LETS HAVE A LAUGH BUT NO FILTH

@Aidan in HCMC ... did you hear the one about the stupid guy who locked his keys inside his car ... yeah ... he had to get a coat hang to get his family out

- @Friday with Mateo

Phrases you'll rarely hear in Vietnam ...

Bui Vien Street at 2am ... "Excuse me sir, you dropped your wallet."

Taxi driver taking first time visitor to hotel from the airport ... "Let me first check Google maps sir, to see the shortest route."

Construction site crew trying to figure out installation of an electric panel ... "Hey guys, this doesn't look right ... let's take a look at the safety manual before we proceed."

- @Friday with Mateo

Headline:

VIETNAM TO OPEN ITS FIRST "NUDIE"

BAR FEATURING AN ALL MALE LINEUP

OF WESTERN MEN FOR THE EXCLUSIVE

ENTERTAINMENT OF VN LADIES

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(proposed signage, soon to be submitted for approval)

I think sleep is over rated ... for me, I like to wake up at the crack of Dawn ... and at the end of the day ... I come inside ... also at the crack of Dawn

You know what they say ... the early bird gets the worm

How can you tell the difference between an expat/tourist/traveler, and a backpacker?

The man-bun.

I'm aware that my posts sound smug and obnoxious, but hey, at least they're also annoying.

-Aidan

Job interviewer: So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

I knew a constipated mathematician - he worked it out with a pencil

The nerve of some people!

Give them an inch and they think they're a ruler!

I knew a constipated mathematician - he worked it out with a pencil
-@Fred

ahhhhhhhhhh the old ones are the best

What do you call someone from Africa with 10 kids?..........a Kenyan

My ex-wife bought me a copy of The Kama Sutra this year, which put me in a very awkward position.

My wife used to head but me on the face every time I had an orgasm......I didn't mind so much until I found out she was FAKING THEM

What do you call a hotdog with a hole through it?

A "hallow-weinie" 🦇🦇🦇

@Friday with Mateo

But the 2nd mouse gets the cheese 🧀

Need extra space? get rid of your dining table

I shall from now always refer to myself as an "artiste".

Not only am I drawing a pension, but I've now started to seriously draw on my savings.

I suspect that my final contribution will be drawing my last breath.

-Aidan

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter".

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars -- and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars -- and 50 dollars is 50 dollars".

The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

(Source: Face.book)

I was thinking to go out and buy a bunch of hermit crabs ... bring them home ... and make them live together.

I have a step ladder

I never knew my real one

Kids nowadays with their dancing on the Tik Toks and You Tubes and the this and the that ... heck ... in my days if we wanted to have fun like that ... we had to take drugs and go to rock concerts

"Hello. I'm here for the ESL Teacher interview"

"Wonderful! Do you have any experience?"

"Yes, This is my 12th interview"

(recently posted on twitter)

Mike B: Rachel and I are no longer dating.

Rachel B: Mike that's not a nice way to tell people we're married

Dang ... not to be a bummer here ... but just got some really sad news from back home the states ... one of my kids was on a transport with a whole bunch of other kids on a group trip to do some volunteer work (clear out brush in high fire danger area) and was involved in a fiery crash on I-5 ... docs say he prolly ain't gonna make it ... but it's ok ... we goat farmers have some pretty thick skin.

I think I may have contracted monkey pox.

I can't walk past a tree without an almost uncontrollable urge to climb it.

That, and I've started peeling and eating bananas with my feet.

Perfect gift for the new dads out there. Even the new moms might like it!

Babies love it when you laugh with them (or, in this case, at them )

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@Aidan in HCMC

Great ,

That is a funny one !

I think I may have contracted monkey pox.
-@Aidan in HCMC

Dang ... not to be a bummer here  -@Friday with Mateo

May I assume that there is no relationship between these 2 posts?

@Fred

Yes, you may.

You are, perhaps, confusing monkey pox with l̶o̶n̶g̶ schlong covid?

Got a great deal on a 100% cotton T-shirt!

@Fred
Yes, you may.

You are, perhaps, confusing monkey pox with l̶o̶n̶g̶ schlong covid?
-@Aidan in HCMC

I almost missed your post as I was skim reading - I flu through it.

@Aidan in HCMC Re: "Asia"

Probably made by an American. .  .

@Aidan in HCMC Re: "Asia"
Probably made by an American. . .
-@Lennerd

More likely by a Mercan.

Overheard VN tour operator speaking to a foreign tourist;

"You speak English because it's the only language you know.

I speak English because it's the only language you know."