can he still be married

Hi i met a man on line from egypt  he told me he was divorced , after a while he asked to marry me i went to egypt we married in the court house , we applied for his visa for him to come to uk he has been here three and a half years he goes back to egypt every 5 months to see his children from his ex marriage , i had some doubts last time he went  he left his laptop , i found picture on it of his ex wife and children and a new child when he came back i confronted him  he said that he only divorced her 10 days before i went to marry him and he slept with her before we married , and she got pregnant i was mad and asked him why he never told me this in the first place about the baby he is telling me , he never know about the baby because he was in uk because he got his visa 3 weeks after we applied  , i find this strange  this baby was one month old when he came to uk and he is saying no one told him till he returned to egypt when the child was 3 months old , i asked him why he never told me after 3 years he is saying he know what my reaction would be , i told him he is a liar and if i had not seen the pictures i would never have know .in the pictures she is sat in her night clothes i said if you are divorced how can she sit like this if she is Muslim he said its her business he dont care he just went to see his children , what i want to know is even thoe i saw the divorce paper can he have remarried her , i have told him i think he remarried her  , he is telling me its impossible because we married in court and in the majid in egypt i don't believe a word he says .

are you sure about the divorce paper are not fake? is it submit by official egyptian stamp ? may be its only drama , coz as u said its not possible divorced woman send her pic while she wearing nights,

I think that the divorce papers that you really need to see are your own!!! Turn and run, you're being played for a fool. Consult a divorce lawyer as soon as possible and then see about getting this lowlife deported back to Egypt where he belongs. Either do it now or wait til his NEXT child is born and you get the same lame excuse that he didn't even know about the kid. Wake up and smell the coffee, girl!!!!

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil & Canada Expert, Expat-blog Team.

I am so sorry to hear of your very stressful situation and hope you make the right decision in staying or leaving this man.
I am an English lady with a niece who has experienced a similar situation to yourself some years back but I thought you might be interested to hear her story..
She was married but divorced with two sons 12 and 15 yrs old.
She has her own home (on mortgage) and a good job earning a decent wage living in London.
She went on holiday to Egypt and met an Egyptian man who was very kind to her.
She kept in touch with him and the next we knew she was going over there on a regular basis to see him and his parents and extended family.
A couple of times while she was there her credit card went missing and money was spent against it about £8000 in total.
When she came back my nieces son in tears phoned me to say that his mother was selling the house and moving to Egypt to marry this man and take him and his brother with her. I was horrified that she was taking the boys out of education and rang her immediately.
She said the man loved her and treat her like a queen as did his family and she was very happy and to be happy for her.
She went over and was married and later told me she had borrowed money so her husband could make extensions and changes to the home they were to live in. She said she was going to find work in Egypt but never did and had to come back home.
The house was on the market for sale and she continued to work in England sending money over to the husband.
As luck would have it the boys stayed here and she was unable to sell the house but when she went back to see her husband he had married another women moved her into the house and not told her. He said she could still come and be his first wife but she needed to sell her house as he needed the money.
My niece changed her religion for this man and was prepared to give up everything for him and he turned out to be an evil piece of shit who just wanted her money. She is still paying off all the loans she took out.

the divorce papers were sent to british embassy and the accepted them im not doubting the papers im asking if he could have remarried her again after we married

Yes he can marry more than one women as I said in my previous mail this happened to my niece, I believe they can married three women.

yes i guess he can can be still married , we have what we cal Zoag Ourfi , this type of marriage is made only with two papers written at the lawyer  office and its not registered or documented this is the first hint , the other is that he can remarry her the legal marriage after he divorced her , but my advice to you is that if u really love him and u are sure he loves you and he is always with u and good to u keep him and when he is back to egypt ask him to take u with him .

in fact most Egyptian men are not comfortable with their own wives because they are not emotional and not romantic , cold and boring , that's why they prefer , western wives cause they are hot , passionate and romantic and its sometimes hard to leave his first wife because this will hurt his children thus he tries to make compromise .

i have read you Story and i guess this man is stupid , if a man found a woman whom sacrifice her everything for him just to be with him he is a big loser this woman is a woman not to be left alone or deceived ,i really wonder hos stupid he is and how he encourage her to sell her house and leave her children in cold without home , and as any country there is a good and the bad and the ugly  :) she is not lucky cause she met the band and the ugly only , and please don't generalize this about Egyptian men , please this won't be fare cause in the other hand i can see many foreigners married to Egyptian men and they are successful , its only a matter of destiny a fate .

Hi there,

I`m feeling ill about this specially the "night clothes" sharp remark you mentioned!!!!! but i won`t jump to conclusions anything only god knows i might be wrong.
but i can tell you your options.

The fact he is married again etc. is no problem (from a religious point of view) but UPON YOUR knowledge and concent!!! the deciept is the very cheap part. (supposing he isn`t innocent sure)
There is some options for you,
1- ask him for his Egyptian ID and get a cheap lawyer here to investigate , you might find such services related in the Egyptian Embassy??? they might give you contacts for a trustworthy Egyptian lawyer .. this usually will not need real deal of money.

2- He Might be married to her without papers except a private document between them both!!
( a "de facto" like marraige, in this case nothing can be proven sorrowfully except his dubious words.

I`m feeling sorry as you look as an honest person and helped hi somehow.. but as i said i don`t know for sure what he is doing.

its up to you to judge everything after making sure of the real deal.

Good luck.

thanks for your reply i asked for the id but he says he left it in egypt last time he went , which i find strange because eery other time he as had it

you can get their address right there , and and make surprising visit to make sure, but before doing that,  you have to put in mind consequences, he might be still married ...he may lie and may not, if you don`t trust him, you have to move by your self with out informing him any thing ...........

if you trust of his love to you "you can ask your heart", then forget and even forgive, some times man hide something from his wife, just because he love and dont want to lose you, our life in Arab countries, is totally different than life in the UK, but, the key of your question, is your heart, ask your heart, will never lie on you, you are the only one closer to the situation, dont listen to others, and judge by yourself, you, and only you, can judge, never involve others in your personal life, there is too much things, we as a strangers dont know about, then please, listen to your heart, and believe me, its not easy to find love now a days, then, if he love you, never even think to leave him, ask your heart.

In Egypt married man can not get married to another wife untill take a permission from his first wife and he can not do that beacuse it shows in his ID.If he still married he couldn't marry you unless getting permission written from his first wife in the front of the court .she has to come to court with you and him and sign.so i think you need to re-think not to have a doubet to have blessing and happy life with your husband.
God bless your marriage

Hi again Corrina,

I certainly hope that you're not going to take the advice of other Egyptian men who appear to be telling you to "follow your heart", trust this guy, or make a surprise visit the next time he's in Egypt. None of those are going to improve your situation one little bit.

I think that the information that you got from jeanie was much more important. This man you love is almost certainly cheating on you and at the very least being completely dishonest about what he's doing when back in Egypt. It doesn't take a psychic advisor to see what your future with him is going to be...... just more of the same and even worse.

Cut your losses and divorce the jerk. It's not going to be easy, but it will be much more difficult and painful for you in the future once you realize that you just can't tolerate this situation any longer. There are more fish in the sea, girl! Go after a Marlin and don't settle for a CARP from some scuzzy riverbottom.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

If you love him listen to your heart don't destroy your family life and your love life .you are the only one feel the pain.if someone told you leave him he/she dosen't care he/she not gonna get hurt.The hurt is only on you

Hello Corrina, im so sorry for that situation but i have to tell you  that  it can be explained like this
1- he never really left her ( he can show you any paper and say this is divorce paper doesn't matter unless you can read Arabic)
2- he re-married her ( thats easy for him, he just need to tell her that he married you to get the visa and soon he is taking her with him to UK, believe me it hurts a lot but,  happens too much)
3- maybe  she doesn't know that you even exist
but one thing i know
is that  he knew about the baby since the beginning, coz a pregnancy for the egyptian its not a secret to be kept specially  from the father whatever his situation is, wherever he is.
I know u must be suffering  a lot,  forgive me if i seem so heartless   by the way i talk
but I'm living in Egypt  enough to  know what  I'm saying.
Once again, I'm really sorry about everything...WE really don't deserve that.

and you forgot to tell her that the situation may get worse if she have a child  with this man
then shes going to get really troubled

Marwa you are great woman to destroy families

the divorce paper was in english it had to be translated for the British government so i know he was divorced from this women if you read my post i asked if he could have gone and remarried her after the divorce i know the divorce papers were real because he had to send the original and translated ones to my embassy i want to know is it possible he went and re married her

thanks for your reply i have been back to Egypt with him 3 times met his mum , but i still have doubts

yes its possible that he remarried her

I am honest
there's a big diffrence about telling the true and telling others what you 'think' they want to listen
this is the diffrence about me and you

powerman

Ms honest

Hi  there
I  feel  very  sorry  for you  dear.  I hate to  say, but once  the  trust  is  gone, its never going to feel  the same. Maybe he has lied to you, it all sounds  very suspicious i have to say.
I also have good experience with Egyptian men, but I was fortunate to have worked in Egypt long enough to know how they can easily trick foreign women into mariage, visas etc...just to escape Egypt when they think they can have a better life eslewhere. I am sure you have heard all of that already.
I managed to stay well clear of any tricks knowing how they can be, and unfortunately, as they can have more than one wife, he may well still be, or maybe re-married  to her. She is more  likely to accept  you knowing you can provide more for her husband which will no doubt assist her and her children. It all depends on HOW much you love him and are prepared to accept this if it is true. I still live in Egypt, and see  these kind of situations  daily. I wish you luck dear and think carefully! 
Tracy

Why he would sleep with her is he was divorcing or divorced? Something is not right. I ‎always tell women NEVER ever marry a divorced man with kids, you always will be the ‎last in the list of priorities and your man will be away with “the other family” while in a ‎while. You should leave him and start a new life and next time, when you choose think ‎over if the situation is convenient for you. Remember a Muslim man can remarry and ‎doesn't even need permission from the first wife, she doesn't even have to know.‎

Hi Corina I am really sorry to hear about your  situation. Clearly you are stressed, and to be honest with you  whether he is still married divorced or remarried to this woman it is causing a rift of distrust between you and him. He does not seem to be honest or transparent with you and in a marriage, at least a good marriage trust and honesty are paramount.

If I were you I would make the time to visit this 'wife' 'ex wife' in Cairo and confront here tell her that you are also his wife and want to know the situation. There is nothing worse than not knowing better to know and enable yourself to move on with your life, and clear your mind. At the moment he is causing you great distress and your life is a standstill and you cannot continue to live in that way.

I agree with Mr.Woodward's comments, he has given you sound advice. To be honest with you I have seen other British ladies in similar situations. Ignore the cavalier remarks from the local macho men who no doubt are on his side.Tracey has also given you spot on advice, she is one of the few who are honest on here and tell it like it is. Many of the older women who are being played by Egyptian men for money and visa are in denial and will put up with any kind of cr@p in order to keep him. That is very sad, and they will attack other women if you point out the obvious, that they are frankly being played for a mug.

There is a lovely elderly  English lady in my block from Lancashire, she is retired from a local council and received a good pension. She invested in an apartment in our block and set up a property website where other expats can buy sell or rent out their property.

She met and married a local playboy who had been working as a waiter at a hotel in Salsheesh (not sure if that is the correct spelling) but it's  a more upmarket resort than Hurghada. This local romeo landed on his feet through the marriage.

The kind  woman set him up in a car leasing business which he uses for taxi services or leasing out to ex pats and tourists.  He has seven cars and the use of her apartment when she flies back to the UK.

There's a saying 'When the cats away the mouse will play' Well that is most definitely the case where this chancer is involved. He brings a sucession of women back to his wife's apartment. You wonder how he explains the wedding pictures to them.

He has a string of g/friends from Russia Chekoslovakia in fact he married the Check woman and has a daughter with her she now lives in Germany and is supported by the German partner of her mother.

He also has an Egyptian wife in Cairo who recently gave birth to their son.In the meantime he is dating lots of tourist women. He event visits their close neighbour  an attractive lonely   divorcee  from Belgium who happens to be good  friends with his wife. He delivers her crates of Rose wine from a local warehouse,  (which she pays for) and no doubt takes advantage when she is tipsy, preying  on her lonliness.

The dilemna for us neighbours is whether we should tell the wife about her husband's galavanting. Does she know already and is she in denial. Would we want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage, and what a sham marriage it is. He is 20 years her junior. But clearly ahe cannot have any self respect or self esteem, because she need only read his texts and skype messages to see the amount of women he is stringing along, including herself. Men like that are a risk to a woman's mental and emotional well being and also pose a physical health risk.

So you see Corina you are not the only one who is living with a less than honest cheating Egyptian husband. It is in their culture, they have little respect for women I have yet to see an Egyptian g/friend or wife sitting with them at a coffee bar, yet the men are out socialising night and day.

There are other website forums dedicated to cheating Egyptian husbands and sham marriages. There are thousands of similar stories to yours.

At the end of the day only you can decide what you want or need to do. It is after all your life. Whatever choices you make I wish you the very best. You deserve the best we all do.

Hiya Corrine,

I am sorry for your dilemma, and I know that you are not here for to be berated, so can I can you some questions please?

You say that you met on a dating website (no probs with that), but how often did you date this guy before marrying him? How much time did you spend with this man and his brothers, sisters, friends? How many stories did you hear about his childhood? I understand that the Egyptian man are very different to most European men - they have different beliefs and treat women very differently, but had you met in the UK and maybe spent a lot of time together - do you think that you may have seen this potentially unscrupulous side to his character?

Seriously, under the exact same circumstances that you married your husband, would you have married a local lad?

Also: your question is about honesty and truth. For what reasons did you marry this man Corrine? I would be very interested to know.

I sorry if I have upset you, but I think it is important to try to understand why your husband seems to be being so very "sneaky".

By the way, I almost fell for the charms of an Egyptian scoundrel - but a friend of mine sat me down and said, " You have known this man for two months, spent 12 days in his company......would you marry a local lad under the exact same circumstances?"

I hope that you are not angry with me for these questions - I do not mean to be horrible,

Chuckle_butty

Hi there.
Sorry  I  dont  know yourname, but thank you for your  nice  comments  about what I said to this poor  woman whi is obviously being duped into all sorts  of lies and deception.
You like me seem to be well aware  of the senario of 'older foreign women' and younger Egyptian men.
I won't say I didnt experience this personally as I would be lying! However..yes I am an older woman...but I am also very wise and as a business woman, I dont have time for all that crap.
Yes, I get lonely at times...but I have been divorced now for 16 years....that  says  something!!  That I am not and  never was prepared to fall  for bullshit as handsome or flirty he might be!
I am a good looking, mature femaleso get alot of attention...but I put my 'camels'  head on when walking outside..ignoring the usual cat calls and 'habibi' crap.
Iam  working  in  Hurghada...not  sure  where you are or your nationailty.? But I am British...worked and lived in Cairo and Luxor over the last few years. 
Take care
Tracy

hi there ,
this man ( innocent till proved guilty) if your doubts are true ,( he said he divorced her 10 days before marrying you)  didnt divorce his wife at all , he cheated on both of you ,
the divorce certificate is true and not true same time , but how? he went to a notary office and divorced his wife (without telling her) gave a wrong address of her to make sure she wont get the divorce paper or know about it , then married you and submitted the divorce certificate , so 100i% she doesn't know you exist , we dont know what lie he told her about how he got to your country , i guess he lied to both of you ,, so the best way to be 100 % sure s to look at his divorce certificate to see if it was final or not , or you investigate yourself to see if what i have said s what really happened or he is innocent , 
regards

Sorry to be brutal - but for heavens sake get real.
the guy didn't divorce his wife at all - he just went ahead and married you with (and she knew)
how difficult do you think it is to get these so called documents over here - not very.
she probably knows about you - very common - but accepts it as he keeps her and her4 children in a good way.
he comes home every so often to see his kids and do his husbandly duties.  His whole family know the scenario
it is you who have been left in the dark I am afraid to say.

I have known many who have ended up in this same situation.
look after yourself, your property, your money and get rid of him before you waste too much of your life!! (And your money)

biffy wrote:

Sorry to be brutal - but for heavens sake get real.
the guy didn't divorce his wife at all - he just went ahead and married you with (and she knew)
how difficult do you think it is to get these so called documents over here - not very.
she probably knows about you - very common - but accepts it as he keeps her and her4 children in a good way.
he comes home every so often to see his kids and do his husbandly duties.  His whole family know the scenario
it is you who have been left in the dark I am afraid to say.

I have known many who have ended up in this same situation.
look after yourself, your property, your money and get rid of him before you waste too much of your life!! (And your money)


totally agree

I am a American woman, married in Egypt year 2011 .. I lived in Egypt for about a year and half with my husband.. Came back to USA due of my son's grandmother was very sick, We lost her  about two and half months after we return back to the States, also a promise  and I agree on for my son to grad high school , that has autism also my mother was very ill and I care for her .
My Question is after coming back to USA. My husband was divorced from both ex's in the same month of June  of 2010. I met my husband on chatting site in Oct of 2010. When first talking with him on internet ,first think I ask of him are you married. He gotten up and show me his divorce papers that he was divorced . Well he ask my hand in marriage and I accept fallen deep in love with him. After we married and so after he gone to his interview in April 2013. This was the time he came to me telling me that he had child by the ex #2 .He had gone to replace the original birth certs of the sons of the first Ex#1 wife .. Due we use the son's birth certs to send to our Attorney. So he went to replace them for the family.  He found this out when he went to the civil reg and this time he was told of this child in Jan 2013. After the interview in April he came to me telling me of this child he had and that his Ex#2  was two months  pregnant with child  and didn't tell my husband until he went to replace his son's from Ex #1 at Civil regerty  child was 2 and half years old.and here they had divorced with him not knowing of this child until he gone to the Civil reg Jan 2013 was when he found this out of  this child.. In April 2013 was when he told me of this child after his interview. I ask him why u wait to tell me of this child after his interview ,. He reply to me because I not feel this was the right thing to say to you over the computer  and he wait me come to tell me this when I return back to Egypt. Well I need know how myself if he has remarried her secretly . How can I find  out this information?
I would appreciate your help and advise on this.
Thank you Kaw

Omg
run run run
why do you really want to know.
get out of this asapp.
he has already had 2 wives, now  you.
hoe do know he isn't hiding more.
I think it would be difficult for an Egyptian to get to the bottom of this.
By law he and his wife have to wait a period of time to finalise the divorce. This waiting time is to make sure that she isn't pregnant - I think it is 3 months.  So if he says she hide it from him and he didn't know he us a liar pure and simple

turn and run like hell and leave him well behind.

We were married under Civil Law in Egypt .This what the immigration is saying  is that he is involved with his ex wife in a shame divorce. 1- His Ex # 2 was 2 months pregnant my husband says he wasn't aware of this when they gone for divorce. They divorce and then he went his way and she her way. With him never knowing of this as he told me this. 2- In Jan 2013 when he gone to replace birth certs of his son's of ex#1 this when he told me he found out of this baby,. She was born Dec 2010. My husband and I was married April 2011...I have the  his paper of divorce paper in hand were the tohad divorce in June of 2010 .(Remember ) he wasn't aware of this baby ...en he found out of this  .. At this time he told me he went to her older brother asking to see his Ex #2 to ask her why shedid this to him. Her the ex#2 reply was to my husband because I wanted to revenage you, I hate you and I don't want nothing to do with you. I ask my husband isn't there a law there in Egypt that she had to put this into news paper letting others know she was divorce from him and that she was pregnant and the father's name. He reply back to me yes this be a law here in Egypt. I ask him then did she do this. He reply to me there are ways she can get around that.
???? I asking is if she was pregnant and not telling  the future ex of this after 2 and half years of this child age what steps are taken. the other ? is I need to understand is when they divorce she has 90 days waiting period .. sence she was pregnant does the divorce is held off until the child is born ? And then what happens after child is born ? Is my marriage still legell in USA? ..We were married Civil marriage .. Even if we were married in Egypt ?Other ? Can he go back to her and not having to say nothing to me. Is this adultery in my case  by keeping this marriage from me.. Only way I known of this child was through my husband after his interview .. The immuatiion saying they having a shame divorce  meaning of plz explain this to me . And if so  can my marriage be null in the US? and also in Egypt through adultery. He give his ex #1 what is living in a flat he buy for his son's and she lives in tis flat with the two boys   that he pays all expances for her and the  boys. And as far I know  he helps with the ex's 2 for the baby. np I having he should take care of the children . I expect this from any man to do. He gotten his DL a few weeks ago and putting his ex#1 address on the DL and he tells me that reason he put the address of ex #1 on Dl because he buy this flat for his son's  I need advise PLZ   Thank you so much. KAW

he found out of this baby in Jan of 2013   and he told me after interview April 2013 this was when my husband told me of this baby .

@ Mr. Cairo, I'm sure Egyptian women are just as passionate starting out in a marriage. You are a typical example of why some women grow cold toward their Egyptian husbands. Look at the way you just belittled Egyptian women and objectified foreign women. Your statement disgusts me.

PS I will never accept your friend request.

look i'm just stating a truth
but of course there are exceptions
i guess u rush

Why oh why is the topic still being discussed?

You obviously think / know he is lying or else this discussion wouldn't be here

any lies / mistrust like yhis is death yo a happy heslthy relationship.

get rid of him dont waste your time uour life or your money you really will live to regret it.
he will take you down and leave uou with nothing.