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How to make friends in the USA

Last activity 15 October 2023 by nschneider2015

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expat.com

We have been talking about loneliness when you are abroad, let's now talk about how to make friends (locals and other expats) when you're living in the USA :top:

Which are your best tips to meet people and to make friends in the USA??

Thanks in advance for your participation

french vanilla

There are many ways to make friends. In the US like everywhere else, the primary rule is not to force your nature (don't try to make friends at bars if you don't like to drink!). Beside that, here are a few tips that might help:

- Being a sport fan and learning about your city's favorite football, baseball, basketball or hockey team is a great plus.

- Being a football fan triples your chances of making American friends, whatever the city.

- Smile even if you're not happy.

- Never start talking politics. Especially if you're European, never start a conversation with "I'm so glad you elected Obama".

- Avoid talking about Irak too. For your first meeting, stick to sport and beer.

- If you live somewhere in between NYC and SF and don't like beer, you're in a bad shape to make numerous friends.

- Cars (boys) and diet (girls) may be an alternative to sport and beer in case you have really nothing the say about that.

- Never lie or pretend. You'll be surprised that most Americans actually believe what you say until proven false. This will be your main asset to start making friends.

- However, you may lie - or avoid a straight answer - when asked about your political orientation. Especially if you're European, you must know that the equivalent for "socialism" in the US is "communist activism", which is close to "terrorism". Use the term "liberal" to express progressive social views.

- If you live somewhere in between the two coasts and are liberal, you're in a bad shape to make numerous friends.

- Don't pretend to be Canadian to try appearing closer to Americans, unless you're French.

- If you really are Canadian or French and don't live on one of the two coasts, you're in a bad shape to make numerous friends.

- Beside football events and bars, BBQs are the best and most popular occasion to start making friends. Try to organize one as soon as you can after moving here, and invite your neighborhood. Your neighborhood will become your "community" and main label of origin. Don't mess this.

- If you have kids, forget all the above: they'll make friends for you.

- If you have children and don't want to make friends, you're in a bad shape. Unless you live in NYC or SF of course...


Enjoy your new American friends!

Doris

I've made friends at my local Toastmasters and WeightWatchers meetings, as well as during networking sessions with groups from the international chambers of commerce.

Echo the "don't mention politics", add: unless you're prepared to discuss it at length. Religion and sexy topics may remain touchy even after you've known the people for a bit.

If I had more time and more flexible transportation available I might check out interesting groups on meetup.com or craigslist.

:-)

ProdigalTourist

No need to try so hard!  Americans are naturally friendly, and they LOVE Brits!  Just start talking to people--if you're shy and demure, they'll think you're a snob.  I'm living proof you can make friends even if you hate football (both kinds). I did almost get beaten up once for saying I was going to watch a cooking show rather than the Super Bowl...
I agree about politics--but that's just common courtesy. I wouldn't tell the French what I thought of their government either, not while i'm in their country at least.
Just like anywhere else, some people are twits and some aren't. What I've seen though is that here, everything is out in the open, so you find out really quickly if a friendship is worth pursuing. In the UK, it can take years to find out you've been hanging out with a berk.

hadrien.raffalli

I'm a french guy and I don't like beer :D

Good for me I'm in California.

My advice for the basic "New in Town" LA guy:

- Find the closest soccer field from your place... you will find a lot of latin american practicing soccer. Given to the relative difference in term of consideration regarding soccer between europeans and amercicans ... this remains one of your best chance especially if you are not that much of a social person and if you don't like beer.

Just ask and they will invite you to play.

- Americans tend to be warmer than european and you will be surprised that people are quiet often talking to you without any reason other than curiosity.

Xpat

Try volunteer work.
Be it professional pro-bono work or traditional roll up your sleeves and get down and dirty volunteer work.
It helps to connect you with your new community and the people in it.

I started doing volunteer work while I was waiting for my work permit. I met lots of people and landed my first job in the USA from the contacts that I made there.

Tino Biabe

singing is my hobbies, making friends too, am super honest and i love to make jokes with those that make them too, i really like football and i play it too.

Tino Biabe

[Moderated: The forum is not a dating website.]

Annemalar

Hi there,any Malaysians or Singaporeans living in Honolulu?Would like to get to know them:)

Elove lizz

hello everyone just want to make friends from other country cause i'm boring alone at home

usmc_mv

Hi and welcome, I am positive you will make friends here on the expat-blog.



http://yoursmiles.org/ksmile/flag6/brazil-flag-waving-smile.gif


Matt V. - Manaus, Amazonas, Brasil
Visit my Personal Blog - brazilbs.blogspot.com

HaileyinHongKong

Americans are the friendliest people in the world.  We've imported our friendliness to countless unwilling recipients.  If we really like you, we'll read your e-mail and listen to your phone calls.

gloria kagomo

like tavel ,making friends, reading novels . i would like have friends because am lonely without them

HaileyinHongKong

The first step is saying hello.

keleeebeleee

I'm an American and I've never thought about this but when I read some of these posts from a foreigner's perspective, a lot is SO true, especially the long list from French Vanilla.

Ale8

I completely agree... I've never stepped back and looked at my life from a foreign view. Lol. Well, it's nice to see it doesn't appear too bad.

Just to add... Yes, kids make friends for you.  If you are an expat wife, don't forget to put your children in all of the activities, such as dance or sports. These classes bring friends that may be sharing your same experiences.

Never be afraid to be the first one to talk...we do listen and generally enjoy the friendliness :).

HaileyinHongKong

Americans are the friendliest people with guns you'll ever meet.

nschneider2015

@expat.com


Join Meet Up groups. Groups are set up according to interests, like hiking, book clubs, etc. You can join for free and meet people that way.

SA Quadri

@nschneider2015 thank.u

Bhavna

@OptionIqmarkets16


Hello and welcome !


Please note that this member is no longer on the forum.


Regards

Bhavna

nschneider2015


@expat.com


Making friends in the US is probably  easier than a lot of places, especially  bigger cities or in places like Florida  where alot of people are from other places.


You don't  have to love sports or drink beer, unless you want friends who do.


I highly recommend  Meetup.  [link moderated]

There you can look for groups that do things that you like, like hiking, sports, cooking museums, movies, etc. Then you sign up for an event and go. It brings together people who don't  know eath other but have something in common.


Time. Sometimes  it just takes a little time.


In Philadelphia  there are game cafes where you play board games with others. Not sure where else they have that.


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