How much does a wedding cost in Vietnam?

Set a limit.
When u say u pay for it, they will go all out. Ask them  roughly how much it will be, then give it abit of room.

My fiance and I, on Dec 2013, budgeted for this:

$2500 - 24K gold jewellry
$1000 - dowry for parents
$4000 - wedding reception/dinner for 160 guests ($25 per person)
$1000 - photobook
$1000 - renting a car, house decorations, ao dai's for the bridesmaids and men, cake, roasted pig, desserts, etc

Total $9500

P.S. haha omg, you're from Edmonton too?

mikeymyke wrote:

My fiance and I, on Dec 2013, budgeted for this:

$2500 - 24K gold jewellry
$1000 - dowry for parents
$4000 - wedding reception/dinner for 160 guests ($25 per person)
$1000 - photobook
$1000 - renting a car, house decorations, ao dai's for the bridesmaids and men, cake, roasted pig, desserts, etc

Total $9500

P.S. haha omg, you're from Edmonton too?

$1000 dowry?? That's new! I will have to inquire about that one. Not marrying an East Indian girl you know.

NashCat wrote:

mikeymyke wrote:

My fiance and I, on Dec 2013, budgeted for this:

$2500 - 24K gold jewellry
$1000 - dowry for parents
$4000 - wedding reception/dinner for 160 guests ($25 per person)
$1000 - photobook
$1000 - renting a car, house decorations, ao dai's for the bridesmaids and men, cake, roasted pig, desserts, etc

Total $9500

P.S. haha omg, you're from Edmonton too?

$1000 dowry?? That's new! I will have to inquire about that one. Not marrying an East Indian girl you know.

Her dad's Chinese, and the dowry thing is more of a Chinese thing than Vietnamese. 

Actually I wouldn't say its a dowry, cuz that's an Indian term, and its for when a girl gives to groom's parents, its more like an "opposite" dowry

damn 2 Albertans. When you getting married Nash? Mines planned for February after Tet. $10k is steep.

I'm having mines outdoors by a stream. It cost $3 mil to rent the land but no tables and chairs. So I'm going to hire catering hopefully it will keep the cost down and it gives me more input into how I want the wedding to be like and the food I can have.

But than guests will give you money too so in theory you should break even unless you're a foreigner.

$2500 - 24K gold jewellry
$1000 - dowry for parents
$4000 - wedding reception/dinner for 160 guests ($25 per person)
$1000 - photobook
$1000 - renting a car, house decorations, ao dai's for the bridesmaids and men, cake, roasted pig, desserts, etc

This is way too much unless you of course have money to burn. If her family has money and are willing to help then ok but if they are "poor" then this is just a unnecessary extravaganza. Keep in mind that mostly men pay for weddings in Vietnam. Personally I think that Vietnamese way of having wedding is another not so great tradition that is there just to raise the face of the family(especially if groom is foreigner ) and earn some money.Been to so many weddings and they are all the same concept - it's a business really.Some last less than 3 hours:guests come,give money,they eat,take photos and off they go and the family counts the money they got.. Lots of couples (well,mostly man because he pays) get in debt to have a wedding that everyone is envious at. Way to burden a young couple in the beginning of their life. It's much better in west where families of newlyweds usually take care of everything.

Save the money on jewelry and simply rent it.It will be used only once anyway. Sure, you also keep a bought jewelry but they will most probably keep it so you personally will never see this money again. If the dowry is too high then you know that she has one of those parents, who like to extract the money from you (or it might be her,which is even worse since you are marrying this girl). I guess $1000 is not that much but if you can pay $0 then it is even better (dowry is seen as some kind of compensation for taking her daughter away but this is not really true since she will still take care for them,mostly financially, after she goes away anyway).

You can do a nice wedding for lot less but it depends on the person.

Also keep in mind another important thing: the wedding in Vietnam is really mostly a event to show everyone you are married AND a business event. All guests bring you money so you can get back anywhere from 50% and more. The idea is of course to know how much money (how "rich") your guests are so you plan the wedding costs accordingly. This is normal procesure when couple is Vietnamese but since you are foreigner they might not like this idea - after all what kind of message would they be sending when a daughter married a "poor" foreigner? (Remember the importance of face in Vietnamese culture!). If you are paying for wedding request that you (ok,you and your wife) get this back,otherwise her family will simply pocket it

NashCat,be absolutely sure to inquire about the dowry part. I have seen case when a girl was "in love" with a guy and they even talked about weddings but then came the shock of dowry and the guys refused and guess ,what  - not only was the wedding off, they broke up. If they set a dowry too high and your girlfriend,knowing your situation, still insist and sides with parents (this includes returning all the money earned with wedding back to you and her) ..well,then you will have a insight on what you are marrying

For the end let me just say that if she and her family are a good and reasonable Vietnamese they will have no problems saving your money and doing what is best for you and her.

I was never told of any dowry for my upcoming wedding. Is this something that is supposed to be brought up when you ask their parents permission to marry their daughter? Or they just sneak it in during wedding preparation?

Yeah Vietnamese weddings are kind of odd. They have it Sunday morning and ends around 3pm ish. No one really gets wasted or makes a fool of themselves.

khanh44, you don't need to ask parents, just ask your girlfriend and she will ask them. Tell her clearly that you are not aware of any dowry. They might wait until the last minute if they want to sneak it in (because what are you gonna do then anyway?) or maybe they are simply good people and don't need it,they are sympathetic to young couple.

Just be sure that you have the dowry situation cleared up before you go on wedding otherwise you can get a surprise in form of $1000 to even $5000 and more.

Yeah, the term 'dowry' is abused by many especially Indians. In India for ages bridegroom's family give to their daughter for her better future. Unfortunately 'it's a trouble maker in most families! Section 2 of Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 clearly defines: “Dowry” means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly— (a) by one party to a marriage to the other party to the marriage; or (b) by the parents of either party to a marriage or by any other person, to either party to the marriage or to any other person, at or before 1[or any time after the marriage] 2[in connection with the marriage of the said parties, but does not include] dower or mahr in the case of persons to whom the Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) applies.
Someone said: "Money is the opium which intoxicates human"!

Just spoke to my fiance. Don't know if this is the dowry everyone is mentioning but she said as part of custom I'm to put money in 1 of the 6 gifts. I think gifts is those dinnerware covered in red cloth that they carry to the bride.

The amount is totally up to me. They will open up each gift and some dude will announce what's in each one of them. When he announces the money the father of the daughter will say keep the money for your future family.

My fiance said most family on daughter side would give that money back to the groom but some family keep it too. She said her family won't keep it and I persistently asked her how much I should put in. She said it's up to me and made no mention of how much and no mention of any other money that I have to pay the bride's family.

So I think I'm in the clear.

Though just realized my budget for transportation will hit at least 5k. 2 plane tickets for my mom and dad and renting a bus for my relatives from Can Tho to Bien Hoa.

Factor in honeymoon I think this wedding will have the potential go over $10k.

I got married in Diamond Bay resort Nha Trang in August of last August. Total cost for the wedding dinner at the resort was around 110 million vnd (aprrox 5k+ USD). Ours was a smallish wedding with just 10 tables. My wife owns a wedding boutique so we saved alot of money on photography, dress rentals etc.

Shop around for the best rates as many hotels in Nha Trang will outbid each other for your business. Do you want the contact number for the manager at Diamond bay resort?

Tito12 wrote:

$2500 - 24K gold jewellry
$1000 - dowry for parents
$4000 - wedding reception/dinner for 160 guests ($25 per person)
$1000 - photobook
$1000 - renting a car, house decorations, ao dai's for the bridesmaids and men, cake, roasted pig, desserts, etc

This is way too much unless you of course have money to burn. If her family has money and are willing to help then ok but if they are "poor" then this is just a unnecessary extravaganza. Keep in mind that mostly men pay for weddings in Vietnam. Personally I think that Vietnamese way of having wedding is another not so great tradition that is there just to raise the face of the family(especially if groom is foreigner ) and earn some money.Been to so many weddings and they are all the same concept - it's a business really.Some last less than 3 hours:guests come,give money,they eat,take photos and off they go and the family counts the money they got.. Lots of couples (well,mostly man because he pays) get in debt to have a wedding that everyone is envious at. Way to burden a young couple in the beginning of their life. It's much better in west where families of newlyweds usually take care of everything.

Save the money on jewelry and simply rent it.It will be used only once anyway. Sure, you also keep a bought jewelry but they will most probably keep it so you personally will never see this money again. If the dowry is too high then you know that she has one of those parents, who like to extract the money from you (or it might be her,which is even worse since you are marrying this girl). I guess $1000 is not that much but if you can pay $0 then it is even better (dowry is seen as some kind of compensation for taking her daughter away but this is not really true since she will still take care for them,mostly financially, after she goes away anyway).

You can do a nice wedding for lot less.

The biggest expense is the wedding reception, we will have 16 tables, I wanted to pick a high end restaurant, but she wanted a normal one to help save me money.  Don't worry, she's not the type to make me spend so much, and her family is not that type either.  Everything she booked, ordered, spent, she always asked me about it, and tried to get it cheaper, she's even going to borrow her friend's wedding dress

Also, we wanted to do a photobook, which is optional for most people, because we wanted something to remember our wedding by.

The jewellry we decided not to rent because by buying it, at least we can keep it for ourselves.  Having some gold around the house, I mean, it only goes up in value right? 

As for the $1000 "dowry", that was just an amount I thought of myself, it seems reasonable.  Her parents earn a very good living, but I don't mind to do that. 

Besides, most of those costs will be offset by the guests' lucky money, and also my Canadian family will be coming to the wedding and they promised to not skimp on the lucky money for us

And lastly, I do have a relatively good paying job, my fiance does not (compared to a Canadian), so I absolutely don't mind footing the bill for the wedding.  At least $9000K is way better than $30K average in Canada

And honestly, before I got married, I always thought the cost would be around $2000-$3000K, because I would never imagine an average Vietnamese couple should have to save 3-4 years salary on a wedding, but it seems most couples have to borrow from their parents.

well,you seem to be the one pushing all the expensive arrangements so I guess that is settled then.By going large you are showing them you are loaded though so don't be surprised if they will expect the same standard and treatment in the future.  Yes,gold is not bad investment but only if you and wife keep it after the wedding. Have a nice wedding.

Mikeymyke,

That is a reasonable wedding plan you got there.  Elderly Vietnamese have no safety net, aside from their children, to fall upon.  What you give them goes into their cares, when old age creeps in.  If they don't use need it, it will eventually be turned over to you and your wife, anyhow. 

Futthermore, I remember witnessing a well-to-do Vietnamese couple taking notes of the amount that each person had given them on their wedding day.  When I inquirred about the purpose, they told me that they had to keep track because they could not afford to not return such "favors."  I thought that was pretty neat.

Best,
Howie

Wild_1 wrote:

Mikeymyke,

That is a reasonable wedding plan you got there.  Elderly Vietnamese have no safety net, aside from their children, to fall upon.  What you give them goes into their cares, when old age creeps in.  If they don't use need it, it will eventually be turned over to you and your wife, anyhow. 

Best,
Howie

Howie,what you say is partially true but you are forgetting one thing (let me in this case concentrate on the western male/Vietnamese female couple): The daughter will in no way stop caring for parents after she gets married. She might not live with them but the money influx will be much larger than when she was single.You know what they say: you don't marry the girl in SE Asia, you marry her family too. Just remember that girl asking about love with old guy: she wants to do it so she can start sending some money back to her parents. Dowry is just like a cherry on top In fact wife sending and spending husbands money by sending it home is one of the most common reasons why such mixed couples fight. The more daughters they have, the better they will be taken care of after their weddings. Ironically, the so treasured sons are usually the ones who are worthless when it comes to taking care of parents in the old age.

If they don't use need it, it will eventually be turned over to you and your wife, anyhow.

There are some cases like this but it usually isn't. Like ancientpahtos said in another thread: there is the endless line of random relatives that need money for some reason and it usually ends there.Next time it will be them needing money and it will be some relative "borrowing" it. It's the Vietnamese way of helping each other. 

It is not that uncommon for couples to remember who paid how much because you get invited to so many weddings in Vietnam that eventually you pay back everything.I remember once being surprised on how much a couple got at their wedding but the bride told me,half jokingly, that they better put this money aside because it will have to be returned soon when they get invited by the same people now giving the money

The more educated they become the less the need for traditions.

Remember the actual cost is not money!  It is your spirit, future dreams, freedom and having to be responsible for more than yourself. Always being pulled by what you think is the right thing for your family and what is right for you. Marriage requires a level of dedication to values that are no longer just your values. Would I ever consider becoming legally married again? #$@£ No!  I have .... Crap I am ranting...

When my wife and I got married we had a mix of western and Vietnamese culture. I'm not sure of the exact cost of everything but I'm sure it was less than $5,000. All the gold we used was provided by different family members and returned a few days later. The studio we contracted to do the wedding photos also provided all the dresses for the wedding and the cars. The actual ceremony took place at my mother in laws house in the morning and the reception party was at a nice local hotel in the evening.  The hotel provided all the entertainment, food and drink and everything. They also provided several rooms for close family to stay the night. We had to pay about 50% in advance and the remaining was paid out of the well wishing money from the guest. With about 300 guest I think we actually made a profit...lol
To answer the original question, I don't think there is an "average" price but I know that if you shop around and try to get as many services bundled together as you can you can save a lot of money. Most of the bigger hotels have event planners on staff and can help a lot with menu planning and entertainment. Wedding studios do a lot more than just take photos, they can arrange all the dresses and makeup as well as the wedding cars. If they can't do something they will know someone who can.

Just be sure that you have the dowry situation cleared up before you go on wedding otherwise you can get a surprise in form of $1000 to even $5000 and more.

khanh44 wrote:

Just spoke to my fiance. Don't know if this is the dowry everyone is mentioning but she said as part of custom I'm to put money in 1 of the 6 gifts. I think gifts is those dinnerware covered in red cloth that they carry to the bride.

The amount is totally up to me. They will open up each gift and some dude will announce what's in each one of them. When he announces the money the father of the daughter will say keep the money for your future family.

My fiance said most family on daughter side would give that money back to the groom but some family keep it too. She said her family won't keep it and I persistently asked her how much I should put in. She said it's up to me and made no mention of how much and no mention of any other money that I have to pay the bride's family.

So I think I'm in the clear.

Though just realized my budget for transportation will hit at least 5k. 2 plane tickets for my mom and dad and renting a bus for my relatives from Can Tho to Bien Hoa.

Factor in honeymoon I think this wedding will have the potential go over $10k.

I'm really curious how this worked out.  Any update?
That you are asking these questions here and not getting this information from your finance makes me wonder about the communication.  The wedding is the easiest part of being married.

Wxx3 wrote:

khanh44 wrote:

Just spoke to my fiance. Don't know if this is the dowry everyone is mentioning but she said as part of custom I'm to put money in 1 of the 6 gifts. I think gifts is those dinnerware covered in red cloth that they carry to the bride.

The amount is totally up to me. They will open up each gift and some dude will announce what's in each one of them. When he announces the money the father of the daughter will say keep the money for your future family.

My fiance said most family on daughter side would give that money back to the groom but some family keep it too. She said her family won't keep it and I persistently asked her how much I should put in. She said it's up to me and made no mention of how much and no mention of any other money that I have to pay the bride's family.

So I think I'm in the clear.

Though just realized my budget for transportation will hit at least 5k. 2 plane tickets for my mom and dad and renting a bus for my relatives from Can Tho to Bien Hoa.

Factor in honeymoon I think this wedding will have the potential go over $10k.

I'm really curious how this worked out.  Any update?
That you are asking these questions here and not getting this information from your finance makes me wonder about the communication.  The wedding is the easiest part of being married.

You should check the date next to the posters name, this thread is nearly 3 years old.

I'll be paying close attention to this thread as my fiance and I are planning our wedding next February.

Exactly.
IMHO
Forums like this are only effective when there is feedback.

One issue that should be planned for if you're American is it takes considerable time to get a visa for her.

Therefore if you're getting married next year,  I'd apply for a Finance Visa now.

I don't think the process is any quicker if you are already married.

When we have had our wedding.... I'll be in a position to give advice on weddings in Vietnam particularly HCMC.

I'm not sure if your talking about me but I'm Australian and I know it will take between 1 to 2 years for my fiance to get a spouse visa. With us being married and have our marriage registered with Vietnamese government.... I can get a long term visa for staying in Vietnam easier.

That sounds worse than USA.
Didn't think that was possible.

Somebody brought it up in this thread or a newer one.

Good luck and best wishes

2 years is the absolute longest.... Generally 9 to 12 months.... Yeah someone posted in this thread and I got a notification.

Ambush wrote:

When we have had our wedding.... I'll be in a position to give advice on weddings in Vietnam particularly HCMC.

Interested in seeing that post when it happens.

I must be very lucky because my fiance's parents are footing the bill for the wedding and there is no dowry either, but my fiance is from a comfortable family and they are all very educated....we will offer the lucky money to her parents however my fiance doesn't think they will accept it.

I know this is an old thread but some recent action.  My fiance told me about the gold but she said her family will be covering the party.  Not sure how this will be possible as we are sending money to them every month as they are poor farmers.  Is this something that they would be saving for or will they just borrow it and repay it from the money we send every month?  Her parents are 66 and 72 fwiw.

SteinNebraska wrote:

I know this is an old thread but some recent action.  My fiance told me about the gold but she said her family will be covering the party.  Not sure how this will be possible as we are sending money to them every month as they are poor farmers.  Is this something that they would be saving for or will they just borrow it and repay it from the money we send every month?  Her parents are 66 and 72 fwiw.

Usually the money received from the guests will cover the cost of the reception.

colinoscapee wrote:

Usually the money received from the guests will cover the cost of the reception.

I asked her about it last night.  Yes, she said the money from "friends and neighborhood" go to parents to cover reception.  Money and gold from either family goes to bride and groom.

Be creative. I chose a buffet, not Chinese tables.

why not do a 2-tier catering, the expeensive stuff for the inner circle, fried chicken or something with beer for the others.

Had a small party and pizza turned out to be very expensive versus other options. Know what I mean?

15 large spring rolls (weighing maybe 700 grams) for 75 k, 10 k for the delivery. Even at Buy 1, get 1 free, 6 pizzas came to about 800 k. (And 1 person was absent, so they had to get cold before we could start). THINK!

A wedding for 2 or 3 days versus a wonderful honeymoon or serious cash to furnish the shared house? Get the priorities straight!

Someone that discovers they have been seated at a 2nd-tier table is likely to be seriously miffed. The dinner is not regarded as a profit center, at least not here in America. The dinners here are typically $50 a seat, and that's roughly the price of the food and the service. Relatives and close friends are expected to pay twice that.
I really wouldn't even consider slighting someone. Your guests are people you will interact with for years to come.

In general I am against wasting money.
But to be stingy at a Vietnamese wedding is certainly wrong.

Because for the bride and especially for the parents of the bride a wedding is enormously important for the reputation of the family.
The appearance (be all tinsel and glitter) is far more important here in Vietnam than in the West. All the effort just to make sure the guests afterwards only gossip positive about the wedding.

So I bought her a lot of gold jewellery only for the wedding ceremony (we will sell all again if the gold rate is better).

There was a small wedding celebration with 100 guests at home with the family and a big wedding celebration with 300 guests in a restaurant.
- The celebration in the restaurant was just a big show.
- Everything just to impress the guests.
- Most people only came for food.
- After 2 hours the whole show was over.

Everything together, including a 2 day wedding photo shoot and the elaborate marriage paperwork (including the lawyer), cost a little more than 200 million dong (exclude the jewellery).

My wife is usually very modest and she knows that I hate occasions with a lot of people. But she asked me to overcome me only once in my life and give her a wonderful wedding. I did her this one important favor.