Marrying a Dominican woman

Greetings Stilzz. In order to give you an honest response, many will ask you the following.
1 How long have you been dating?
2 What is the age difference?
3 Where did you meet
4 Do you speak Spanish?
5 Have you been to DR before?
6 Did you ask for money or did you volunteer to send money?
7 Why not apply for a Fiancee 90 day visa instead of getting married?
8 Who does she live with?
9 Does she have any kids?
10 What does she do for a living?
The answers you provide will perhaps paint a clearer picture. The one thing you wrote in your post which caught my attention is the word rescue. That one word does concern me a bit, because if you think rescuing her will buy you a lifetime of gratitude, then you are setting yourself up for dissapointment. One last question. How long ago was your divorce? That is a very important question since after a divorce, we tend to go through a series of emotions which makes us quite vulnerable to situations which might be regrettable in the future.  Upon ansewering those questions, you will get sound advice on the blog. Keep your eyes, and ears open, but mostly your mind.

Thank you i don't think i said rescue. I did not mean that if I did. I don't think she needs rescuing just support if they are single mother and father is not doing what he is suppose to do. I think she is a wonderful person. I just get discouraged because 90% of the info out there says bad things. I just want to be able to pass this thing the 1st time. I don't even want to question her. I am doing it now. I will see this through and hopefully i found the diamond in the rough.  I will answer you shortly.

Stilzz, good thing you said you dont want to question her, because you wouldnt be able to depend on the answer being true.  They'll say anything they think is to their benefit, and what they think you want to hear.  Also, when locals say .....casado...married....mostly it doesnt mean really married, but just shacked up.   Youre falling for every red flag out there, by what youve said .

My error amigo...The word you used was saved, which implies that someone would need to rescue her if she wants to be saved.  Take your time Stilzz on getting back to us on the answers. You are correct in the matter of relationships between foreigners and Dominicans having a bad rap. It does not mean that has to be your case, but many of us have experienced, read, and seen both the good and bad stories which have taken place.  Success in an intercultural relationship depends on many factors, such as language, age, educational level, common interests, etc.  There are many wonderful men and women in DR, but in order to find one you will pretty much have to be familiar with the culture and at least speak the language for starters.  If you are living there or at least spending some considerable amount of time becoming familiar with the culture and the object of your affection, then your chances of success would increase, but casual visits would never quite give you a complete picture. In all honesty you would have to spend time with her and her family, including friends to get an idea of what she is like, and all that will take time.  Many Dominicans want to leave the Island, but upon arriving at their new destination, the quickly realize how much they miss the organized chaos of back home and no matter how much you try, there is not much you can do to replace that.  Will you be living in the U.S. in an area with other latinos, where she would be able to have access to entertainment, hair salons, latin food, latin culture, etc? Will she be working or staying at home while you work? All these are questions you must consider before bringing her here, since she will probably want to have access to some of the things I mentioned. I will await your answers in oder to give you an informed opinion. Best advice for now, take it slow.

Hi
My advice to you . Be careful look for any signs that are off because  chances are there is something not right ,they are red flags .. I too thought I found a wonderful partner .But unfortunately he only played the role very well until he got here in my country . But saying that there are good people in the DR. I did find one of them after all . Just be careful think things through . Hope everything works out
for you..

IKR but hey im sure I will gain from this, If she left now I would be hurt so might as well see it through. I dont want to jeopardize it before finding out the truth. Just learning spanish will be a great benefit. If this doesnt happen many doors would have been opened. Either way the outcome will be good. I always look on the bright side. As long as I am not doing anything shifty at the end of the day I will be fine. Turning a blind eye lol. Thanks for your response.

Stilzz - plenty of good questions to verify for yourself. How do you know if they are telling you the truth? Obviously that can be hard because they maybe very good actors with other future plans in mind or what you see and feel is the real thing. I met and am now married to lady from Moca. Her sister who lives and works  Alberta Canada where I am from introduced us and after several months "speaking" I knew there was feelings there. Even when I advised she might just wish to be friends because she is 19 years younger than me, the response was we would not know what was real until we met in person. I really lucked out in finding not just the lady, but the being welcomed into the ENTIRE family. Now have three more grandkids, step daughter and son-in-law and many great inlaws. Insecurity and mistrust will kill happiness. If your gut and your heart feel good, trust your instincts. Our marriage was just a civil one to facilitate the residency process because I have elected to live here. The formal wedding in the eyes of God and with our friends and family is not until late August. People have had bad experiences. No doubt the tourist regions have more than their share  of ladies (and men) looking for a better life via hooking a foreigner. I am certainly blessed - good luck with your future.....it can all be worth it!

Connie Hackett Polemis wrote:

Hi
My advice to you . Be careful look for any signs that are off because  chances are there is something not right ,they are red flags .. I too thought I found a wonderful partner .But unfortunately he only played the role very well until he got here in my country . But saying that there are good people in the DR. I did find one of them after all . Just be careful think things through . Hope everything works out
for you..

I agree at the end of the day you found the right one. This is my first rodeo. Sort of. I have had experiences weeding through the estafa on the dating sites. She is the type of person I want. I think thee are some cultural differences which cause them to act a certain way and me thinking it is something else. I will have patience. She motivates me. So I am getting benefit from this even though I may get the whole enchilada.

Stilzz, you keep showing more and more, the red flags from your side, profound naivete.

2VPsoldier wrote:

Stilzz - plenty of good questions to verify for yourself. How do you know if they are telling you the truth? Obviously that can be hard because they maybe very good actors with other future plans in mind or what you see and feel is the real thing. I met and am now married to lady from Moca. Her sister who lives and works  Alberta Canada where I am from introduced us and after several months "speaking" I knew there was feelings there. Even when I advised she might just wish to be friends because she is 19 years younger than me, the response was we would not know what was real until we met in person. I really lucked out in finding not just the lady, but the being welcomed into the ENTIRE family. Now have three more grandkids, step daughter and son-in-law and many great inlaws. Insecurity and mistrust will kill happiness. If your gut and your heart feel good, trust your instincts. Our marriage was just a civil one to facilitate the residency process because I have elected to live here. The formal wedding in the eyes of God and with our friends and family is not until late August. People have had bad experiences. No doubt the tourist regions have more than their share  of ladies (and men) looking for a better life via hooking a foreigner. I am certainly blessed - good luck with your future.....it can all be worth it!

Thank you. I feel the same way. I have been to her house. Love the family they seem genuine and loving.  I probably have baggage when it comes to trust anyway. I dont trust anyone they always want you to trust them. She wants to live here. I should be done with this divorce soon. We will then begin the visa process. I really want to leave it upto a immigration attorney where we both can be involved. I cant imagine waiting a whole nother year. And get denied again. This I think will make me lose confidence.

thecolonel wrote:

Stilzz, you keep showing more and more, the red flags from your side, profound naivete.

Yup not sure what to do. I am happy with her. I guess I have to find out the hard way.

Sounds like you have made up your mind already, so in that case, I wish you well and please return and keep us posted on how things turn out. To answer your original question, it sounds like you are looking for the steps required to bring your girl to the U.S. I believe there is a thread on this site regarding those steps, but I will provide you with this link to a site which specializes in that matter. Best of luck in your quest

http://dominicanstotheusa.com/forum/ind … 702df&

PARADISECAT wrote:

Greetings Stilzz. In order to give you an honest response, many will ask you the following.
1 How long have you been dating?
2 What is the age difference?
3 Where did you meet
4 Do you speak Spanish?
5 Have you been to DR before?
6 Did you ask for money or did you volunteer to send money?
7 Why not apply for a Fiancee 90 day visa instead of getting married?
8 Who does she live with?
9 Does she have any kids?
10 What does she do for a living?
The answers you provide will perhaps paint a clearer picture. The one thing you wrote in your post which caught my attention is the word rescue. That one word does concern me a bit, because if you think rescuing her will buy you a lifetime of gratitude, then you are setting yourself up for dissapointment. One last question. How long ago was your divorce? That is a very important question since after a divorce, we tend to go through a series of emotions which makes us quite vulnerable to situations which might be regrettable in the future.  Upon ansewering those questions, you will get sound advice on the blog. Keep your eyes, and ears open, but mostly your mind.

1 How long have you been dating? 1 year
2 What is the age difference? 12
3 Where did you meet dating site
4 Do you speak Spanish? un poco
5 Have you been to DR before? yes to see her
6 Did you ask for money or did you volunteer to send money? stated financial issues I offered initially after we met then she requested it.
7 Why not apply for a Fiancee 90 day visa instead of getting married? Never heard of it. It it makes life easier and allow to to pass the 1st time I would love to do that
8 Who does she live with? family
9 Does she have any kids? yes
10 What does she do for a living? restaurant

dont wanna get to specifc

PARADISECAT wrote:

Sounds like you have made up your mind already, so in that case, I wish you well and please return and keep us posted on how things turn out. To answer your original question, it sounds like you are looking for the steps required to bring your girl to the U.S. I believe there is a thread on this site regarding those steps, but I will provide you with this link to a site which specializes in that matter. Best of luck in your quest

http://dominicanstotheusa.com/forum/ind … 702df&

LOL you think. Yes she is awesome. It just amazes me that I can relate to everyones testimonials on the bad. So any feedback is welcome. I like hearing the stories.

Thank you so much for the link

Hi, you seem to have found the same one I did. But saw the lying after being told the same excuses for not being able to talk on the phone. She claimed to b sick for 3 months which made her unable to talk for two months. That's being a pen dijo, dumbass. Anyway her name would have the initials YT? They are good at melting your heart. They smooth talkers and will manipulate you in think you volunteer to send them money. They know exactly what they are doing. Once they have you hooked, the money starts to flow. Good luck.

You are most welcomed on the link. The Fiancé visa allows you to bring her to the U.S. and you have 90 days once she enters the U.S. to decide if you want to marry her or not, if you decide not to marry her, then she will return home.

       I would like to add one more thing. You mentioned that your divorce has not been completed. If you still decide to go through with the visa process, the Ametican consulate will require plenty of proof on the relationship you have had with this younglady, pictures, number of visits to see her, time spent toguether, etc. They might even want to see you both in person to detemine if the relationship is valid or not, so the fact that you have just been through a divorce, that might raise some red flags at the consulate.

       As far as her having a child, you might want to know if the father is still in the picture, because I have seen cases where the woman marries a foreigner, divorces him, and then reunites the original family at the expense of the original foreigner.

       Let make a simple suggestion to you, and it is only just a suggestion. I suggest you come up with some excuse to not send money for a few months, maybe something happened at work, or you had some sort of emergency. After doing so, observe the behaviour of this woman when you are not able to send money for a while and see how she reacts. I'm sure she was surviving before you came in the picture financially and she is cool, she will continue to exhibit the same level of interest after you stop sending money. I would also not announce any future visits, just pop up from time to time and see if she is available to spend time with you. Just some friendly testing advice in order to determine true intentions.

ChevySS wrote:

Hi, you seem to have found the same one I did. But saw the lying after being told the same excuses for not being able to talk on the phone. She claimed to b sick for 3 months which made her unable to talk for two months. That's being a pen dijo, dumbass. Anyway her name would have the initials YT? They are good at melting your heart. They smooth talkers and will manipulate you in think you volunteer to send them money. They know exactly what they are doing. Once they have you hooked, the money starts to flow. Good luck.

Yeah we went through some trials and tribulations in the beginning. Supposedly a mis understanding. Hope she doesnt check these forums lol. But things are suppose to stay smooth sailing. Im in the smooth sailing phase lol. Its been discussed that things should not change in order to keep confidence levels up. I just worry about the visa denials. I can afford to do her monthly fees. Like I said I have some who ask for no money because they didnt need it. I can see the need here. I dont mind. Dont care about the money. I care more about the honesty.

One day Money and Honesty went for a walk up the hill, Money overpowered Honesty and only Money came back down from the Hill

PARADISECAT wrote:

You are most welcomed on the link. The Fiancé visa allows you to bring her to the U.S. and you have 90 days once she enters the U.S. to decide if you want to marry her or not, if you decide not to marry her, then she will return home.

       I would like to add one more thing. You mentioned that your divorce has not been completed. If you still decide to go through with the visa process, the Ametican consulate will require plenty of proof on the relationship you have had with this younglady, pictures, number of visits to see her, time spent toguether, etc. They might even want to see you both in person to detemine if the relationship is valid or not, so the fact that you have just been through a divorce, that might raise some red flags at the consulate.

       As far as her having a child, you might want to know if the father is still in the picture, because I have seen cases where the woman marries a foreigner, divorces him, and then reunites the original family at the expense of the original foreigner.

       Let make a simple suggestion to you, and it is only just a suggestion. I suggest you come up with some excuse to not send money for a few months, maybe something happened at work, or you had some sort of emergency. After doing so, observe the behaviour of this woman when you are not able to send money for a while and see how she reacts. I'm sure she was surviving before you came in the picture financially and she is cool, she will continue to exhibit the same level of interest after you stop sending money. I would also not announce any future visits, just pop up from time to time and see if she is available to spend time with you. Just some friendly testing advice in order to determine true intentions.

Wonderful suggestions.  I think time will tell regardless. We know we have time ahead to continue to know each other, Yes that should be researched why me going through a divorced and once completed why it would send a flag. I think I am going to leave this in Gods hands. I will surely report the outcome. maybe it might be one of those 1 and million of hitting the lottery. When I see things start to deteriorate may be ill do more investigation

PARADISECAT wrote:

One day Money and Honesty went for a walk up the hill, Money overpowered Honesty and only Money came back down from the Hill

did you make that up lol. That was a good one

LoL! More or less I changed it a bit from a similar anecdote You might want to check out a wonderful show on TLC called 90 day Fiance' it will give you a better idea about the process known as the K1 visa....You might be able to find a few free episodes online or on the TLC app, Here is a youtube link on one of the more recent Dom/Amer couples.
https://youtu.be/6uBa2YhHUqA

Can I just say that regardless of whether she is  Dominican, or American, Canadian or whatever... If you feel the urge to save, rescue, or deliver  her, you are exhibiting tendencies of co-dependent behavior.

Listen to these people, read the other threads, the answers to your questions are all here. But, if you are in rescue mode, no one can save you but yourself.

WOW! You are steadfast in your repeating your intention to prceed down the Yellow Brick Road. Why then, ask for advice?  Perhaps a tickle of doubt resides in your mind?  It looks as if you will travel to Purgatory &  pay no heed to us.  Remember that you will be held responsible for any and debts & expenses incurred by here in the U.S..  The others have said all that needs to be said. I have nothing more to add,except that it would be advantageous to gently remove your head from your ass. I truly wish for you to be one of the minority to succeed, even though you are faced with a myriad of warning flags.  Good luck.

I am not in rescue mode. Must have been typo. I don't have much money. I would give money or pay for things even if the woman had money here in the states. The people here are really broke due to low wages and lack of jobs and single mothers. Of course they would want financial support as any other woman in that situation. But the question is do they care about you at all and it's all a big lie and a huge elaborate stunt. I guess only time well tell.

True thanks.  I was mainly wondering the best way to get a visa without being denied. Also I am listening to everyone and I appreciate everyone's comments. I got my answer. I still like the feedback though and the stories.

Stilzz, I was so wrought up about your problem that I neglected to say that I had married a Dominicana. I've said it before on this site. The whole story. All I can say is:  They deserve "Oscars" for there ability to deceive. I have had very rewarding long term (2-3 years) here. Wonderful women. I met them here. In offices,places where they worked. It took time to develop the relationships. No headlong rush into it. Mutual respect, growing knowledge of who & what we were.  I now the power of need AND the pain dishonesty.  Beware of the bait in the honey trap.

hristi

Yeah I'm going for the minority prize. Diamond in the rough. I will gain no matter what happens. This mission keeps me focus. Also hopefully I will become fluent in Spanish. I'm only sending 200 bucks a,month I shouldn't have to pay more than that. That covers food for a month. I can't afford anything else to give. And I guess we shall see. Hopefully no obstacles like in the past. So what happen with your relationship. After visiting there SD I don't think it would be a problem meeting someone else or even from another Latin country. I just choose this one. If she keeps her word we will be successful. The women in the US just became too off the chain. They are the true masters. So I was seeking traditional family lifestyle and it seems like the Latino community still has it. Very hard to find someone here with those morals and values that I am attracted too. Obesity and laziness runs rampant in my community. The odds are against me but I have no reason to walk away. Just hoping for the best andx do my part. If if doesn't work then I'm sure my next hurrah will be even better.  Thanks for your response.

Hi there!
Well, I went with my heart & hit the lottery!
Met her on Dominican Cupid about 9 years ago.
Met in person 8 years ago.
Got married 4 years ago.
Great family here!
NO real problems so far, not expecting any!
Life is good.
Tom.

They are friends of mine. He is telling the truth.  It can Happen, though rare.

Tomas Cabrera wrote:

Hi there!
Well, I went with my heart & hit the lottery!
Met her on Dominican Cupid about 9 years ago.
Met in person 8 years ago.
Got married 4 years ago.
Great family here!
NO real problems so far, not expecting any!
Life is good.
Tom.

That is awesome. I think she is a good girl. Always aware of the Oscarphobia. The scams on those Cupid sites are unbelievable. If my situation turns out ok I feel sorry for people who have gone through this elaborate scheme and lose the girl. Sounds like all the stories are the same. The only difference is do they get the girl or not. It's a poor country money should be expected. Single mothers money should be expected. I just worry about the denied aspect for visa that could be a deterrent in it self to make you give up. And not there fault. Seems all very diabolical. I can send money to my friend. Using love is terrible

the tinker40 wrote:

They are friends of mine. He is telling the truth.  It can Happen, though rare.

Amazing how rare these things are. Smh

Actually, I have had nothing bad happen with any of the relationships I started
from DC.
All great.
Tom
Good luck. there are lots of scary stories out there.

To answer your question - there is no guaranteed way to get her to the USA.

A year may not be long enough.
How you met may not be acceptable.
The amount of time together may not be long enough.
Your proof of an actual relationship may not be good enough.

How well do you actually know each other?

It is likely that you will be rejected the first time around.  Most get.rejected on the first application. Those are the facts based on the statistics.

planner wrote:

To answer your question - there is no guaranteed way to get her to the USA.

A year may not be long enough.
How you met may not be acceptable.
The amount of time together may not be long enough.
Your proof of an actual relationship may not be good enough.

How well do you actually know each other?

It is likely that you will be rejected the first time around.  Most get.rejected on the first application. Those are the facts based on the statistics.

Thank you so much. I'm so sorry to her that. Well I will continue to do my research
Thank you

Another Lemming joining the dash to the cliffs.  The fall may not be fatal, but the pain is long lasting & the potential for creating an emotional cripple.     Please slow down, if she is real, she will understand & wait for you.  Do you intend to bring the children to the U,S. also?  If not, then she will have to abandon her kids.  What does that tell you of her personal values. Have you seen & read her Cedula?   May you triumph in your quest for honest, true love.

Good advice Tinker!
Tom.

the tinker40 wrote:

Another Lemming joining the dash to the cliffs.  The fall may not be fatal, but the pain is long lasting & the potential for creating an emotional cripple.     Please slow down, if she is real, she will understand & wait for you.  Do you intend to bring the children to the U,S. also?  If not, then she will have to abandon her kids.  What does that tell you of her personal values. Have you seen & read her Cedula?   May you triumph in your quest for honest, true love.

The woman is a good woman. The whole family stays together
She will bring her son once she settles. I will slow down. I see to get more attention when I don't speak to her. I will continue to talk to my other friends. Seems like I know for a fact that these women are sincere. I wonder if there is anything on my part that I need to prepare to have.