Pheeeew... Such a relief! Load off a chest really

Filippok Member

18POSTS

12 years ago

#44

I constantly see their attitude changing here and there. Some becomes "queens" even without getting married. The fact they have a foreigner bf makes them feel special and i'm sorry to say all that written on their faces. Nose up-and go.
Once me and my wife had such arrogant girl sitting next to us in a resto with a 70 y/o "boyfriend" and she was staring and staring at us non-stop.
I adressed the guy. I was simply curious if his gf knew that it was so impolite to stare at people that way. He made her a comment and apologized saying "Ah man these gals! A year ago I met her she was a lovely friendly Pinay, now things changed for the opposite. YOU KNOW". No, I don't know, man! Becuase in european culture a women bahaves the way her man lets to behave. If you won't teach her some manners who would do that for you?!

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mugtech ViP

4732POSTS

12 years ago

#45

Filippok wrote:
.
Once me and my wife had such arrogant girl sitting next to us in a resto with a 70 y/o "boyfriend" and she was staring and staring at us non-stop.

Yes, how painful and invasive.

GuestPoster254 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#46

Popolocroix wrote:
...i honestly believed, that the title should be "Landlords' Measly Fil-Am daughter who acts like ****head to their (mother's) tenant's complaints on their poorly-maintained but highly priced properties, and then went on bashing them on the internet".

Why do you say it's poorly maintained when you haven't been there or seen it?

The property was not meant to be rented out originally. It was built as a vacation house for our own family. So it is really well maintained. When my parents retired at 54 and 55, building houses on their lands became their "hobby". They are both busy bodies and are green thumbs (which to my dismay the latter of which didn't inherit).

The house in Tagaytay was the staging area for my wedding. Our relatives vacationing from abroad stay there. It had been a venue for their group outings with their friends at Couples for Christ. The house is always clean, appliances are in good working order, and the grounds well kept.

GuestPoster254 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#47

mugtech wrote:
Filippok wrote:
.
Once me and my wife had such arrogant girl sitting next to us in a resto with a 70 y/o "boyfriend" and she was staring and staring at us non-stop.

Yes, how painful and invasive.

THE BEST THING TO DO IS STARE BACK WITH A GLARE AND WATCH HOW FAST SHE GETS THE MESSAGE...I bet she will look the other way or change chairs...Works 9 out of 10 times...

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mugtech ViP

4732POSTS

12 years ago

#48

Or you could ask them, since they seem to be fans of yours, if they would like your autograph. Such is the life of the rich and famous.

2 members reacted to this post

protogama Active member

78POSTS

12 years ago

#49

mugtech wrote:
Or you could ask them, since they seem to be fans of yours, if they would like your autograph. Such is the life of the rich and famous.

Spot on

kaitlynco Member

2POSTS

12 years ago

#50

I think so too, madame. I've encountered so much of them, mostly in Manila and popular vacation spots. They would look at me as if that makes them classy. I think they are shallow and cheap. But not all of them are like that. I know some who are really nice even before they marry a foreigner, and they're beautiful, too!

Peter Clark Serial expat

242POSTS

12 years ago

#51

Yes its a strange thing when my wife gets the full stare bussiness and i wonder what they are thinking, maybe its a bit of envy or study what makes them more attractive to foreigners than they are....it is certainly considered very rude to stare, feel sorry for them ?

If you don't want to change seats or walk away then face them and ask if you can help them in any way........humble approach works better than irritation

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Miss_Kiki Active member

67POSTS

12 years ago

#52

I wonder what that girl's background is...

What I'm trying to say is... (I mean no offense to anyone. This is based purely on my observation and this doesn't only happen in the Philippines, it occurs in other countries as well such as Indonesia, Singapore and Hong Kong etc.) sometimes, people like that tenant (maybe) are the ones who came from a "marginalized" background. So, once they taste the good life, they become "lady dogs" and walk around thinking they're all that. That's also because they've stumbled upon their wealth and status without working hard for it. tsk tsk.

On the other hand, those Filipinas who are married to foreigners and are still wonderful people, they are the educated ones and they know how to handle themselves well. Don't you think so?

But yeah, there's also the case/problem of education and prostitution and poverty and blah blah blah... the list continues...
So I guess, the good thing to do is, tell her off and get her off the property. You should also choose the people whom you'll allow to rent your place. I'm sure you did that but it's always safer to double check.

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Ponani Active member

49POSTS

12 years ago

#53

Wonderingsalsero, I just have to respond to this. It is probably good you have chosen to leave the Philippines because I feel comfortable in speculating that many of your negative experiences are a direct result of your coming to the PI with an elitist, my culture I s superior attitude. We came to their country, we are the ones who must adjust, adapt. I am not saying accept everything - I have pretty much chosen to not participate in the graft/bribery that can occur (which is the exception not the rule, by the way).
Filipinos are and have been great warriors. My Vietnam experiences showed the Philippine defense forces were excellent. Ask any WWII vet what they thought of the Philippine Scouts. True, some of the other forces performed less then admirably. So would any 17 year old kid from the US boonies who joined less then 6 months prior to wars outbreak, trained with a stick rather then a rifle, had no real uniform, etc.
Life everywhere is what we make it, where ever we are. For 62 years I have had great experiences in Hawai'i, in the Philippines, in Singapore, everywhere. Why? Flexibility, adaptability, acceptance and a positive attitude.

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khryzthinne Active member

34POSTS

12 years ago

#54

The stories and opinions here, are partly true. Of course, it depends on your logic how you analyze the situation. I'm a Filipina as well and I have to admit that I am also experiencing bad treatment by my fellow Filipinos but I can't complain. People who are not into some intellectual stuff, may find interest on talking about the lives of their fellows. However, I don't experience this all the time so still, we give benefit of the doubt to others.

We have lots of negative attitude. But, I must say that MOST Filipinos are kind-hearted. Please take into consideration that my good country has experienced all kind of slavery from its colonial masters for hundreds of years. The country is small and long ago, we don't have education and technology yet as we also have small population. BUT, we lived in abundance during that time, time we're free and haven't been conquered. Now, you have to understand, that for centuries, we we're not able to fully establish our own identities as we have lived as slave to our previous masters. Most of us, from then till now, don't even have our own loyalty to our fellows unlike Japanese. We no longer have that grudge to our masters yet, we find it hard to live independently because of the society that has already existed, affecting our daily lives.

We're sorry for those people especially foreigners, that have bad experiences. Some of you, made correct opinions specifically about the education, ignorance, behaviors and leadership around the country. Like most of us, Filipinos are hoping for miracles especially for the mentioned things, hoping for changes for our country to have some genuine progress and not still a dummy.

For the Filipino people, we won't be humiliated if we act properly and have some manners. It's education that will really help on making as human beings with manners. We can't be slave forever and once we have masters, we'll discreetly manipulate them. Stop this crab mentality among us. And to people experiencing some bad treatment from these Filipinas or Filipinos with their newly-developed superior thoughts on themselves, slap on their faces where they really come from. They might come to their senses.

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blueoakey Contributor

165POSTS

12 years ago

#55

I agree some Filipinas develop a bad attitude, but I think it's the husband who should teach his wife how to
behave correctly, maybe the husband has a elitist attitude too?? I think so, many foreigner have bad attitude
to Filipinas, I hear it all the time, in bars so the attitude will be passed onto the partner.
Most of the winging I hear is about the white man tax we all pay, it is real but If we build a "regular customer"
relationship we don't get taxed.
Pete

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Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

12 years ago

#56

Always remember that many foreigners here expect the "they ignored our concerns" since so many here like to close eyes and feel if the problem is gone from sight, its gone forever. Clearly, the standards are different and when exposed to fly/mosquito free homes with hot water, etc.. some may never want to go back. What may seem like a bad attitude could be an adjustment to a higher standard with clear expectations to maintain that elevation. Most foreigners will count on their Fil spouses/gf's to "handle" local matters in the language locally spoken. However, as soon as a matter is not being resolved, the foreigner needs to transition from spoken to written communication for the best results and a clear legal path should litigation arise.

Your best bet is to send a clear email (or letter that can be delivered) to the couple (in English) and make clear points regarding the issues or counter issues. Always send a written document and request a written response from the renters. You will be amazed how some issues melt away when the clear simple English exchange provides a path to the foreign spouse/BF, that otherwise may just be getting "selected words" from the detailed verbal responses. Of course, this IMHO, and your relationship milage may vary.

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adamsmole Active member

55POSTS

12 years ago

#57

Amen to this.

-JohnnyBravo- Active member

45POSTS

12 years ago

#58

Maybe I should just leave this topic alone, but, I am unable. haha She's beautiful, well dressed, and always smiling, I feel them...the stares. Everywhere we go, everyone we meet....stares at her, then me, then back at her. Yes, I'm a little older than her and I have that "Teddy Bear" belly. haha It's something I am getting used to....the stares. I'm getting better with Tagalog so I understand what they're asking her sometimes. I've grown a thick layer of skin to deflect it. She on the other hand...not so much! haha We live our lives, don't bother anyone. She's learned to hold her tongue well. She's proud of us...proud of me. Although she probably COULD, she doesn't flaunt it. Her PARENTS taught her that! Not MY job to "train her". She's a grown woman...doesn't need "training". I'm lucky I guess. I don't have to be the one to deny every family member from Aunts to 3rd cousins when they ask for help. SHE IS THE ONE that fends them off! I appreciate that! I'm not looking like the bad guy. She knows that if I give it to every family member, it's less for us! She has NO PROBLEM telling them NO! haha Yep...I'm a lucky man! I fell in love with the Islands since my first trip in 1984. I am fortunate to have found my dream Pinay. This has been my dream to live here and build a life in paradise! I'm REAL CLOSE to realizing that dream!
So, I guess I'm different in that so far, she and I haven't had much problems with rude,spoiled attitudes on either fronts. Yep....we're doing just fine. Wish us luck!

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Marisamars Member

11POSTS

12 years ago

#59

FOR SOME, this is TRUE. I worked as a front desk officer before, the only guest who raised voice to me in front of other guest is this Pinay who marry an American. She was complaining with a loud voice as to why her bill isn't the same as to what was quoted in the Internet, I tried to explain to her in BISAYA that it was because the VAT and service charge was not included yet and she said 'YOU SPEAK TO ME in ENGLISH' (with her BISAYA ENGLISH accent) so I explained it to her in English and get the calculator and compute in front of her, for all I know she was confused with the look in her face with the simple Math that involves percentage and her husband came and told her same thing, SHAME! At the end she then said "Okay, we'll pay everything, because we'll be late in our flight"

GuestPoster254 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#60

Marisamars wrote:
FOR SOME, this is TRUE. I worked as a front desk officer before, the only guest who raised voice to me in front of other guest is this Pinay who marry an American. She was complaining with a loud voice as to why her bill isn't the same as to what was quoted in the Internet, I tried to explain to her in BISAYA that it was because the VAT and service charge was not included yet and she said 'YOU SPEAK TO ME in ENGLISH' (with her BISAYA ENGLISH accent) so I explained it to her in English and get the calculator and compute in front of her, for all I know she was confused with the look in her face with the simple Math that involves percentage and her husband came and told her same thing, SHAME! At the end she then said "Okay, we'll pay everything, because we'll be late in our flight"

So happy my wife is not like this...She is humble and kind...The above is an example of why all Expats should carefully chose their partner in life...How one treats others is how they will feel about you also...

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Marisamars Member

11POSTS

12 years ago

#61

vetretreat wrote:
Marisamars wrote:
FOR SOME, this is TRUE. I worked as a front desk officer before, the only guest who raised voice to me in front of other guest is this Pinay who marry an American. She was complaining with a loud voice as to why her bill isn't the same as to what was quoted in the Internet, I tried to explain to her in BISAYA that it was because the VAT and service charge was not included yet and she said 'YOU SPEAK TO ME in ENGLISH' (with her BISAYA ENGLISH accent) so I explained it to her in English and get the calculator and compute in front of her, for all I know she was confused with the look in her face with the simple Math that involves percentage and her husband came and told her same thing, SHAME! At the end she then said "Okay, we'll pay everything, because we'll be late in our flight"

So happy my wife is not like this...She is humble and kind...The above is an example of why all Expats should carefully chose their partner in life...How one treats others is how they will feel about you also...

You are lucky.. Bless you both

Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

12 years ago

#62

Marisamars wrote:
FOR SOME, this is TRUE. I worked as a front desk officer before, the only guest who raised voice to me in front of other guest is this Pinay who marry an American. She was complaining with a loud voice as to why her bill isn't the same as to what was quoted in the Internet, I tried to explain to her in BISAYA that it was because the VAT and service charge was not included yet and she said 'YOU SPEAK TO ME in ENGLISH' (with her BISAYA ENGLISH accent) so I explained it to her in English and get the calculator and compute in front of her, for all I know she was confused with the look in her face with the simple Math that involves percentage and her husband came and told her same thing, SHAME! At the end she then said "Okay, we'll pay everything, because we'll be late in our flight"

I think this topic has been handled politely while not all have had "polite" interactions with some locals here. When personal opinions are set aside for a moment, we are left with some social facts. These include:
1. Many people here have become very dependent upon Western countries for sustenance and the Philippines government is a major contributor to this phenomenon. This results in pressure to look and be higher on the imagined social ladder for some. Thus, as a means of perpetrating greater social and economic mobility, some deliberately seek out foreign men to attain this status.

2. Many western countries have now 'implemented guidelines for assessments of visa applicants based upon inter alia, country of nationality, background, age and gender; these guidelines being to safeguard the integrity of the visa application process'.

3. One must also consider SOME peoples ulterior motives for entering into foreign relationship and maintaining such a relationship/marriage when the original goals were based on the 'capture him and keep him' and be rich mindset. Those with such thinking and culture work hard to disguise their underlying financial motivations. However, they fail to hide such feelings as they may look, stare, wonder and otherwise try to understand how the "crab they see got out of the barrow and landed such a foreigner". Possible reason for such intense stares we endure???

In the end, a select number will change and show a different MO than what was first shown. However, the man should look for and understand this shift potential in his wife to be and not after the I do's. Perhaps an 18-24 month engagement will reduce the number of ladies that hide their 'I'm better' or 'I will be better than others once I get/keep this man'.

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rhica37 Active member

59POSTS

12 years ago

#63

i agree some filipinos is just like an insects sitting on the back of the carabaos hahaha some of filipinos arrogant when they are in up

but most of foreigner is not arrigant but vrry humble

eventhough they are highly educated but foreigner are still downto earth

i agree

GuestPoster254 Guest

0POSTS

12 years ago

#64

rhica37 wrote:
i agree some filipinos is just like an insects sitting on the back of the carabaos hahaha some of filipinos arrogant when they are in up
but most of foreigner is not arrigant but vrry humble eventhough they are highly educated but foreigner are still downto earth i agree

And you my dear still have a lot to learn...

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mugtech ViP

4732POSTS

12 years ago

#65

vetretreat wrote:
rhica37 wrote:
i agree some filipinos is just like an insects sitting on the back of the carabaos hahaha some of filipinos arrogant when they are in up
but most of foreigner is not arrigant but vrry humble eventhough they are highly educated but foreigner are still downto earth i agree

And you my dear still have a lot to learn...

One would expect her to speak well of all foreigners as she is looking to work anywhere in the world. Hopefully these statements are about getting a job, not a realistic assessment of all foreigners.

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Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

12 years ago

#66

rhica37 wrote:
i agree some filipinos is just like an insects sitting on the back of the carabaos hahaha some of filipinos arrogant when they are in up
but most of foreigner is not arrigant but vrry humble eventhough they are highly educated but foreigner are still downto earth i agree

I think we all come in different 'stripes' when it comes to our personalities. I think most foreigners living here are less stressed when they have a good partner/spouse that is from here and that places the couple's interest above others. When the Phil mate does this, it can be seen (by other locals) as showing a 'bad attitude', post foreign union/marriage.

Mhel_Anth Member

1POSTS

11 years ago

#67

Yes, it's true. I know some. They feel ver different after they marry a foreigner. Maybe they don't think but its happening. But there's a few friends not feeling or develop a bad attitude when they have foreigner husband. They still the same person.

I think most of the bad one is bored to their life, for having more money but in the sense they don't have a real life and friends. They like an attention which makes them looks bad. LOL But there's some point its depends to them why they change. Maybe they have reason but not the way that makes them so bad. It's sad.

Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

11 years ago

#68

The disproportionate income should never result in shifted personality if the person is well centered and focused on respect and giving thanks to God that they have a partner that is blessed to be in a position to help …. therefore they have mutual help in their relationship. However, for some (maybe many), this sudden change in income level creates a mindset of a "shift up the social ladder" that results in less than gentle personality traits. The real shift can and I feel does occur in both directions (local and foreigner) when one has the feeling of more wealth and the other the feeling of more power. Both end up looking and acting bad. I think it may be harder to find a balanced relationship where neither have the new found "wealth & power" syndrome. I do not find a one-sided fault (i.e., just the lady's fault) with my statement but it has been my experience here (as an American man) that finding a truly humble and serious lady that is able to focus on what moving forward together should be about is just not easy.

The other points to consider include the change that some relatives/friends place on the relationship with expectations or "entitlements" to their relative/friend's "new wealth" as they now want to be in-line for loans and frequent visits. When the lady and or her husband/BF says no, they now report this as "oh look she has changed", "she feels she is better" or "she is rich now and won't help us". Some actually feel they are inline to share all that the lady's new man may have and her failure to do so = "she has changed" or "she is bad". Some consider this very primitive thinking or just plan blind greediness, layered with "rights to take it" from their relative/friend who is now with the foreign man. Lastly, the foreign man's refusal to play this game or to allow his lady to be "played" in this way results in him being "kuripot".

P.S. If I am "kuripot" (ungenerous or penny-pinching) with my assets but still take good care of my lady, that is better than to allow others to be "gastador" (spendthrift or extravagant and recklessly wasteful) with our assets and means to live in simple comfort.

stephy25 Serial expat

408POSTS

11 years ago

#69

I can totally relate when you said this

"I'm really annoyed at how some Filipinas develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner. They become aloof, arrogant, whiny, complaining "female dogs," which they weren't before they got married."

This is an ugly truth sad to say they are everywhere, and the worst is this kinds of fellow Filipino/Filipina they forget who they are and where they came from. They quarrel with each other out of competition and envy creating a bad reputation for filipinas around the globe when in fact we should be united in a foreign land.

I experienced this kind of impolite attitude when I arrived here by simply standing at bus stops they scan you from head to toe with a peculiar look. Even when you try to smile at them they even roll their eyes and snob you.

And I swore to myself I'll never be like them, and this is also one reason why i joined this site I want to help my fellow pinays/pinoys by imparting my knowldege, coz some people who left the country when you ask them simple questions they tend to keep everything to themselves and doesnt want to share infos as if the country they're at will be taken from them.

Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

11 years ago

#70

Your post made me laugh… I had not mentioned the "body scanners" but it is so true. At 6'3" I do not fit well in any of the public transportation modes so I have seen the entire Jeepney scan me over and even say a few words as they look. This reminds me of a Sci-fi movie where the aliens scan the humans for "new specie identification". Well no new discoveries here, I am just a fellow human.

At times you get to meet the "family of scanners" where their kids scan you and then hold on to the mom like you just developed 3 horns and have sparks shooting from your mouth. There are many types of looks and being different will cause others to look for sure. My trip to Stavanger Norway in 1971 was a good example of kind looks vs. the mean looks I received at the same time while being stationed in West Germany.

I think most people that are able to travel to a new country and experience different people are wiser to the human race. Unfortunately, people that DO NOT experience different lands/people seem to think the world is their world and all others not from their world are just less or lower then they think they are. I have also noticed that some here are not real sure about PI or global geography and have a difficult time relating to or comparing country sizes. I remember being asked questions like do you have 7-Eleven, Ace Hardware, McDonalds, or other trade names in California??? "You mean Chevorlet is not a French car company"?? or shock to learn that Coca-Cola is an American company from 1886. Such questions or discoveries seem strange until it is realized that the person asking the question has zero knowledge of the fact that the PI is not the original source for most of the businesses or companies in the world.

The bottom line is that some of the education on these matters must be shared by the foreign mate in a way that is not condescending to the person, their family, culture, brgy, island, province or country. One can only hope that the lady is willing to listen, understand & learn; resulting in her finding a comfort zone where the need to put her fellow countrymen down or think she is now suddenly better, does not develop into a way of life.

mugtech ViP

4732POSTS

11 years ago

#71

Back in November I was waiting for my wife outside a big grocery store in Vigan, Ilocos Sur, and the reactions of some of the children were priceless. For some I am sure I was the first non-Filipino they had ever seen. At 5'10" and 200 lbs I am larger than most everyone in the province, and some children were terrified. Of course I continually smiled and waved to them, many just turning their heads or lowering their eyes. One little boy was fascinated by a Santa Claus statue, looked at me, and then ran away. Being the only white guy in town was usually fun, as I walked the road and spoke to many. They were impressed that I had no complaints, was always happy, and soon it became common knowledge who my wife is and people made it a point to tell me how they were related to her. "Oh yes we are second degree cousins on her father's side," etc My wife and I helped many through college and nursing school, and we tell those people "Your auntie helped you through school and expects no repayment except you must help the next generation through school, when we retire next year we are also retiring from education funding." We gave them the old Caine quote from Kung Fu "If each of you helps 5 others and then obligates each of them to help 5 others the good deeds will spread across the land like the water ripples in a pond by throwing in a single stone". Others in the family have married foreigners, but I have not seen nor heard of any radical personality changes. My wife prepped them for the experiences, and the foreigners have been generous enough to all so that they are appreciated rather than creating jealousy. One couple is returning next month to start a grape growing business, eagerly anticipated by all.

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stephy25 Serial expat

408POSTS

11 years ago

#72

in my post what made it so negative was that in this foreign land those who gives the discriminating scanning looks to newly arrived filipinas are my fellow filipinas. The term "they" that I used pertains to my fellow filipino/filipina's that have been here for a long time married/established here. Unlike yours that those who stares at you are not from your own fellow citizens, somehow it will make you feel different but not worst when it's your same kind who does it to you.

I have always admired how Americans and Europeans greet each other whenever they meet in a different country regardless if they know or not each other, this I hope the filipinos will develop so there won't be snobbing.

Like the creator of the thread said, some filipinas really develop arrogance and a handful of attitude.

Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

11 years ago

#73

@Stephy25,
I didn't find your post negative at all. I do relate to your points & find them very accurate from my person observations. Yes, here in the PI, each day I go out from where I live, the constant stares start. Very soon I hope to be with private transportation so the locals on the Jeepneys will reduce their eye/neck strain.

@mugtech,

A few years ago while traveling alone thru Negros, the same thing happened to me when I was asked to speak at a grade school. Each break the kids from the other classes crowded around the door and at my every movement toward the door, the running and screaming was unreal. One brave 9 year old boy asked the teacher to find out how long it took me to get there from my country and when I explained the flight from USA to Manila was over 14 hours, he said airplanes can't stay in the air that long & felt I was not telling the truth. So much fear and/or lack of information on the world or science made me wonder how the teachers provided proper lessons? Nonetheless, I remained warm and still felt a connection to the kids. I was told, after I left, that the kids kept asking about me and when I was to return.

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stephy25 Serial expat

408POSTS

11 years ago

#74

What i meant was some filipinas develop this negative traits when they get mareied to foreign men or has been in a foreign land for a long time, that they become arrogant and complains a lot to the point of discriminating their fellow filipinas/filipinos whether they are in the Philippines or outside which is in the same experience as the creator of the thread mentioned.

So my point is, it is not the same feeling as you get when you get stared upon by foreign people that are not of your own kind. Because majority of the reason they stare at you may be for being a foreigner, you are as a fact different from them and therefore they are curious about you (where you come from, how you speak, your actions).

But for us this rudeness and the peculiar staring to compare themselves to us (social status, if they are richer, better clothing, etc.) are done to us by our own kind that has forgotten that we came from the same country(Philippines). It's as if there is a competition inside their heads which is unhealthy for the filipino communties around the globe.

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Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

11 years ago

#75

Yes, your points are very clear and I agree! :-)

tommieboy999 Contributor

192POSTS

11 years ago

#76

which is why I have said in the past... no reason to get married right away.. date her for a year or two before making that lifelong commitment. if she really loves you, she will not leave you for not marrying her.. after a couple of years, her true colors will appear and you will know if she is the one you should marry

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Calif-Native VIP Member

512POSTS

11 years ago

#77

I agree and feel that as a general rule at least 18 months need to pass. I also feel that some issues will not surface unless/until there is a major family "emergency", afterward resulting in true positions or thinking being shown by some with clear attitude shifts. The less money given or loaned could mean less kindness.

1 member reacted to this post

art29777 Member

1POSTS

10 years ago

#78

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pej1111 Serial expat

562POSTS

10 years ago

#79

Yep my girlfriend has changed, and I have told her to not change or I will leave her.

And with a smile and a cheeky grin, but with a touch of honesty, I told her girlfriends to pull her up if she does get all nose up in the air.

Having said this, money changes most people, it does not matter where they come from. And yes for a 24 year old girl to go from poverty to "wealth" it is hard for them not to change, she is now rich in her and her families and friends eyes. She (and I) also have responsibilities (and hearts) I cannot think what it would be like to be 24 years old and being in a situation where the family needs her (my support).

So I have to do some work and remind her to be humble, and to demonstrate what being humble is. Yet it is hard for her. As we know some of the rudest people are the Filipino's who have money. And these are the role models for the Filipino's - you see them at the airport and other places when they think that they have the right to charge to the front of the line. Yep money is power to them, not just another life style.

I was once asked by the Uncle what I did not like about the Philippines and told him, what I mentioned above. He and the others did not understand what I was talking about, to them the rich statues in the Philippines is just normal. And allows people to act in what an Australian would dislike.

I am not a Filipino and have never being truly poor, and the Philippines is not Australia, so I will never understand how they truly think. All I can do is try and educate my girlfriend to be (in an Australians eyes) a good person. Will this affect how our children are received into the work place, when they go for work with an Australian attitude and not a Filipino attitude, I think that it will, and for the worse for them to get good employment in the Philippines.

So many angles to look at for this topic.

2 members reacted to this post

pej1111 Serial expat

562POSTS

10 years ago

#80

tommieboy999 wrote:
which is why I have said in the past... no reason to get married right away.. date her for a year or two before making that lifelong commitment. if she really loves you, she will not leave you for not marrying her.. after a couple of years, her true colors will appear and you will know if she is the one you should marry

Well said.