Why is it difficult for foriegner to assimilate into VN culture

bluenz wrote:

Happy8888 wrote:

There is nothing privileged about being bought up with absolutely no common sense

Maybe it's just heredity? But I know of a ' farmer'  from here, ( thick as 2 bricks ), his son is in UNI studying to be a Doctor. his tiny mum doesn't look that intelligent either.

This is why I go to Thailand for any important health reasons.

Years ago, during the whole "bird flu" scare, I went to one of the international hospitals to get checked out. I wasn't feeling too good and thought I might have more than the usual food sickness. I ended up being quarantined for 10 hours then sent (via ambulance) to their version of the Center for Disease Control for more testing. You should have seen all the medical personnel going crazy, they were covered head to toe including face shields. They took blood, along with everything else you can imagine for testing, then told he they'd call me the next day with the results. I never heard a thing from them. I bought some antibiotics at the pharmacy and was better in a few days.

Adhome01 wrote:

bluenz wrote:

Happy8888 wrote:

There is nothing privileged about being bought up with absolutely no common sense

Maybe it's just heredity? But I know of a ' farmer'  from here, ( thick as 2 bricks ), his son is in UNI studying to be a Doctor. his tiny mum doesn't look that intelligent either.

This is why I go to Thailand for any important health reasons.

Years ago, during the whole "bird flu" scare, I went to one of the international hospitals to get checked out. I wasn't feeling too good and thought I might have more than the usual food sickness. I ended up being quarantined for 10 hours then sent (via ambulance) to their version of the Center for Disease Control for more testing. You should have seen all the medical personnel going crazy, they were covered head to toe including face shields. They took blood, along with everything else you can imagine for testing, then told he they'd call me the next day with the results. I never heard a thing from them. I bought some antibiotics at the pharmacy and was better in a few days.

Sounds like they were extremely disappointed, you could have made history, first Foreigner with Bird flu?????

I forgot to mention the $800 USD hospital bill.

bluenz wrote:

Sounds like they were extremely disappointed, you could have made history, first Foreigner with Bird flu?????

They were so excited. I actually would have been the first bird flu case in Viet Nam. This was around 6 years ago. Still makes me laugh when I think about it, until I remember the $800 it cost me.

Adhome01 wrote:

bluenz wrote:

Sounds like they were extremely disappointed, you could have made history, first Foreigner with Bird flu?????

They were so excited. Still makes me laugh when I think about it, until I remember the $800 it cost me.

Ouch, $800, they were probably laughing as well. Your blood is probably still sitting there, untested.

Ha ha ha, reminds me of when I caught a ambulance on langkawi island and it cost 0.60c when I had a broken collarbone and then they insisted I have an xray so they could tell me I had a broken collarbone. Complete nutcases but they did not have white plastic space gear on . Result? Aspirin

For anyone interested it was Columbia Asia Hospital.

bluenz wrote:

I think it funny when you go to another country and be expected to assimilate in all ways, when migrants from these countries, don't even try when they come to our countries.

Very true, in the US you would be labled a racist for even asking that they speak English.

Assimilation is certainly selective but at least we try, that is why it is hilarious trying to go back 500 years in my way of thinking

I have almost no foreigner friends because just about every one I meet is an alcoholic in denial and has their body here but their mind back in the good old home country. I have devised a simple 2 part test to see if a foreigner has assimilated; 1st test - must drive a motorcycle made in an Asian country. 2nd test - while driving said motorcycle must always exit an alley without first checking to make sure the way is clear.

I can do that , piece of cake . And I don't drink or think of my motherland because this is my beloved home

Happy8888 wrote:

I can do that , piece of cake . And I don't drink or think of my motherland because this is my beloved home

Another bloody comedian?

Most foriegners arrogance about their home being the best, especially the Frence. They live here so they can feel superior to others. There are other westerners that are like that. They sit around drinking beer complaining about everything. They stay here because their life is far better here than their home countries, they just will not admit it. I have a few complaints but I admit my life is far better here than in the USA. Most of my expat friends feel the same. We are living the dream!

ancientpathos wrote:

Most foriegners arrogance about their home being the best, especially the Frence. They live here so they can feel superior to others. There are other westerners that are like that. They sit around drinking beer complaining about everything. They stay here because their life is far better here than their home countries, they just will not admit it. I have a few complaints but I admit my life is far better here than in the USA. Most of my expat friends feel the same. We are living the dream!

Good one AP, that will really stir my " friends " on here up. Viva La France. ( But unfortunately they are not the only ones who feel superior, been to Nha Trang lately? ).

Why anyone would think that is funny is beyond my comprehension

Happy8888 wrote:

Why anyone would think that is funny is beyond my comprehension

It was about you not drinking??  How is Kevin by the way, no one tried to steal him lately?

Kevin is just fine munching away out the back living the life of Riley before we decide to turn him in to steaks

If I lived in Vietnam with even a salary that's half of what I'm making now, then I'd be living the dream too.  It's too bad its difficult to live here unless you're either retired with a large pension, or have some ridiculously high paying job overseas or in VN, because from what I see here, most expats who live here need much higher incomes than the $200-$300 most people here are making.  I mean let's face it, none of us here can survive on what everyone else is earning here.

mikeymyke wrote:

If I lived in Vietnam with even a salary that's half of what I'm making now, then I'd be living the dream too.  It's too bad its difficult to live here unless you're either retired with a large pension, or have some ridiculously high paying job overseas or in VN, because from what I see here, most expats who live here need much higher incomes than the $200-$300 most people here are making.  I mean let's face it, none of us here can survive on what everyone else is earning here.

The big difference, ( at least rural? ), is that many VN's don't usually have to worry about renting a house, the oldest male gets the house, and if they have a bit of land, a house will be built for other family members. Plus quite often families share houses.
But with Westernization this is all changing of course, putting great pressure on VN's, once the wedding proceeds could buy a house, but now, only a flash m/bike.
   I remember in China years ago, their Govt built many cheap apartments for the " people ",  I don't think much of that happened in VN though.

Yeah I know most Vietnamese live under one roof together with their families and pool their expenses.  But even with a salary like $200-$300, its really difficult to even just save up for emergency expenses, big ticket items, etc. 

I would love to live in VN someday, but if I do, I wouldn't want to buy a house, I don't mind renting forever because I don't trust giving the Viet govt my money.

mikeymyke wrote:

Yeah I know most Vietnamese live under one roof together with their families and pool their expenses.  But even with a salary like $200-$300, its really difficult to even just save up for emergency expenses, big ticket items, etc. 

I would love to live in VN someday, but if I do, I wouldn't want to buy a house, I don't mind renting forever because I don't trust giving the Viet govt my money.

Big tickets items, like , big flat screen TV's???
Not quite sure what you mean, when you buy/sell a house, the owner, ( Red book ), receives the money, of course some tax is paid to the Govt.

mikeymyke wrote:

Yeah I know most Vietnamese live under one roof together with their families and pool their expenses.  But even with a salary like $200-$300, its really difficult to even just save up for emergency expenses, big ticket items, etc. 

I would love to live in VN someday, but if I do, I wouldn't want to buy a house, I don't mind renting forever because I don't trust giving the Viet govt my money.

Gave up trying to work out all the government rules and regulations years ago.
They seem to change from office to office location and month to month anyway. 

Easiest way out - simply gave one of my bank account cards and Mastercard to my wife to take care of anything that comes up.
There's always heaps of money left in the accounts even after she's finished the shopping and bill paying. 
(think she counts every single dong spent at the end of every month just to be sure where the money goes)

She always seems to be able to get the best bargains when shopping or paying bills for anything.
Saves me getting scalded for 'wasting money' - even on things like her birthday presents ! 

Flip465 wrote:

mikeymyke wrote:

Yeah I know most Vietnamese live under one roof together with their families and pool their expenses.  But even with a salary like $200-$300, its really difficult to even just save up for emergency expenses, big ticket items, etc. 

I would love to live in VN someday, but if I do, I wouldn't want to buy a house, I don't mind renting forever because I don't trust giving the Viet govt my money.

Gave up trying to work out all the government rules and regulations years ago.
They seem to change from office to office location and month to month anyway. 

Easiest way out - simply gave one of my bank account cards and Mastercard to my wife to take care of anything that comes up.
There's always heaps of money left in the accounts even after she's finished the shopping and bill paying. 
(think she counts every single dong spent at the end of every month just to be sure where the money goes)

She always seems to be able to get the best bargains when shopping or paying bills for anything.
Also saves me getting scalded for 'wasting money' - even on things like her birthday presents !   

Firstly Flip, thank you for reminding me it's my mum's birthday today.
My wife is the same, I went out the other day and didn't have much money on me, so I asked the wife for 200k, a week later, when she gave me my monthly  " allowance  " , I gave her the 200k back, I was surprised she had forgotten about it, then she said, " oh good, more money for the Bank. ",  She must have been a squirrel in a previous life.

mark stutley wrote:

It is becoming more and more apparent that when people move from thier home country, they just want to change the locals to be just like what they left behind (for what reason?) are we all so self absorbed that  we can't enjoy the break wev'e been given. Historically speaking, this seems to be an inherent flaw in the human character, we winge when foriegners come to our home country and bring thier bad ssss with them, why do we do the same to the Vietnamese? LOVE it or leave!! most people on the forum seem to love Viet Nam, there are a few , however who have flees. It reminds me of those people wearing t shirts saying I love somewhere, so go there if you don't  love  what youv'e got

My parent-in-laws have been in US over 30 years. They don't like speaking English, they don't like Western food and work with Vietnamese whenever possible. My father-in-law came back to Vn for the first time recently and left after only two days. He said (in Vnese) "I can't stand it here, I'm going back home to America."

You don't have to assimilate to love a place and call it your home. 

I agree with you completely

pilotadamp wrote:

I agree with you completely

Just use the like button then , ( like I did ), otherwise everyone is notified by e-mail. Thank you.

bluenz wrote:

Flip465 wrote:

mikeymyke wrote:

Yeah I know most Vietnamese live under one roof together with their families and pool their expenses.  But even with a salary like $200-$300, its really difficult to even just save up for emergency expenses, big ticket items, etc. 

I would love to live in VN someday, but if I do, I wouldn't want to buy a house, I don't mind renting forever because I don't trust giving the Viet govt my money.

Gave up trying to work out all the government rules and regulations years ago.
They seem to change from office to office location and month to month anyway. 

Easiest way out - simply gave one of my bank account cards and Mastercard to my wife to take care of anything that comes up.
There's always heaps of money left in the accounts even after she's finished the shopping and bill paying. 
(think she counts every single dong spent at the end of every month just to be sure where the money goes)

She always seems to be able to get the best bargains when shopping or paying bills for anything.
Also saves me getting scalded for 'wasting money' - even on things like her birthday presents !   

Firstly Flip, thank you for reminding me it's my mum's birthday today.
My wife is the same, I went out the other day and didn't have much money on me, so I asked the wife for 200k, a week later, when she gave me my monthly  " allowance  " , I gave her the 200k back, I was surprised she had forgotten about it, then she said, " oh good, more money for the Bank. ",  She must have been a squirrel in a previous life.

    Hope you're Mum has a great time today for her birthday     

Better to have a wife who is that way about anything to do with money matters than one who is as hopeless with money.  Seems to be one thing Vietnamese women are really good at - not wasting any money and keeping the bank accounts.

Found out in Viet Nam it's very wise NEVER forget birthdays of the ladies of the family - ESPECIALLY wife's, mother's, mother-in-law's, sister-in-law's or nieces.
( we men don't matter all that much it in that regards it seems, not to the same extent anyway )

Forgetting any one of those, even while getting you told off for wasting money, can (does) result in various other things happening around the house.
Like dinner getting slightly burnt, TiVi channel suddenly getting changed while you're in the middle of watching your favorite show, niece's laptop stops working so she need my laptop, never her mother's or my wife's, to go over her school work, etc. etc. etc.

WORST by far is forgetting the mother-in-law's birthday !      
That would get me in more trouble than forgetting any other birthday or anniversary, 1st date, engagement, even wedding  anniversary  !

People seem to forget that in every country its the same, agree with Milkybunny totally.

Thanks Flip, but at 84 and freezing in Southern Central NZ,  I don't think she will be having much of a good time.
I'm lucky I don't have a Mother n law, ( I do however attend her annual dead awakening party , one of the few I will attend ), the wife's family don't make any sort of fuss over birthdays, they don't even exchange gifts, is this normal in VN? I prefer they forget mine as well, who wants to celebrate having one year less to live?
I'm not allowed to forget my wedding anniversary though. But its only 2 days after my birthday, so I don't usually.

bluenz wrote:

Thanks Flip, but at 84 and freezing in Southern Central NZ,  I don't think she will be having much of a good time.
I'm lucky I don't have a Mother n law, ( I do however attend her annual dead awakening party , one of the few I will attend ), the wife's family don't make any sort of fuss over birthdays, they don't even exchange gifts, is this normal in VN? I prefer they forget mine as well, who wants to celebrate having one year less to live?
I'm not allowed to forget my wedding anniversary though. But its only 2 days after my birthday, so I don't usually.

My mother-in-law doesn't even have a birthday, she said no one paid attention to that here during her time. Maybe her mom was just lazy. 

milkybunnyHCM wrote:

bluenz wrote:

Thanks Flip, but at 84 and freezing in Southern Central NZ,  I don't think she will be having much of a good time.
I'm lucky I don't have a Mother n law, ( I do however attend her annual dead awakening party , one of the few I will attend ), the wife's family don't make any sort of fuss over birthdays, they don't even exchange gifts, is this normal in VN? I prefer they forget mine as well, who wants to celebrate having one year less to live?
I'm not allowed to forget my wedding anniversary though. But its only 2 days after my birthday, so I don't usually.

My mother-in-law doesn't even have a birthday, she said no one paid attention to that here during her time. Maybe her mom was just lazy. 

Or very cunning, just think of the amount of money she's saved by not buying presents/parties over the years?

Hope you where able to get a nice, warming, bottle of her favorite brew delivered to her for her birthday. 

Lived in Wellington for a year when I was 3, then seven years in Auckland. 
Once visited the South Island for a couple of weeks decades later. Went sight seeing by motorbike. SUCH FUN !

One evening I finally got back to the place I was staying, couldn't get off the bike - bit of drizzling rain a few hours earlier and my leathers had frozen. Managed to lean / crash the bike onto the side of the house, sat there blowing the horn for about 1/4 hour before being lifted off it, carried inside and set in front of a roaring fireplace to thaw out. 

Not sure about the birthday thing.  Maybe it varies from family to family - or depending on which part of  the country your wife's family comes from. 
Know my wife's family always called each other up, or sent cards.
While she was going to uni and for all the years since, the usual thing was / is for my wife and a few of her closest uni g/f's would go out somewhere really nice and have a few drinks together.
Two or three drinks with a celebratory dinner - then take a taxi home. ( two or three cocktails and they are all giggling messes  )
Gifts - have slowly gained in acceptance with her family as the financial situation of Viet Nam has improved over the decades since the last war ended. Not sure how other families view such things.


FAMILY - ALWAYS is the most important thing to the Vietnamese. #1 = FAMILY. #2 =Kids education. #3 = See #1 again.

#33-husband

#1 = FAMILY. #2 =Kids,  but yet they continuously burn their toxic crap????

Happy8888 wrote:

#33-husband

NO !

# 100 - - - if he behaves himself. ( my wife says, and from what I heard in the change rooms at the gym, VN husband's all play up behind their wives backs.  She says none of them can be trusted !     )

Not being VN was one reason she decided to chose me in the first place. She knows I'm NEVER going to do anything like that to her. 

So I get promoted slightly higher up her list than #100.   

Flip465 wrote:

Once visited the South Island for a couple of weeks decades later. Went sight seeing by motorbike. SUCH FUN !

One evening I finally got back to the place I was staying, couldn't get off the bike - bit of drizzling rain a few hours earlier and my leathers had frozen. Managed to lean / crash the bike onto the side of the house, sat there blowing the horn for about 1/4 hour before being lifted off it, carried inside and set in front of a roaring fireplace to thaw out. 

Reminds of working nightshift, then a 20 minute freeze on the way home, I specially hated it when my visor would freeze up, and yes, sticking those pinky's, ( by then Bluey's ), in front of that fire, can be a real shock, I believe it is called chilblains.

bluenz wrote:

Flip465 wrote:

Once visited the South Island for a couple of weeks decades later. Went sight seeing by motorbike. SUCH FUN !

One evening I finally got back to the place I was staying, couldn't get off the bike - bit of drizzling rain a few hours earlier and my leathers had frozen. Managed to lean / crash the bike onto the side of the house, sat there blowing the horn for about 1/4 hour before being lifted off it, carried inside and set in front of a roaring fireplace to thaw out. 

Reminds of working nightshift, then a 20 minute freeze on the way home, I specially hated it when my visor would freeze up, and yes, sticking those pinky's, ( by then Bluey's ), in front of that fire, can be a real shock, I believe it is called chilblains.

Mods, I wanted to move this to the " NZ, again ",  thread, but you have moved it????

Im afraid your right. Well speaking as an English man. The English dont seem cumfortable out of their zone. They have a problem trying new foods. I remember years ago when every English man and women hit the beaches of Spain. Foreigen was all new to them, they looked down on the food, instead of embracing it. They wanted thier Watneys red barrel beer, English breakfast, and fish and chips. And Spain catterd for these people. Anyone who went to Spain will tell you it ended up as a sunny blackpool. Unfortunatly the English hasent moved on from thier ways of thinking. Example, my sister and family was over a couple of years ago for my wedding. For two weeks she ate chesse sandwhiches, and ham burgers. It was only the fact that i naged her so much to try the Viet food, that she eventaly tried it and enjoyed it.

Well of you cannot handle it then go home. I been here near 3 years and still love it still blown away that I am living amongst these people and their ways. Maybe you are not so good at tolerance.