Dating and finding love as an expat in Germany

Hello,

With cultural barriers and different dating norms, finding love as an expat abroad can be exciting and challenging at the same time.

Is it easy to meet other fellow single people in Germany?

How do you go about meeting people (through friends, online dating, apps, meetup groups)?

How safe is it to date in Germany?

How do you deal with cultural differences when dating?

What are certain dating etiquettes and rules when dating in Germany?

How do you deal with getting into a serious relationship if you know you might be leaving Germany?

Thank you for sharing your experience,

Priscilla

l was tempted to respond to you question by question but then l am of the opinion that your questions are centered on one thing, trust and fear.

I will certainly follow this post just to read different views on that topic.
My answer to you is that: Matters of love must just roll themselves according to the two involved. lts one field which doesn't have a straight answer. Love knows no culture or is it limited by geographical locations. There is always that time of learning one's culture if you are in it. You really wouldn't need so much guidance but your emotions shall push you to do that.
Distance can be overcome by mutual agreement between the two of you, it must not be a hindrance if there is a kindling fire in it. Such questions like the ones you have asked only arise when you are in doubt and when you think it's not worthy it. Hence if you are in doubt you know what to do....

I’m married so I haven’t dated for a long time. Things have also changed a lot since I was on the market. I have no experience with things like Tinder or online dating but imagine them to be a difficult way to find people as there is so much fraud on the internet. People can use other photos or write anything they want so I would suggest some caution using such methods. A first meeting should always be in a public place where one is not in a compromising situation.

But in general, meeting people in Germany is definitely different than say in the States. Just approaching an unknown person on the street is usually not well accepted. One usually meets people through friends, work, school or clubs and activities. Then one has some security of who the person is and that you have something in common. Spontaneously meeting someone is not impossible but unlikely. Anyway, one should be honest. If one is only staying in an area for a limited period of time it should be understood that it is probably not going to lead to a long term relationship. And yes, this can be limiting for both friendships and dating partners.

First, the questions:

Is it easy to meet other fellow single people in Germany?

I think that depends on where you are. I think in the big city (I'm in Berlin) it's easy, but not necessarily easy to find a relationship if that's what you're looking for (I was, when I was dating). Berlin is full of people who are only here short-term, and a lot of people are only looking for flings (even the people who live here permanently). I found that was the case when I was dating a decade ago, but I imagine that Tinder has brought out a lot more of that.

I don't think it's different than any other big city in any other country in that respect, though.

How do you go about meeting people (through friends, online dating, apps, meetup groups)?

Well, I met my husband on a dating site, so I can attest that it can work out haha. Meetups, hobbies (join a workshop, sing in a choir, play a sport), and through friends can be good bets. Plus, you might make local friends in the process. Even if you don't find a relationship, having locals as friends is always good.

Like TominStuttgart mentioned above, don't just approach someone on the street or in a shop and ask them out. That's weird.

How safe is it to date in Germany?

As safe as it is anywhere else in Europe. If you meet someone online, always use caution and trust your gut. The vast majority of people are just looking for dates and won't hurt you, but you never know if you get the one that will.

How do you deal with cultural differences when dating?

Talk about it. Always talk about it.

What are certain dating etiquettes and rules when dating in Germany?

Don't expect the man to pay, and if you're a man, be ok with splitting the bill! I've talked about this with my (local) girlfriends a lot, and we all agree that we're not really into this. A lot of us feel that it implies that we aren't equals on the date, and some of us get nervous that you might expect something. Probably a few women like it, but most don't...at least that's the case in Berlin.

How do you deal with getting into a serious relationship if you know you might be leaving Germany?

I'm a German citizen and always intended to stay, so I can't speak about this personally. I'd recommend always talking about this as early as possible. If you absolutely don't want to stay and they don't want to move with you back to your country, you should end things before it gets serious. If you're open to staying and/or they're open to leaving, then you can see where things go and where the relationship takes you.



Anyway, a few other notes....I'm married and I haven't dated in a few years. I think it's changed a lot, especially in Berlin. A lot of my single friends use Tinder, and the whole dating scene sort of scares me and I'm glad I don't have to do it anymore. I think there are also huge generational differences. When I was young and single, I used to have a friend who was 15 years older than me and she was very "traditional" in that she thought that you should never call a guy, ask a guy out, etc. But I think that's fine for my generation (I'm an older millennial). Younger millennials also have their own rules. Also, I was barely an adult when I moved here and had almost no dating experience where I grew up (Canada), so I don't have much to compare it to. I did all of my dating in Berlin....

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