Cyber friends!

hi from Pete in Brazil

hi sir

Hi there
how's things where you are

Uhmmm... I have many friends from many countries while I travelled so yes....

I also get some online foreign friends and if I travel to their country I will visit them but not much. Most of them are through language forum when I practise some language. They help me alot in  some cases that I need a human translation rather than stupid google translating system.

Cyber friends, a great way to explore the horizon and insights if you are visiting a country for the first time. I have used the "cyber friend" network prior to traveling to many countries with great success, it has given me a  lifetime of friendships from all over.

Liking the reply's to this link it is good to hear.
And something that I'd encourage, one person recently sent me a message but their own profile did not accept any replies?! (slightly missed the point!)
Anyhow good to see that you are responding positively to this link, hello to you all.
Cheers Steve.

There are some limitations in the personal messaging system designed to stop spammers which unfortunately also limit legitimate personal discussions.

We all have a mailbox, and are allowed to receive and send a certain amount of messages, but you have to post on the forum continually or you will eventually lose the privilege to contact people as you wish. I'm more of a lurker by habit, and I only post when I feel a topic deserves a large group discussion. But I like to socially network on a personal basis for more one-on-one discussion. Right now I have several contacts I can't even message because there is no definitive way to reset my account to normal functionality.

There's no clear explanation as to how much, how long or how frequent your posts have to be to allow the private messaging system continue to work. It's kind of annoying IMHO because sometimes a one-line reply to a post would suffice, but those kinds of posts are discouraged by the message-limiting algorithm.

So I suppose for those having trouble with that system, the best thing they could do aside from deleting their account and starting all over again would be to make post threads and try to attract people to their posts rather than messaging particular people they might be interested in talking with. The problem I have with this is that it will attract people we're not particularly interested in messaging, and may not necessarily reach the people who we would wish to contact.

Hopefully this system will be adjusted in the future to allow more normal real-world discussions like what people are used to online on other forums and sites. I like to be able to choose my audience, whether it be just one contact, a small group of people, or site-wide.

Vietman wrote:

There are some limitations in the personal messaging system designed to stop spammers which unfortunately also limit legitimate personal discussions..

It stops spam, as older member know all too well with the massive amount of total crap they used to receive from people with unwelcome friends requests, prostitutes, scammers, spammers, people with terrific offers, girls with very nice offers that were very likely to be costly, one boy with a very nice offer if that's your cup of tea, rapists looking for victims, general sex pests and who knows what else.

This is a mutual help platform with the added bonus of making friends from time to time; try Facebook, it's good for the above except expat mutual help.

I have never met scammers before (Spammers a lot here), but there are some messages were sent to me as an invitation for biz/partner business... Is it a sort of scams? Normally I dont reply any message like this but I am interested on how scammers get scam on you.

@stepool1970 I had several messages like that and I normally ignore since they are not really into you for real (all spammers).... The one who really want to talk will text you and ask you alot (of course, not ask about your personal banks and all type of money issues).

Fred wrote:

Vietman wrote:

There are some limitations in the personal messaging system designed to stop spammers which unfortunately also limit legitimate personal discussions..

It stops spam, as older member know all too well with the massive amount of total crap they used to receive from people with unwelcome friends requests, prostitutes, scammers, spammers, people with terrific offers, girls with very nice offers that were very likely to be costly, one boy with a very nice offer if that's your cup of tea, rapists looking for victims, general sex pests and who knows what else.

This is a mutual help platform with the added bonus of making friends from time to time; try Facebook, it's good for the above except expat mutual help.

Unfortunately it would stop none of that, because a spammer would just rotate accounts when their first account was limited. Also, the algorithm doesn't limit the content of the message, just the amount in proportion with posting. I don't think it's making Expat.com a safer place, although there is probably less interaction as a result.

You'd have to have a very sophisticated filter to block sexual solicitations, business offers, and unwelcome contact requests, because there are many ways to communicate those propositions. As it stands, the system doesn't block unwelcome contact requests, it allows them, but you can choose to accept or reject, which it should.

They way you intelligently deal with unwanted/illegal/spam messages best is to have a reporting system and moderators who oversee the reports. This will stop all the spams, sex trade, business scams and what have you very easily. I for one report users on any site I use when I get such trash. You should refine the reporting system and encourage users to report unwanted messages. It works for Facebook and most moderated forum sites.

Vietman wrote:

You should refine the reporting system and encourage users to report unwanted messages. It works for Facebook and most moderated forum sites.

Excellent - start a forum and do it.

Expats are commonly seen as easy targets for a wide variety of nasty people and that forced the anti spam system as you see it today.
One of the major problems being sex pest men trying to attract women as 'friends' and that had to be stopped. As for your suggestion, it's been tried and it doesn't work.

Basically, you're trying to change a mutual help platform into Facebook - unrealistic.

Not that anyone is implying I am a sex pest by creating this topic I assume! HA-HA  I am 47 years old work a 65 hour week over 3 nights/days driving over 2100 miles each week, what little time I get spare I will spend a little on here, not to prey on the weak just to chill. 

Fred wrote:

Vietman wrote:

You should refine the reporting system and encourage users to report unwanted messages. It works for Facebook and most moderated forum sites.

Excellent - start a forum and do it.

Expats are commonly seen as easy targets for a wide variety of nasty people and that forced the anti spam system as you see it today.
One of the major problems being sex pest men trying to attract women as 'friends' and that had to be stopped. As for your suggestion, it's been tried and it doesn't work.

Basically, you're trying to change a mutual help platform into Facebook - unrealistic.

It's not as hard as you would imagine, but not on the scale of Facebook. Most sites have social features integrated these days. Even a WordPress blog can become a 'mini-Facebook' using Buddypress.

I'm just saying that if you're goal is to stop spam and sex pests, limiting non-offending messages is not the answer.

Vietman wrote:

Fred wrote:

Vietman wrote:

You should refine the reporting system and encourage users to report unwanted messages. It works for Facebook and most moderated forum sites.

Excellent - start a forum and do it.

Expats are commonly seen as easy targets for a wide variety of nasty people and that forced the anti spam system as you see it today.
One of the major problems being sex pest men trying to attract women as 'friends' and that had to be stopped. As for your suggestion, it's been tried and it doesn't work.

Basically, you're trying to change a mutual help platform into Facebook - unrealistic.

It's not as hard as you would imagine, but not on the scale of Facebook. Most sites have social features integrated these days. Even a WordPress blog can become a 'mini-Facebook' using Buddypress.

I'm just saying that if you're goal is to stop spam and sex pests, limiting non-offending messages is not the answer.

The PM system works very well here, it's been running well for 7 years. The only people that have a problem with it are the very new members that think they can use the site for a dating site or spam the hell out of it. They make one post and its always asking to unblock their PM's. Then you never see them again.

Now I really do fail how people can't understand if you help on the open Forum you get the PM system to work, the more you help and more questions posted your Message capacity grows.

SimCityAT wrote:

Vietman wrote:

Fred wrote:

Excellent - start a forum and do it.

Expats are commonly seen as easy targets for a wide variety of nasty people and that forced the anti spam system as you see it today.
One of the major problems being sex pest men trying to attract women as 'friends' and that had to be stopped. As for your suggestion, it's been tried and it doesn't work.

Basically, you're trying to change a mutual help platform into Facebook - unrealistic.

It's not as hard as you would imagine, but not on the scale of Facebook. Most sites have social features integrated these days. Even a WordPress blog can become a 'mini-Facebook' using Buddypress.

I'm just saying that if you're goal is to stop spam and sex pests, limiting non-offending messages is not the answer.

The PM system works very well here, it's been running well for 7 years. The only people that have a problem with it are the very new members that think they can use the site for a dating site or spam the hell out of it. They make one post and its always asking to unblock their PM's. Then you never see them again.

Now I really do fail how people can't understand if you help on the open Forum you get the PM system to work, the more you help and more questions posted your Message capacity grows.

7 years? Perhaps it's time for an upgrade.

This is outdated Web 2.0 tech mostly.

Judging from the amount of posts on the unblock thread, I think there is justification to improve the system. Many of those posters have several forum posts under their belt. I don't think everybody that has a problem with the system is looking for a date or to spam. People have many motivations. In most cases, I think users just want to communicate with each other.

You have a point but there are rules and expectations for members to follow but the hardship becomes that many won't bother to read them and then complain or the less honest ones complain about how fair the pm messaging service is whilst blocked.
Recieivng messages on here is more than welcome but the spam is growing and the amount of 'you must help me' emails is annoying.
But what's more annoying is the fact that no one reads the rules for messaging and they immediately expect access when the rules are quite clear that this won't happen straight away.

As for cyberfriends, that's ok for me. They are easier to block if become annoying or wierd or disrespectful than people you meet daily. I have met and still speak with many people from this forumand others over the years and all are pretty sane from a cyber friend perspective.

Vietman wrote:

[
Judging from the amount of posts on the unblock thread, I think there is justification to improve the system.

Now check the post count of the posters on that thread.
Most are one post wonders and almost all are spammers in the traditional sense, ie sending total crap.

The number of posters there proves the system works.

Vietman wrote:

There are some limitations in the personal messaging system designed to stop spammers which unfortunately also limit legitimate personal discussions.

We all have a mailbox, and are allowed to receive and send a certain amount of messages, but you have to post on the forum continually or you will eventually lose the privilege to contact people as you wish. I'm more of a lurker by habit, and I only post when I feel a topic deserves a large group discussion. But I like to socially network on a personal basis for more one-on-one discussion. Right now I have several contacts I can't even message

Have you ever thought about that your contacts can't even reply because they are still blocked because they are not participating enough?
You can check it out and than come back to us.

Oop's so it is not a dating site and there are rules!! Oh my I have wandered onto the wrong site!! (JOKING!)  Steve sex-pest! 

It took you a long time to work that out,,, Are you Brazilian