Need advice on a girl im dating

Personally, I would get another account and pay to take her private... hahaha
At least then you could get an idea of what you're working with. See if she's a major freak, figure out many miles are on that body, etc. 😂😂😂

On the love part, I'm sure that one could fall in love with someone's personality after talking for some time even if they've never seen that person.
She claims to love you even though you've never met in person but at the same time, you've proposed to her having never met.

The meeting of family could be legit or it could be that she is trying to get you fully on the hook. Bonding with her family can make it harder for you to say no later when one of them gets hit by a meteorite and is in the hospital with no money for medicine. Hahaha....

Being on the outside looking in, I saw a few red flags as others have mentioned above already.

I believe that I would be slowing things down here until such time as you can actually meet and hang out for a while with each other. It's easy to be one thing on chats and video calls, it's quite another to be in a persons company to see how they really are.

This dude is trawling?  Up to something. what a d-ck to be so naive, asks all the questions, receives recommendations and suggestions and still continues on a blind path. Your life mate. perhaps go to another site and try out there.
I said it before "some can't see the water for the lake or ocean. Stop wasting valuable resources and move on.

Cheers, Steve.

😂😂😂 heard that Steve.

Tim_L wrote:

😂😂😂 heard that Steve.

Sad to say Tim but doubt if the OP is listening, as they say love is blind. I think enough info has been shared and one/all need to reflect somewhat.

Cheers, Steve.

Tim_L wrote:

Personally, I would get another account and pay to take her private... hahaha
At least then you could get an idea of what you're working with. See if she's a major freak, figure out many miles are on that body, etc. 😂😂😂

On the love part, I'm sure that one could fall in love with someone's personality after talking for some time even if they've never seen that person.
She claims to love you even though you've never met in person but at the same time, you've proposed to her having never met.

The meeting of family could be legit or it could be that she is trying to get you fully on the hook. Bonding with her family can make it harder for you to say no later when one of them gets hit by a meteorite and is in the hospital with no money for medicine. Hahaha....

Being on the outside looking in, I saw a few red flags as others have mentioned above already.

I believe that I would be slowing things down here until such time as you can actually meet and hang out for a while with each other. It's easy to be one thing on chats and video calls, it's quite another to be in a persons company to see how they really are.

Thanks for reply mate. Yeah that is my conclusion to slow things down until I meet her in person. Hopefully I will be able to find other major red flags, allowing me to break it off completely.

An update though I did offer to buy her a scooter and help with her studies. She replied that she wants to earn the money herself by quiting her job on cam site and find real job. She goes on saying that maybe she will be able to handle it and it's not right for her to ask for money from me. I then told her that I was testing her and she gave good answers and I apologized. She however got really really mad at me for this.

The reason why I tested her was going back a few weeks of me she asked me for money first time to help her aunt after her son and died with food. I accused her at that time too of just wanting money from  me. it turns out she was not lying about that as she actually showed me the coffin in a video call (not photo), when she went for the funeral. At that time she did not get too mad but just said that she is not like those girls who want money, the but just wants simple  life  and  i accepted  with reduced suspicion. I also didn't send any money as she didn't ask again.

This time however she got really really mad at me for testing her and even started crying, saying that I always accuse of being a gold digger and she is tired of it. She says it really hurts her feelings. She goes on explaining in more detail about the first incident of asking me for money for the aunt's funeral. Apparently it was her two friends that she lives with who took her phone and asked me for the money. I asked why she got influenced by that with the reply of " I don't know". Eventually I was going crazy myself trying to decipher this girl. Why would she let her friends do this and why is she telling me this after a few weeks. She goes on saying that don't tell her friends what she has told me (I actually do chat with one of her friends), because they will get mad. We kept chatting and the next day she said that I should break up with her. I didn't want to and felt really really bad, even kind of begging her to not do this. But I realized my honour was at stake and I did break up with her. She said that it hurts her too much that I would suspect her so much and don't trust her. She said she can't tolerate the fighting and said she wants to end it. Now we had broken up I was depressed and so was she. Even though we had broken up, on the same day she kept chatting with me and said that she doesn't mind being friends. I gave her the cold shoulder saying why would you be friends with me if you hate me. She said I should her block her then, which I couldn't bring myself to do. She kept chatting with me trying to make me laugh and smile with GIF's, but I kept saying to her to stop chatting with me. At the same time she was doing this she says she is really depressed herself and wants to die. Me being in a similar state just comforted her that we should move on and she agreed. She said she wanted to see me and set up another video call. I could barely see her in this video call as she was hiding her face. I could here some breaking sounds. It turns out she was crying really bad. She kept putting music on  and crying. This was for at least 10 or 15 mins. Eventually she said that she still really loves and was just really hurt because of me being suspicious. She has not eaten all day and was crying too. She said she forgives me and does really love me and that I should stop being suspicious. Hence we broke up and got back together on the same day. What a rollercoaster of emotions.

Now I'm not fully convinced with this girl as all the advice given above But I'm still willing to meet this girl and see if she is genuine or not. You know give her a chance. Also to this day I still have not sent her any money ever. Thanks for all the support guys really appreciate it. Any further comments or advice would be great.

Just had a flashback to 7th grade.

mugtech wrote:

Just had a flashback to 7th grade.

You know what now that I think about it. It does look very childish and prebuscent. 😂😂😂

Sal I think there has been enough talk, offers of advice and personal experiences. Personally I believe that I/others cannot make a blind man see and would now suggest that you take the plunge, spend the dollars and time meeting this fine young lady that works on a sex site, taste the dirt, get your hands dirty and all that goes with it.
You offered to buy her transport, she refused. Use that money, get off your derriere and go find out for yourself instead of dreaming, answer your own questions and with the little knowledge you may have gleaned here and possibly other sites, you may be wary but most likely not be and will succumb further.

We don't talk to your lady and only offer advice and suggestions based on your second hand and possibly bias writings here. As said Sal you need to man up and make some life defining choices. The next one will be easier and yes wiser.

BTW there is absolutely no need for a reply, pour your energy towards a life with this fine young lady or no.

Cheers, Steve.

Sal19952 wrote:

mugtech wrote:

Just had a flashback to 7th grade.

You know what now that I think about it. It does look very childish and prebuscent. 😂😂😂

!00% agree with your observation. Now act on it.

Cheers, Steve.

Jesus christ kid... what is wrong with your brain???? Go to your local brothel and spend your money there ...your not even close to being ready to find a woman. The cam girl will take you for every cent you have and never look back. Good god they don't teach ANY critical thinking today....

Greyone48 wrote:

Jesus christ kid... what is wrong with your brain???? Go to your local brothel and spend your money there ...your not even close to being ready to find a woman. The cam girl will take you for every cent you have and never look back. Good god they don't teach ANY critical thinking today....

Hi Greyone, Whilst I now at 59 hear exactly what you are saying, at 23 I would probably hear you but in one ear and out the other. Puppy love? Lust? Perhaps a plethora of naivety and hormones? Only Sal can make his way in life, he is an adult, can drink, vote, drive, hold a job, budget for the life ahead/future.
We all made bad decisions when we were young, I certainly made plenty but hey they were not life changing and were easily overcome/passed by. I certainly learnt by my mistakes but as we all do made my own, manned up and moved forward.

Sal has lots of info. Though only opinions and advice will eventually make their way to the higher brain.
Gods speed the OP.

Cheers, Steve.

Sal
I have spent much time in Ph over the last 15 years and i know things can go real bad very quick even with nice girls which this girl is not. Bottom line you sound like you can not afford a Filipino girlfriend/wife taking into consideration visa fees/wedding/airfares and family expectations. You are only 23 years old rather than offering marriage to a sex worker have a holiday in Philippines, stay away from places like Manila. Go to Puerto Princessa, Palawan, Dumaguette or even Boracy when it opens again. As a father of kids older than you my advice is run away run away. Go for a holiday and arrange to meet some ladies using the relationship site "Date in Asia" be warned there is still scammers on this site.

agree

Hhmmm, this post has got me reminiscing and I have to ad for Sal's benefit (perhaps a learning curve). (for Sal), (perhaps for many especially myself, value where you are now).
When I was 23 (your age Sal) I had been running my Plumbing business for 2 years, had 2 employees rented my own house and played, enjoyed life, yes plenty of sex. At 25 I was married to a beautiful woman, 2 children came some years later, very successful business, 16 to 17 odd employees, plenty of money,,,,,,,, 22 years on it went to sh1t. Life promises nothing, we make our own way and definitely deal with the consequences and then some. Learn we all do, some tread the same waters while others move on. I just hope that my last 8 years in commitment to one person will see me through. My confidence is high and I move forward in our relationship very differently than I did the first time around, 24 years all up. Some learn quickly, I learnt after my first marriage then started over with very different perspectives and only wished that I had listened to my inner self as well as advice given by others to have made different choices, but hey we had a great 20 odd years together, maybe no different to the road I follow now. Some years on. May say Sal you are going down the same path? Don't worry sport plenty of others dive in also.

Cheers, Steve.

All true but somebody needs to call it as it is. Had you or I had someone stick their nose in at just the right moment maybe mistake 302 wouldn't have happened...then again maybe it would. Still I hate how gullible youth can be.

dont send any money she be making good money from camming i meet some girls making 100k a month and have many foreigner bfs just a heads up

STAY AWAY!!!! Your crazy if you follow through with that nonsense. Do not believe in ANY of that crap.

I shared a taxi with an Australian chap in Manila who was returning to Angeles. He had married a Filipina and she had gone to live with him in Australia. Apparently this lady disappeared with most of his savings???   Some thing he said that has stayed in my mind from all those years back.                     
"You can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl"

All ****! Trolling...

All you need to know is what you said in the first line of your message, "met her on a sex cam". Run, don't walk!

When they ask for money it NEVER is real!

Even with all this good advice there will be old expats who are entranced by these pretty girls and fall at their feet believing all they hear from their lips over lipstick. Can't blame the girls from trying and  its mouth they are feeding and we are the daft old sods supporting them. Never too old to fall in love.

Peter Clark wrote:

Even with all this good advice there will be old expats who are entranced by these pretty girls and fall at their feet believing all they hear from their lips over lipstick. Can't blame the girls from trying and  its mouth they are feeding and we are the daft old sods supporting them. Never too old to fall in love.

Agree, but 23 is not that old.

I see a lot..advising this young lad to make a trip to Philippines to visit the girl as knowing her personally will determine a lot. I will say please don't!

Yes, by all means do come and get to know the culture and way of life among others, but to really settle for a girl and marry her..I did say stay with her for at least 3 years before jumping to that conclusion and anything associated with love.

Trust me...when a Filipina is playing you...it will be difficult to find out. She will be mostly around you...but the 20 minutes she is not with you...can be with someone else.  Most are good but the lot have ways to manipulate you in ways you thought you could not be.

I have a friend who actually meet his "love of his life"  here. She had 2 face book accounts with family and friends on both, but for different lovers. It took my friend 4 years to know he was being played. They stayed and lived in the same place, but often she did leave for "family visits" or "friends outing" etc. only to go spend time with her other Filipino boyfriend with promises of soon getting what they want so she can leave the foreigner permanently.

So mostly i did say family and friends do know what is going on, but won't mind so far as their daughter or friend is having fun and bringing the money.

A point am making is that, trust over here is a high commodity you should seek. You might come and know her friends, family, colleagues etc and feel like you know everything about her. But the truth is you don't. Live with her for sometime and get to know the "REAL" her.

As most have advice...love is sweet here but always prepare for the "End Game" .

Ah yes the end game,,,,, oops too late.
"This young lad is 23." Naive perhaps? Perhaps not as Sal obviously has the nouse to seek advice and react somewhat calmly, perhaps a little too calmly?
Only my observation but time for Sal to grab the bull by the horns or simply walk away with a lesson in hand,,,,,,, as we all have done

Back to the end game, aside from the financial destitution one also goes through the emotional turmoil and hurdles, coming out at the other end with what? Freedom? Was it worth it?
Most, many escape situations such as Sal's by listening to advice by friends/or warning bells relatively unscathed, some not.
I would ask Sal to consult his parents and/or Peers before an impersonal expat site as these people/family know him far better than we do, Sal already has our pluses and minuses and I will ad has been very quiet for 3 or 4 days, perhaps his last post was ringing of the bells.
Good luck with your future Sal.

Cheers, Steve.

flex14 wrote:

I see a lot..advising this young lad to make a trip to Philippines to visit the girl as knowing her personally will determine a lot. I will say please don't!

Yes, by all means do come and get to know the culture and way of life among others, but to really settle for a girl and marry her..I did say stay with her for at least 3 years before jumping to that conclusion and anything associated with love.

Trust me...when a Filipina is playing you...it will be difficult to find out. She will be mostly around you...but the 20 minutes she is not with you...can be with someone else.  Most are good but the lot have ways to manipulate you in ways you thought you could not be.

I have a friend who actually meet his "love of his life"  here. She had 2 face book accounts with family and friends on both, but for different lovers. It took my friend 4 years to know he was being played. They stayed and lived in the same place, but often she did leave for "family visits" or "friends outing" etc. only to go spend time with her other Filipino boyfriend with promises of soon getting what they want so she can leave the foreigner permanently.

So mostly i did say family and friends do know what is going on, but won't mind so far as their daughter or friend is having fun and bringing the money.

A point am making is that, trust over here is a high commodity you should seek. You might come and know her friends, family, colleagues etc and feel like you know everything about her. But the truth is you don't. Live with her for sometime and get to know the "REAL" her.

As most have advice...love is sweet here but always prepare for the "End Game" .

Thanks for your reply mate

Yes I take your advice of maybe not visiting her just yet, but learn more about the culture of the Philippines. I am doing that right now through videos as it's much cheaper for me rather than going there. When I do I have enough dough I would visit there in person and see for myself.

I do feel bad for your friend. Yes she also has two accounts. She told me from day one of adding me that she has her ex added on her other FB account. she added me to both her accounts. Also she has many guys on her FB account, all her friends from the province as she says. Her ex however she said she never met him and thought he was a stranger and a guy who just wanted to meet her for sex. Anyway I confronted her on her having so many guys on her FB account, in which she replies by saying that if I want she will delete her account for me and make a new one. I obviously said no, but she also posted a pic of me on her main Facebook account and declared that I'm her bf so that everyone can see this. What can I take from this?

Thanks

bigpearl wrote:

Ah yes the end game,,,,, oops too late.
"This young lad is 23." Naive perhaps? Perhaps not as Sal obviously has the nouse to seek advice and react somewhat calmly, perhaps a little too calmly?
Only my observation but time for Sal to grab the bull by the horns or simply walk away with a lesson in hand,,,,,,, as we all have done

Back to the end game, aside from the financial destitution one also goes through the emotional turmoil and hurdles, coming out at the other end with what? Freedom? Was it worth it?
Most, many escape situations such as Sal's by listening to advice by friends/or warning bells relatively unscathed, some not.
I would ask Sal to consult his parents and/or Peers before an impersonal expat site as these people/family know him far better than we do, Sal already has our pluses and minuses and I will ad has been very quiet for 3 or 4 days, perhaps his last post was ringing of the bells.
Good luck with your future Sal.

Cheers, Steve.

Thanks Steve

Yes I am taking all the advice I can from my family and friends close to me who know me well. At the same time I'm trying to take advice from people who live in Philippines and are aware of the culture and types of people there. Yes I haven't replied for last few days been busy with work. Sorry about that

Thanks

@Sal, how can she says that you are her boyfriend when she has never met you !!! Everything is in the virtual world ! Virtual world equals virtual loyalty 

Hi. I'm new to this site and have a question.
I have met a wonderful woman in the Philippines and we have been dating for one and a half years. I'm planning to move over in a few months. I'm from South Africa and I need to know what requirements I will need to marry in the Philippines. And happy new year to all.

Kind regards
Levy

Hi,

Have you met this woman in person?  Personally, with all of the scammers I have encountered on DIA and FC in the 2 months I have been on them, even the ones who seem legit I am taking with a grain of salt.

I will be flying to Cebu January 16, and am supposed to be meeting a Pinay for the Sinulog Festival.  I am just reluctant to narrow  prospects down to just one before meeting personally.  I have met women before who sent me gorgeous photos, but look much different when actually seeing them in person.

Good luck.

Hi
I haven't met her in person but we have been chatting on live stream and texting every day for 18 months now. She hasn't hidden anything from me and I know everything from her. I'm 100% confident in our relationship.  All I need is the requirements for me to marry her in Philippines.  I'll appreciate if you can give me any advice.
Thanks

The best advice you will get all day....DON'T NEVER MARRY A FILIPINA.

Munchie wrote:

The best advice you will get all day....DON'T NEVER MARRY A FILIPINA.

I'm pretty sure those in good marriages to people of that nationality would disagree with you.
Nationality and race have little to do with a good marriage, only a duff partner - commonly those who marry the wrong person rather than the person they marry.
If the case of men, that's usually those stupid enough to go for lust and/or an apparently cheap prostitute on a long term contract the fool in question assumes is a marriage.

Munchie wrote:

The best advice you will get all day....DON'T NEVER MARRY A FILIPINA.

So you think a double negative adds emphasis?  Why do you assume every relationship will be as bad as yours?

What ??? Hey Munchie....There are so many things wrong with your statement, I wouldn't know where to begin !  First of all, what kind of English is “Don't never”? And really?....NEVER marry a Filipina?? What's wrong with you?  I'm married to a Filipina for 35 years who is an intensive care and open heart nurse. She is the best thing to ever happen to me. If you had bad luck, then that's your problem. There are millions of happy marriages with foreigners married to Filipinas.

Many red flags here. But she can be as you asking "is she genuine?"...

The pattern is that in the beginning they don't ask for anything just to build up trust. Making impression that they somehow manage to live. For then all the sudden someone in near family get sick or die. And don't have money for hospital, medical bills or travelling expenses.

You can afford a few k PHP before you meet her, but tell her you will visit her as soon as possible.

"However despite all this do you reckon she could still be lying about not having another boyfriend"

Absolutely! 

Ask yourself, with all the questions and doubts you have about the situation, is that a good basis for a long term relationship?

My answer would be a resounding NO WAY!

But maybe you are different and don't mind building on such a shaky foundation.  Just remember, houses built on shaky foundations usually collapse!

FYI: My wife is Filipino.  And we know of a guy with almost the exact same story.  We warned him, but he was certain, because she told him she loved him, he knew better, blah, blah, blah.  He is still depressed, since it all collapsed.

Do me a favor, go back and read everything you have said in these threads and everything everyone else has said, but from the perspective of you answering you, what would you tell this guy if you are answering the same questions.

Ask yourself objectively what YOU would tell this guy and ask yourself if this guy is building on a solid foundation?

I think I can guess your answer.  But you really should seriously conduct this exercise if you are serious about your future!

Or take it from the perspective of a job interview.  If you were interviewing someone for the position of your long term girlfriend, would she pass the interview?  Go back and look at all the things you have said and others and ask is this a good candidate for the position?  Forget the hormones and get a grip on reality!

Hope that helps!

PS, someone mentioned it, but I will add.  My niece, (Filipino) met a guy online, (Not a sex worker), she got another account on the same dating site and approached him.  Yep you guessed it, she poising as another women, got the same lines from the guy.

She got a real quick grip on reality! 

She did find someone better (also not a sex worker) and has been married and living in Australia and they have a baby girl!

Just think it through.  In the future do you want to be able to say, my girl was a sex worker when I found her?

Wrong!

If there is anything resembling true love then you are literally the one in a million and should have played the lottery where your chances of the big win are better.  There are way to many very nice very sweet  very honest ladies that would want to spend time getting to know you that are not sex workers experienced in manipulating men.  I live here.  You are dealing with someone from a desperately poor background that is more animal than human.  Obviously morals of a politician or lawter with ethics to match.