Planning to move to Vietnam very soon

5POSTS

8 years ago

Hi All,

I'm new here and I have some general questions as I'm planning to move to Vietnam at the end of this year.

I'm Italian and I live in Thailand at the moment. Last january I went on holiday to Vietnam and I've dated a Vietnamese girl , we got along very well and now we've just started a proper relationship.
I'm 40 and she is 25 (although to be honest I look much younger

). She is from a sort of rural area, not really countryside but not even a very big city, it's just a quiet and nice place in the south of Vietnam.
At the moment we meet about every 3 weeks (either I go to Vietnam or she comes to Thailand) and once my Thai VISA will expire I would like to move to Vietnam so we can live together.

So first of all, I would like to know if Da Lat and Hanoi are both good cities where to move for an expat ?
Also, very important: any advice in order to live in Vietnam for the next 2 years without getting married (this is obviously regarding VISA), I could live in Italy and Thailand for 3 months in between, during the year so I wouldn't need exactly to stay the whole 12 months in Vietnam.

Thank you guys!

The Vietnam expat guide

Comprehensive and free

Read it now

King_of_the_Ring New member

5POSTS

8 years ago

Thank you for your reply! I've already visited Da Lat (it's actually the place where I dated my girlfriend for the first time) and I've spent there 3 days. I really liked it and the climate is very good cause it's not cold neither to hot. In fact the main reason why we would move either to Da Lat or to Hanoi is the temperature, because is not as hot as HCMC ( I like the city but I can't bear the heath wave ). What I would like to know is more about things to do in general while living there, if there are sport facilities (I practice martial arts and I know for sure Hanoi has got good place where to train) or if for example there are some nice bars where to go for a drink in the evening.

gobot ViP

1430POSTS

8 years ago

King_of_the_Ring wrote:
She is 25 ... from a sort of rural area ...
any advice in order to live in Vietnam for the next 2 years without getting married

Hey King, I am sensing faint thunder in the distance. Just wondering...

Are you sure she and her family are onboard with you two living together for two years? In a random city away from her home? Maybe you have all discussed this, and her mother and relatives are modern feminists and everyone is happy with your master plan. Good - then the sky is clear! Nevermind.

But in case there has been no announcement, and you are assuming Western-style dating patterns, just a reality check - Vietnam is not Italy or Thailand.

I believe it is safe to generalize that Vietnamese families, especially rural ones, are traditional and expect a brief engagement period before marriage, then cohabitation, and then babies. In that order. At 25, her sisters and brothers and cousins are likely already married with kids, and she has been getting some 'encouragement' to do likewise. This sort of well-meaning pressure can cause turbulence, so just be aware! The silver lining is that as soon as you marry, you can get a visa exemption and your visa issues go away.

Anyway no offense if I saw clouds looming that aren't there!

2 members reacted to this post

King_of_the_Ring New member

5POSTS

8 years ago

Hi Gobot! Yes, of course she mentioned marriage just a few days after we met for the first time

and I told her no way I would get married before at least 2 years time. She first mentioned, the reason of her wedding request was that would show loyalty to her as she can be worried of me changing my mind about her, then she mentioned the "bad rumors" from the neighbourhood, because people don't see well a girl going to live with a man without marriage. I couldn't ignore this fact of the neighbourhood people opinion's so I promised to her we gonna get engaged this summer, just before going to Europe and then moving together. She and her mother were very happy with this decision. The family really loves me,both parents, brother, sister, uncles and grandparents, they make me really feel at home when I go to Vietnam so I guess everything is fine.

Anyway Gobot, thank you for your reply, I really understand where you coming from and this things about wedding was something I wanted to mention in my first introduction, but then I thought I would have been too long-winded.

2 members reacted to this post

ralphnhatrang Serial expat

599POSTS

8 years ago

King, you mention that you so martial arts, which are very popular on VN. VN has them all: aikido, judo, karate, taekwondo, kungfu, wushu, vo co truyen (traditional VN martial art) vovinam (modern VN martial art). I haven't come across hapkido yet, but it is likely to be around somewhere.

King_of_the_Ring New member

5POSTS

8 years ago

ralphnhatrang wrote:
...aikido, judo, karate, taekwondo, kungfu, wushu, vo co truyen (traditional VN martial art) vovinam (modern VN martial art).

Thanks for your information Ralph, but I'm more in to those ones around MMA like Muay Thai or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I found some good gyms in Hanoi but I'm not sure about Da Lat. I can definitely do Boxe in Da Lat but I would rather train Muay Thai, to be honest.

ralphnhatrang Serial expat

599POSTS

8 years ago

I haven't come across them on VN either. Perhaps an expat or two in Dalat does them. Good luck.

1 member reacted to this post

gobot ViP

1430POSTS

8 years ago

King_of_the_Ring wrote:
Yes, of course she mentioned marriage just a few days after we met for the first time

Yeah that's what I mean. It is different in Vietnam. If a woman in the US mentioned the "M" word on the second date, any guy would rocket out of there. Good luck with your plans, treat her well.

2 members reacted to this post