Break up with Dutch Partner - Unmarried Partner


I moved to NL a little over 3 years ago to join my Dutch partner. Unfortunately within about 4 months and the time I started working things got really bad, up to the points were he would kick me out of the house, Id to bully me into doing what he wanted he would threaten to call the IND and tell them we had broken up and then I would have no options - unfortunately I believed him (I was quite isolated at the time) and he used this continuously until about September 2020 when he physically assaulted me, as I was removing the last of my property from his house, I had been travelling and studying in  Africa and around Europe from about March 2020 mostly.

I am sharing details so I paint a clear picture. Luckily I could move in with my sister for a period. I spoke to Vleighuis and the advised me to stay put at my sister and not to meet with him (he was insisting on meeting every 2 weeks, screaming shouting, threatening).  I advised them when I was moving from my sister and they said they would close my file and that the only problem he could do was make problems with the IND but otherwise I was fine.

I travelled back to my country of origin in December and on the day I travelled he again was threatening me not to get on my flight and come and talk to him (this used to work a lot on me unfortunately). The reason he wanted to meet was to talk about personal things;

1. How I could carry on living in NL - he was happy to not say anything to IND so I could keep my residency - at least that is what he said.
2. Money - he felt he was owed (bills, dates, pretty much anything, backdate now that I was not with him).

Under advisement from my social worker I did not meet with him and proposed a call etc. As I left these things were resolved. I started paying him off in January, when I stated with my new organisation. I moved from my sister's to Den Haag in February and have a great job in Ams, and have finally started building myself.  I passed my civic intergration and was going to send in an application next month for my passport.

The last payment for this money he wanted paid was in August, this year less than a week after final payment I got a letter from IND that he had reported the break up but he had back dated the letter to Dec 2020.

I now have 2 weeks to explain myself to IND;

1. My problem is that, I never registered at my sister nor in Den Haag and they noted this in the letter, that it is strange that  am still registered there.  I have been renting an apartment for the last 8 months on my own.   So I have to explain where I have been since December 2020 and why I did not register the change of address as required. I really do not have a good explanation for this except I thought he was going to honor his word not to report to IND until I could send in my application.

2. I also need to apply for a different reason to say - I am employed with my contract being renewed in January 2022
3. I am considered a victim of domestic violence - because of the physical assault and general living conditions, bullying and threats - I ended up in therapy and seeing a psychologist for about 6 months. 
4. I am

So I guess my question is what are my options given the above?

I am consulting a lawyer and meet with them in a few days. I wanted to find out if anyone has advise for me...

Hi and welcome to the Forum.

I'm sorry to read of your circumstances; unfortunately, you are not the first person to report similar circumstances.

I'm not going to comment on your circumstances, you have an appointment to see a lawyer and he/she will explain all of your options; my only advice is, to be honest when speaking to your lawyer as you are protected by attorney/client privilege and nothing you say to him/her can be used against you.  That said, they can only help if you are completely open and honest to their questions.

Hope this helps.

Expat Team

Thank you for the prompt response I have been advised to be as honest as open as possible as this is my best bet for them to make a case for me. I will update when I can, fingers crossed.