Happy Halloween

ADULT HALLOWEEN JOKES
   

    10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...

    1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

    2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

    3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

    4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

    5. I got the best piece from that house.

    6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

    7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

    8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

    9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

    10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!

   
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

    10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

    9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

    8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

    7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

    6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.

    5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.

    4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.

    3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

    2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

    1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!
   

Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men

    1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.

    2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.

    3. One usually makes a better pie.

    4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

    5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.

    6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.

    7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.

    8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.



    Question: Why don't witches ever have babies?
    Answer: Warlocks have hollow weenies.

    Question: Why can't Witches have babies?
    Answer: Because their husbands have crystal balls