LETS HAVE A LAUGH BUT NO FILTH

sanooku :
OceanBeach92107 :

We are divided between those who need no instructions for wearing masks and those who flunked Halloween... 😷~🤡

Yesterday i wrote a 'private' message to another forum member and the message contained 'Wonder what he's up to.....Divide and Conquer?'

Your post also happen to have 'divided'. It's definietly not a really common word as 'good'.

Well actually I'm a bit divided on this issue not sure if divided is or is not a common word maybe a poll on the subject see how we are divided on this issue?

Google "time to chill". :)

This was a funny, light hearted thread, but it'll end up getting locked if this carries on

Indices :
Andybris2020 :
sanooku :


Yesterday i wrote a 'private' message to another forum member and the message contained 'Wonder what he's up to.....Divide and Conquer?'

Your post also happen to have 'divided'. It's definietly not a really common word as 'good'.

Well actually I'm a bit divided on this issue not sure if divided is or is not a common word maybe a poll on the subject see how we are divided on this issue?

One has to take into account that to some a word of more than one syllable sends them rushing to the Collins Dictionary and they would therefor consider it unusual.

Well one would also have to take into account Inferring people are dumb is not always the best way to make friends or play mates - just saying

Fred :

Google "time to chill". :)

This was a funny, light hearted thread, but it'll end up getting locked if this carries on

Indeed

Andybris2020 :
Indices :
Andybris2020 :


Well actually I'm a bit divided on this issue not sure if divided is or is not a common word maybe a poll on the subject see how we are divided on this issue?

One has to take into account that to some a word of more than one syllable sends them rushing to the Collins Dictionary and they would therefor consider it unusual.

Well one would also have to take into account Inferring people are dumb is not always the best way to make friends or play mates - just saying

Some friends I can do without thanks.

sanooku :
OceanBeach92107 :

We are divided between those who need no instructions for wearing masks and those who flunked Halloween... 😷~🤡

Yesterday i wrote a 'private' message to another forum member and the message contained 'Wonder what he's up to.....Divide and Conquer?'

Your post also happen to have 'divided'. It's definietly not a really common word as 'good'.

This is really sad, man.

I don't hate you or have anything against you other than your style of metaphorically killing a horse when it's been dead for 24 hours already.

If you want to meet in VT for a coffee, let me know.

I'll help you Social Distance away from your computer.

Cheers!

Talking of VT is the beach open?

sick of looking at apartmnt walls here in HCMC,,, beach sounds good

ocean can you PM me I dont know how to do,,,,

Andybris2020 :

Talking of VT is the beach open?

sick of looking at apartmnt walls here in HCMC,,, beach sounds good

They haven't been officially opened but there have been some times when people have been able to escape the police.

Regular patrols and some signs up have been keeping people away:

(Photo of Back Beach)

https://gordythomas.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/92570898_10216688730952117_4897600406479175680_o.jpg

Hopefully everything officially opens tomorrow after our 1 added week of quarantine.

Andybris2020 :

ocean can you PM me I dont know how to do,,,,

https://www.expat.com/forum/private_message/

Hello everyone

As you may be aware of, we had to clean this thread because of many off topic posts, and even insults.

I know you guys just want to laugh and have a good time, but please, stay on tracks and be polite to each other.

Thank you very much and have a good day.

Stay safe.

Regards.

Loïc

Loïc :

Hello everyone

As you may be aware of, we had to clean this thread because of many off topic posts, and even insults.

I know you guys just want to laugh and have a good time, but please, stay on tracks and be polite to each other.

Thank you very much and have a good day.

Stay safe.

Regards.

Loïc

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In a risky addition to the above,
I hope you and family are ok.
Stay safe.

(From a Facebook meme)

"So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane..."

This is from a website called 'Go Away'. The author is an Australian named David Thorne. He works in advertising. These are his adventures. He has written a book or two.

I found the link on a site called '50 Amazing Websites' under humour.

Most of it is an exchange of emails between he and someone else.

Here's a sample:

Ten F26-A formal complaint notices in six months.

"Apparently after receiving three, you are meant to have some kind of formal meeting between the parties involved but this never happened. According to the rules, if there are five complaints, an external mediator has to be bought in. This didn't happen either and I was quite disappointed.

I don't really have anything against Simon apart from the fact that he likes the band Nickelback and I have no idea what his problem with me is, as I'm pretty sure I am an absolute pleasure to work with. I brought in donuts once, which is pretty nice. I found them in a bin and left them near Simon's desk. When he asked, "Who brought these donuts in?" I replied, "The girl from the shop across the road brought them in because they have too many" and watched him eat four, complaining between mouthfuls that they weren't very fresh. He would have eaten them all but stopped after finding a dead cricket in the box.

My very first run in with Simon was when he blamed me for stealing pens from his desk, which I vehemently denied. He then proceeded to point out the tiny engraved words 'Simon's Pen' he had done on all eight of the pens currently on my desk. It was so small he had to point them out to me with the aid of a loupe. Each two-millimetre high letter was meticulous. When I asked how he had managed to get the letters so perfect, he told me that he had a headset at home with a light and magnifying glass on it. When I asked why he had a headset with light and magnifying glass on it he replied, "For painting collector figurines."

There have actually been twelve formal complaints by Simon against me but two of those were complaining that nothing had been done about the previous formal complaints so I didn't bother scanning those in."


What follows is each complaint form scanned apparently. They are absolutely hilarious.  Check it out. If you like his style he has many more.

Special news report from the Beaverton:

HOUSTON – For the first time ever, astronauts aboard the International Space Station have declined to return to Earth, saying: “Nah, we’re good. Maybe later.”

Read more on this breaking story:

“We’re good,” ISS astronauts decline returning to Earth

coffee with a frothy Domestos top

https://i.ibb.co/D40vVNP/drink-dettol.png

VietCanada :

This is from a website called 'Go Away'. .

There's a link at the bottom

Click here to see photos of Simon naked.

I gave it a miss, however, if desperate, I'll click it

Since watching Donald's news conf yesterday & knowing because he is the president of the most advanced nation on the planet, I took his advice & started lacing my coffee with Dettol in place of milk (well it turns the water White....right) but have now ran out of Dettol so moved on to AJAX powder. Since then the whole world from my perspective seems to be a much nicer place & corona.......what corona :joking:  :huh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQwgjBv3N8k

Fred :
VietCanada :

This is from a website called 'Go Away'. .

There's a link at the bottom

Click here to see photos of Simon naked.

I gave it a miss, however, if desperate, I'll click it

I was afraid to. But that reminds of an even funnier article from him. Every time I read it I laugh out loud and my VN wife starts panicking that I'm going crazy!

"From: George Lewis
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 6.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject 

I have read your website and it is obviously that your a foggot."



"From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 2 September 2010 8.07pm
To: George Lewis
Subject: Re: No Subject

Dear George,
Thank you for your email. While I have no idea what a foggot is, I will assume it is a term of endearment and appreciate you taking time out from calculating launch trajectories or removing temporal lobe tumors to contact me with such. I have attached a signed photo as per your request.
Regards, David."

Moderated by Priscilla 2 months ago
Reason : Inappropriate
colinoscapee :

Note: please don't look up the meaning if you are easily offended.

I had to look it up ... but I really wish I hadn't clicked on 'Images'.

Fred :
colinoscapee :

Note: please don't look up the meaning if you are easily offended.

I had to look it up ... but I really wish I hadn't clicked on 'Images'.

I did warn you Mr Fred,lol.

VietCanada :

foggot

I'm from Yorkshire, a place where having a faggot in your mouth is perfectly normal.

Fred :
VietCanada :

foggot

I'm from Yorkshire, a place where having a faggot in your mouth is perfectly normal.

I heard you can buy a faggot anywhere in Yorkshire.

<embed src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--5p9tQhhi--/18k4huj6wfrfxjpg.jpg" width="400" height="388">

colinoscapee :
Fred :
VietCanada :

foggot

I'm from Yorkshire, a place where having a faggot in your mouth is perfectly normal.

I heard you can buy a faggot anywhere in Yorkshire.

They used to be popular, but fewer and fewer put them in their mouths these days.
Fashions change. I used to buy faggots regularly but couldn't even tell you the price these days

Moderated by Priscilla 2 months ago
Reason : Inappropriate
We invite you to read the forum code of conduct
Fred :
colinoscapee :
Fred :

I'm from Yorkshire, a place where having a faggot in your mouth is perfectly normal.

I heard you can buy a faggot anywhere in Yorkshire.

They used to be popular, but fewer and fewer put them in their mouths these days.
Fashions change. I used to buy faggots regularly but couldn't even tell you the price these days

OMG! Faggots wrapped in bacon, mash and real gravy - yummy

Moderated by Priscilla 2 months ago
Reason : please avoid political comment
We invite you to read the forum code of conduct

Cinefix is a you tube channel all about movies, sometimes TV shows.

Here's a sample:

"1 Brilliant Moment of Tension

For this episode we take a great scene from Denis Villeneuve’s Sicario, break it down into the tiniest pieces we can and take a look at how it really works. By ratcheting up the tension for nearly 30 minutes, Villeneuve pays it all off with a mere 9 seconds of violence!"

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-cEBguJj3dg" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Here's the link if the embed doesn't work:

1 Brilliant Moment of Tension

TIME FOR A WEE DRAM

https://i.postimg.cc/gx5Kqb8J/cheers.png

Here's a great set fo photos from the Saigoneer showing D.1 in HCMC during the lockdown.

Have you ever wondered what District 1 might look like after the apocalypse?

Donald is now planning a trip to the sun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JiMPVMCvUw

https://i.postimg.cc/w3S4TBDj/sun.png

What you need to know about getting a hair transplant in Turkey

"Over recent years, Turkey has fast gained a reputation as a destination for hair transplant procedures. When you look at the facts, it’s easy to understand why."

This just in from NewsThump:

Donald Trump tipped to win Nobble Prize for spelling

Monday 27 April 2020 by Pete Redfern

"President Trump is to be awarded the highest honour availed to former reality TV stars – the Nobble Prize for spelling.

After spending the last four years catastrophically tweeting out a string of spelling errors, most notably misspelling ‘Nobel’ when cry-begging to be awarded a Nobel Prize, it was decided that he should be given an ironic award for his spelling, given that he loves sarcasm so much."

Wisecrack is a You Tube channel.

"Wisecrack is a collective of academics, filmmakers, artists, and pop culture junkies who are curious and contemplative about the world around us. Our channel explores big ideas like philosophy and critical thinking through the lens of movies, TV shows, video games, current events, books, and more."

This is an excellent video about the impact of plagues on society. It's almost eerie in parts that are exactly what is going on today.

Fast Forward to 2:21 to skip the ad when it starts.

How Pandemics Change Society – Wisecrack Edition 371,640 views •Apr 14, 2020

Lookout! Priscilla has got her broom out and cleaned up a few posts.

Forget Corona, lets have a holiday. These plucky Brits are already planning for when tourist travel restrictions are lifted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PlKxiH9K1w

From Gizmodo:

Great, Now Invasive 'Murder Hornets' Are a Thing to Worry About
Alyse Stanley
Yesterday 8:29PM

Filed to:what's next—bees with teeth?

"Hey 2020, can you chill for, like, five minutes?

Now on top of a literal pandemic and nearly unparalleled global economic unrest, it seems you’ll need to add “murder hornets” to the list of reasons to lose sleep these days...

Some more not-so-fun facts: Their venomous stings kill roughly 50 people every year in Japan. They feed by ripping the heads off of bees and flying the decapitated carcasses back to their young. And though they’re native to southeastern and eastern Asia—hence the namesake—recently they’ve begun popping up in Washington State and Canada. Scientists still don’t know why.

...Because after all, haven’t we already been through enough this year? And it’s only May, dammit. "

The Priests Rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.

"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said. "That's not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.

"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?"  All the nuns stood up.

New topic