Ask for money...

After 14 months of dating online, fell in love n we decided to get married. I'm travelling to meet him for the first time in Amman, this May. He introduced me to his family via Zoom. I was quite happy. We planned to get married in Jordan, then move back to my country, Singapore after 2 - 3 years. Sadly, he dropped me a bomb 1 month ago. Told me he is heavily in debt. Losing money in forex trading. Asked me for money to help him out. I'm confused now. At my age 53. I need stability. He is also 53. Never been married. His family confirmed that. He told me his finances hasn't been good for some years. He wanted me to know before we get married. He also told me he can't afford to support me in materials or monetary except for food 😒 He lives in his family home with his 4 sisters and a brother. All not married too.

I feel sorry for him but I dont feel secure looking into the future with him but at the same time I love him. I cant tell my family about this. I feel ashame. Anyone has comforting words for me here...

Welcome on board 🤗

Sorry that you have been through all this and I understand your concerns.

Unfortunately I am not much of a help.

Jordan is a poor country and lot of people struggling to survive to meet ends at the end of every month. Life is tough and expensive, specially important stuff and outdoor activities. Wages did not increased and the country was heavily effected by the very strict covid measurements. More people in debt due lost of income or work.

Many are still recovering from it.

On the other hand: it's for a Muslim man haram (meaning forbidden) to ask his wife to ask money. Jordan is a traditional country and although some things are improving slowly, some things is still considered as not done. Unless both agree on some matters.

To be honest: to me this raise some red flags and it looks like you be scammed if you are not careful.

A man who is a about to get married, needs to pay the dowry (from at least 5000 Jd and up), provide a furnitured house, the party, dress and all other costs that comes within.

And....he needs to provide you in your needs and household.

How's he going to do that if he has nothing?

There's no such thing as social security, the family needs to help members so it can be an extra financial burden.

With this information I hope I made some clearness to you so you can make the right decision.

@Primadonna, thank you for kind words and presence here. I really appreciate it.