In Love with a Dominican woman

First welcome to the forums.  I  hope you have read the various threads here as they will give you lots of information that I am afraid you probably need.

So,  tell us how you met?  The more info the better.

Here is my take - the fact you are asking these questions tells me you are identifying red flags! And my friend they are definitely  red flags.

It is highly likely she is not sitting there waiting for you.  No one is unreachable like that to the one they "love",  and if she is not talking to you on whatsapp - why the hell not? 

Sorry honey but in all likelihood she is taking you for a ride.

I met her on Dominican Cupid. She was the only woman who didn't seem to care about money. She didn't come across as a gold digger or prostitute. I asked questions & she answered intelligently & sincerely. She seems like the faithful type based on her answers. She's been through a lot with the men in the DR...a lot of bad experiences.

She doesn't know I'm on Whatsapp. Monday thru Friday, I check sporadically while I'm working & she's always. But, never from 11:30 pm to 10:00 am.  Otherwise, we spend hours going back & forth with each other on Whatsapp.

It is sad, but it appears that you, like a thousand others, have fallen prey to an age old scam.  "Fleece The Gringo".  Yes, read the many posts in regards to  this topic, my own included.  The premise of true love is not false, only the circumstances.   Beware, the wolves are howling in the night & you are their meal.

The smart ones know how to play the game I am sorry to say.   You really  have no idea who she is unless you live here!   

So here is a thought for you - just show up.  Don't tell her you are coming, no hints nothing, Just show up and see what happens. Best to show up at like  1 in the morning!

Why would she spend so much time with me on Whatsapp? She's attractive & could have anyone. She spends so much time with me on Whatsapp...how could she possibly be with anyone else?  She sends photos of her children & other family members. She just seems so caring. She hasn't asked me for anything, just my time & me.

She can't have anyone she wants,  pretty women are everywhere here.  She wants a man who can give her the life she wants for herself and her kids. It is a really common game here. She wants a gringo and the wallet and visa that goes with it.

Could we be wrong? sure but its not likely we are, Sorry but we hear a version of this story all the time, here and in other sites as well. I see it daily as I have lived here over 12 years! 

Those that work are few and far between.  They tend to work for those who both live here and  where there is a cultural and language understanding!  You really know very very little about her real life, about her or about the culture.   Please please slow down and spend the time to learn everything you can about her, this country and the culture. 

Then if it is  real we will all chear for you!  If it is not then you can move on with your life.

If I showed up @ 1 am, what would I find? I figure if she's prostituting from 11 pm to 10 am, how does she stay awake to text all day. Wouldn't she sleep during the day? Also, she runs a hair salon from her home. I've seen the hair dryers, etc in the photos she sends.

Oh honey I am not suggesting she is prostituting but interesting your mind went there!!!!  I would have thought that is when her Dominican husband or boyfriend is around.

Photos!!!  Well I can take photos of my doctor's office and that doesn't make me a doctor.

I am saying do NOT take everything at face value. Do NOT trust until you have reason to do so!  I and many others learned this the hard way.

What...a husband or boyfriend? I was just there in the DR with her for a long weekend! There was no indication of another man. I met her family.

That may not mean anything. You need to read other threads and get educated on some things.

Where did you stay for your long weekend?

I am shaking my head.  Man what is wrong with you.

Yes you are being taken
Yes she probably has others "on the line"
Yes you are not her only one
Yes if you support her you are the ONLY one, for the time being
Yes your chance of a normal relationship is ZERO
Yes she is interested in  your money
Yes you are not the first one she has taken in
Yes she wants you to take her to the US and her chances are once again ZERO
Yes you need to wake up and take a reality check.

Read all the various threads on this and WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to be so blunt but we see these incredible stories all time.  I mean really what 35 year old is interested in a 70 year old who cannot find a relationship at home but need to look at Dominican Cupid

Bob K
(not in a good mood today}

Bob you done good. I was being way too nice.

Yes Bob, you said it all. It amazes me when ever I hear these stories and how naive people can be. Turn it around Lac and ask yourself, when you were 35 would you have been interested in a 70 year old woman.

We stayed @ the Renaissance Santo Domingo Jaraqua. I've had lots of women. I could find an American, but American women come with a lot of drama & are demanding. My DR sweetie is so easygoing; she knows how to please me.  I'm a 70 yr old man who looks about 50.  I'm in great shape.  I can give her a new beginning; show her the world.  Things she could never get in the DR.  She looks good on my arm & makes me feel young.

Even i know shes "working" you, but you should keep dating her... I mean a relationship is a contract in which both parties benefit. You get laid with a young dominican with some junk on the trunk, easygoing drama free and she gets the visa to gringolandia and a better lifestyle. YOLO.

You can have great sex, have a beauty on your arm every day of your life. Easy to do, just change them once a week & you will save a huge chunk of change & save a broken heart.   READ the posts of those who have gone through this & learned that the truth is often hard to bear.  I'm one who learned it the hard way. Lucky for me I woke up in time to see the truth. It takes more than a great piece of tail with a gorgeous woman to turn me into a blithering idiot.  I too fell for a consummate actress.  The DR abounds with them.  You do not find reality in such short time. There are some wonderful women in the DR, but you won't find them advertising their charms on line.  You reached 70, now use your experience to recognize exactly where you screwed up.   Do just show up. I did & my doubts were proven justified beyond belief!    Do as I suggested, ... with a different one every week.   Paradise is in your mind,....... hers is in your wallet.

That gypsy crack me up, change them once a week hahahaha

I didn't say it to be funny, just telling the truth.

StanR wrote:

Yes Bob, you said it all. It amazes me when ever I hear these stories and how naive people can be. Turn it around Lac and ask yourself, when you were 35 would you have been interested in a 70 year old woman.

If she was very rich and could get me out of the DR ....YES (assuming I was a native)

I see it all the time on the beach some fat 65 year old woman (tourist) walking hand in hand with a 20 year old Dominican stud

Bob K

Yup it works both ways here.

lac 334
Please PM me if you could.

Your "little" head will almost always lead to trouble if you let it take the helm.

Bob K

Bob K wrote:

Your "little" head will almost always lead to trouble if you let it take the helm.

Bob K

This is a male disease.

Yes it works both ways, but not for love. The first time I went to the DR I met a young senorita that was working at the hotel I was staying at. One night we went to a club in another hotel and she seen a young man she knew. She spoke with him briefly and I asked if it was one of her X-boyfriends. She said, oh no, he is gay. This young man was over 6 ft tall and strikingly handsome. He was there entertaining the ladies.
I have been working in places like India, Bangladesh, and now Africa. When I walk into a club in any of these places, I might as well have a neon light over my head($$$). I am seen as some ones meal ticket, and that is all I am to them. Sure you can meet some one who will enjoy your company and you may have some good times together.  You need to know where to draw the line.
If you want to live in a fantasy world where you think a 35 year old will be in love with a 70 year old, then go for it. Enjoy it while you can. I prefer to remove the rose colour glasses. When you find out there is more to relationships then just sex, you may have to revaluate your priorities.

Actually Stan it is not a male disease. It works both ways!   Women are not immune to delusion!  Google sanky and you will see.

I guess you're right. I can only speak from the male prospective. This is what I witnessed my first time in DR. Older women chasing there fanticies.

It actually happens to all ages,  all sizes,  from all groups!   Like some women, these particular men are very skilled.

I also want to make a point here  - I am NOT talking about all Dominican women or men.  MOST  Dominicans are hard working, honest  people.   This thread is specifically about the other group.

Planner so true it is a small population but so easy to spot you start to think it is the norm.

Bob K

My DR sweetie & I had a disagreement because she doesn't respond to my text messages between 11:30 pm to 10:00 am. Now she won't respond to me at all on Whatsapp & posted another man's photo for her profile photo. What should I do? Why is she doing this to me?

Female 35 and Dominican? Her days of entertaining clientele are pretty much over by now.
Female 35 and Dominican? Good chance she has kids and grand-kids anywhere from 2 - 21 years old.
Female 35 and Dominican? Good chance she has wisdom and understanding way beyond our own.
Female 35 and Dominican? It is certain she knows the risk of putting all her eggs in one basket.
Female 35 and Dominican? Her instincts tell her to be cautious, just like us.
Female 35 and Dominican? She works, cooks, cares for her kids and or grand-kids, bathes, and then sleeps.             
Female 35 and Dominican? She has WiFi, no cell service, her salon clients call her on Whats App.
Female 35 and Dominican? Her kids also use her cell phone for their social media needs and they read our stuff.
Female 35 and Dominican? She enjoys a weekend with AC and to be pampered. After all she lives a humble life.
Female 35 and Dominican? Her level of intimacy with a North American male is a reflection of hope.
Female 35 and Dominican? Yes she will fall in love.
Female 35 and Dominican? Yes, her mind races at the possibilities.
Female 35 and Dominican? She can't help it if we misinterpret a relationship for something else.
Female 35 and Dominican? She knows about the Ashley Madison crises and its curse on North American soil.
Female 35 and Dominican? How can she meet someone who would treat her respectfully. Her options are limited.
Female 35 and Dominican? She has been in relationships that produced pain and hardship. Some young handsome male, most likely has a moto and some flashy cash sometimes, swooped her off her feet for a weekend, and wanting to escape the pain of poverty, for a brief moment, let herself succumb to the primal instincts that have, and always will, break any wall of discipline we may have though we had.
Female 35 and Dominican? THIS IS MY FUTURE WIFE,,,,,,,,

This is how I respond when I feel grouchy.

lac334 wrote:

My DR sweetie & I had a disagreement because she doesn't respond to my text messages between 11:30 pm to 10:00 am. Now she won't respond to me at all on Whatsapp & posted another man's photo for her profile photo. What should I do? Why is she doing this to me?

You had the audacity to call her out that is why she "did" this to you.   This is one of the ways gringos get manipulated. You pissed her off now she will retaliate.  She will maybe "allow" you back in her good graces but it will cost you:  money (maybe)  control (for sure)  guilt (for sure)  etc. 

She is way more adept at this game then you are!

Groby57, would you hang in there or would you give up? Do I take a chance with this woman? I understand what you're saying & I'm truly touched by it.

Grab your wallet, testicles, big brain and RUN and I mean RUN AWAY as your 70 year old legs will carry you.

You have been had period.

Bob K

I am not in the advice business. My experiences are all I have to go on. Follow your heart. Forget about yourself for a season, that is if you truly love her. Remember if this don't work out, you have millions of options, she might not. Take a chance and go live in her world. Find out how she has lived most of her life. Uncloak. Forget the arm candy stuff, and turn up the bachata music. Yes, this is me saying this. My fear is that we all are vulnerable to the frontal cortex and its dopamine influx into our ability to make good decisions at times. On the advice of a few of my newly encountered acquaintances here in the expat world, I have started ,,,,, a book. The leading introduction and the first part will be on this very thing. The joys and heartaches of change. Bob K speaks a truth from a certain perspective as well Planner. And gypsy? Listen to him. He pulls no punches, yet he knows the heartbeat of people, real people. His mistakes have allowed him to speak the truth. The pain I feel when comments are made without merit, the stories of others who have encountered many so called rejections of the fantasy they entertain, are most likely the lack of understanding of a very poor culture. Dominicans will be hesitate to give up what little they have for the promise of something they could never imagine. Why? They can never go back to their old life without humility and ridicule of their hoping for something better. Sound familiar?

Bob K, what if Groby57 is right? Maybe I should move to the DR & immerse myself in her world; get a better understanding of where she's coming from. I don't want to miss out on true love!

I challenge you to do just that. If you are REALLY in love with her,  drop everything and move in with her. Do not live in a "gringo" house or apartment, live her life with her!  Lets see how long that lasts.  Not from your perspective I am sure you will enjoy living with no electricity for  10 or 12 hours a day, water sometimes, no hot water ever,  rice and beans daily (some really love them)  etc etc.

Watch and see how fast she demands to be moved to live "your" lifestyle!

Sorry - its really easy to be all touchy feely on this stuff!   All  "without merit" comments withstanding - I have experienced it,  I have seen it dozens and dozens of time,  I have watched the damage -  financial, emotional and physical at the hands of various "loved ones".   

If it looks like a dog, barks like a dog and smells like a damn dog - it is NOT a duck!

If you think about it she does need to sleep. My DR girlfriend, I tuck her in via Whats App around 10:30 to 11:00 PM.  She needs time in the morning to get her kids to school, cook and prepare her house for her clients. She sews pants and makes curtains and padded seat covers now. Your GF most likely is offended first because she needs sleep and possibly perceives you don't recognize her personal daily stuff as important. Everything from cooking, to laundry, and bathing is a major hardship for them. They don't see it that way, its just a way of life. Her body, mind and soul was celebrating the time away from all of that. That is why she was able to enjoy an intimate time with you. Understand you can't take her from all that in an instant. Even if you applied for a fiance visa to bring her stateside to marry, that would take about a year. As far as a tourist VISA, you need to provide an affidavit of support for her if she comes. This means she is your financial responsibility for 10 years even if she ran off. She still needs to live her life as normally as she always had. An upgrade in her world is not acceptable to her peers. It causes a division. Once she is here, she still needs to maintain a degree of loyalty to her homeland and family. What if something happened to us? She must go back home. It is an investment of time, finance, emotion and a ton of patience. If you don't posses these qualities or struggle with them, well it could be a roller coaster ride for sure.

Planner is right, no gringo house, and no order in pizza and burgers. Buy from the truck, swat the fly's away as they try to help you eat your food. Endure the power outages, the heat, the noise and the many people stopping by to check you out, Oh and then lack of sleep, ohhh ok,, then try your hand, or should I say luck at finding the right time and condition for an intimate encounter with your pareja. Planner is right,,,,go to ground zero. Did I do OK here Planner? Is this the right way to help someone know what they really want? Wow I am becoming just like you, hehehe,,,, Seriously those of us who have ventured beyond the boundaries of the glossy layover via resort life and such,,,, we do know some stuff.

Ok, Groby57, I understand what you're saying. But, why post a photo of another man as your Whatsapp profile photo. Every time I contact her (vice versa), I have to look at another man's face.