about to marry a jordanian man...

cathy81 wrote:

Hi everyone, I was wondering if anyone could help me with something, my sister has started talking online with this jordanian man, which seems fine, but then she says that he tells her all this stories about how jordanian women have so much power this days, that his ex wife used to beat him up and even showed her some photos of scratches in his arm made by her, that his friend was beat up by his wife too and how another friend of his rejected having relations with a woman at a bar and she told the police he raped her and he went to jail for 40days? all this sounds a bit strange to me, he said there are new laws that protect women and that women seem to be taking "revenge" for all the years of oppression? He said that his wife cheated on him, and when he found out he went to speak with the other guy and the guy said he didn't know she was married cuz she said she was single and then apparently both the men went to her work to confront her and everyone at her work said they had no idea she was married as she always said she was single. Some things just don't sound right, I don't know why he would lie, maybe he is telling the true, he says it happens a lot that men are beaten and abused by their wifes but they are ashamed to tell anyone.
I just want my sister to be happy, but I just can't see jordanian women be this way, would he lie about this things? and why?

U provided us with the laws and we still didn't get the message of what it is u  really want now??

maryamclarion wrote:

"All of you just thought the same as I did, somehow the stories seem a bit weird, the latest one he told her was that a jordanian woman ran over two men and killed them but she wasn't jailed because apparently she had her period at the time and so she wasn't herself?!? I never heard anything like this before, sounds crazy!"

I got teary eyes on this. Hahaha. What is the connection of having menses with trying to commit a crime? Astagfer-Allah!
This man is a genius!

Yes - his stories are so "out there", as to be very funny

Dogeatdog wrote:

Hi, I was married to a Jordanian man. The courtship by him made me feel so special so good, I believed I was the only woman on the planet. He was sensitive, always listened with eager eyes, the sex was incredible, I was in love. I thought my life my marriage will be just as I dreamed as a little girl. It will not be, I'm not just using my own experiences but others as well. Once married the men will try to break you down to accept everything they do quietly, because being a man in Jordan means he can do whatever he wants and I mean whatever. I lived there for 4 month's and I did not see him a lot, He was always out, we always had some sort of company. I separated from him emotionally to be able to cope with the loneliness and jealousy , but as you are a woman you have to be available 24/7 if the urge hits him, it started to be more a requirement. The family is wonderful, loving caring welcoming. But my Husband changed, his mother had a maid from Indonesia, very young, very beautiful also very lonely. And he basically helped himself, when I found out he got mad at me for being upset and all he would do is lie, omg can they lie, growing up in a strict household you learn early on to lie yourself out of everything. But all I could think of was getting out of there or going insane. I turned into the perfect wife and talked more and more about how much I miss my family to him and his family, which eventually got me a ticket and freedom. I divorced him asap and still have trust issues as of today. The country is beautiful, the people are wonderful, but be aware that you are committing to a Islamic country where a woman plays second role, if any. I wish you luck and happiness.

maybe it was your problem, that you couldnt acquire him as a husband!

mohdq2002 wrote:

maybe it was your problem, that you couldnt acquire him as a husband!

Re-read, she did "acquire" him. But, later divorced him.

mohdq2002 wrote:

so, the problem was with his parents, who doesn't accept you in the Family, is this right?

Yes. You are right. Anyway it's their opinion. People have diffirent outlooks in life. As long as I know I did nothing to wornged them my conscience is clear. Only Allah (God) knows what we earned from that. As for me I am now happy as I moved on because I chose to forgive and forget.

mohdq2002 wrote:

but you married him, not his parent! why did not you move to another flat or place or country? maybe if you did so, it will have happy end.

We have tried every possible ways. At last I accepted that it is our fate who decides. At least hatred and anger is not there. Thanks God. I don't want to ruin their family ties. It will be a burden in my heart for the rest of my life.

maryamclarion wrote:

mohdq2002 wrote:

but you married him, not his parent! why did not you move to another flat or place or country? maybe if you did so, it will have happy end.

We have tried every possible ways. At last I accepted that it is our fate who decides. At least hatred and anger is not there. Thanks God. I don't want to ruin their family ties. It will be a burden in my heart for the rest of my life.

The culture in Jordan is not as your culture; maybe you could not accommodate yourself here in Jordan. So, the saw you as stranger, your behaviour seemed to them as strange.

If you still love him and need him, you can contact him to move to you, and begin new level of life.

mohdq2002 wrote:

maryamclarion wrote:

mohdq2002 wrote:

but you married him, not his parent! why did not you move to another flat or place or country? maybe if you did so, it will have happy end.

We have tried every possible ways. At last I accepted that it is our fate who decides. At least hatred and anger is not there. Thanks God. I don't want to ruin their family ties. It will be a burden in my heart for the rest of my life.

The culture in Jordan is not as your culture; maybe you could not accommodate yourself here in Jordan. So, the saw you as stranger, your behaviour seemed to them as strange.

If you still love him and need him, you can contact him to move to you, and begin new level of life.

I have accepted and practiced Jordanian Culture bro. I lived their ways of living. I blended myself completely with them. I am even more conservative than them. I practiced Islam, they practiced culture: that's how we differ. I leave everything to Allah (God). There is a greater wisdom behind all these that I will find sooner or later. Allah might have a greater plans for us. I believe this is a test to my faith. All I want is to pass this test God willing. Allah knows what is best for us.

dianne76 wrote:

Salam.i would like to know are the jordanian is real arabs or chechens or any other races? I mean the guy you date with? To me some of the races and cultures would be different i bet.regards

dianne76 wrote:

Salam.i would like to know are the jordanian is real arabs or chechens or any other races? I mean the guy you date with? To me some of the races and cultures would be different i bet.regards

The majority of Jordanians are Arabs, and about 3% are not.
Circassians (Cherkess & Chechen... or they simply refer themselves as adygha or adiga) live mainly in Amman (Marj al Hamam, Wadi al seer), Al Zarqa and Jerash, they are not Arabs (by ethnicity), they have their own language (which is spoken by few of them, and the number in decrease), however they do speak Arabic.

On main topic:
Some of the people here actually mix between the Islamic teachings and traditions, while you can argue that some of the traditions are derived to some degree from Islam, many of those traditions are either exaggerated or imperfect.
Those traditions that deviated off Islam are unfair.
Unfortunately, many women in Jordan (and men as well) don't know their rights and duties that Islam reserved  them, so traditions just took over and ended up in the current Jordanian culture.

Eva ah wrote:

I was in relationship with a married Jordanian...he come as tourist,fall in love and after start tell me he will divorce his woman...or if i want to be his second woman...i never ask for nothing,he starts all this.
his wife catch as and after always he is nervous...still keep in touching with me...lm calm without expect for anythinf even if i love him i would never accept to be the second wife.
Yesterday his wife start send me messages told me to come to Jordan and to be his second one...just cause is bad for her and te children to get divorce...almost beg...i don;t believe her and i told her...honestly i feel pity for her,but still i can't believe how can react like this.
also i believe that if i stop answer to his messages he will continue to cheat his wife another girl or even me if i become his second wife...all start from the respect...
and even i was so in love with him...i feel sad about the way makes a woman to beg after 9 years of marriage...obviously both have responsibylity...just make me wonder who is the real man i love...

i think his wife has a right if she divorced... in Jordan the man goes working wife stays at home... this rule is now in changing by the new generation.  for her, better to be as first wife and you as a second wife than to be divorced...

dangelzy wrote:

dianne76 wrote:

Salam.i would like to know are the jordanian is real arabs or chechens or any other races? I mean the guy you date with? To me some of the races and cultures would be different i bet.regards

The majority of Jordanians are Arabs, and about 3% are not.
Circassians (Cherkess & Chechen... or they simply refer themselves as adygha or adiga) live mainly in Amman (Marj al Hamam, Wadi al seer), Al Zarqa and Jerash, they are not Arabs (by ethnicity), they have their own language (which is spoken by few of them, and the number in decrease), however they do speak Arabic.

in this point of view dangelzy has right...

mohdq2002 wrote:

yes, it should be closed

A man wants an advice thread for women closed - surprise, surprise!

Bratty1919 wrote:

mohdq2002 wrote:

yes, it should be closed

A man wants an advice thread for women closed - surprise, surprise!

ok, changed my mind, should be still availlable....