Old men with young Vietnamese wives/girlfriends

I'm a 68 year old US man with a 35 year old Vietnamese Wife

And? How is that working for you?

Congratulations on your marriage and your son! Good luck to you all.

I'm 71 y.o. and married with 54 y.o VN wife and a 9 y.o. daughter. We lived 9m west of Nha Trang for 13 years. It's a great city, but getting very busy now. If you like busy, that's fine. If you don't like it, live out of town a bit. It's much cheaper and quieter, and you can still get to the beach anytime you like. You should visit and see if you like it.  From my house it's 15-20 minutes to the beach and 30 minutes to mountain streams. Perfect.

We are now in Australia for our daughter to learn English and get a good education. She loves it here and never wants to live in VN again. But I do.

Best wishes Tet and the new year.

My wife is 22 years younger than me and we get along fine. She is educated, placid and wants for nothing. She holds down a very good job, and has a nice family who are farmers,and also have never asked for a dime.I told her when I first met her that maybe a younger man would suit her better, she said she wasn't interested in young men and especially not a VN man.

I know a guy here who has married three bar girls, all three marriages have failed and they bled him dry each time, so beware of bar girls.

Very interesting response... your experience shows us all.. if you pick up bar girls, then know what to expect.. but there are still very good women in VN!

Of course, but bar girls are best kept away from as a potential partner.

Her 42, Me 55. Couldn't be happier. Been with each other a little over 18 months now.

QUOTE at #5
she said she wasn't interested in young men and especially not a VN man.
UNQUOTE

Over the last 30 years I have totally lost count of the number of pleasant Vietnamese women who have said exactly the same thing to me.  My wife was a single mother for 12 years after giving her VN husband the flick.

ralphnhatrang wrote:

QUOTE at #5
she said she wasn't interested in young men and especially not a VN man.
UNQUOTE

Over the last 30 years I have totally lost count of the number of pleasant Vietnamese women who have said exactly the same thing to me.  My wife was a single mother for 12 years after giving her VN husband the flick.

My girl has the same views on VN men. She was also a single mom for 10 or 11 years before meeting me.

I think the younger males now are much better, they seem to be more caring and not treat their wives as a substitute mother.

Seems most have younger wifes/girlfriends than themselves but not young in age like in their low 20's/late teens.

My wife and I are same age. We got married at 35 years old. Mature Vietnamese women are the best. They don't ask for a lot and don't want to receive anything. They just want a lifelong partner that will truely love them, respect them and knows how to take care of the family.

At the end of the day, if your wife/gf is compatiable with you and enjoy spending time together, that's all that matters. If you are looking for the little sexy,trophy wife/gf, then down the track you're going to find it really wasn't worth all the time and money you just wasted.

I am like you, I'm 68 and have a beautiful 32 year old wife. We have been married for 18 months now and everything is going great.

Wow, I thought the age gap between my GF and I was big. 11 years, she's a 21 year old smoking hot student. I was apprehensive about dating her because of the age gap but my rationale is that anyone who thinks it's wrong is their problem not mine.

Also, it's all relative. 11 years difference...If she was 18, and I was 29 that would be creepy. If she's 21 and I'm 32, would raise some eyebrows on the streets, Is she's 25 and marriage age and I'm 36, no one would bat an eye lid.

Zepo wrote:

ralphnhatrang wrote:

QUOTE at #5
she said she wasn't interested in young men and especially not a VN man.
UNQUOTE

Over the last 30 years I have totally lost count of the number of pleasant Vietnamese women who have said exactly the same thing to me.  My wife was a single mother for 12 years after giving her VN husband the flick.

My girl has the same views on VN men. She was also a single mom for 10 or 11 years before meeting me.

The general stereotype of a Vietnamese guy from what I've heard is that since kids live at home until they marry, they are still kids when they move out and don't do any house work or take care of themselves well. It's also very patriarchal where son's have precedence in the family with such things as inheritance and house work.

In rural Vietnam, there isn't much to do but for guys to stay out all night getting drunk or hanging with friends at coffee houses instead of at home taking care of the kids. If they are rich city folk, they also have more chance and opportunity to cheat in Vietnam.

Just stereotype, no offence to any Vietnamese. I did also hear attitudes amongst younger guys are changing too.

phikachu wrote:

Wow, I thought the age gap between my GF and I was big. 11 years, she's a 21 year old smoking hot student. I was apprehensive about dating her because of the age gap but my rationale is that anyone who thinks it's wrong is their problem not mine.

Also, it's all relative. 11 years difference...If she was 18, and I was 29 that would be creepy. If she's 21 and I'm 32, would raise some eyebrows on the streets, Is she's 25 and marriage age and I'm 36, no one would bat an eye lid.

I doubt anyone notices your 21/32 year age gap, unless you look old and hairy for your age. 
And it isn't a foreigner thing. I've noticed Viet and Thai couples with older guys.

gobot wrote:

phikachu wrote:

Wow, I thought the age gap between my GF and I was big. 11 years, she's a 21 year old smoking hot student. I was apprehensive about dating her because of the age gap but my rationale is that anyone who thinks it's wrong is their problem not mine.

Also, it's all relative. 11 years difference...If she was 18, and I was 29 that would be creepy. If she's 21 and I'm 32, would raise some eyebrows on the streets, Is she's 25 and marriage age and I'm 36, no one would bat an eye lid.

I doubt anyone notices your 21/32 year age gap, unless you look old and hairy for your age. 
And it isn't a foreigner thing. I've noticed Viet and Thai couples with older guys.

I'm not fugly but most people who would see us together would probably say I'm punching above my weight.

" I'm not fugly but most people who would see us together would probably say I'm punching above my weight."

We all wish to be so fortunate.   Or lucky..?     

My wife, who is Vietnamese, and I got married in 1971 by VN custom(paperwork 1973).  I was 27. She was 18. Now, I'm 72 and she is 63 and we are still married. She had just turned 17 when I met her in 1970.

Did she ever live with you in the US after the war?

phikachu wrote:

Did she ever live with you in the US after the war?

Yes, she has spent more than half of her life in America. We evacuated Saigon 19 April 1975 along with our then two daughters. In America in "Typically Vietnamese Wife Style" she started a few businesses and one day after she got the hang of running an American business, said to me.

"I'm sorry. I know that you enjoy your job. But your job is costing me too much money. You need to quit your job and work with me. We'll make a lot more money."

She was right. But, I did hold out for staying in the National Guard until I could retire. That retirement income is a big help, especially with 9 years of Active Duty.

Actually, she wrote a book, "For Two Cows I Ain't Half Bad" available from Amazon.com about my buying her for two Cows and what it was like growing up in the middle of the Viet Nam War. The Book has good ratings on Amazon.com and the "VFW Magazine" circulation 1,300,000 will have a review in their April issue.

Cool story,

Sound like my sisters, all 7 of them. They came to the UK, run successful businesses and their husbands are either part timers, stay at home dad's or work for their wives.

They're all bread winners.

Mostly, we discussed the various issues in great detail. Sadly, over the last 10 years her health started failing. About five years ago, she applied for and received SSA disability payments. I'd been in charge of financial planning and had set up a decent retirement income and made some decent investments.

Sadly, her health has continued to fail and death will part us fairly soon. A big reason for returning to Viet Nam was affordable house staff to help me care for her.

Note, before we were husband and wife we were "war buddies" and had served together during the War. In many ways the "war buddy" relationship is stronger than a marriage. We've literally dodged "incoming" together.

This story is incredible!.. like a great movie that is too interesting to be real life.. that is, until the reality of how it ends finally comes... you 2 have had a great and wonderful lives together my friend.  Most of us can only dream about the lives you and her have really lived... God Bless you both.. Eternally...

pathixon48 wrote:

This story is incredible!.. like a great movie that is too interesting to be real life.. that is, until the reality of how it ends finally comes... you 2 have had a great and wonderful lives together my friend.  Most of us can only dream about the lives you and her have really lived... God Bless you both.. Eternally...

Thank you for the kind words

I occupy a small part of the book and the book is definitely not about us. It is about her and what she lived through. It describes in detail what was actually going on in what some people refer to as "Indian Territory." For Bac, too much of the dream was pure nightmare. The book is a "hard read" for most people despite the simple and uncomplicated language.


http://www.psywarrior.com/VietnamOBPSYOP2

scrolling down shows the same picture that we used on the book cover and a short bio of Bac

Glad to hear so mainly great experiences with the age difference. I am 67 and my wife 37. I thought we entered into marriage with a good knowledge of what was expected. But it has just been money, money, money. I am still at a loss for when they have enough. We are now separated and I have met many young ladies in about the same age bracket. They all have basically they same fee schedule that will provide me with their love and caring for me for the remainder of my life. Seems the going rate is about $1,000 a month. And I was complaining because my wife wanted $300 a  month for her mom, soon increased by 66% ($500 a month) after about 9 years of marriage. And no, she was not a bar girl and I have never been in a bar. She has a BS degree here in VN.
  I do think the single moms probably make better wives than those who have never been married or had children. Myself I am going slow and really don't think I ever want to get involved with another Vietnamese gal. It was undoubtably the worst experience of my life.

First, I would never suggest that someone marry a Vietnamese woman or American woman, French Woman etc. The issue is really about who she actually is.

In the case of my now wife of over 45 years, I was able to observe her in an actual combat situation. She did OK and that is a big plus. I observed and studied to see how loyal she was and to who she was loyal. She was very loyal to her family and if I could also be loyal to her family, I could earn her loyalty. That worked and her family got on my side.

My wife was, given her history, understandably, very money hungry. I helped her start a few very small businesses and watched her learn how to actually earn money. Over all she has brought in around the same amount of money into the household as I have.

Great life story I just hope I can have anough time with my wife to have half the love and friendship you and your wife has had.

I guess I've found a pretty good woman she isn't at all about money in fact she shops very well looking for the best value. We live with her family and she makes sure that they all pay their fair share of the house hold expenses. Like I said before I'm 68 and she is 32 and she was a single mom with twin girls when I met her and the whole family took me in and made me apart of the family. My wife is currently going to college here in Saigon to become an english teacher so she can make a good living and be able to stay close to home to raise our girls. I tell people if they are lucky enough to find what I have found here their life would be wonderful too. I hope you will be able to find your happiness soon too.

@rlhull,
  I too have met such women since the wife left. Indeed they were single moms. Their families made me feel like a part of there family, and she keeps the money issues in check. Whereas, my wife mom told me the first time we ever met, that she cares nothing about me, and only cares about her daughter. Fair enough. But a rather off way to introduce oneself I think. And my wife has never had a friend since I have known her. In fact when someone asks her a question she refuses too answer them. I have never met anyone that likes my wife. She can never get along with any of the house staff, thinks everyone is dishonest. So it has been a joy to meet other women just to see if mine was an anomaly or what. Maybe there is still hope to find a good one. Problem is I had a child by the wife. And true to form she will not allow me to see the child. And it was the first child I have ever fathered and I loved the child so much. Tried to get her therapy. But they are not into that here. Just suck it up and cope is their strategy.
  Glad to hear all the great love stories.

Diazo:  I think we are all wondering how you managed to stick yourself with the meanest *** out there... none of these flags were evident before you picked her? 😩

Yes, to be quite honest they were there. And the professionals say run from these people as fast as you can. But always trying to help others, I thought I could help her. It is simply impossible these types of people have a script for everything they do and they hold to it and beat you down. Quite sad, because I think the girl has so many attributes. But hard to let go when you had your first child with her. And since we have separated I have seen other women that seem to be quite normal. They have friends, they talk on the phone to others, when others ask them question they will answer them. And yes, they all want money. But I am setting limits and boundaries on that. Not sure they have had their fearing aid turned up or off, but they just keep asking!!!

Diazo, your heart is in the right place. Please, don't change that.

But, helping others should be a cold blooded triage type decision. Helping those who are beyond help, means that someone who could benefit from your help won't get that help.

Still, the child is the issue. We have a somewhat similar situation with two of our nephews. Unlike your situation, the woman is not intentionally evil. But, she is stupid. We do provide a small amount of monetary help that allows us to see how the boys are doing. Her brother is a retired Sr COL and now rather expensive Lawyer and provides most of her income. The two boys are actually doing quite well.

70 years old wrote:

Mostly, we discussed the various issues in great detail. Sadly, over the last 10 years her health started failing. About five years ago, she applied for and received SSA disability payments. I'd been in charge of financial planning and had set up a decent retirement income and made some decent investments.

Sadly, her health has continued to fail and death will part us fairly soon. A big reason for returning to Viet Nam was affordable house staff to help me care for her.

Note, before we were husband and wife we were "war buddies" and had served together during the War. In many ways the "war buddy" relationship is stronger than a marriage. We've literally dodged "incoming" together.

What exactly did she do in the war if you don't mind me asking. Sounds like she was up to high level stuff that would have led to her being executed or worse, put in a reeducation camp had she not have left for the US.  I'm surprised they let her back in to the country.

Bac started out as a house Maid(more than enough to be put on the VC death list). Worked her way up to Medical Officer's assistant/translator and participated in MED=CAPs. Part of that was because Bac and I helped each other learn our respective languages.

As to why she was not executed, you need to understand the local politics. This is a simplified version and pretty much explains why the VC hunt for her was unsuccessful.

One of Bac's most gracious relatives to me after the war showed me boxes of those little VC award papers that she had earned and was one of those people that kept Bac alive while the "VC" were looking for her.

During the war an NVA group launched a recoilless attack on us, did damage and killed a few of us. The local VC had us informed that they were not responsible and that they would start keeping an eye out for those, in American Southern, "Damn Yankees." and give us a heads up if any more "Damn Yankees" showed up because they did not want "Damn Yankees" messing with "their hospital". In fact we did regular MED-CAP missions, brought more serious cases to our sick bay and if necessary had really serious patients air-lifted to Sai Gon

The NVA(Damn Yankees) returned for another try. We got the warning and our two choppers blew the NVA away before they even got close enough to the village to worry about collateral damage.

phikachu wrote:

What exactly did she do in the war if you don't mind me asking. Sounds like she was up to high level stuff that would have led to her being executed or worse, put in a reeducation camp had she not have left for the US.  I'm surprised they let her back in to the country.

Hardly high level.  Of course even privates in the ARVN went to camps, Officers stayed longer.  People who worked for the Americans went too but I don't think Mrs. Eaton would have gone for too long.   She was a survivor, and still is. 

I highly suggest the book to all expats including Viet Kieu who may have been too young to have experienced the war, particularly the war in the countryside.  It is not a story of politics.  It is a story of survival.  Despite the seriousness of the subject, it is also a fun read.  My wife's hometown is down river from the author's so I could recognize the flavor of the environment.  Even though much has changed, much remains the same.  You can read it on Kindle if you think bringing it into the country might be a problem, although there are much more controversial titles available these days.

https://www.amazon.com/Two-Cows-Aint-Ha … r+two+cows

THIGV,

Thank you. While Bac and I absolutely agree with you that the book is a fun read, you, Bac and I are rather warped. We've just seen too much.

THIGV,
Having read the Kindle version of the book, I agree that it is an interesting and informative read, with some laugh out very loud moments.