"White-Washed"

Hi, very interesting topic and one that has come up time and time again in my life as well. As much as I tell myself in no way would I accept these superficial labels, sometimes it does affect me more than I'd like to admit. I wholeheartedly agree that labeling is just a convenient way to people to "figure you out" (or at least that's what they like to think); they don't hold much substance about who you are as a whole and why you are that way.

I'm from Hanoi. Friends from Hanoi has told me I'm "southern." Vietnamese have told me I'm "Westernized/Americanized." People from all over the world have told me I'm not very "Asian". First of all, it's easy to point out how big and diverse the Western world, America, and Asia are. And second I think it really comes down to me not being the outwardly submissive demure frail fair-skinned Viet girl. I'm stubborn. I like lengthy discussions and can sometimes get very argumentative. I like to get a healthy amount of sun. I travel solo. I surf (or at least try to). At the same time I'm very very very respectful in the "Asian" way to Asian elders. I put family first. I've decided that I'll take care of my parents in their old age even though my mom drives me crazy. Those are manners and values that I identify with, and they're typically considered Vietnamese/Asian. It's quite impossible to tell which part of my personality comes from within and which part comes from the environment. Nature, nurture, it's never "either-or," it's both. No doubt my time abroad was eye-opening and life-changing, but "cha mẹ sinh con trời sinh tính." My mom likes to say I was born a mule. America/the West has nothing to do with it, I was just born with a hard head and like to have it my way.

Many have argued that mental shortcuts are evolutionary. Our brain needs to compartmentalize so that we can make sense of life. Fair enough. No doubt I do that as well. I just try very hard to be careful because I don't want to limit myself or others when it comes to who we are and who we can be.

That kind of talk is rooted in jealously.  Try not to let it bother you.