Tips and advice to thrive in Puerto Rico

I think that the answers to your questions lie within. Why do you want to live in Puerto Rico? It it for a job? Spouse? Financial? There are many cheaper and easier places in the continental US to live than Puerto Rico. You have to identify why you want to be here so that you have something to build your new life on.  For me, I just like the Caribbean. I grew up a couple of islands over so these beaches, these mountains feel like a home from my past and that makes me want to retire to here. But, that's me. If you have never traveled outside of the continental US or lived in another country then the task of integrating might seem daunting. It's really not as difficult as it may seem, but it does take a shift in your mental attitude. Change is always work, but there is good change that makes us grow and adapt and bad change that just stresses us out. If you have not identified the positive reason(s) for your new life in Puerto Rico, then your experience will be stressful.

How quickly you adapt will have everything to do with how you view your change; For example, if the lines in the grocery store make you uncomfortable and staring at products that you don't recognize intimates you, you might want to rethink. If, on the other hand, a trip to the hardware store has you listening to the clerks explain the various "clavos" in Spanish so that you can pick up new words, you're probably going to do ok. People are the same the world over. Everyone wants to live well and in peace, feel safe and feel wanted. If you reach out to others, they will reach out to you.

If you are unsure of how rapidly you can become comfortable, there are expat communities that will make you feel almost as if you are Stateside. But be warned that they will tend to insulate you from the Puerto Rican culture and have the downside of  "us vs. them". If you truly want to make this your home then you should strive to make local friends. Once you do that, the culture will start to unfold for you.

So, "integration" as such should not be your goal. Being comfortable living within the newness of your surroundings should. There is no bright line that you cross over into integration. It's really all in your head. Any place you go you will have to figure out how things are done and generally once you do, your stress level drops. Puerto Rico is no different. Personally, the hardest problem that I have found (looking as gringo as I do) is that when I run into a clerk that is bilingual and they immediately switch to English when waiting on me, occasionally they find it a bit annoying (because it slows them down) when I switch to my (very bad) Spanish!  But I smile and tell them that I am just trying to improve and that usually gets them.

Good luck!

Yeah what Bear66 said. Just try to integrate yourself into the culture and maybe even learn some Spanish so you can converse with the locals at the market or in town. 

Being Puerto Rican from New York, I thank my Mother in Heaven every day because she spoke Spanish to me all my life and it has given me that edge that many people don't have. 

Anywhere in the world that you go, the local people take more to you if you at least attempt to speak to them in their language. Don't worry they won't make fun of you.

Most of all, bring your patience with you. It has been a bit difficult for me, coming from a hurry up and move town but I have adjusted.

The one most important thing is to enjoy the paradise that Puerto Rico is.

I have found the phrase "estoy aprendiendo español" very useful. It usually makes people smile and be more patient when I tell them that I am learning Spanish.  It shows that you are looking to integrate into the community.

I'm still trying to adjust....its been 8 months. How long should it take?!

What sort of things are you having difficulty with?
Maybe you need to meet more expats that you can have lunch with and they can advice you and introduce you to others?

I agree wholeheartedly with Dafa that you should show that at least you are at least trying to  learn the language. Also with Rey's advise to try to meet up with other expats who can help you understand the culture by sharing some of their experiences.

Perhaps put a post to all expats near you and maybe have a get- together. That should be fun and informative.

Best of luck to you and hope you adjust soon.

Tonie

When it comes to the native language PR is a little different than what I found in Germany. In PR people will appreciate you trying, some will use their English but a lot of people are afraid of using their English and making mistakes. In Germany they wanted to practice their English, so the moment I opened my mouth in German, they giggled and switch to English. In two years I learned enough to get by and a lot of Germans got very good at their English.

In school Puerto Ricans have 1 hour a day of English and that is the English class. All other classes (Math, History, Etc) are all in Spanish. So they don't get to practice much unless they are around mainlanders all the time. English is definitely a second language in PR.

The more you learn, the easier everything else becomes.

PS. The German I learned I have not used in over 30 year, so I only remember a few words now.

Bear66 covered many of my sentiments about the adjustment process.  It really lies within yourself ... how you react to different ways of things being done.  I moved here six months ago.  I like it here much better than when I first arrived, and I have been traveling here since the early '90s, but it's been a slow process.  The weather is predictably beautiful, but experiences when trying to do things are very unpredictable; you just never know what obstacles or roadblocks you will encounter.  Some processes are antiquated and disjointed, especially when dealing with property, government, and municipalities. Other processes are not, and can pleasantly surprise you.  We are finding that asking a local, a neighbor, or a friendly person you can strike up a conversation with, usually has valuable information or a referral to someone that can help with just about anything. 

Beware of falling into the mentality of "me versus them" because it can really skew your perception and cause you to want to return or retreat.  There will be good days and there will be bad days, just like anywhere you live.  Embrace the things you really like here and tolerate the not so good things that you can't change.  If things get you too down, go back home for a short bit.

All good points being made.  We are here for 4 weeks and it is the longest we've stayed.  But we are loving it even though we had some bumps with the original rental and the good folks here helped us find another location here in Rincon.  Really lovely people here and we wave at everyone and they break a smile and wave back....so  cool!

melendezki wrote:

Bear66 covered many of my sentiments about the adjustment process.  It really lies within yourself ... how you react to different ways of things being done.  I moved here six months ago.  I like it here much better than when I first arrived, and I have been traveling here since the early '90s, but it's been a slow process.  The weather is predictably beautiful, but experiences when trying to do things are very unpredictable; you just never know what obstacles or roadblocks you will encounter.  Some processes are antiquated and disjointed, especially when dealing with property, government, and municipalities. Other processes are not, and can pleasantly surprise you.  We are finding that asking a local, a neighbor, or a friendly person you can strike up a conversation with, usually has valuable information or a referral to someone that can help with just about anything. 

Beware of falling into the mentality of "me versus them" because it can really skew your perception and cause you to want to return or retreat.  There will be good days and there will be bad days, just like anywhere you live.  Embrace the things you really like here and tolerate the not so good things that you can't change.  If things get you too down, go back home for a short bit.

I tell people to have patience, things move at a different pace than the mainland, also some things like you pointed out are ass backwards or inefficient, some things feel like going back in time 20-30 years. But there is constant change, PR will be 5 years more modern in another 10 years.

Rey, since we moved here, our grandson who is now a senior in HS still has not learned Spanish(well not to my liking at least). He doesn't speak it but definitely understands it.  When he began school,he was scared that the kids would make fun of him since he was a gringo but once he made some English speaking friends, he has been finding school bearable.  He has made many friends and the way he tells it, he is the person that most want to be friends with since he speaks English.

True that the school only teaches English in that one class but many , not all of the kids enjoy speaking English and find it an advantage to be able to converse with my grandson and practice their English.

The teachers hold him up to some students as an example, since he doesn't speak the language but is doing much better than many students who speak the native language and understand better. Granted some of the teacher make some concessions for him and a couple of other English speaking students but I think that he is the example that everyone is trying to follow.  He knows that we do not take any excuse for doing bad and I have told him that when he graduates, I should stand up there also since I have had to translate work for him many times and I should get the credit also, only kidding.  He knows that we are there for him, as many other parents apparently are not, hence they don't really care or know better, thus the kids don't care or know better.

My point being that yes, the classes are mostly in Spanish but don't kid yourself, many people here know English. If they don't want to use it, is a different story.

I have been in PR for 2 weeks now and so far I love it.  I registered my car and got a drivers license with little problem (and in less time at the DMV in Maryland). I have also found people to be extremely friendly.  I ALWAYS start off in Spanish and have found 99% of people will gladly speak English to me once they hear my accent.  I am loving being able to go oceanside for a meal or drink.  The only trouble I am having is with my food preferences.  I am not a fan of fried food nor of rice and beans.  Getting a salad either as a meal or as a side had been a challenge but eating home more has been my answer.  I haven't made any friends, either expat or local, because I have just been setting up house but I look forward to try and make some great friends here.  My advice is to find a few things you like-like the beach or fishing, etc, and do that.  You will make friends that like that also.  I can't wait to take up standup paddle boarding.  Looks fun and hopefully I will make friends that like that too.  Can I also suggest taking a Spanish class.  Learn the language and meet other expats at the same time...