Menu
Expat.com

LETS HAVE A LAUGH BUT NO FILTH

Last activity 09 December 2024 by Aidan in HCMC

Post new topic

goodolboy

suppose this one could be serious if not so funny or creepy



https://i.postimg.cc/TwTHq182/what-the-hell.jpg

Aidan in HCMC

@goodolboy

W! T! F! is that?

Pretty sure boxer shorts are supposed to be worn on the inside.


Mr. Grant looks dapper.

Aidan in HCMC

This man-made climate emergency has me really worried. See, the thing is, up until like 40 years ago the Earth had never seen a tornado, or a hurricane, or an earthquake, or a tsunami, or a volcanic eruption, or a mudslide, or a flood, or a really hot & humid day, or a...

goodolboy


    This man-made climate emergency has me really worried. See, the thing is, up until like 40 years ago the Earth had never seen a tornado, or a hurricane, or an earthquake, or a tsunami, or a volcanic eruption, or a mudslide, or a flood, or a really hot & humid day, or a...
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC


a man of my own convictions .....think thats the correct definition. Problem is trying to convince others!!

narcrepellant2525


    This man-made climate emergency has me really worried. See, the thing is, up until like 40 years ago the Earth had never seen a tornado, or a hurricane, or an earthquake, or a tsunami, or a volcanic eruption, or a mudslide, or a flood, or a really hot & humid day, or a...
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC


Ice age perhaps too?

Aidan in HCMC

No matter the amount of time, effort or thought they put into it,

01000001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101001 01100111 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100001 01110100 01110101 01110010 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 01101001 01110100 01111001

OceanBeach92107


    No matter the amount of time, effort or thought they put into it,
01000001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01100110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101001 01100111 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100001 01110100 01110101 01110010 01100001 01101100 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 01101001 01110100 01111001
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC


"No matter the amount of time, effort or thought they put into it, Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity"

Aidan in HCMC

Guy goes to the doctor.


Doctor checks him out and says, "You're in perfect shape! Excellent genes! How old are you?"


Guy says "I'm 66".


Doctor, "WOW! Blessed genes, for sure! So, how old was your father when he died?"


Guy says, "Who says my father's dead? My father is 84 years old! He goes skiing a few times a year, exercises a few times a week. In fact he runs our family grocery store every single day!"


Doctor says, "Wow, these genes are incredible! And how old was his father when he died?"


Guy says, "Who said his father died? His father is 105 years old, goes jogging every single day! In fact, his father is getting married next week!"


Doctor says, "Married?! Why would a man want to get married at 105?!"


Guy says, "Who says he wants to?! His mother is making him!"

Lennerd

@goodolboy


I haven't laughed as hard as I laughed about "cricket" in quite some time, maybe as long ago as watching Benny Hill some years ago.

Aidan in HCMC

Selling dog meat is gross,

selling fruits and veggies is grocer

Aidan in HCMC

My GF has now assumed control of all of our finances after

voting resulted in a 1-1 majority in her favour.

goodolboy


    My GF has now assumed control of all of our finances after
voting resulted in a 1-1 majority in her favour.
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC


Oh God please tell me...........not the secret account......right

GuestPoster327

Yes, I hope you are not talking about the cunning kit?

Aidan in HCMC

What's the difference between the Cirque du Soleil, and a brothel?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

Aidan in HCMC

My GF has now assumed control of all of our finances after voting resulted in a 1-1 majority in her favour. -@Aidan in HCMC
Oh God please tell me...........not the secret account......right 
    -@goodolboy


Too late. That's the account I was drawing from when I met her ;)

Aidan in HCMC

Text received from a long-time buddy.

I am now at 100 days sober! (not in a row or anything, just total)

Lennerd

@Aidan in HCMC


Quitting drinking is easy! I've done it hundreds of times.

Aidan in HCMC

What's the difference between an Asian and an African elephant?

One is an elephant.

Aidan in HCMC

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Aidan in HCMC

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Myself? I’ve got a Yamaha surround sound system.

Aidan in HCMC

A western lady and her husband go to hospital for her to deliver their baby. Their Vietnamese doctor says, "Congratulations! He looks just like your husband… prime minister... brother… mom… neighbour...!”

John Campbell83

@Aidan in HCMC

Hahahah

I'm having trouble writing this.

John Campbell83

@Aidan in HCMC

Yep 👍 it's new territory 😄

John Campbell83

@Aidan in HCMC

Superman didn't.

goodolboy

https://i.postimg.cc/PrcQBYFx/bad-day-1.jpg

Aidan in HCMC

If your an expat living long-term in VN and you still don't know the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist... Well, congratulations, you're doing great! Give yourself a pat on the back.

OceanBeach92107

A newbie visitor to Vietnam became very concerned when she saw four small dogs being confined to a cage with barely enough room for any of the pups to move around.


For the sake of the dogs who were confined a few streets away from where the foreigner was staying, she decided to make an anonymous "humanitarian" gift of a new cage, double the size of the cage the dogs' owner had been using.


In the middle of the night, the foreigner quietly placed the new, larger cage at the curb of the dog owner's property.


Early the next morning, the foreigner was shopping for breakfast at the local market when she was approached by the dogs' owner; obviously quite happy, smiling from ear to ear.


There are no secrets in that neighborhood, and the dogs' owner knew it was the foreigner who had gifted the cage to him.


With many hand gestures and some help from the Google Translate app, the dogs' owner expressed great appreciation for the foreigner's very thoughtful gift.


The foreigner was feeling good about the positive impact she'd had on the lives of the dogs, and decided to detour past the dog owner's house to catch a glimpse of the dogs in their new cage.


She thought they must be very happy, because the dogs were barking twice as loud as normal.


As the foreigner passed the final row of shrubs obscuring her view of the cage, she fully comprehended the dog owners joy:


The cage she'd bought was now home to eight yapping dogs...

goodolboy


    A newbie visitor to Vietnam became very concerned when she saw four small dogs being confined to a cage with barely enough room for any of the pups to move around.
For the sake of the dogs who were confined a few streets away from where the foreigner was staying, she decided to make an anonymous "humanitarian" gift of a new cage, double the size of the cage the dogs' owner had been using.

In the middle of the night, the foreigner quietly placed the new, larger cage at the curb of the dog owner's property.

Early the next morning, the foreigner was shopping for breakfast at the local market when she was approached by the dogs' owner; obviously quite happy, smiling from ear to ear.

There are no secrets in that neighborhood, and the dogs' owner knew it was the foreigner who had gifted the cage to him.

With many hand gestures and some help from the Google Translate app, the dogs' owner expressed great appreciation for the foreigner's very thoughtful gift.

The foreigner was feeling good about the positive impact she'd had on the lives of the dogs, and decided to detour past the dog owner's house to catch a glimpse of the dogs in their new cage.

She thought they must be very happy, because the dogs were barking twice as loud as normal.

As the foreigner passed the final row of shrubs obscuring her view of the cage, she fully comprehended the dog owners joy:

The cage she'd bought was now home to eight yapping dogs...
   

    -@OceanBeach92107




https://i.postimg.cc/nVvc1CY3/doggie.jpg

Aidan in HCMC

I hate when people don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”.

There stupid.

Aidan in HCMC

An attractive woman is sitting at a bar when an octogenarian gentleman sits down beside her. After a moments hesitation, he musters the courage to speak to her.............................

“So,” he says, “do I come here often?”

Travelfar

“You gotta do something,” Farmer John told

the sheriff. “Speeders are killing my chickens.”


The next day, workers erected a sign near the

farm: Slow—School Crossing.


Three days later, John called again. “That sign’s

not helping. Folks ignore it.”


So the sheriff sent out workers with a new

sign:Slow—Children at Play.


Three days later, Farmer John picked up the

phone again. “Can | make my own sign?”


The sheriff agreed. Three weeks later, he called

to check on John. “How's the new sign working out

for you?” he asked.“


Great!” the farmer replied. “Not one chicken has

been killed since I put it up.”


Thinking such an effective sign might be useful

elsewhere, the sheriff went to see it. The new

sign read: Nudist Colony—Go slow and watch for chicks.

Aidan in HCMC

The Stones. Man, I love the Stones. I can't believe they're still around after so long. I watch them whenever I can. They really know how to put on a show. I tell ya', Fred and Barney, they're the best...

goodolboy

https://i.postimg.cc/Xvc5RptQ/hearing-aid.jpg

Aidan in HCMC

Comicon Saigon has announced the unveiling of their new superhero comic series.

The new superhero's name? Vietman!

Lennerd

https://i.postimg.cc/svKSkP1w/IMG-5162.jpg

Aidan in HCMC

@Lennerd

IMG-5162.jpg

LOL!!

Lennerd

@Aidan in HCMC Life before hearing aids?


Man [visiting elderly mother]: Mom, why do you have a suppository in your ear?

Mom: Well, that would explain why I can't find my hearing aid.

Lennerd

@Aidan in HCMC


Man [in doctor's office]: Doc, I just can't believe what's happening to me! I have so much flatulence it's beyond belief.

Doctor: Are there any other symptoms?

Man: Well, it doesn't make any smell and I haven't heard any loud reports, so, no.

Doctor: Take these pills and come back in a week.


A week later. . .


Doctor: Well, how is the progress on your flatulence coming along?

Man: Oh, doc. It's much worse! The flatulence is just as bad as before only now it stinks to high heaven.

Doctor: Okay. We've got your sense of smell back, let's go to work on your hearing.

Lennerd

Two retirees meet for the first time on a beach-side park bench in Florida. They get to talking.

Man 1: How did you come to be in Florida?

Man 2: Well, I owned a conveninece store in New York. The place burned to the ground and I just took the insurance money and retired to Florida. How did you come to be in Florida?

1: That's incredible! I owned a convenience store in Chicago! We had a big flood and I just took the insurance money and retired to Florida.

2: How do you start a flood?

goodolboy

https://i.postimg.cc/bvs2TqVT/meat.jpg

Articles to help you in your expat project in Vietnam

  • Leisure in Vietnam
    Leisure in Vietnam

    If you are looking for an affordable destination with beautiful landscapes, culture, and delicious cuisine, ...

  • Sports in Vietnam
    Sports in Vietnam

    A wide range of sports and recreational activities are available to locals and expatriates in Vietnam. Gyms, ...

  • Explore Phu Quoc
    Explore Phu Quoc

    Located in the very southwest of Vietnam, Phu Quoc Island, also known as Pearl Island, forms part of the Kien ...

  • Hoi An: The Historic City
    Hoi An: The Historic City

    Located in the province of Quang Nam, a short 30km South of Da Nang, Hoi An is a very popular tourist destination ...

  • Activities in Ha Long Bay, Viet Nam
    Activities in Ha Long Bay, Viet Nam

    As a tourists’ destination, Ha Long has plenty of activities for travellers of all age groups.

  • The Vietnamese cuisine
    The Vietnamese cuisine

    If you are traveling to Vietnam, sampling all the delicious cuisine should be a top priority. Read on to discover ...

  • Sports activities in Hanoi
    Sports activities in Hanoi

    We know there's a lot of attention on the drinking culture in Hanoi, but what about the options for a healthy ...

  • Leisure activities in Ho Chi Minh City
    Leisure activities in Ho Chi Minh City

    One of the most interesting aspects of living in Ho Chi Minh City is the fact that theres never a shortage of ...

All of Vietnam's guide articles