LETS HAVE A LAUGH BUT NO FILTH

Here's a link to some website called Bored Panda.

Coronavirus Jokes Are Everywhere And Here Are 30 Of The Best Ones This Week


Here's a sample:

I made the mistake of telling my husband that an early symptom of covid is loss of smell.

He's taken to passing gas in my vicinity and then when I react, informing me that he is 'performing a health check'.

He taught the children this technique.

I may divorce him.

VietCanada :

The priest, suspecting fowl play

I assume the pun was intended?

Ciambella :
VietCanada :

The priest, suspecting fowl play

I assume the pun was intended?

I should point out that I didn't create this joke. My sister put it up on Facebook this morning. It was so funny I had to share.

It also inspired me to search for Covid humour.

But thanks for the compliment Ciambella! :cool:

Just something i found on YouTube.
What stage are you in?  :/

The 4 Stages of Coronavirus

Here are a couple of very funny videos from someone called the juice media. They appear to be a YouTube channel based in Australia. They produce Honest Ads.

These are about the virus obviously.  No-one is spared by these guys. Language warning.

Honest Government Ad | Coronavirus: Flatten The Curve

Honest Government Ad | The Machine

The last 30 seconds or so are just these guys blowing their own horns. (honestly!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPftwVdqh4c

From the Beaverton.

Here's the link but I posted the whole thing.

Man discerns passage of time with ripeness of bananas

LIVING ROOM – As Canada enters its third month of mandatory self isolation, local man, Max Easton, has abandoned all traditional concepts of time and has decided to discern his days using the ripeness of bananas.

“When self-isolation first began, I tried to keep a routine,” said Max, who hasn’t left the house since early March. “But soon the days began to meld together and I found myself asking Alexa ‘what day is it?’ instead of making her say crude things like I used to do…”

Easton explained that, according to him, Monday to Sunday no longer exist. Instead, the seven days of the week have been replaced with stages of banana ripeness: Green, Greenish, Almost Ripe, Ripe, Very Ripe, Gross, and Dumbledore’s Hand. At Dumbledore’s Hand, Easton takes his weekly shower.

“Once the bananas become inedible, I store them in the freezer with the others. I swear I’ll use them to make banana bread…one day…”

Easton also went on to explain how his twenty-four hour clock is now represented by his cyclical processing of the twelve stages of grief. “Normally, there are only seven stages but I discovered more. So, if you tell me ‘Drag Race is on Fridays at 8PM’ that means nothing to me. Instead, if you say “Drag Race is on very ripe day at ‘fuck this, I’m going blonde’ then I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

“At first, I thought he was just being quirky,” said boyfriend Jamie Sanchez, over Zoom. “We normally schedule daily video calls but then he started setting the date as ‘two ripe avocados from now’ and the time as ‘when the shadow from the table hits the wall.’ ’”

As self-isolation measures are anticipated to continue well into the fall and winter months, Max Easton has already adapted his time telling system to accommodate daylight savings.

“‘When the condensation droplet runs down from my glass’, it’ll be time to spring forward and then we’ll fall back ‘once the light finally leaves my eyes.’ ”

This is from NewsThump.

Satirical article more clever than funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn8MxJx_erk

goodolboy :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn8MxJx_erk

So very funny, but true

Decisions Decisions

https://i.postimg.cc/yDxTRLrw/fire.png

goodolboy :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn8MxJx_erk

:lol:


For a second, I thought clip was from this year's Cheltenham Festival.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTYxDMYKyiI

This from the Huffington Post Canada edition.

Justin Trudeau’s Hair Is How We Know Time Still Exists During The Pandemic

"The days might blur together, but we can mark their passing from the length of the PM's hair."

"But as our conceptions of work-screen time and fun-screen time, and lying in bed to sleep and lying in bed to contemplate existence start to blur together, Canadians have at least one way to mark each passing day.

Our prime minister’s hair."

Read the article if you want but i recommend going straight to the video:

Justin Trudeau Hair Toss

lock down over (for now anyways) heading out for a run

https://i.postimg.cc/MMsJHSdS/fatty.png

New topic