Marrying a Dominican woman

Tomas Cabrera wrote:

Stilzz, just stay true to her & don't bother even looking at other women.
The Ladies on this island are EXTREMELY jealous.
She will treat you like the King you are if you do this.
Tom.

Thanks Tom that is some good insight. She is very jealous as well. That was here first command was she didn't want to meet a lot of women. I think that's how she said it. If we both keep our word nothing will stop. Perfect world scenario. In that economy why play by the rules. I want to live there or at least get a condo or something. Live in both places the tickets are so cheap. I don't have a lot of money but it gives me a goal to achieve.   She found a good man. I hope she that good girl and everthying will be fine.

Stillz, just what every easy mark said...... she's different.......she really loves me, etc.

I sit here checking out all the comments thinking, man, I lucked in. I had a "safety" right from the get go. Introduced to my now wife via her sister who I met while working security in the early spring at a plant I went to for a couple of weeks, my wife is very frugal,so much so that I insist what I buy is not an issue, she is very security conscious - too much so that it is taking a bit to let her learn and understand I will not live by fearing for what might happen and much more. Being as she has a severe hearing problem due an accident age age 3, and I have two hearing aids as a result of military service, we get along outstanding and adore each other.  Of course things are different here in Moca (no tourists) but people are people and has been stated here and elsewhere, treat them right and they treat you right. Same goes for relationships. It all works out. Gotta run - going for a walk around the neighbourhood - wonder how many more relatives I will meet this time...

thecolonel wrote:

Stillz, just what every easy mark said...... she's different.......she really loves me, etc.

Yeah Almost like a video game. I am making progress with the things I need to take care of in my life to prepare for any relationship. My backup plan if this falls through is go visit my friends in various countries down there and just regroup focus business have a good time. These 4 I met on the site are very genuine don't ask for money and don't lie. I think my current girl is better. If we marry not sure how to handle the friendships. But if we don't I will focus my friendships and build and grow from there
That will be fun visiting colombia, costa Rica, Argentina, peru. I'll get over it. I am always gaining even if I am losing.

2VPsoldier wrote:

I sit here checking out all the comments thinking, man, I lucked in. I had a "safety" right from the get go. Introduced to my now wife via her sister who I met while working security in the early spring at a plant I went to for a couple of weeks, my wife is very frugal,so much so that I insist what I buy is not an issue, she is very security conscious - too much so that it is taking a bit to let her learn and understand I will not live by fearing for what might happen and much more. Being as she has a severe hearing problem due an accident age age 3, and I have two hearing aids as a result of military service, we get along outstanding and adore each other.  Of course things are different here in Moca (no tourists) but people are people and has been stated here and elsewhere, treat them right and they treat you right. Same goes for relationships. It all works out. Gotta run - going for a walk around the neighbourhood - wonder how many more relatives I will meet this time...

Second time hearing  that statement treat them right they treat you right. It is hard to notice what's going on all the time if this is your first rodeo.  The scheme is pretty elaborate if it is one
I thought it could be a cultural different even though I'm black. I notice that she likes everything to be positive 'No problems' as so not worry about my concerns or questioning. So either that's cultural, avoiding the obvious,  Language barrier. This the challenge. This chick told me a long time ago if you look for deception you will find it. Then what are  Going to do. Just walk away. Would you try to convert them. I guess most people just walk away. It's hard to walk away from a beautiful woman telling you how much she loves you.  I haven't gotten there yet. What I think I'm gonna ride this out the unless I  see some super super super major red flags. If the woman has good intent I will be blessed.  We  dig each other. But Oscarphobia still lurks. The curtain will get pulled back soon enough. Obstacles I feel will be the big red flags

CRASH< BANG< BOOM< a Tyson left hook to the liver. over the Falls in a barrel!  Jesus Christ, where did you find a jock strap for a woman,?  That word .... COMMAND ...says it all,  who has the balls...    May you find happiness with her. I would have to truly believe that a person was evil before I would wish this on a good man.

It doesn't take an axe to fell a tree.  Watch a beaver gnawing slowly away until it falls so that it can fill its' larder.    Slooowly gnawing away.........

You never ever know "for sure" who is sincere!!!

That does take a bit of time Planner.
It took about 1 year to see Catalina is sincere!
Which took 2, maybe 3 visits.
8 years later, including 4 of married, we are great.
Tom

It sure does and that is time together, not  2 weeks now,  3 weeks in  5 months more etc etc.  You need time TOGETHER to figure this out.

Day in, day out living together for  extended periods of time for "the truth  will out". ( thanks again Willy).  The strongest iron can be shaped by fire and steel. The web is spun, who will be the one consumed?   Tread lightly me lad, the sod is soft, the ground is deep. the bones turn to peat. Doomed to repeat the sins of the past, go quickly, go fast the other way, do not stay ,do not play.       The Tuba has once again farted!

Yes time will tell

The ninth inning is finished, I'm taking my ball & bat and going home.

I'm always going to be direct in my posts.  I may lack tact. Don't waste your time on the dating sites.  Before I moved here i was on a Dominican dating site.  I spoke with many women who quickly fell in love with me.  They would also quickly tell me about every financial problem they were having, in an effort to get me to send money. It seemed like everyone had a sick child, cousin, mother father, uncle, or grandmother.  You would be surprised how many of their grandparents suddenly died,  and they needed money for a funeral or flowers. The biggest reason i was given was their baby needed milk or food.  I'm a compassionate man,  but I would be poor sending money to every woman who asked.  The women who post on the dating sites are mostly looking for money. They believe most of the men on the sites,  are only looking for sex.
I'm kind of mean to the women on those sites.  As soon as one asked me for money I would say send me nude pics. If she sent pics i would stop chatting with her. That was an indication to me that she didn't respect herself. If she would send nudes to me,  she would send them to anyone.  The ones who felt indignity I would say,  that's how I feel when you ask me,  a stranger to send you money
Here is my suggestion for you.  If you are looking for a Dominican woman,  actually come here to meet one. Or take a trip top NYC, Washington Heights neighborhood,  and find one,  fresh from the island,  and hasn't been Americanized.  Don't waste your time or money on dating sites. There are many women here who work and are looking for a good man.  I will reiterate from a prior posting,  that the women here expect a man to financially support them. But you would be foolish to financially support a woman you have not met and spent a lot of time with. I met my girlfriend at the local grocery store. She has her passport, had a visa,  and had visited the United States,  but wanted to return home.  It is easy to find a good woman here,  but you have to actually be here.

JulianTorrez wrote:

I'm always going to be direct in my posts.  I may lack tact. Don't waste your time on the dating sites.  Before I moved here i was on a Dominican dating site.  I spoke with many women who quickly fell in love with me.  They would also quickly tell me about every financial problem they were having, in an effort to get me to send money. It seemed like everyone had a sick child, cousin, mother father, uncle, or grandmother.  You would be surprised how many of their grandparents suddenly died,  and they needed money for a funeral or flowers. The biggest reason i was given was their baby needed milk or food.  I'm a compassionate man,  but I would be poor sending money to every woman who asked.  The women who post on the dating sites are mostly looking for money. They believe most of the men on the sites,  are only looking for sex.
I'm kind of mean to the women on those sites.  As soon as one asked me for money I would say send me nude pics. If she sent pics i would stop chatting with her. That was an indication to me that she didn't respect herself. If she would send nudes to me,  she would send them to anyone.  The ones who felt indignity I would say,  that's how I feel when you ask me,  a stranger to send you money
Here is my suggestion for you.  If you are looking for a Dominican woman,  actually come here to meet one. Or take a trip top NYC, Washington Heights neighborhood,  and find one,  fresh from the island,  and hasn't been Americanized.  Don't waste your time or money on dating sites. There are many women here who work and are looking for a good man.  I will reiterate from a prior posting,  that the women here expect a man to financially support them. But you would be foolish to financially support a woman you have not met and spent a lot of time with. I met my girlfriend at the local grocery store. She has her passport, had a visa,  and had visited the United States,  but wanted to return home.  It is easy to find a good woman here,  but you have to actually be here.

Thank you for your post.  All valid points. I am not in a position to cut her off just yet. I am listening to you and everyone response. I like to here the stories because it may help others as well. My experience has been on the dating site was once I found out about the money thing I set out to meet as many people as possible. So many scams on the dating site it is ridiculous. I have over 100 whatsapp numbers. Out of those are many catfish, people who want me to pay to see them nude, people who just want money, tons of sick people, people suffering through the Venezuela crisis etc... I have no interest in American women. Men have dogged them out for so long that they have returned with a vengeance. I will be frank on this. I'd rather send money to a 3rd world country 200 bucks a month which is less than what a shitty attorney makes an hour, with the hopes of that going to their family some kind of way. Than to take a woman on a date to pappadeux with drinks and movie and $300 on one date and potentially get no ***. 

I  have about 5 backup friends. I communicate with them to help past the time.  I hired a friend who escaped Venezuela to Argentina who was basically homeless with her child. She was willing to work for food. A lot of people would have thought she was a scam. But I opened my heart to her. Now we have a small translation business going. My other friend escaped Venezuela to Colombia they tried to rape her. She never asks for money. Leaving a nice house in Venezuela to sleep on a mat. I'm a
trying to be a supported friend. And two other friends  that are just lonely that are just pen pals. I now have a reason to visit these countries. 

I think there are some cultural difference. I think in my case what I sent is very little. I hope she is getting people to send money to her through whatsapp. Work your jelly. My fear is this could be 100% game and she has no feelings for me what's so ever and no intentions of coming here. I bracing my self for that. I do this by balancing my life out so if she flakes I would be in a better position then I was before I met her. Loving yourself is better than loving somebody else. You Can not replace yourself.

So sending money to a 3rd world country is not an issue. In the DR there is a pharmacy on every corner like there are liquor stores on every corner in the hood up here. So they get sick. You can't drink the water. I started to get sick when I was there after only 3 days. You can't use bottled water for everything.

So I would hope that she found a meal ticket out of there and as long as I don't ruffle the feathers we should be together. It seems like they will let you play yourself out. I don't know what the future holds but 200 bucks a month investment is not too bad. I will show up on her *** if something with us changes. We gamble more on Vegas and lose in a couple of hours. And go back to lose more and it was fun.

So I think they all need money for many different reasons. My fiance works 6 days a week sometimes 7. So she can knaw all she wants but she is on a flat rate plan. I'm not ruffling feathers by wondering if she got a chulo, or people sending here money or even sleeping with people for it. I just want our relationship to be real. She said she will never leave me so let's see. If she does oh well. A,scammer cannot hurt your feelings. I would be excited because my doors have been opened.
So I will take this risk. Since its my first rodeo and will continue to report my findings here. The visa process if we pass the first time I will say what I did. And if she turns out to be true or false at the end,of the day.

I don't like women with money anyway. They think they are better than you and live their life around there possessions. I don't like unemployed women either. Because you know they have to hustle to make ends meet. But if you are with a working woman who is supporting the whole family and works at a pharmacy and makes barely enough money and they are a single mother. Of course they are going to want a,man to help financially support them and being from the state's this one wants to come here so she can work to send money back there. So I'm her meal ticket. I don't blame them. If it is real. That's why I ask how can you tell if they are lying or not. So what I am doing is notb worrying about what she is doing so much and concentrating my energy elsewhere to better my life. There are billions of women in this world. She is replaceable. I just want her. This could potentially be special.
So for all those who think I am a s****r, head in my a***ss etc... I have a backup plan. As long as I don't p***her off by keep suspecting her nothing should change. If she has a change of heart for no reason then I know it was ***. I met her we had sex but to my understanding sex is like a sport down there.  I'll be fine either way. But I will certainly let every one know what happens
Thanks

Julien good post. 

Wow.  That's  all I have to say on this at the moment.

Planner....my exact words. Starting to wonder who the real scammer is.

This is my final post on this subject. You are looking to rescue or buy someone. Your posts screams of it. Your posts actually makes me concerned for any woman you get back to the United States with you. How would you treat her? Would you use it against her that you rescued her from her 3rd world country? I earn a very good living, and I'm not willing to "gamble" my money away,  in hopes that a woman will be with me.  There is also nothing wrong with American women. I was happily married for 20 years to an amazing woman,  who did just as much for me as my girlfriend does now. I messed up that relationship, by sleeping around,  and I was doing it in the United States. What I and many of the other posters are saying is be careful, keep your eyes opened,  and your wallet closed. If you truly believe sex is just a sport here,  you clearly are not looking for good woman or partner.  In every post on this subject I point out that a person can definitely find a good woman or a good man here. As I have met many happily married Dominican couples. It is a bit more difficult for a foreigner because the scam artists will target you. As will the prostitutes because many foreign men come here looking for "ass", as you put it.  But if you spend some time here and get to know the people,  you will find they are welcoming and genuine. You will also find that the educated, working, women here won't think they are better than  you.

ChristieE wrote:

Planner....my exact words. Starting to wonder who the real scammer is.

Really? Keep wondering. I am just curious since 90% of the information I have seen here and YouTube that dating a woman from the DR or using dating sites or even visiting as a tourist are all bad stories due them being scammed. So how can an inquiry make you wonder... I am looking for positive information. And apparently it is the same story everywhere. I totally appreciate everyone comments and I hearing and listening. Thank you. There are no ulterior motives on my end only seeking a normal life with a good woman 100% pure.

Good that you have an open mind,  stay that way honey.   Lots of good stories around as well.

And on that note I think this has run its course.

Not yet Planner, It's just getting interesting!
These two "nice guys" are both good, just in different ways.
I do put Julian first though.
Happy married in Cabrera, I am.
Tom.

Not about first or second. The topic is covered.  When we start seeing some name calling or insults I will shut it down.

Not a native born or raised in the U.S.  Stilted thought progressions, syntax unaligned with normal usage & the whip-sawing of faith then doubt lead me to believe it impossible that ANY relationship can be made. Yellow Brick Road? It is a water slide to hell.  Dare I say good luck to you in your dubious search for a 100% truthful woman,  Thank you Planner, nuff said.

Topic has been covered. Thanks for the answers to my two questions.  This is  a learning experience. If the opportunity presents itself to bow out gracefully I will. I havent gotten to the stage yet. This can happen to anyone. You just have to have  boundaries and learn from your mistakes. So I invite the challenge. Not harming me now. Thanks

You are very welcome!

JulianTorrez wrote:

This is my final post on this subject. You are looking to rescue or buy someone. Your posts screams of it. Your posts actually makes me concerned for any woman you get back to the United States with you. How would you treat her? Would you use it against her that you rescued her from her 3rd world country? I earn a very good living, and I'm not willing to "gamble" my money away,  in hopes that a woman will be with me.  There is also nothing wrong with American women. I was happily married for 20 years to an amazing woman,  who did just as much for me as my girlfriend does now. I messed up that relationship, by sleeping around,  and I was doing it in the United States. What I and many of the other posters are saying is be careful, keep your eyes opened,  and your wallet closed. If you truly believe sex is just a sport here,  you clearly are not looking for good woman or partner.  In every post on this subject I point out that a person can definitely find a good woman or a good man here. As I have met many happily married Dominican couples. It is a bit more difficult for a foreigner because the scam artists will target you. As will the prostitutes because many foreign men come here looking for "ass", as you put it.  But if you spend some time here and get to know the people,  you will find they are welcoming and genuine. You will also find that the educated, working, women here won't think they are better than  you.

Thank you for your post. I am not trying to rescue anyone. It was a typo. Sex as a sport was something someone else said on this site. I have no interest in cheating lying or being scammed. I am a genuine good person which unfortunately makes me a target. I don't lie so i attract liars. The there are two fortunate things that I can get out of this. If she is not taking for a pendejo then I we will live happily ever after. If she is taking me for a sucker than at least there are several other options out there.  I feel like I am doing the right thing and no matter the outcome I don't think i will be punished for it. I just may not get what I want but what I need instead. And their situation will remain stagnant. I will grow from this no matter what happens. I saw several potentials when visiting SD. If things don't turnout I will spend some time in SD. Thanks

You have once again proven that Julian has been correct all along. I fear that you have never had been loved or learned to love. You certainly don't love this woman.  If you did love her, you would not have back up options. I too, will comment no further. Futility is not on my bucket list.