Hello and much - or any - advice appreciated!

KLwifey Member

Member since 16 February 2007

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

KLwifeyMember16 February 2007 04:22:33

Hi there, I'm Malaysian and native to Kuala Lumpur, but am married to a lovely Swiss man who has just recieved an amazing offer to work (again) in Bern, Switzerland. No prob, really...except, here in KL I have also a great job, family, friends, etc (ie. a house maid and driver! We are spoiled!). Our 2 toddlers are also very close to their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I grew up in the States and Canada, so I can appreciate how travel and other cultures can expand one's horizon, but I find I'm set in a comfort zone. Plus, I have a career here, and I will probably, truth be told, be a housewife in Bern. I have mixed feelings about that, obviously.

On top of that, I don't know if I can pick up another language easily! I speak a little French (badly) and hardly any German. What do expat wives in Bern get up to? Could I plausibly get a job (with no german!)? Would I begin to resent my spouse, for the uproot and untimely end to my career? I am soooo very excited for him/us for this opportunity, yet....(shiver)...I dunno...! I'm scared!

We've visited relatives in Switzerland and I do love the place! It's so clean and beautiful.....part of me just wants to surrender to the fantasy that everythig will be cool, but I know too many expat wives who have had very uncool experiences in their husband's postings. Our plans for the future do include going somewhere great and green (like NZ), but we didn't expect to get this offer so soon! We want the kids to have a great education and clean living environment. I should be jumping with joy, but I'm just so-so at the mo.

Help!

Julien Founder

Member since 11 March 2005

17 years of happy life abroad

JulienFounder16 February 2007 10:51:15

53069

Welcome on board KLwifey!

A lot of people on this website have been, are, or will be in the same situation than yours.

What do you think about these topics:
moving anxiety and
desperate expat housewives?

If you've got precise questions about Switzerland, you should ask on the living in Europe forum.

All the best,

Julien

KLwifey Member

Member since 16 February 2007

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

KLwifeyMember19 February 2007 07:16:09

Merci, Julien.

I love that, desperate EXPAT housewives...that should be a hit tv show!

It's amazing really, the different experiences people have globally. I have expat-friends(wives) here in KL who bewail the day they have to move from KL back to their original country or to another posting. Life as an expat wife here is pretty peachy because:
1. Almost everyone speaks english - or some basic form of it
2. There are so many clubs, associations, BARS! etc one can join to meet like-minded people, families, etc
3. Foreigners are treated very well here, and let's face it, PAID very well too in their various industries, so they can enjoy a very high standard of living they would only dream of back 'home'.
4. You can pretty much get anything you need or want from the shops/supermarkets to cook what you want to when you're home sick.
5. There are a number of international schools to chose from, all generally very good.

...sigh! Sometimes, I wish I were an expat wife in KL, not having to slog at a job - but having the resources, social life, language that would make it all worthwhile! *grin*

Jo Ann ViP

Member since 04 April 2006

Jo AnnViP19 February 2007 13:11:30

1548

Welcome!

KLwifey Member

Member since 16 February 2007

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

KLwifeyMember20 February 2007 07:40:38

Thanks!!!
btw, how do you get the little flagie icons on, for your signature? Can't seem to get the hang of it... :0

Julien Founder

Member since 11 March 2005

17 years of happy life abroad

JulienFounder20 February 2007 09:43:19

53069

Have a look here: https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=689

KLwifey Member

Member since 16 February 2007

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

KLwifeyMember20 February 2007 10:03:33

Thank you! I got it! (finally!)

Invader_Stu Contributor

Member since 11 September 2006

Invader_StuContributor02 March 2007 13:42:55

101

Welcome to the site

Elica New member

Member since 16 March 2007

ElicaNew member16 March 2007 17:42:38

Hello and welcome

Your fear in not unfounded...I understand what a difference having extended family and help ( such as maid and nanny) can make when raising young kids.. it is better not to have known the comfort than to have it and to potentially loose it ( I am sure labour is not cheap in Bern). On top of that you might have to stay home! It seems like it will be a huge change... I have also lived in three continents and five countries by the time I was 24 so I was all for exposing my son to the same experiance but it had its price too for me that is. He misses his extended family although we visit once a year, I have to give up my job and change path etc...
But I also get excited about having a whole new experiance as well ( I get bored easily in one place for long.. emmm wonder why ) I look at life in chapters, like books, just mine is different countries or cities. So good luck.. make sure you are prepared emotionaly if there is such a thing! How long will the move be for? If it is for a short while look at it as a wonderful experiance to add to an already rich life of yours... the toddlers might or might not remember much depending of their age... and discuss all this with your husband. He will be the closest friend you will have abroad.

Good luck and Have Fun!
E

Elizabeth Member

Member since 28 December 2006

Out of your cultural comfort zone? Share your "cultural moments" with Elizabeth -- what to do when that queasy, light-headed or punch-in-the-gut feeling comes on, www.culturalmoments.blogspot.com

ElizabethMember16 March 2007 20:27:56

#10

It won't be easy, but at least you have that figured out!

dig in and learn the language (which in Bern??)

do what you like to do (sports, music, whatever) as a way to connect and keep your sense of self.

try to find a small niche....
big hug and lots of positive energy,
E

KLwifey Member

Member since 16 February 2007

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -Mother Theresa

KLwifeyMember29 March 2007 03:20:01

#11

Hi Stu, Elica and Elizabeth,
If we move to CH, it'll probably be for good, or until the kids graduate from high school - and I never in my life, envisioned rearing little german speaking children!!!
Aaaaaah....funny how life throws it's interesting curveballs....
It kind of freaks me out a little, because I guess I always thought my kids would be more asian than european (even though they look more like Dad than me!) - that's another topic for another post!!!!
I hope that I can continue to work in radio or the music industry when I'm in Bern. From what I've learned so far, there defintely is a growing music scene there. For the most part, I am looking forward to taking a year off to look after the children (Milo 2.5yrs and Sophie .9 months) and settle in. Any longer and I'd go stir crazy!!!
xox

Kro Member

Member since 21 March 2007

Habra nadie que te quiera mas que yo...

KroMember29 March 2007 07:58:21

#12

Hey KL!
I hope that if you move to bern you'll get use to it. Of course, you won't have the same quality of life, except if you have great situation in Bern.
There are a lot of expat there because it's the capital of Switzerland, but it's not a lifeful town. It's really small...
But at the same time, you have opportunities to work!
However, you can speak french in some part of the town: I lived there one year as a child and I was in a french-speaking school, because otherwise, they speak schweizerdeutsch, which is not as "hochdeutsch"...
ALso, good luck and welcome (back) in Switzerland