Marrying an expat

i think you should leave your country to can mary without parents permission..

qatrnada wrote:

i think you should leave your country to can mary without parents permission..

And how can she leave without family permission? BTW you are a Saudi, supposed to be know better than us. I don't know in detail , but one of my colleagues married a saudi woman, I heard that was long and hard procedure. We are in KSA, everything can happen.

oracletrek wrote:

qatrnada wrote:

i think you should leave your country to can mary without parents permission..

And how can she leave without family permission? BTW you are a Saudi, supposed to be know better than us. I don't know in detail , but one of my colleagues married a saudi woman, I heard that was long and hard procedure. We are in KSA, everything can happen.

True, I can never leave the country without family's permission.

So if I get my father's permission, it still will be hard!! Ah. I still won't give up though.

Sara24 wrote:

So if I get my father's permission, it still will be hard!! Ah. I still won't give up though.

Sounds too complicated.  Better give up now and don't get into the mess.  You will miss him for a few months and then you will be fine.  Trust me!

if she loves him how can she give up, it s too hard i think.. i have the same problem for that i will leave morocco to go work in other country just to can get married to the man i want.. here in morocco not the parents are difficult but the law of the country made mariage from foreign man like impossible.. please may i have informations about mariage between moroccan woman and british man muslim. is it dfficult? how many days it take ? thanks

Any Western man who would fool around with a Saudi girl is out of his freakin' mind! 

Fathers and brothers still believe in 'honor' killings.

Alliecat wrote:

Any Western man who would fool around with a Saudi girl is out of his freakin' mind! 

Fathers and brothers still believe in 'honor' killings.

Aint it better to have loved and lost, than never to have ......?

is this a joke ??? this is where foreign people meet . they would know nothing ,, you should ask your Saudis friends .. if you really saying the truth .. doubt it tho ..

good luck

I know of many expat men married to Saudi women and are still breathing

Alliecat wrote:

Any Western man who would fool around with a Saudi girl is out of his freakin' mind! 

Fathers and brothers still believe in 'honor' killings.

lol!! We've been together for 2 years!! We're fine!! This is silly, they would never kill us!! Grow up.

"Grow up" ?? 

It is YOU who needs to grow up if you don't know this occurs in your country. 

In addition, if your family is so enlightened that you consider me 'silly' for mentioning this,  why doesn't your father just give you permission to leave the country?

Laws here are complicated. I know that for marrying a Saudi lady, the family still has to give permission. The father has to. Else you will have to leave the country, go to your guys country in Europe, and then get married there.
But seriously, Take the majority advice, Dont go for it, not for the "honor" part, but because dont tear up one family to make another. Convince your folks, and do things legally.

Tc,

^^^^

Thank you, I will try and do that

There is something called ''free will''. In this case, since we're in saudi, she has the free will to try to be free. Which I have to say dear, you are free to love, but unfortunately you are not free to marry whoever you want, especially if your a muslim and he's not. Without having to get into religous details, the fact is, either u get ur father's permission or not, it is VERY hard. Especially when u are Saudi; isn't the major problem of all this is that you would lose your Saudi nationality?

Best thing is to try leaving the country.

Hi Sara,
if he convert to Islam "in papers" you can get married in Bahrain

good luck
Nadia

sara,
no one will kill u its all about YOUR MIND,  if u are muslim you have to follow the rules (u cant marry non muslim man and u know why) and if u dont like the rules of islam just re asses your satuation and  follow the rules of what u r belive in.

Never say {my religon is ----- but i dont want to follow it, please help me} , no one will help u becouse u cant help your self

Honor killings are not the order of the day in KSA in my view. Yes, they are prevalent in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India, even in this age and time.

I think the Middle East has managed to overcome this phenomenon in a very successful manner through time, thanks to the oil, development, education and progress.

No doubt there are many areas where the people of this region need to improve on their attitude, thinking and reactions. However, I believe that they are not hooked on to honor killings, especially in the areas of marriage.

musicman
do u think that each mature individual should be clear with him self and determine his belives and follow his religon?

In India, recently Honor killings happened even the bride and bride groom were of the same religion and have every right to marry legally, but Family believed that it's against their honor. So we can't generalize everything, most of the times it's case by case and could be because family thinks the guy was very poor and they can't survive or the family felt the girl cannot mingle with the family, so most of the times, it's the Pride and Prejudice that have an impact on honor killings, not the religion alone.

Macdin wrote:

Sara24 wrote:

So if I get my father's permission, it still will be hard!! Ah. I still won't give up though.

Sounds too complicated.  Better give up now and don't get into the mess.  You will miss him for a few months and then you will be fine.  Trust me!

absolutly right,  Macdin

r-m wrote:

musicman
do u think that each mature individual should be clear with him self and determine his belives and follow his religon?

yes, i do, r-m.
i sure do believe that religion is PERSONAL and must be something between the individual and his/her beliefs based on common sense and reality, not myths and old wives tales.

uvnpsaradhi wrote:

In India, recently Honor killings happened even the bride and bride groom were of the same religion and have every right to marry legally, but Family believed that it's against their honor. So we can't generalize everything, most of the times it's case by case and could be because family thinks the guy was very poor and they can't survive or the family felt the girl cannot mingle with the family, so most of the times, it's the Pride and Prejudice that have an impact on honor killings, not the religion alone.

you are talking about tradition in India, but she is in Riyadh and her family will refuse to let her get married becouse of relogon rules, forexample : muslim man can marry any non muslim gilr who belive in God, while muslim woman can only marry muslim man and there are many resons behind this issue.u can read about it if u wish.

http://www.jannah.org/sisters/intermarriage.htmlhttp://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Sate … 9503543656

r-m wrote:

uvnpsaradhi wrote:

In India, recently Honor killings happened even the bride and bride groom were of the same religion and have every right to marry legally, but Family believed that it's against their honor. So we can't generalize everything, most of the times it's case by case and could be because family thinks the guy was very poor and they can't survive or the family felt the girl cannot mingle with the family, so most of the times, it's the Pride and Prejudice that have an impact on honor killings, not the religion alone.

you are talking about tradition in India, but she is in Riyadh and her family will refuse to let her get married becouse of relogon rules, forexample : muslim man can marry any non muslim gilr who belive in God, while muslim woman can only marry muslim man and there are many resons behind this issue.u can read about it if u wish.

I was answering to MM's post below , may be I should have qouted it, rather than posting a general comment.

musicman wrote:

Honor killings are not the order of the day in KSA in my view. Yes, they are prevalent in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India, even in this age and time.

I think the Middle East has managed to overcome this phenomenon in a very successful manner through time, thanks to the oil, development, education and progress.

No doubt there are many areas where the people of this region need to improve on their attitude, thinking and reactions. However, I believe that they are not hooked on to honor killings, especially in the areas of marriage.

yes r-m, in Riyadh she just will be prevented from marrying the guy only cos of the situation here. nobody will kill her. in other places anyone who is a major has every right to marry by choice. thats when the honor killing fireworks begins.

Umm.. arent "honor killings" like way off topic here??

Lets just try to help the poor lady here!!

musicman wrote:

yes r-m, in Riyadh she just will be prevented from marrying the guy only cos of the situation here. nobody will kill her. in other places anyone who is a major has every right to marry by choice. thats when the honor killing fireworks begins.

hi musicman
u said: cos of satuation here
so what do u mean by satuation? well it should be religon .am saudi woman and trust me its about the religon, u can see any muslim family around the world have the same concept.again i agree with Macdin {You will miss him for a few months and then you will be fine}

Situation, meaning the fact that one cannot be married to another here unless he or she fulfills all the legal requirements in keeping with the Shariah Law, unlike in other countries where marriage only requires the consent of the two people involved together with the witnesses, irrespective of what religion, sect, group or ethnicity they belong to.

RedGoblin wrote:

Umm.. arent "honor killings" like way off topic here??

Lets just try to help the poor lady here!!

It's not off topic. 

As for us 'helping' her, I think r-m nailed it when she said the girl needs to help herself.

And, btw, if you reread my original comment, it wasn't referring to her family killing her; rather it was referring to Westerners who mix with Saudi girls.

musicman wrote:

Situation, meaning the fact that one cannot be married to another here unless he or she fulfills all the legal requirements in keeping with the Shariah Law, unlike in other countries where marriage only requires the consent of the two people involved together with the witnesses, irrespective of what religion, sect, group or ethnicity they belong to.

thak u musicman, i always respect your opinion.
BTW, shariah law in marriage is so simple, it reqiure:

1- Both the groom and the bride must consent to the marriage, verbally and in writing, the groom must be muslim.

2-The bride has a right to receive a gift from the groom

3-Two adult witnesses are required to verify the marriage contract

4-Either the bride or the groom may submit contract conditions which, if agreed upon, become legally-binding conditions of marriage

5- announcement of the marriage

musicman wrote:

Honor killings are not the order of the day in KSA in my view. Yes, they are prevalent in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India, even in this age and time.

I think the Middle East has managed to overcome this phenomenon in a very successful manner through time, thanks to the oil, development, education and progress.

No doubt there are many areas where the people of this region need to improve on their attitude, thinking and reactions. However, I believe that they are not hooked on to honor killings, especially in the areas of marriage.

Actually honor killings still exist in Jordan, & to my surprise in Qatar although it's not talked in the latter & to my knowledge it's exclusive to when it comes to affairs out of a wedlock!!

r-m wrote:

musicman wrote:

yes r-m, in Riyadh she just will be prevented from marrying the guy only cos of the situation here. nobody will kill her. in other places anyone who is a major has every right to marry by choice. thats when the honor killing fireworks begins.

hi musicman
u said: cos of satuation here
so what do u mean by satuation? well it should be religon .am saudi woman and trust me its about the religon, u can see any muslim family around the world have the same concept.again i agree with Macdin {You will miss him for a few months and then you will be fine}

If he's a muslim that shouldn't be a problem! But unfortunately, it's all about culture, & being married from the same tribe or family!!

@ Sara 24: No offense! I dont know how old you are, but I think you should be smarter than that. In my humble opinion you're just going to waste your time, effort & in KSA esp your reputation is at stake. In Ksa it's nearly impossible for these things to go smoothly. I'm actually surprised that even if you know your traditions & laws too well, you are thinking of that. If he's a muslim you always have the option of trying to convince them,  although I don't see it happening unless your family is non traditional & open minded (This is if he's muslim, let alone if he's not, of course it's out of question). You also have to consider consequences, ultimately you might as well end up locked up in your room, pressured to marry someone else immediately or something of the sort!! So try to think wisely & what's possible & what's not.
And to make it easy on yourself think of it this way: "Not all we want in life, we get". Yes it's hard in the beginning, but give it time & you'll forget. I wont advise you to flee or leave the country even if you have the chance. Trust me even if you got married to the guy (& he's the BEST person on earth) one day you'll miss & want to be able to see your family. One day you'll have kids & they'll ask about their grandparents. Besides you can never be 100% sure if all of the sacrifices & the risks you are willing to take are REALLY worth it.

@Alison : Repect ma'am..
what you have said is right..

Probably the wrong place to ask such a question, you'll only get confusing answers.

How'd the expat know what Saudi tradition and law exist on marriage.

slyshooter wrote:

Probably the wrong place to ask such a question, you'll only get confusing answers.

How'd the expat know what Saudi tradition and law exist on marriage.

The search must be here for an advice from an expat who has gone thru this in the past.

uvnpsaradhi wrote:

slyshooter wrote:

Probably the wrong place to ask such a question, you'll only get confusing answers.

How'd the expat know what Saudi tradition and law exist on marriage.

The search must be here for an advice from an expat who has gone thru this in the past.

For an advice it's OK, but each case has own difficulties and opportunity. Only she can find best solution for her. My best quote for KSA "only thing certain in Saudi Arabia is uncertainty"

r-m wrote:

sara,
no one will kill u its all about YOUR MIND,  if u are muslim you have to follow the rules (u cant marry non muslim man and u know why) and if u dont like the rules of islam just re asses your satuation and  follow the rules of what u r belive in.

Never say {my religon is ----- but i dont want to follow it, please help me} , no one will help u becouse u cant help your self

Dear R-M,

I know my religion very well and my bf converted to Islam long ago. I wouldn't marry a non-muslim cuz i know my religion well.

uvnpsaradhi wrote:

slyshooter wrote:

Probably the wrong place to ask such a question, you'll only get confusing answers.

How'd the expat know what Saudi tradition and law exist on marriage.

The search must be here for an advice from an expat who has gone thru this in the past.

Thanks. Good to hear something nice from someone