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How to Take a Joke

Fun is fun. But when the joke's on you, sometimes it's hard to know how to react, respond, and continue having a good time. If you want to know how to take a joke, then you have to learn to stay calm, be more easygoing, and understand that it comes from a good place. But if the joke is really meant to hurt you, then it's time to stand up for yourself. Keep reading for detailed instructions on how to take a joke after the jump.

    Take a Joke Step 1.jpg
    1
    Just laugh. Try to remember that most jokes are good-natured attempts at being funny. Sometimes, we take the cheapest route to funny, and usually that takes the form of taking a shot at someone. If the shot's aimed at you, try to remember that person is just trying to be funny - it's probably about him more than about you
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    2
    Control your temper. It's a bad idea to respond to a joke with anger. Calm yourself and tell yourself over and over that you do not need to be angry.
    Take a Joke Step 3.jpg
    3
    Ignore it. If you are offended by the joke, ignore it. Don't laugh at it. If the joker says, "Oh (your name), you can't take a joke!" just ignore it. You can actually end up having a bit of a laugh on him or her just by looking confused and saying something like, "Oh, was that a joke? Huh." Showing the others that you didn't get the humor there can give you a little leg up on the joker without making you look like a jerk.
    Take a Joke Step 4.jpg
    4
    Try to remember, most of the stuff they say isn't to hurt you. Jokes are about just trying to have fun. Instead of getting mad about it, you can even laugh along and join in, and even add your own joke about that person, or even continue the joke on yourself (you look like an excellent sport, and as a bonus, others think you are very confident when you do so). But only do it for fun, not as a form of revenge on the instigator.
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    5
    Express your feelings calmly. Sometimes, you feel that enough is enough, or you just aren't in the mood to be the butt of a joke. If you feel that you just can't take anymore, or you find yourself boiling up inside,then tell the person how you feel, and chances are she/he will understand.
    Take a Joke Step 6.jpg
    6
    Consider the source. Some people make inane jokes simply because they like to hear themselves talk. Some people have the wrong idea that all insults are funny, and so they insult you, and the insult may or may not even be true. Saying a joke that obviously isn't really true is just a lie - example: "You're like a dumb blond." Know that you are not whatever negative things said; if you know you aren't a dumb blond, whatever is said is meaningless.
    Take a Joke Step 7.jpg
    7
    Smile and play along (sometimes). There are a few scenarios where this response might be appropriate, such as at school when those making the jokes don't know you well, or don't realize they're annoying you. At times, if you can show yourself to be a gracious good sport, you can win respect from those making the comments, and make new friends out of the deal. Another scenario where this is a good response is when you actually do something funny to prompt the joke, such as spilling water on yourself. Everyone will laugh and some doofus will turn around and say, "Oh, check it out - taking a swim!" or some other nonsense, as if you weren't already embarrassed and uncomfortable enough. But instead of getting mad, realize that you will still be wet whether or not you can just relax and get over it. Laugh, point at the wet spot and say, "D'oh! And I left my beach towel at home." The others will laugh along, and you'll have had the last laugh. Bonus points for turning to the prettiest girl (or handsomest guy) in the room with a little eyebrow wiggle and suggestive smile, and saying, "Can I borrow yours?"
    Take a Joke Step 8.jpg
    8
    Be easygoing. Going with the flow of things is often the best way to deal with idiots. There are a lot of (especially young) people who haven't really understood the finer points of real humor. They find "random" things and insults funny, and so say "random" things and insult people without realizing that a random response is only funny in those circumstances where a remark is made that is totally unexpected, or that an insult is only funny if it isn't so pointed that it hurts someone. The best way to handle these people is to laugh along a little bit, and then find ways to adjust their attempts at humor (by making your own, better jokes).
    Take a Joke Step 9.is crap.

Rise up people . We shall not be repressed (except the french , that is )

Happy8888 wrote:

Rise up people . We shall not be repressed (except the french , that is )

And Mexicans apparently?

Tips

    Read up on jokes - if it's an actual joke (i. e., a specific blond joke) directed at you it always helps to have heard the joke a billion times before, and possibly be able to say the punchline before someone else does. That will either amuse the person, or show him or her that joking about you is pointless.
    If all else fails, try saying, "I got the bullseye tonight - all right. Go ahead, do your worst." Let this person make his or her jokes. Then say, "Is that it? Is that all you got?" Hopefully, this person gets the point that you've had enough. If the jabs continue, walk away with a smile, and a shake of your head that tells everyone watching that some people just don't know when to quit. You will end up looking better out of it than the other guy.
    A smile and a mock expression of affront are a great defense.
    Always try to blow it off at first. If it continues, you can talk to the perpetrator.

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Warnings

    Be able to tell the difference between a joke and bullying. Sometimes, very offensive jokes or slurs are enough, and should be dealt with in a positive manner. Do not let them get the best of you, if telling them about it leads to more "joking", ignore them.
    Be aware that sometimes it's best to just walk away from certain situations. Standing up for yourself, unfortunately, may make you an even bigger target.  ( pls do )
In other words , " harden up " you sensitive PC wimps..

The yanks wouldn't know what a sense of humour if they tripped over it .Ever tried taking the P#ss out of one? They get really angry which actually makes it funnier

Happy8888 wrote:

The yanks wouldn't know what a sense of humour if they tripped over it .Ever tried taking the P#ss out of one? They get really angry which actually makes it funnier

No, not all of them, one on here thinks spelling , while learning English isn't necessary, ( sounds like the old VN English teaching method , prounouciation wasn't important then, " we will just read and write everything ? ", doesn't matter if no one can understand a bloody thing they said. ).

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

George Bernard Shaw


I believe in absolute freedom of expression. Everyone has a right to offend, and be offended.

Taslima Nasrin


Freedom of speech includes the freedom to offend people.

Brad Thor


What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.

Salman Rushdie


Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Jeff Ross


I've never really been one to try to be politically correct. I just feel truth is truth, and sometimes I probably offend some people.

Franklin Graham

Hi bluenz,

I don't think our previous post needed further explanations.
Again, we have no problem with a jokes thread but we believe there are a lot of them not necessarily referring to nationalities, sex, religion, origin.

Thanks
Armand
Expat.com Team

Here here.Moderators please take notice of what these famous learned people say

Armand wrote:

Hi bluenz,

I don't think our previous post needed further explanations.
Again, we have no problem with a jokes thread but we believe there are a lot of them not necessarily referring to nationalities, sex, religion, origin.

Thanks
Armand
Expat.com Team

Maybe, but they are not very funny at all. We  are , ( or should  be ) all adults on here, if they don't like , don't read it, simple enough?

If you can't joke about nationalities, sex, religion or origin, what is there left to joke about ? Armandillo"s

Now I know that a lot of people think that the chicken crossed the road for personal gain and self revelation or whatever else

But the real reason is simple.

So ask yourself

Why did the chicken cross the road?

And realize that the only true answer to the question is this.

To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.


"Whats the difference between between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead armadillo in the road? The armadillo has skid marks in front of it!

Hi hi hi , bloody hi !!!

A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose hes ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks, Ess-tues me ser?

Yes sir, replied the clerk.

Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?

Pistachios? Theyre six dollars a pound.

SSit! The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks, Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?

Almonds? Theyre seven fifty a pound.

SSIT! replied the tongue-tied man. Welp, how bout your
pikanns?

Pecans? Theyre on sale today, theyre only four fifty a pound.

Welp, Ssit. Just div me a poulnd of dose dhen.

Alright then, says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.

Then, the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tant hep it.

The clerk replies with a smile. Oh sir, you dont have to thank me for that. I dont make fun of anybody, for any thing! I dont know if you noticed, or not, but I have a rather large nose.

The tongue-tied guy replies, Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your penis, your nutz arr so damn high!

Some more kiddie jokes.

Got Nuts?

A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.

The guy says, "No, ma'am."

She says, "Well, do you have any dates?"

And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"

One day two peanuts, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured peanut called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured peanut was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured peanut, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

A peanut, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The peanut said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

A guy walks into the doctor's office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a peanut in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 peanuts and I asked for one, how many would you have left?" Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 peanuts."

Fancy posting a joke that makes fun of people !!You should be ashamed of yourself, what's wrong with you?

Perhaps the mods can issue us with a list of things we are actually allowed to joke about.

What a joke. !!!!!

Happy8888 wrote:

Fancy posting a joke that makes fun of people !!You should be ashamed of yourself, what's wrong with you?

Feeling So Ashamed
"I'm feeling so ashamed of the way we live," a wife said to her husband, who preferred to spend his time laying on the couch watching TV, rather than finding a job. "My father pays our mortgage, my mother buys all of our groceries for us, my sister buys us our clothes, my uncle bought us a car. I'm feeling so ashamed."
The husband raised his head and replied, "Well, you should feel ashamed. Those three worthless brothers of yours never even give us a cent!"

( sounds like a few families around here I know of ),

bluenz wrote:

Armand wrote:

Hi bluenz,

I don't think our previous post needed further explanations.
Again, we have no problem with a jokes thread but we believe there are a lot of them not necessarily referring to nationalities, sex, religion, origin.

Thanks
Armand
Expat.com Team

Maybe, but they are not very funny at all. We  are , ( or should  be ) all adults on here, if they don't like , don't read it, simple enough?

Your error Blue.
Only straight Caucasian males can be the subject of a joke. Everything else is offensive. It is 2014 after all. Oh and you can freely discuss the errors of foreigners in this country and question their merits,qualifications,reasons for living here too. That's open and ok.

I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is......


Proud to be White

Michael Richards, better known as Kramer  from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point. This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act.  He makes some very interesting points...

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.  You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman'... and that's OK..

But when I call you, Ni**er, Coon, Towel Head,  Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, Paki, or Chink . you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you... so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.  You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah.  You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.  You have BET....


If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists.  If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.
If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.
If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance'OUR lives, we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.  Wonder who pays for that??

A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know - we'd be racists.
There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US ..  Yet if there were 'White Colleges', that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.  If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.  But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

I am proud.... But you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists??
There is nothing improper about this e-mail..  Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.  I sadly don't think many will.  That's why we have   LOST  most of OUR RIGHTS  in this country.  We won't stand up for ourselves!

BE PROUD TO BE WHITE!

It's not a crime YET... but getting very close!

Please take note of No3

APHORISM:  A SHORT POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING
A WISE OR  CLEVER OBSERVATION

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at
all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to
become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people
a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM.  It
could be a right number.

No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
bucket..


Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a
Corvette than in a Yugo.

After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the
one's that do mind don't matter.

seriously, guys you have not much to do , how long did it take to type that explanation?

mark stutley wrote:

seriously, guys you have not much to do , how long did it take to type that explanation?

Come into the 20 th century Mark, copy and paste.

Ah, ever heard of cut and paste ????

Damn your quick Chris

And mark , apart from trying to keep my troupe in line and tending my buffalo (kevin) no not a lot to do

bluenz wrote:

mark stutley wrote:

seriously, guys you have not much to do , how long did it take to type that explanation?

Come into the 20 th century Mark, copy and paste.

It's so easy,you see.

Well she is kinda blonde

Anyone who hasn't got a good, open sense of humor should -

# 1 give away or sell all their computers, iPads, smart phones and anything else that allows them access to the internet.   

# 2 be medicated 24 /7 and  never allowed out into any public areas again unless wearing a straight jacket and accompanied by at least two qualified psychiatric nurses.   

So - Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!


( N. Bonaparte XIVth.  - - - 1966 )

Flip465 , I like #2, but how do you medicate a whole country and find 180million psychiatric nurses?

Happy8888 wrote:

Flip465 , I like #2, but how do you medicate a whole country and find 180million psychiatric nurses?

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."


Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Chris, you are a very very naughty boy !!! And a VIP one at that !!

Happy8888 wrote:

Chris, you are a very very naughty boy !!! And a VIP one at that !!

Bill and Hillary Clinton go to a Yankees game together. They had VIP seats in the first row. All of a sudden, a secret service agent comes up to Bill and whispers in his ear. A few seconds later, Bill grabs Hillary and throws her out onto the field! The SS agent comes running back to Bill and says, "Mr. President, sir, I think you misunderstood me. I said throw out the first pitch."



A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.

Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18 room mansion with servants and a swimming pool.

At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a Manischewitz kosher TV dinner, and the lawyer receives a fine and tasty meal, served on silver platters.

By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"

The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

Happy8888 wrote:

Flip465 , I like #2, but how do you medicate a whole country and find 180million psychiatric nurses?

EASY !  The current generation's kids and grand kids !   

Side benefit - full nation employment. 

Hi guys,

hope you are well.

Perhaps the mods can issue us with a list of things we are actually allowed to joke about.

Everything is written in the terms and conditions, which I invite you to read, particularly that part (+ others)

the following is strictly forbidden:
Defamation, abuse, harassment, threat, heinous or discriminatory propaganda against human rights, including homophobic or racist propaganda, as well as any other violation of human legal rights, including privacy rights.

This said, guys, you must be aware of one thing: many years ago, I decided to fight against any kind of discrimination. That is my personal fight, and I am very serious about this.

You can't imagine how I get when someone starts joking about handicaps, religions, color of the skin, or nationality. This is trivialization of racism, acceptation of discrimination, and worse. Just imagine kids making these jokes. Would it be funny? Should you accept them, as a parent ?

Have you ever met a black man, a jewish girl, a gay couple who explained you how they (constantly) suffer from this kind of jokes, and trivialization of discrimination ? Come on, that's not funny. Not for them. Hasn't anyone suffered from racism here ? I've got many stories in mind but I won't relate them here.

Many years ago I decided that I would never tolerate this, and intervene every time someone makes that kind of joke. You can make these jokes anywhere you want, but not on a space I created. That's it. Sorry to be annoying but this is my conviction, my fight.

Guys, please respect me, my work, and my conviction.

Thanks

Freedom of speech includes the freedom to offend people !! Does this blog advocate repression because of the convictions of 1individuals personal beliefs????  If a lot of these comments/jokes were not said 'tongue in cheek' then fair enough. There is never any intention to be spiteful or say anything with malice , every thing is said with the utmost belief that the sign of a strong character is the ability to laugh at ones self.                                                                                                   Personally , I thoroughly enjoy when someone ridicules and denigrates my country because I can see the humour in it and as a child ,I learnt that words only, can never hurt me. However , I might be a bit more mature and thick skinned than your average koala bear

Hello Moderators.
The threads I have included below appear both racially motivated and racist in nature.
It seems that the term 'foreigner' is permitted and thus keep a racist thread open.(all of the threads below are still open)

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=318093https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=370027https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=350158https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=280376https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=340674

So in EB's eternal quest for equality,anti racism and fairness,
the only people allowed to be criticized without censorship are - foreigners(Caucasian) living  in Vietnam,straight men with Vietnamese partners,Caucasian males who choose to work and stay in Vietnam.
I do not see any words/threads/references at all denigrating Indians,Nigerians,Phillipinos or Cambodians. Many of whom call Vietnam home.
Why is that?