Can you be good friend with someone you slept with?

lust New member

Member since 06 November 2013

lustNew member06 November 2013 05:20:57

QUESTION: In the western culture, can you stay close friendship with someone you slept with?
Like talking everyday, sharing daily stories ect, encourage each other in life... but nothing about the relationship or love related topic.
(Actually, we just sleepover and did cuddle, not sex)

REASON: 1)We live apart in different sides of the world.
2)He is not physical attached to me anymore since we argued so much since we haven't met in person. And he told me: he just want to be friend, he doesn't want to suffer anything or worry for anyone now.

I am so confused right now, he think we are good friend now, and talk to me so much as a normal friend everyday. It makes me feel hard and hurt by talking this way. I was trying to unfriend several times already, but we end up still being friend because he couldn't bear for not being my friend. But i also couldn't bear for being his friend like this. however, i always put his want as priority over mine. So we are still friends now over 5 months up and down.
I don't understand what this man want? For sure, he doesn't want relationship with me and doesn't want to take advantage of me neither. (I am sure because after that crazy night, he had huge of oppotunity to take advantage of me,but he just didn't because later he understood a bit the orient culture, he didn't want to be a bad guy. In additional, he is incredible handsome and energy, so it is not difficult for him to get any girl )

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GuestPoster568 Guest

GuestPoster568Guest06 November 2013 05:42:16

You said and I quote "But i also couldn't bear for being his friend like this." Then you need to do whatever it takes to move on i.e. block his calls, don't call him no matter what. If after a long time you feel the need then contact him but only after a longgggg time.

jimbream Serial expat

Member since 12 May 2013

jimbreamSerial expat06 November 2013 05:45:00

693

I don't think this is the best forum for intimate relationship advice.
Just the poster last week concerning sexual relations and STD's.
You'd be much better off talking with real people face to face that know you and have sage advice.
Good fortune.

bluenz Member

Member since 06 August 2013

bluenzMember06 November 2013 05:51:27

1933

Get another boyfriend, and see how he reacts then. Maybe you can move on then.

lust New member

Member since 06 November 2013

lustNew member06 November 2013 07:52:53

jimbream wrote:
I don't think this is the best forum for intimate relationship advice.
Just the poster last week concerning sexual relations and STD's.
You'd be much better off talking with real people face to face that know you and have sage advice.
Good fortune.

I can't not ask the real people cause it is sensitive question and weird. And moreover, Vietnames judge girl for being with foreigner.

bluenz Member

Member since 06 August 2013

bluenzMember06 November 2013 07:59:40

1933

lust wrote:
And moreover, Vietnames judge girl for being with foreigner.

Now there's a topic I'd like to discuss with VN's, my mind works overtime when I see Vn's staring at my VN wife, or her daughter, or in fact any VN female I am with, what is it, envy?, disgust?, or ' how did she get him?, or what did she have to do to get him?, etc, etc.
If looks good kill , I would have been a widower many times over, or is it mainly a Rural people thing?

ancientpathos Serial expat

Member since 28 August 2012

ancientpathosSerial expat06 November 2013 09:56:10

729

lust wrote:
QUESTION: In the western culture, can you stay close friendship with someone you slept with?
Like talking everyday, sharing daily stories ect, encourage each other in life... but nothing about the relationship or love related topic.
(Actually, we just sleepover and did cuddle, not

Yes some people can do it and remain friends with the occasional sleep over. But you need to define your emotions about sex and your feelings towards the friend. Remember that having sex with him will not make him want to marry you. Define what you will get out of the friendship and then decide how to proceed. My advice is DO NOT HAVE SEX if you are only doing it to keep him or her around.

Priscilla ViP

Member since 30 May 2013

PriscillaViP06 November 2013 12:05:32

42358

Hi everybody,

Please note that Expat.com is a community website for expatriates and people who want to live abroad. We are not qualified to discuss on emotional problems.

Thank you,

Priscilla
Expat.com team

( Topic closed )