In Love with a Dominican woman

Planner, I'm still here. I've read every post.

Why did you move to the DR & then choose to live in squalor?

Because I wanted the experience. I did not live in squalor!  I lived very simply and very much like a local.  I got to know my neighbors in a way I never could have living in a different way. I got to know so much about the culture honey it was truly amazing.

If I had to do it again I would not do it differently!   

And glad you are still here honey!

To: Planner thanks for the welcome.
To: classy gringo. That post was deep. Its got me thinking now. I think I will stick to the devil I know and just get a girl back home. Or take gypsie's advise and change them every week if I mean a dominican. Because the truth is even if I know they are all bad if she's charming enough and pretty enough and I spend enough time with her she might be able to sink her claws in and have me catching feelings or something silly. It's not normal to spend a month long holiday with someone and feel nothing at the end. All the ones I met when I was there last month were pretty bad though. I couldn't understand how girls so pretty could be so cold and  calculating .everything they do is aimed at getting your money and only getting your money

Planner : I would love to try living with the locals and experiencing authentic dominican culture. But is it safe though?and how much spanish do I  need to know?started studying it a month ago

Brit  I am a fairly small female so it is safe if you are smart...... and I knew  5 words of Spanish when I moved here. But I was  crazy and I don't recommend what I did to many others......LOL

Thanks Bob, I appreciated the advice you and some of the other members told me when I was going through my issue. I understand how he feels, but hopefully he can avoid some of the pain I did. We will see.

Yep final chapter is not written yet but like a poorly written crime novel we have all figured it out...except the main character.

Bob K

Planner - Yes I agree you should not move here for one person, you should move to DR for you. The point I was trying to make was before he even thinks about bringing her to his country is to live in DR to get the whole picture. That's amazing you truly went Dominican, I couldn't go that deep I love my Presidente Frio too much. haha.  Hopefully he understands we are not being cynical, just being real. I work remotely and would love to try to stay there do you use a VOIP phone ? If so, how are you able to get the call quality? I rented a nice apt with a backup generator for the power outages but the internet was not enough for me to have quality VOIP calls and I use the phone a lot with my job. The max I usually stay out there is a month at a time because customers start telling me my phone keeps breaking up. I used Claro and tricom which both are supposed to be the best you can get and still call quality was not there. I used Claro en Zona Colonial and Tricom at the Malecon Center. The calls just were not working out some days which is a big problem with my job it's 20 hours of chat and 20 hours phone time. If you have any suggestions feel free to share I would stay there if I could make the technology work. I've had better luck in Colombia, no power outages and call quality is pretty good for VOIP.

I agree,  live here first and see what the relationship and you are made of.......

Claro Codetel is now going fibre optic and you may find a big difference now. I don't currently use VOIP but I did at one point. AND  call costs to the USA are the same as local calls so that really helps too. IF the call quality is off at any given time then pick up a cell phone and dial away.

TheBrit  - They're just trying to live a little better. They may not be up on worldly affairs but believe me they treachery down pat when it comes to relationships. Never underestimate them. There is not better player than dominicans.  But some of them will make you laugh you say "hello" to them online and their next sentence is hey can you buy me a  cellphone. lol  It's like wow can I get your name 1st? LOL They're are some genuine ones too. I'm not saying they're all bad. After your 2nd visit you can tell pretty quick which ones is just about the pesos and which ones might be nice. We have to look at things from their eyes too. A Lot of men visit them from different countries with promises of a better life only to return back to their countries never to be heard from again once they got what they wanted so they've had their hearts broken too.   But it's a great country I absolutely love it. And I have been there several times and never worried about safety except one time and I got out of the situation real quick. Every city has their bad parts no matter where you live and when you find out where they are try to avoid them. But I walked around at night and never had any major issue. I'll be back their the 24th of this month so if you happen to be out there drop me a message and we can grab a President Frio.

You need good internet for VOIP calls. Otherwise, you have to use callback service. Try www.diamondcard.us for a VOIP account.

Does the electricity go out every day in the DR? Does it go out the same time every day & what time of the day does it go out?

It all depends on:
1. where you live
2. what grid you are on (high priority vs low)
3.  what day of the week it is.  We are on a high priority line (24/7) and we lose our power every Tuesday for 4 hours or more and then off and on during the week for a short time.  Not every day and sometimes not even every week.
4.  What the electric Gods or idiots are up to that week.

Bob K

The electrical grid of the DR is very difficult to set your schedule by unless you have an inverter. For those without an inverter it provides a hardship for sure.

Yes almost all "gringo" properties have backup and most condos and apts have it as well.

Bob K

Yes the electricity  goes out every day in 95 % of the country.  The other 5%  it will go out occasionally.  Circuits are graded based on payment history and stealing - An A gets 24/7 power. A "B"  will have a  scheduled outage of 4 hours a day,  a "C" circuit will have 2 scheduled outages of 4 hours a day and a "D" circuit is hell. 

On top of scheduled outages (which are published by the way at http://www.circuitos.gob.do/   )   there are unscheduled outages. These occur because of line wear and tear,  storm damage, accidents or because of a shortage of power.  They happen whenever and you cannot count on anything.   A circuits do get outages and changes are made whenever the distributors feel like it. 

Pretty sure your girl doesn't live in an A circuit as most don't.   And likely she cannot afford an invertor and batteries.

And Bob love the comment -  Electrical Gods or Idiots..... hahahahaha.

Planner glad it made  you smile.  It wouldn't be so funny if it were not true

Bob K

What frosts  me is when the power goes on then off then on then off....Some times it can happen to us 10 times in 20 min.  Just turn the damn power off till some one with an ounce of knowledge can fix the problem.  This can be hell on your electronics. We, even on an "A"  line, usually have between 108-109. Also hell on your electronics.

Bob K

One of the major issues with living here. You must be able to adapt!

Yes and most of us have.  That is why we have a generator and you have an inverter.

Bob K

Exactly

We don't have many electro domésticos in our casita. Just a couple of fans and the flat screen. For a PC we have a laptop. So when the power goes out on the schedualed days we run through and unplug stuff so we don't get nailed by the startup surge. We only have 2 circuts. Again my life style is not for for the faint of heart. Someday í will upgrade.

Real nice Groby57 maybe yu cud yous speel cheek next time. 

My girl lives in San Pedro de Macoris. But, I'm wondering if that's the reason I can't  reach her from 11:30 pm to 10 am...she has no electricity during those hours.

Nope that is not the reason.  Normal scheduled outages are 4 to 5 hours at a time.  And people charge their phones!

Jac, you are grasping at limp straws.

Jac before you asume anything or are motivated by the unknown truth. Seek it. Live in it. Then decide what the truth is. Everyone has had their experiences. Make yours YOURS. I was told many things about my testicular cancer prior to the removal and treatment. After 22 years later, well most of it never happened the way it did for others. Your how old? Even though I try to refrain from being as direct as my good friend Gypsy,  I need to tell you, quit asuming or listening to others if you want to find the answer. Go and find it. Stay away from fantasy land. Go meet her family and her friends. If she seems hesitant to do this,,, well this should tell you something. If your seen with her in her environment, soon you will see how she is respected or not in her community. Good quality women have roots. So do men. That is why I am running to the DR!!!! The people who respond in this forum have heard and seen stuff. You owe it to your heart to seek the truth at ground level. Her level. There is always that chance this is a a good one. That's what we are hoping. As long as your waffling and chasing the rainbows, your won't find what your seeking. Sometimes you have to dig. Soul search and find your self first.

Jac give it up. You are chasing a ghost.

Bob K

My girlfriend just proved to me I'm the only man in her life. She responded to my text at 1 am and then again @ 5 am. That proves she's not in bed with someone else when I can't  reach her. That's  all the proof I need!

So she took a night off.  Big deal. Everyone needs a day of rest.

Just think there is light at the end of the tunnel but in  your case I fear it is a train.

Bob K

Bob K, why are you so negative? Not every woman in the DR is running a scam.

Lac -  you are correct not every woman is running a scam. 

There is a rule in investing and it applies to life:  IF  it seems too good to be true,  It is too good to be true!

Honey there are specific reasons women fall for guys  35 years older then them. There is a reason women fall for guys 20 years older then they are.

There is a reason women "fall" for gringos of all ages. There is a reason men fall for  gringas of all shapes sizes and ages. . 

IF your friend came to you and said I am in love with a woman who I met online 3 months ago and I met like once or twice, oh yes  I forgot, she doesn't speak my language, she has  3 kids (not sure)  and she is dirt poor, uneducated but works hard (so she tells me).     And yes she is 35 years younger then me!   

What would you say to your friend?  Now be honest here.....

Could it work?  Yes

Is it likely to work? No.

Is she honest? Possibly

Is she probably what she says she is? No.

I don't think he gets it.

The small head is a powerful thing.

Yes he is going to end up on the scape pile when all is said and done. I just hope it does not cost him a lot of $$$ or brain cells



Bob K

I hope not as well.

I believe because of the language barrier & cultural differences, there's miscommunication between my sweetie & me. I still teach & while I was on summer break, she could reach me around the clock via Whatsapp. Now that school is back in session, I don't respond to her until after 4 pm when I'm done teaching. I think she's a little insecure & irritated about not being able to reach me during the day (she doesn't understand I can't just pull out my phone & text her back). I think she tries to get revenge by not responding to me from 11:30 pm to 10:00 am.

So how large is that palace you have built your self on the de Nile (denial) river.
Bob K

Bob that cracked me up.

So,  a grown woman who gets revenge by not texting you back.  Not mature at all.  Sorry that does not fly even if I believed it.

Not a chance my friend.