about to marry a jordanian man...

Are you still part of this thread? I have some questions for you if you are.
Thanks in advance

Who?

Anyone thinking about marrying a Jordanian man or have already done so

Well.. if you read the whole thread then you can guess who's married to a Jordanian and still active.

Hello, yes i am here.

Did you get married?
I married one almost 4 years ago and I am miserable. I have No idea how to get out of it becuz we got married in Jordan and it was at his parents house with a judge. As soon as we got married, Everything changed between us. I never had to convert or anything like that, but he expects me to be like his mother and sisters. I am born and raised here in Texas and am old enough to be set in my ways. He wants me to change Everything about myself and I fought tooth and nail, literally, to be the person I am now. Plus, he is narcissistic, selfish, arrogant, and mean! IF this had been like one of my past boyfriends or my ex husband, he would have Already been thrown to the curb! I also have 2 teens and he acts like I should Only be taking care of him, not him And them! He was Not like that when we met!
How do I get out of this???
He has Only been a Resident here in the states for a year....

Did you registered your marriage in the USA? And it's been recognised?
If you want to have a divorce then you contact a lawyer to start the procedure.

He's been here a year now and when he got here, he got his Green card and SS number.
He keeps saying he loves me, but I can't take his carp any more....

No i have not sponsored him and i dont plan to. Unfortunately he is not the man i thought he was.😔

Good.

Then talk to a lawyer and resolve this situation yourself! Asap

You are lucky. My husband showed his true colors After we got married. Like The minute after the "wedding" was over. I wished to God I hadn't been so sucked in by his lies that he told me Before we were married and All the money I wasted on everything.
I used to hate him. Now, I nothing him. And I feel stuck now....

Best to consult a lawyer or marriage counseling, depending on which way you want the situation to go.

I am sure you can do something about it to make your life easier.  Get some help, fix your life to make it better.  Its no too late, you live in a free country.  I know it will be hard but you have your choice. I would not stay unhappy, especially if a man is mistreating my kids.  No way! I would do everything it takes. Call the police, look for a woman's shelter and get out. I would do anything i can. Check with immigration, i am sure they can do something about it too.  If he doesn't divorce you because he is an ass then don't worry about it, the time will come for that. Just do something and see how you can get him out. That is what I would do.
My husband is not giving me any sympathy with my situation here in Canada because i am having a hard time being alone and having problems at work. He has a hard time feeling understanding my situation.  So we argue a lot about how to resolve our situation because yes he is also having a hard time but he is not goin about it in a smart way. He can be harsh, mean and rude when he gets upset and me too. Neither one of us makes it better so that means to me we wont be ok.  We had another argument this week because his lack of communication got me upset and he then starts talking nonsense, hurts my feelings he doesn't care how much it hurts after me being uoset with my issues here. He even said i can marry 4 wives tomorrow if I wanted to very easy. I was surprised by what he said. I cursed at him for being insensitive towards me. But we are not a good match. I've told him from the beginning to stop smoking b4 we got married he said he would and i believed him. So this is the big reason why i dont sponsor him because i dont want to bring this dirty environment to my home with my kids. He has not liked it but he did promise and now i am stuck until he divorces me cause we also did get married in Jordan too. He is just so different. I think it's the environment he is in and the culture thinking he can do whatever he wants to as if is still single. The religion is not what i want for me also because he talks about getting married again as if it is his choice only and i have no saying. I told him pretty much divorce me and get out of my life. So he probably wont like he hasn't before and he will probably not talk or text me for months again. So it is very hard to deal with this so called ' marriage.' I dont want nothing with him. He is selfish. I might have to go back to Jordan and do the divorce... it may be the only way i can get this resolved. I dont think anything good will be done here from his side.

I am sorry that you have to go trough this. But hopefully it'll comfort you when I say that you're not the only one who have to deal with this kind of husband.

He's trying to control you. You can break this negative circle and attitude by showing him that you don't care.
He wants to marry four women?  Yellah, go ahead! He can't even afford, let standing handle four wifes. Good thing to know is he must ask your permission to get a second wife. If he doesn't inform you, he must pay a fine. By divorcing you, you get your mahar if its not already payed. He wants to smoke? Let him! Focus on things what is important to you, what makes you happy. Not him!

Try to avoid arguments by saying nothing. It doesn't help you both. He's not listening to you and he doesn't care either. So why the efforts and troubles? He's silence for months? Leave it and don't take the initiative.

If your marriage is valid in your country , hire a lawyer with expertise in foreign marriages.
If you want to get the divorce legal in Jordan, you need a lawyer here too but I think it's not necessary to come to Jordan. But depends how you are married and which legal way you want to use.

Thank you for your feedback. I need to feel support it is so hard right now.  People like you is what helps me feels good each day coming by. I appreciate everything that is positive for my kids and i. ☺

Assalamu Alaikum sister,

SubhanAllah, I'm just wondering what has happened to you? It's been, what 6 years since this posting. May Allah have strengthen you. Ameen.

I don't even know it you will ever get this post, however I wanted to let you know... I read your extremely long, heartfelt posting and was sadden for you, while reading, then I said, this sisters faith will surely be rewarded. Allah has a plan for us, and He is the best of planners...ameen

Being a muslimah myself, revert, I just couldn't imagine, all that you've said, it was quite the journey. However, your faith in Allah must have been strengthened, in Sha Allah, by all that happened while you were in Jordan

I am still very much interested in where you are now in life, if you care to share, please contract me. I'll give you my email address if you'd like.

I know your deen got you through and that you made a difference while living in Jordan. Our good deeds are never waisted.

As always, I make dua you are back in the USA, where you seemed happiest, and that your neices are following through with what they learned from you, in Jordan, in Sha Allah.

Some side notes:

I'm still in the USA waiting to travel to Jordan, I have a colleague who married a Jordanian and lives in a some what larger village, not Amman. She never complains about her life in Jordan, she is from South Africa, and  we taught in the same school in the UAE. We shopped, ate and traveled together, both unmarried at the time.. She was as out going as I and you sounded while living in America.

May Allah SubhanAllah Ta'ala grant you and your family ease and a Blessed Ramadan!  (It's close, Alhamdulillah)

Fi Amanillah
Sister Fatima

Lol Mine keeps saying how wonderful he is and ***... He sure IS wonderful..... To His family, to His friends, etc. As a husband, HE S***S!
The other day, he came home sore from work and asked me to help him bring in his stuff from the car. I just laughed! I reminded him of how he was when we came home from the ER after I was in severe pain and he jumped out to tend to his cats!
I tell ya, they are stupid and needy and narcissistic and ME ME ME!!! 24/7!!!  I wished to God I had Not sponsored my husband. I now owe my dad Thousands of dollars that was helping me with that! I'm in debt with him (my dad) for ths rest of my life!
My husband can go s***

Good evening, Sister Fatima

Thank you and God bless you.  I have been doin well, thank God.  I am trying to keep moving on with life as best as i can. I do not mind to keep in touch. That would be great to have some contacts close to Jordan.

Thank you,
Mirna

Always welcome.
Please do keep in touch.. I'm here.
May God heal you, and provide your every need...Ameen.

Happy Ramadan!

Hi !!
  You can cancelled this marriage by the help of a lawyer if you married a civil marriage. You can found a lawyer who can see your case free or give you a free advice.
If you get married by Islam law, there are rules to follows, talk with a imam,special a one who know well about divorce and marriage laws.

    i wish you the best
       Umma Muhammad

Hello, ok i will find out.

I have NO idea how it is going to happen, but I Will be FINALLY getting a divorce from my Jordanian husband! I cannot wait! We got married in Jordan by a judge, since I am Christian. Can Anyone explain to me how the divorce Should take place and how long it takes to get it??? Thanks in advance!

Congrats! I have no idea but your husband is willing to cooperate.

I hear different stories from women who their husband are not willing so it can take up some years....

I've been married to a Jordanian/Palestinian man for 26 years. I think with every marriage for it to succeed you must have similar experiences! I would advice against marrying outside your religion. This is very difficult and even if the man is not religious in America he will be once returning to Jordan. If you are the same religion and decide to marry living in Jordan comfortably does depend on your proposed fiance's family and socioeconomic status. If he lives with extended family and in a small village you will not be able to take it. Also keep in mind if he lives in city that right now the overcrowding is ridiculous you will not be able to drive anywhere and unless you have a good education and some Arabic you will not be able to work so you will be at the mercy of your husband to shop et for you. Good luck. P

Hi, Iam a jordanian man was married to an American wife in Jordan. We moved to the US and then it did not work out. We had to get divorce in Florida and I simply submitted the divorce papers to the court with the Jordanian islamic marriege certificate. They accepted the contract as if it is an American marriege contract because it was attested from the US embassy in Amman. We got the divorce in  less than 3 months since there was no children. The point is, US courts recognize Jordanian marrieges and treat them as regular contract. You simply need to go to a family court and file for divorce. I moved back to Jordan after the divorce and been back here for years now. Im happily married to a Jordanian for 12 years now.

The main reason behind conflicts among couples is the cultufal differences. You cant say the problem is with the Jordanian or with the American. Once you get into such mariege with someone who is from an extremely different culture you have to expect such challenges. The dimensions of cultural differences between American and Jordanian are extremly wide. That creates conflicts and hardship for both parties. Both must comprimize to sail the ship otherwise both will altemately lose.

One advice for both Jordanians and Americans, males and females, are you ready to give away some of your cultural beleives after getting married? If not then back up from the begining.

Cultural differences can be sweet or sour... it can be even extremply spicy... how spicy do you like your food to be?

Yes I think I am still apart of this thread.
I've been very busy.
Fi Amanillah

My concern is he hasn't contacted me or said anything about divorcing me. When he does not keep in touch no more.  So can I divorce if he dont have contact with me cause I know i may need his signature so if he doesn't am I stuck or should I just go there and see him In person.
I don't want to waste my money with a lawyer if he dont sign or are there other options.!

He doesn't neccesarily have to sign.  You can just do a published ad announcing the divorce and if he doesn't respond or contest it within a certain amount of time you are then granted the divorce.  Even if you use a lawyer for this since you don't have any kids or assets jointly owned or are seeking any spousal support etc, it will be MUCH cheaper than taking a trip there.....and much less hassle.

There is no such a thing like stuck with him. Talk to him and ask him to sign the divorce papers. If he refuses yhen go to the court and file the divorce by ur self. You might need a lawyer to fill the application only. They will proceed with the case and issue the divorce. They will mail him the court order and you will be done. Good luck...

Can you explain Bratty?

A dear and good friend of mine is in deep sh*t because of her husband. She's not in Jordan anymore but according the law of her country she's divorced already but not for the islamic court in Jordan. A lawyer appointed by the ambassy asked 6000 (!) JD in advance.
According to my knowledge it can take up two or three years before the divorce is final after the publication.

Premaddkna,
If I nay share a n American experience... she got a divorce in MD on an islamic marrieg that was issued in Jorda. The Jordanian courts recognize the divorce order os a US court. My friend took the US court divorce paper to the Jordanian court and ended her marriege officially in Jordan based on the US court order. If she cant come to Jordan then she must sign a power of attorney to a Jordanian lawyer and send it  along wiyh the US court order. The lawyer in Jordan can do the work and get is officially recorded in Jordan. It should not be that expensive. Let me know if u have more questions or need further help.

Thanks.  I shall pass the information you provided. Hope it helps.
Maybe I come back to you if needed.

Oh gosh!😑

Hi, I’m Jamie living in Irbid with my 1 yr old daughter (who is epileptic) and I am 5 months pregnant (it’s a boy)...I’m not married here in Jordan or In the USA by court however I am married in through the mosque in the USA and My husband told me when I come I will be able to come back no questions asked with my daughter when I want to with no problem, As he is in America still working (truck driver) but has a problem getting a home for us to come back to and now doesn’t want me to give birth to our son In America but wants me to give birth here in Jordan and I’m worried I’m being set up. He won’t be here for the birth, I’m due February 14th 2018 and I have looked something’s up but found he has to be here in order for our son to get US citizenship and a US passport or a notarized letter will be sufficient enough, My question is do you know anything about the Laws in Jordan and If my Mosque Marriage In America also applies to here.